


Coffee Cats

by Lapras



Category: EDM
Genre: Unfinished
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-11
Updated: 2013-03-11
Packaged: 2017-12-05 00:19:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 82,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/716709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lapras/pseuds/Lapras





	Coffee Cats

1ish  
Sebastian set his bags down in his new apartment. It was pretty much a shoebox. He could see every room from the front door. It didn’t help that the living room, kitchen, dining room and bedroom were basically the same room. He smiled at it.  
“So much better than school…”  
He left his suitcase by the door and immediately crawled onto the carpeted floor. He stared up at the ceiling and took a deep breath. New city. New people. New life. After a few minutes passed, he rolled over and pulled the cardboard box over to him. He slid his thumb under the tape and starting pulling packing material out of the box until he found an ashtray. A small blue one with three indents.  
He set it on the ground and then got his pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and christened the space with smoke.  
Two cigarettes later, he pulled a lamp out of the box, which he set next to the ashtray. Then he brought out a plate, a pot, and a fork. His other bag was full of clothing, not a speck of color to be found in it. On the bottom of the box, were about six more ashtrays. Each from a different place. He went about setting them strategically around the apartment.  
Then he put the suitcase in the corner of the room where the bed would eventually go. He put the lamp on the other side of the “bed”. The last bag, a grocery bag, had CD’s and books. He set those in stacks next to the lamp. It was good enough for now.  
Lying down on the carpet, he put his headphones on and listened to music until he fell asleep. 

He awoke to a phone call at 5 in the morning. It was Gaspard. He almost didn’t pick up, but he knew Gaspard was doing him a favor. So he managed to retrieve his phone and answer.  
“This better be good.”  
“Hey,” Gaspard said. “If you want this job, you have to get down here in half an hour.”  
“What the hell for?” Sebastian croaked into the phone.  
“And smoke before you get here. Pedro doesn’t like people smoking by the food. I’ll see you soon.”  
And he hung up. Sebastian stared at the phone, hoping it might burst into flames. It did not. 30 minutes later he was dragging his body down the street towards the address Gaspard had given him.  
A storefront loomed up. Two big windows with writing and drawings all over them. Vanilla Chai Scones, back in season just for you! There was a drawing of two people eating scones and dancing. Sebastian scowled at the window, and the longer he stared, he realized someone was staring back on the other side.  
The man was at least six feet tall and had near shoulder length stick straight hair. And he was grinning. He waved at Sebastian and then motioned to the front door. Sebastian was beginning to regret this. He opened the door to be greeted by the scent of bread and sugar and coffee. It wrapped around him like a warm blanket.  
The guy was there. “Hey.”  
“Hello,” Sebastian mumbled. “Is Gaspard here?”  
“Hey,” his old friend waved at him from behind the counter. He was wearing an apron and had a light dusting of flour over his beard. “Long time no see.”  
“Tell me about it,” Sebastian said.  
“Seb, this is Pedro,” Gaspard motioned. “He owns the place. He’s the one who’s going to hire you.”  
Pedro offered his hand to Sebastian. “Nice to finally meet you.”  
Sebastian shook, feeling nervous. “Yeah, you too.”  
“Welcome to Coffee Cats,” Pedro said and opened his arms. “What do you think?”  
Sebastian looked around then. In front of him was a long counter with a cash register. Behind that were many menu boards with the same style of illustrations stuck in between the items. There was also a rather large display case of pastries, and beside that, a large shelf unit with scraps of bread.  
“Hey!” a voice called and two guys appeared behind the counter next to Gaspard. “Night crew’s over!”  
They took off their aprons and hopped over the counter, giving both their uniforms to Sebastian.  
“See you later losers!” The one with no hair on his head got the door for the other and saluted Pedro and Gaspard. A minute later three more guys stormed out of the back, running for the front door.  
“Later Pedro!” they called as they sprinted by Pedro and Sebastian. Each other them passed their aprons off to Sebastian, as if he were a coat rack.  
The last guy to step out of the back didn’t make for the doors. He smiled at Sebastian.  
“So that’s the night crew,” the guy said. “I’m the night manager, Bertrand. You won’t be seeing much of them, if you decide to stay with us.”  
“How was it?” Pedro asked him.  
Bertrand shrugged. “You know. They’re a bunch of slackers.”  
“Did we make any money?” Pedro asked.  
Bertrand smiled. “There were a couple people who came in after a party last night.”  
“Awesome,” Pedro said and then he turned back to Sebastian, taking his shoulders in his hands. “So you want to be a baker?”  
“What?” Sebastian asked.  
Gaspard jogged over and put his arm around Sebastian’s shoulder. “Oh yeah, he loves baking. Did it all through college, right Seb?”  
Sebastian just looked at him. Gaspard smiled and nodded.  
“Sounds good,” Pedro said and clapped his hands together. “You guys can get to work then, and Gaspard you can explain everything right?”  
Gaspard nodded. “Of course.”  
“Where’s Xavier?” Pedro asked.  
“Oh, he’s napping in the back office,” Gaspard said. “You can wake him when someone gets here.”  
Then he put his arm through Sebastian’s and led him quickly away from Pedro. When they were in the kitchen, away from everyone else, Sebastian pulled away from him.  
“You told me they were hiring cashiers. Easy stuff.”  
Gaspard ran a hand through his long hair. “Yeah…so I may have lied.”  
“Gaspard,” Sebastian started. “I haven’t baked anything in my entire life.”  
“Ah, you’ll be fine. Now help me make these chai scones,” he said.  
Sebastian just stood there a minute. “You’re joking right?”  
But Gaspard had already started throwing butter and sugar and flour into a bowl. “There’s cream in the fridge there,” he said, pointing to an industrial sized fridge. “Should be a carton and a bowl with saran wrap on it. Bring them both.”  
After a minute of Gaspard mixing batter, Sebastian opened the fridge with a huff. He found the bowl and the carton and pulled them out to put on the counter beside him. He smiled, “Thanks.”  
Sebastian leaned against the counter. “So…”  
“You want to know how I make them don’t you?”  
“Maybe,” Sebastian muttered.  
“Ever had a chai scone?” Gaspard asked. “I bet you haven’t.”  
“You would be correct.”  
“You have to soak the cream in chai tea. It’s real good. Now get a bowl and pour the rest of the carton of cream into it. There should be tea bags out front. Get about 5.”  
With a sigh, Sebastian did as he was told. When he stepped out front to find tea bags, there was another guy standing up front. He turned and pointed.  
“You’re not supposed to be up here,” he said.  
“I think I work here,” Sebastian said.  
“Oh,” the guy held out his hand. “Uh, I’m Thibaut.”  
“I’m sorry what was that?”  
The guy looked at the ground. “Uh, you can just call me Breakbot. Or just Break. Everyone calls me Break.”  
“I’m Sebastian,” he replied. “Can you show me where tea bags are?”  
Break pointed at a drawer against the wall. Sebastian rooted through it, looking for the box labeled Chai.  
“So…you’re the new baker?” Break asked.  
Sebastian almost laughed. “Yeah I guess…we’ll see if it works out.”  
“You don’t want to work here?” Break asked. The hurt in his voice surprised Sebastian. He looked up to see Break staring at him with wide eyes. “What’s wrong with us?”  
“I didn’t say that,” Sebastian started.  
“We’re not perfect but we make it work,” Break went on.  
Sebastian stared at him, not sure what to do. “Uhm…”  
“You okay, Break?” Gaspard asked from the kitchen doorway.  
Break nodded. “I’m sorry. I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.”  
Gaspard looked at Sebastian. “You got the tea?”  
Sebastian inched towards him with the box in his hand. They slipped back into the kitchen and Sebastian glanced at the doors again.  
“Is he okay?” he asked.  
Gaspard nodded, and held something out to Sebastian. “Yeah he’ll be fine. He had a bad customer yesterday so he’s a little touchy right now.”  
Sebastian took what he realized was an apron from Gaspard. “What happened?”  
“Well this guy—hey open those tea bags and put them in the cream,” he admonished.  
Sebastian started freeing tea bags from pouches.  
“This guy comes into the shop in a real hurry—put your apron on,” he gestured at the orange apron. Sebastian sighed, but strapped the apron on. “He’s in a real hurry. And he orders an Americano with an extra shot. And someone put cream in it by mistake. Probably Fabien, we’re not sure. And this guy just starts going off to Break about how he ruined his favorite drink and why can’t he listen correctly and isn’t the customer always right?”  
Sebastian watched Gaspard’s face as he told the story. He remained focused on the batter he was mixing up, and now adding white chocolate chips to. His hands worked fast and seemed to be aware of everything around him, knowing exactly where to reach for anything he needed without looking away.  
“It wasn’t Break’s fault, but no one likes to get yelled at. Of course Uffie stepped in and told the guy where to shove his Americano. But Break is really sensitive now.”  
Sebastian paused from placing the tea bags into the bowl of cream. “You guys are fucking weird.”  
Gaspard smiled. “You’re either with us or you’re against us. So which is it?”  
Sebastian stared at the bowl of cream and tea. It stared back. “I’ll let you know.”  
Gaspard laughed quietly. “Well we’d love to have you. I need an extra set of hands back here. And the area’s pretty cool. Also Xavier wants to meet you.”  
“You’re friend from home?” Sebastian asked.  
“Can you get me a baking sheet?” he pointed behind him to a shelf full of different baking trays. Sebastian grabbed one and set it on the counter next to the bowl of dough. “Wash your hands.”  
Rolling his eyes, Sebastian went to the sink. “Why does Xavier want to meet me? From what you told me about him, he doesn’t really like anyone.”  
“Yeah, he doesn’t. But neither do you. He’s curious. Come over and here and I’ll show you how to set the dough.”  
They worked quietly, placing little triangles of scone batter onto the sheet. Sebastian felt the minutes ticking by. When the sheet was in the oven, Gaspard patted his apron, leaving a handprint of flour on his chest.  
“You earned a smoke break, I know you want one.”  
“Thank Christ,” Sebastian tore the apron off and Gaspard pointed him towards the back door. He stepped out into the ally way. By then, the morning had begun to burn off. He leaned against the brick wall and lit up, sliding onto the ground as he inhaled.  
It wasn’t what he expected. It wasn’t that difficult, but Sebastian didn’t know if he could handle these freaks. He didn’t know if he could handle anyone.  
The door banged open and a tiny blonde girl stepped out with another tiny guy with black hair. The two of them had cigarettes lit before they noticed Sebastian sitting on the ground.  
“Hey little fella,” the girl said and leaned down. “You lost?”  
“I work in there,” Sebastian, jerking his thumb behind him at Coffee Cats. “Or I kind of do.”  
“There’s no kind of,” the back haired guy said. He looked vaguely Asian and that’s how Sebastian knew he was Xavier. Gaspard’s best friend. “You either work here or you don’t. Go somewhere else if you don’t like it.”  
The girl pouted at Xavier. “Don’t mind Mr. Judgey over here. I think its perfectly fine if you don’t know what you want to do.” She reached her hand over to Sebastian. “Name’s Uffie. Or Anna. But really its Uffie.”  
Sebastian took her hand. “Does everyone here have nicknames?”  
She smiled. “We don’t let stupid shit like legal names get in our way. What’s your name?”  
“Sebastian,” he said.  
“Oh, shit, you’re the guy,” Xavier said, pointing his cigarette at him. Then a shadow seemed to pass over his face. “What did Gaspard say about me? It’s a fucking lie. He lies all the time.”  
Uffie elbowed him. “So do you, drama queen.”  
“Yeah but I have to lie,” Xavier said. “He just does it for fun.”  
She narrowed her eyes at him. “There you go again.”  
Sebastian got back to his feet. “Well…it was nice meeting you.”  
“Wait,” Uffie put a hand on his chest, still looking at Xavier. “You, be nice.” Then she looked back at him with a smile. “Whatever you decide is cool with me. But we should go out for drinks sometime. Get to know each other.”  
Sebastian nodded, more so she’d let him go than because he was interested. She smiled and let him. As he walked away, he swore he saw Xavier make the ‘I’m watching you’ gesture, pointing to both his eyes and then at him.  
As he walked back, Pedro was standing in the hallway, still smiling. Sebastian was starting to think he was always smiling.  
“Let me give you the grand tour.”  
“…okay…” Sebastian said, not seeing a way out of it. The man was gigantic.  
Pedro led him back into the front of the store. “So here’s the deal. We have Thibaut, though we call him Break, or Breakbot, up on Cashier. He takes everyone’s orders and gets their money.”  
Breakbot waved sheepishly. Sebastian returned with an equally unimpressive wave.  
“Our barista’s are Uffie and Fabien. Uffie’s out back. But Fabien is here,” he pointed out a guy in a baseball cap sitting on the counter behind Break. He gave Pedro and Sebastian a salute.  
“Hey. Don’t let Uffie tell you otherwise, I make the best coffee here. You need anything, you come to me.” He nodded pointedly.  
“Obviously you know Gaspard,” Pedro said. “And you met Bertrand and the night crew already. Sort of…so all that’s left is our server, Xavier.”  
“I met him,” Sebastian said. “And Uffie.”  
“Great, so that’s everyone.” Pedro had his arm around Sebastian’s shoulder. “We’d love to have you. But of course, no pressure. If you want to use your baking talents somewhere else, that’s up to you. But we could use your help. You can give me your answer at the end of the day, if that’s alright.”  
Sebastian nodded. Pedro left him there in the middle of the shop. The customer area was pretty much full of couches and love seats and even a recliner. It was a cozy place. Warm. Everything Sebastian wasn’t used to.  
“Hey,” Gaspard was calling him from the doorway. “Need your help.”  
Sebastian found himself walking to the back and putting an apron on. 

A few hours melted away. So far he had learned about scones and snickerdoodles and croissants. The kitchen was deathly hot and his arms were sore from kneading dough. He stepped out into the front to get some fresher air. Breakbot was by himself up front. Uffie and Feadz were talking to a customer in the corner.  
“Who’s that?” Sebastian asked Breakbot.  
Break nodded. “Yeah that’s Franck. He’s a regular. Medium roast with cream and sugar. Sometimes add hazelnut sugar.”  
Sebastian raised an eyebrow.  
“He’s cool,” Break added. “He works at the bookstore.”  
Sebastian nodded.  
“Hey, can you do me a favor,” Break said. “Can you stand here for like five minutes? I need to run to the back.”  
“What?” Sebastian’s mouth opened. “I literally just started working here. You want me to handle people’s money?”  
Break leaned a little closer. “I drank too much coffee, I have to pee. I’ll be right back. No one’s going to come. Don’t worry about it. No one ever comes.”  
He took a step away from the register, so it already looked like Sebastian was supposed to be there. “Just write down the transaction if anyone comes in. You’ll be fine. I believe in you.”  
“I don’t know what I’m doing,” Sebastian protested.  
“Godspeed,” Breakbot said and pushed through the doors.  
“Shit,” Sebastian muttered. He turned back around just in time to see someone walk through the doors. The guy had his eyes on the menu, like he wanted something. “Shit,” Sebastian muttered.  
The guy couldn’t have been much older than Sebastian. Blond hair. Long nose. His hands were shoved deep into the pockets of an old lettermen jacket. He slowly took long strides towards the counter, eyes still on the menu. Sebastian heard him making a quiet hmmm noise.  
When he was close enough, he started drumming long fingers on the counter top. Sebastian was openly staring at him, terrified that he’d have to take an order and then the guy would just laugh at him for messing it up.  
The guy finally looked at him. “Can I just get, like, a shot of espresso?”  
“Uhm…sure…” Sebastian said. “Nothing in it?”  
He shook his head. Then his eyes kind of lit up. “Got any whiskey?”  
“I don’t…think we serve that here…”  
“That’s okay,” he said. “Just the espresso then.”  
Sebastian looked for something to write with. He was moving things around and checking behind tissue boxes and plastic spoons.  
“Looking for something?” the guy asked.  
“A pen,” Sebastian said, and started opening drawers.  
“Here,” the guy said and reached into his back pocket.  
“Uffie,” Sebastian called to the girl. “How much is an espresso?”  
“Two twenty five,” she called back, not even taking notice that Sebastian appeared to have a customer.  
Sebastian searched next for a piece of paper but could only find receipt paper, which he didn’t want to use.  
“Here,” the guy said and grabbed Sebastian’s hand. Then he wrenched up his sleeve and wrote ESPRESSO FOR KAVINSKY – 2.25 across his forearm. The pen scratched pleasantly across his skin.  
“I suppose I can’t get a copy of that, can I?” he asked, laughing.  
Sebastian took the pen out of his hand and then took the guy’s arm, repaying the favor, writing the same message across his wrist. But he had to check his own arm for spelling.  
“What kind of name is Kavinsky?” he asked as he wrote the letters out on the guy’s arm.  
“My name,” he answered. “Now how about that caffeine.”  
Sebastian gave him a dubious look before he stepped away. He looked around the counter for anything labeled espresso, or even for something to pour it in. After a minute of spinning around, he turned to Kavinsky.  
“Do you know what it looks like?”  
Kavinsky peered over the display case. Then he pointed at a carafe on the edge of the counter. It had a piece of tape and the word espresso scrawled across. Sebastian picked it up.  
“Where do I pour it?”  
“Just come here,” Kavinsky beckoned him closer. And then opened his mouth. “Just right in here.”  
“It’s probably hot,” Sebastian warned.  
“Don’t worry, I can’t feel heat anymore,” the guy said and continued gesturing to his open mouth. “I just need some espresso man. I can take it.”  
Sebastian debated his options, but considering he was probably going to walk out of here at the end of the day and never come back, he figured there was nothing to lose. So he just started pouring coffee into Kavinsky’s open jaws. After a few seconds, the guy started making Mhm noises so Sebastian took the carafe away.  
Kavinsky nodded a few times, savoring the taste. “Oh yeah that hit the spot. Sweet.”  
“That’s two twenty five,” Sebastian reminded him. He opened his hand.  
Kavinsky smiled. Then he titled his head back and cupped his hands around his mouth.  
“Gaspard! Xavier! Where the hell are you?”  
It took a few seconds but the pair emerged from the back room.  
“Holy shit,” Xavier stared at him. “Kavinsky. It’s Kavinsky,” he said to Gaspard.  
Gaspard nodded and smiled. “Wow. We weren’t sure you were really going to come.”  
“Of course I came,” Kavinsky said. “You guys got really good coffee here you know. Maybe I’ll work here.”  
“No,” Xavier said immediately. “Its bad enough you want to live with us, I won’t tolerate you being here too. Besides we just hired that asshole.” He pointed to Sebastian.  
“What?” Sebastian glared at him.  
Kavinsky laughed and stepped around the counter, throwing his arms around Xavier. “I missed you too, Xavier.”  
Xavier rolled his eyes and patted Kavinsky on the back. “I guess I missed you.”  
“Want to spot me for the coffee?” Kavinksy asked into his shoulder.  
Xavier shoved him away. “I hate you so much.” Then he stalked into the back.  
“I got it,” Gaspard said to him. “Sebastian, you don’t need to ring him up. It’s on the house.”  
“What’s on the house?” Pedro appeared in the doorway. Then he saw Kavinsky and Sebastian was pretty sure Pedro’s face exploded in about three different emotions at once. Happiness mixed with fear with just a touch of defeat.  
“Kavinsky,” he said. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”  
“I’m living here now,” he explained. “Gaspard and Xav are taking me in.”  
“Well best of luck,” he said and patted Gaspard on the back. Then he quickly retreated back into the kitchen.  
Kavinsky smiled at Gaspard and Sebastian. “So. Drinks tonight? That bar across the street looks pretty cool.”  
Gaspard put a hand on Kavinsky’s shoulder. “Maybe you should unpack your suitcase before you get hammered.”  
He fished a key out of his back pocket. “Here, this one’s for the building. This is for the apartment. You got the address? We’ll see you later.”  
Kavinsky took the keys and thanked him. Then he smiled at Sebastian. “I’ll see you later. Thanks for the caffeine and the tattoo.”  
And he left the shop. Gaspard looked at him. “Tattoo?”  
Sebastian looked at the ground. “I don’t like being up here.”  
“Let’s get you back to the kitchen,” Gaspard lead him away. They passed Breakbot coming back in.  
“Did I miss anything?” he asked.  
“Don’t leave me out there ever again,” Sebastian said before returning to the safety of the kitchen.  
   
2ish

Sebastian stood in front of the oven, watching the bread rise.  
“You know you could get a heat rash standing so close to that,” it was Xavier, leaning against the fridge.  
Sebastian looked at him, eyebrows cinching together. “You’re lying.”  
He tipped an imaginary hat. “Good job.”  
“So…you live with Gaspard.” Sebastian stated awkwardly.  
Xavier stared at him. “I’m waiting for the point.”  
Sebastian huffed. “Come on, man, work with me. I don’t know what I’m doing.”  
The oven beeped and Sebastian put on oven mitts, slowly removing loafs from the oven. A wave of heat washed over him. He set the pans down on the counter, and then put a few more in their place.  
“You seem to be doing pretty well,” Xavier said. When Sebastian had the oven closed again, Xavier walked over. “You’ll need these.” He pulled out some cooling racks from a cabinet under the oven.  
“Thanks,” Sebastian mumbled. He set about trying to free the bread from the pans, but Xavier quickly took the pan away from him.  
“If you keep shaking it like that it’ll break in half. You have to be nice.” He produced a long knife from a block and Sebastian took a step away from him reflexively. Then he eased the knife between the bread and pan, loosening it from the edges. With a flip, the bread slid out of place. “Be gentle,” he said harshly, pointing the knife at him.  
Sebastian raised his oven mitted hands up in surrender.  
“What’s going on in here?” Gaspard asked. “’Cause I can leave…”  
“You have a brute for an assistant,” Xavier said, setting the knife down.  
“There’s nothing about that sentence that’s correct,” Sebastian pulled the oven mitts off and took up the knife.  
“So you two are getting along swimmingly,” Gaspard translated, tying on his apron again. “I’m so glad two of my friends can see eye to eye so quickly. Warms my heart.”  
“What can I say? I’m a people person,” Xavier said before pushing through the doors into the front room.  
Sebastian managed to get another loaf out of the pan without it breaking. As he set it on the cooling rack, he caught Gaspard smirking at him.  
“What?” he asked.  
Gaspard shook his head, turning back to his batter. “Nothing, nothing. Just never thought I’d see you in a place like this.”  
Sebastian’s shoulders dropped. “Yeah well…”  
“To be fair I don’t think any of us ever imagined ourselves here. It’s one of those places, you know? You think you’ll pass a few months here, pay the rent until you get settled. And then two years later, you’re still here. And you kind of love it. In a really weird way.”  
At that moment, Uffie pushed through the doors. Her hair had migrated to the top of her head in a frazzled bun.  
“Sometimes I hate these bitches,” she said. Then she put on a really obnoxious high pitched voice and touched her chest. “Uhm, yeah, I’d like a skinny mocha caramel drizzle frapa-suck a dick with extra white bitch on top.”  
Sebastian snorted, putting his sleeve to his mouth.  
“Come here,” Gaspard said. She pouted at him and shuffled over. Gaspard lifted a spoon thick with batter. Uffie immediately closed her mouth around the spoon. “Or you can just do that,” Gaspard said.  
She smiled around the spoon, making generally pleased noises.  
“Cinnamon rolls cupcakes,” Gaspard said to Sebastian. “We take theming very seriously here.”  
Uffie tried to back away from Gaspard with the spoon still in her mouth. Gaspard frowned.  
“That’s my spoon.”  
She bit down harder. He let out a sigh and let her pull it out of his hand. Then he reached down and dabbed a bit of batter onto his finger and swiped it onto her nose. She squeaked and glared and then laughed, forced to take the spoon out of her mouth.  
“It’s good Gaspard,” she said.  
But Gaspard had more batter on his hand and he was painting lines across her cheeks. “Now you look like a cupcake warrior,” he said.  
She flexed her arms around her head and growled. “I can take on any customer now! But first…” she stepped over to Sebastian. “I need a blessing…from your gigantic nose.  
Sebastian touched his face. “It’s not that big.”  
She took his face in her hands. “Baby boy, you have a glorious monument of a nose and you should be proud of it.” Then she leaned close and touched her nose to his, leaving a spot of batter behind. “And now I have borrowed some its power.”  
“I want some,” Gaspard said and before he could object, Gaspard was touching his nose to Sebastian’s. And then he and Uffie high fived.  
“Wow,” Sebastian said and rubbed his face. “I think you owe me some dinner.”  
“Anytime, baby boy,” she said and left for her post.  
“Is it always like this?” Sebastian asked Gaspard.  
The man turned back to his batter, not doing anything about the spot on his nose. “Well…yes.”  
Sebastian raised a hand up to his face, but stopped himself. Leaving the batter where it was, he returned to his bread. 

After watching Gaspard ice a dozen cupcakes, the boys put them out on display. It was about 2:30 in the afternoon. Gaspard clapped Sebastian on the back.  
“Well, that’s it for today. Why don’t you get out of here and get some sleep. You can call me later and let me know if you’re coming in tomorrow or if I actually have to put a help wanted sign.”  
“Boo,” Feadz called from behind them. “We don’t need any help, we’re fine.”  
“Yeah, we have nose power,” Uffie said and winked at Sebastian. He half smiled back at her. Then she put her hands up to her ear and mouthed call me. Then she mimed drinking from a bottle, and did a few dance moves.  
Xavier came over to them and shook Sebastian’s hand. “Well…it was nice knowing you.”  
“He’s not dying, Xavier,” Gaspard said.  
Xavier shrugged. “Whatever.”  
Sebastian nodded. “It’s alright. He’s just preparing himself for the worst. It’ll make working with me easier.”  
“So…you’re going to stay?” Gaspard asked.  
Sebastian shrugged. “Yeah why not.”  
“You’re staying!” Pedro had appeared seemingly out of nowhere. He jumped over the counter like some gazelle, shouting, “Happy day!” He gave Sebastian a hug and then put his arms around Gaspard and Xavier.  
“What’s gotten into you?” Xavier asked.  
Pedro smiled. “I don’t have to read applications. They’re all going in the trash as soon as I get back to my office.”  
Xavier and Gaspard laughed at him. Then Pedro shook Sebastian’s hand. “And of course, I am very pleased to have our newest baker. We’ll take care of you, Sebastian.”  
He nodded, kind of maybe starting to believe all of it. “Thanks.”

Sitting in his apartment, smoking, he thought about getting a bed. Or a couch. Or something. Even a table. But he knew he had no money. So he turned to his kitchen, knowing there was nothing in there. Then he pulled out the bag Gaspard had given him. Of scraps from the bakery. He’d ruined a loaf of bread by accident, breaking it into chunks when he’d tried to flip it out of the pan. He ate the bread that he’d made and lay down on the floor of his apartment and listened to music, trying to imagine doing this again and again. 

As it turned out, the second day was easier than the first one. And the third even easier than that. Gaspard was slowly but surely cramming every recipe he knew into Sebastian’s brain. They made vanilla cupcakes filled chocolate pudding, and cinnamon rolls covered in glaze and stuffed with crushed walnuts and almonds, and blueberry cheese scones with sugar sprinkled on top. And he was near starving every time he left the shop. One day Gaspard turned to him, holding up a bowl of vanilla caramel batter.  
“This,” he said, “is the reason Kavinsky is living with us. This cake is his kryptonite. Two layers of vanilla, one layer of pudding, with caramel sauce between each layer. And salted caramel icing to top it off. And white chocolate shavings.”  
“I think I just had a heart attack,” Sebastian told him, staring into the batter.  
But that wasn’t just it. Uffie and Feadz were showing him everything else. He was given a detailed tour of the coffee corner, as they called it. He knew how to use the grinder and espresso machine, though the steamer still freaked him out. Sometimes when he was in the front putting things on display, Feadz would purposely set the steam off. Then Uffie punched him.  
Breakbot had even started to show him how to work the cash register.  
“No more arm receipts,” he had said to him one day and shown him the basics.  
Xavier had even deigned to give him some serving advice. Which added up to, “You serve the assholes first. The others won’t mind waiting.”  
Sebastian ended his first week exhausted and vaguely smelling of sugar and bread and coffee. But he knew everyone’s name, and they knew his. 

His Saturday began at about 6 in the morning when he woke up reflexively. After an hour he realized he wasn’t falling asleep so he lit a cigarette and ate a lemon and blueberry square for breakfast and turned to a book. When it was done he thought about going outside, but there wasn’t much he could think of that actually seemed worth standing up and putting clothes on for. So he got his phone and started looking uninterestedly at cheap sofas online. A few hours later he was startled awake by his phone. Gaspard was calling again.  
“Hey, Uffie wants to know what you’re phone number is.”  
Sebastian rubbed his eyes. “You could have just given it to her.”  
“Well I wanted to make sure it was okay.”  
“It’s okay,” Sebastian said.  
“He says its okay,” Gaspard said, presumably to Uffie. “She’s going to call you.”  
“But I’m talking with you. Why don’t you just give her your phone?”  
“I can’t trust her with my phone, I have to go now.” And he hung up.  
Not five seconds later, he was getting called again. “Uffie?” he answered.  
“How’d you know?” she asked. “Listen we’re all going to Joel’s fucking pizza place.”  
“Is that really what it’s called?” he asked.  
“No…I don’t remember what it’s really called. It’s just Joel’s fucking pizza place.”  
“So let me get this straight,” Sebastian said. “You called me from literally one foot away from the guy who was just on the phone with me, so we could all go out and get pizza together?”  
“Yeah pretty much. You coming? We can meet in front of Coffee Cats.”  
“Yeah sure,” Sebastian rolled onto his back and pawed around for his suitcase full of clothes. “I’ll see you in ten minutes.”  
When he dressed again, he headed towards the elevator. Being on the 16th floor was justification enough to take it. The ride was noisy and bumpy and smelled vaguely of cheap alcohol. It stopped on the 5th floor and the doors loudly rolled open to reveal Uffie and Gaspard standing in the hall. They both pointed at Sebastian like he was just the damndest thing they’d ever seen.  
“Are you trying to drive me insane?” Sebastian asked.  
They both got onto the elevator. “Do you live here too?” Uffie asked.  
“16th floor,” Sebastian said.  
“Crazy. Oh this means we can hag out all the time. Perfect.” She smiled and wrapped her arm around his. “We’re going to be great friends, you and I.”  
Sebastian laughed at her but couldn’t help but feel relieved that she had said that.  
“And you?” Sebastian looked at Gaspard. “Do you live here too?”  
He shook his head. “Nah Xav and I live over the bookstore. Next to Pedro and Bertrand.”  
“Don’t you mean you and Xav and Kav?” Uffie smiled and pinched his cheek. “You’re a daddy now.”  
“Oh God in heaven,” Gaspard said. “When I made that offer I really didn’t expect him to take us up on it.”  
“I bet Xavier is making you pay in interesting and fun ways,” Uffie quipped with a smile.  
“He’s biding his time,” Gaspard said darkly, wringing his hands. “I’m going to come home one night to find that one of them has killed the other, I just know it.”  
“Is he that bad?” Sebastian asked.  
The elevator rattled its door open for them. Gaspard took his time formulating a response. He held the front doors of the apartment building open for the two of them. Then he shoved his hands into his pockets.  
“Kavinsky is the kind of guy who does what he thinks is fun, no matter the consequences.”  
“He’s great to party with,” Uffie said. “But God I can’t imagine living with him.”  
“To be fair,” Gaspard said and put his arm around Uffie’s shoulder. “I can’t imagine living with you either.”  
Her eyes went wide. “I’m a doll.”  
“Whatever you say,” he smiled at her.  
They walked on, heading back towards the coffee shop. When they stepped inside, Xavier was standing behind the counter with a plate in his hand. It had two cups of coffee and a cupcake on it. His eyes widened when he saw them.  
“Thank Jesus,” he said and he practically dropped the plate of food onto the nearest table. The coffee cups jumped and nearly spilled all over the couple who sat there. He had his apron off and was throwing it in Breakbot’s general direction as he made it over to them.  
“Let’s get the hell out of here.”  
“Forgetting something?” Feadz asked from behind the counter. He held up a to go cup of coffee. Xavier jogged over and grabbed the cup, holding it close to his chest. Then he hurried out of the shop, holding the coffee like a child to his chest.  
“Xav likes his coffee,” Gaspard informed them.  
“I don’t have a problem,” Xavier said, spinning around to glare at them all. Then he sipped quietly.  
“Pizza!” Uffie clapped her hands together.  
They all jogged across the street towards what appeared to be Joel’s fucking pizza place, but there was no sign, just a big light up pizza above a wooden door. Gaspard opened the door for everyone, and the unmistakable smell of pizza made Sebastian’s stomach grumble. He hadn’t eaten all day.  
There were four people already inside, three of them wearing white shirts with pizza’s on the front. Two of them stood behind the counter, laughing, as the other two people worked out some kind of complex handshake. Kavinsky was one of them.  
“Kavinsky what the hell are you doing here?” Xavier asked.  
He grinned at all of them. “I was teaching Sonny Boy a secret handshake.”  
Sonny, a boy with black hair on most of his head was poised with his hands palms up in front of Kavinsky. They began some kind of ridiculous amped up patty cake that involved clicking their heels and possibly pretending to be elephants. When it was over the boys all cheered.  
“Now you’re a member of my secret club,” Kavinsky said. “And now these guys are going to buy me pizza.” He turned and smiled at them.  
Xavier was glaring intensely back. “I’m not buying you pizza.”  
“Xav, I’ll get it—” Uffie tried to say but Xavier held up a hand.  
“Shh, we’re not buying him anything. He has to learn.”  
“But Xavier…” Kavinsky was now giving him puppy dog eyes. “I want pizza.”  
“No!” Xavier shouted. “Get a job you hippie. Then you can buy your own god damn pizza.”  
Kavinsky was inching closer, actually making puppy dog noises. “Xavier…”  
Xavier remained steadfast, crossing his arms. Kavinsky was close enough now to wrap his arms around Xavier’s body.  
“But Xavier…I haven’t eaten all day.”  
“I fed you at lunch,” Xavier snapped.  
“You gave me a piece of crust,” Kavinsky said and then lifted Xavier off the ground. “Need I mention the thing? Do you want me to talk about the thing?”  
“Put me down you sonuvabitch,” Xavier snapped. “Fine. Uncle. You win, you whore.”  
Kavinsky tried to kiss Xavier but he wormed his way out and got to the counter. A boy with slicked back brown hair smiled and asked what he wanted.  
“Just pizza,” Xavier said. “Just get me a lot of pizza.”  
He was pulling out his wallet in a frenzy. Sebastian leaned over to Uffie.  
“What’s ‘the thing’?” he asked.  
She smiled. “No one knows but them.”

Fifteen minutes later they had consumed two pizzas between the five of them, mostly due to Kavinsky. He was regaling them with tales from his travels. About the time he got plastered at a motel 6 and the cops showed up but there were so many people packed into his room that they couldn’t arrest them all so they just left. And then the motel clerk confessed that he just wanted to get Kavinsky alone.  
“Did you go with him?” Uffie asked. “Tell me you had a one night stand with a guy who almost got you arrested.”  
Kavinsky shrugged, and smiled dubiously. “A magician never reveals his secrets.”  
“You’re not a magician. You’re a fucking hobo,” Xavier said.  
“But I’m you’re hobo,” he said and made a heart with his hands.  
Xavier flung a pepperoni at him and laughed. Kavinsky peeled the pepperoni off his arm and pointed it at Sebastian. “I vote new guy tells us an embarrassing college story. Anything involving alcohol is acceptable. Or one night stands. Or just being naked.”  
Sebastian stopped for a minute, his eyes unfocusing. A blur of faces rushed through his mind, but those were not funny stories. Not things to share with friends. He realized then how unfunny his existence had been. Humor came from friends. That was the thing he had lacked for so long. He cleared his throat.  
“Sorry but I don’t have good stories.”  
“I didn’t say good,” Kavinsky said. “I said embarrassing. Now spill. Everyone has one.”  
He took a breath. “Okay, so my college was down the road from an all girl’s school.”  
Kavinsky clapped his hands together. “Yes! I love this already.”  
Uffie leaned in closer and put her chin on her hands. “Do tell.”  
“Well I was supposed to meet a girl there, but she didn’t tell me she had a roommate. And the roommate came home at a…bad time. But their dorm was very strict on having people over and her roommate was uptight, so the girl basically pushed me out of a window to get me out of the room.”  
Kavinsky and Uffie burst out laughing.  
“How high was the window?” Gaspard asked. “Were you okay?”  
“No, I was fine, it was the first floor, but I kind of broke through the screen. And she didn’t give me any of my clothes back.”  
Uffie and Kavinsky were holding each other and laughing.  
“How far did you have to walk?” Xavier asked.  
“I had to take the bus,” Sebastian went on. “But I couldn’t get on without clothes, so I had to steal some pants from a donation box. They were plaid and twice my size.”  
“Tell me you still have them,” Uffie asked, grabbing his arm.  
“I burned them when I got home,” Sebastian said. “God only knows where they had been.”  
“Flawless,” Kavinsky shouted. “That’s a hell of a story. Welcome aboard.”  
He offered his hand. Sebastian took it without hesitation. He did not know much about Kavinsky, or the crazy look in his eyes, but he knew he was someone good to keep around. Someone to get him to tell these stories. Someone to laugh with him.  
3 kind of

After pizza, Kavinsky made Xavier promise to go drinking with him.  
“You don’t have to,” Gaspard said, but Xavier gave him a look. “Someone has to go with him. Besides, we need to catch up.”  
Kavinsky lifted him in his arms again and carried him out of the pizza place. Gaspard yawned and bid them both goodnight. Uffie smiled at Sebastian strangely.  
“What?” Sebastian asked. “Is it my gigantic nose?”  
“Well yes,” she laughed. “But also, I’m coming with you. I’m going to see your apartment.”  
“There’s literally nothing to see,” he told her as they walked towards their building.  
“Nonsense,” she said. “Don’t be modest.”  
When they did make it back to his apartment, she frowned. “Oh. You really have nothing in this place.”  
“I told you,” he said, moving to fill a pot with water. He set it on the stove and grabbed a tea bag at random from a paper bag. Breakbot had given him a bunch at the shop. It came out blackberry vanilla.  
“You know, I’m pretty sure Gaspard and Xavier wound up with some extra furniture,” Uffie said, leaning against the wall. “After their old roommate moved out.”  
“What about Kavinsky?” Sebastian asked, searching in the many cabinets and drawers for mugs. “Is he using it?”  
She shook her head. “No…no Kavinsky won’t use Seb’s stuff.”  
Sebastian stared at her. “Seb?”  
“Oh! Sorry, not you,” she smiled and waved her hand. “I meant Sébastien Tellier. He moved out like two months ago. Kind of ran for the hills actually. They think he eloped with some supermodel. Or maybe it was an actress…either way she was hot.”  
“So he left all his stuff?” Sebastian asked.  
“Well there’s a couch,” she said. “Maybe a mattress, but I wouldn’t take that…”  
Sebastian pulled out a mug with cat ears and a tail for a handle, which he passed to Uffie. “Don’t start,” he said. “My mother left it for me.”  
She covered her smile. “It’s cute. In a, maybe I’ll kill you, kind of a way.”  
“That’s my specialty,” he said, taking the tall glass with the logo for his school.  
They sat down on the floor together, leaning against the wall. “So, tell me about yourself. Who’s the real Sebastian?” She sipped from the cat.  
He stared into the steam. “I have a problem with cigarettes.”  
“Join the club,” she said. “Next point.”  
“I’m actually a circus performer,” he went on, not smiling. “I work with animals, but I prefer the trapeze.”  
“Well you’ll love it here,” she said. “Everyone’s fucking nuts so you’ll fit in just right. What was it? Ringling Brothers? Barnum and ey?”  
“Oh no, much sketchier than that. We traveled around in trailers with free candy written across them. You know, like professionals. Lots of kidnapping.”  
Uffie laughed at him. “You should spend more time with Kavinsky. You two would get along.”  
“I don’t know,” Sebastian said, putting the glass to his lips. He didn’t know what to think of Kavinsky yet. “He seems particularly insane.”  
“Oh he is,” she said with a smile. “But the best kind of insane. Besides, it looks like he’s going to be in town for a while so that means he’ll be around the shop a lot. Might as well get to know him. Oh, and Guy-Man and Thomas are coming in for brunch tomorrow, you should be there for that.”  
“Who’re they?” Sebastian asked.  
“They own Daft Records next to the shop. Pedro and So Me have known them forever. They’re like…everyone’s uncles. They’re cool.”  
Sebastian nodded. “I think I’ll pass.”  
“It’s Sunday brunch,” Uffie said, leaning closer. “You don’t just pass on Sunday brunch. Gaspard makes French toast. It’ll make you want to die. And now that the temperature is below 70 I’ll be making my super secret homemade hot chocolate. There’s going to be a dance party in your mouth, basically.”  
She shrugged matter-of-factly and sipped her tea. Sebastian tried not to laugh but it didn’t work. Soon they were both laughing. She reached over and grabbed his shoulder to keep herself steady. It startled him. He reached for a cigarette out of habit and she reached for his pack.  
“Gimme gimme,” she grabbed at it but he held it out of her reach. “Oh you little bitch.”  
Uffie punched him on the arm. So he offered her a cigarette. Smoking with someone else wasn’t so bad. Not when he stopped thinking. 

When Sebastian woke up the next day, it was yet again to a phone call. This time from Xavier.  
“Uffie says you’re too good for our brunch. Well we don’t need you either,” he said into the phone. “Feel free to stay and sulk wherever you live.”  
The phone was transferred to someone else. “He’s joking,” Gaspard reassured him. “We want you to come down. French toast is coming soon. You should really get here.”  
Sebastian thought about a room full of people talking around him, not with him. He thought about being the new kid, the quiet kid. Then he thought about French toast. And Gaspard, his old friend. And Uffie, a new friend.  
And French toast.  
“Yeah okay I’m coming,” he said.

When he got to the shop, there was a big fat closed sign on the door. And yet, the place was full of people. He stepped inside and everyone turned to him and cheered.  
“HEY! NEW GUY!”  
It was tempting to turn right around and run. But then Uffie was there, directing him to the counter. Feadz and Xavier and Kavinsky were sitting on it.  
“And he’s here!” Feadz said and tossed his hat into the air. It fell unceremoniously behind the counter.  
“So what’s this I hear about the best French toast ever?”  
That’s when Gaspard popped his head through the doorway. “It’s back here. Want to lend me a hand?” He held an apron in his hand and smiled.  
Sebastian let out a sigh, but he took the apron, muttering, “It’s supposed to be my day off.”  
Gaspard opened the door for him. They started dipping their cinnamon swirl bread into some batter and laying it onto a griddle. It sizzled pleasantly and Sebastian took a deep breath.  
“Remember when you used to make me pancakes?” Sebastian asked.  
“Remember when you used to show up at my dorm with a hangover?” Gaspard returned with a smile. He threw an arm around Sebastian’s shoulder. “I missed you, Seb.”  
Sebastian let himself smile. “God, when you graduated…” he shook his head. “No one could put up with me.”  
“I’m sorry,” Gaspard started flipping bread. “If it’s any consolation, you were my favorite kid at that school.”  
“You’re only saying that because Xavier didn’t go to the same school.”  
“Yeah, well,” Gaspard poked him with the spatula. “Its probably for the best. He wouldn’t have let me make friends. Now take these out.”  
Sebastian took the first batch of French toast out into the coffee shop. Everyone lined up and took paper plates and plastic utensils. Sebastian handed out two pieces at a time. He saw the guys from the night crew, all of them looking exhausted, but grateful to see the food. There were also the guys from the pizza place, Sonny and the others. They smiled at him and went for high fives. When the first batch was out, he retreated to the kitchen to help Gaspard make more batter. It took about a half an hour to get everyone served.  
“Who are all these people?” Sebastian asked when he had finally been allowed food and a place to sit. He was crammed onto a couch with Uffie and Breakbot on either side and Kavinsky next to Uffie.  
“It’s basically a block party,” Pedro said from across them. He was sitting next to So Me and two guys Sebastian had never seen, and then Franck. “By the way, this is Guy-Man and Thomas. They’re friends.”  
“Hey there,” one of them said and shook Sebastian’s hand. “Welcome to the block. I’m Thomas. This is my associate, Guy-Man.”  
Guy-Man nodded at him.  
“Nice to meet you,” Sebastian said.  
“This food fucking rules!” A large bald Swede shouted from the other side of the room. He appeared to have a nearly identical twin that was smiling like a crazy person. Everyone cheered at the guy’s words.  
“You know what we need?” Franck, the quiet bookstore clerk leaned a little closer. “Some hot chocolate. How about it, Uffie?”  
Uffie winked at him and jumped up, smoothing her skirt down. “Well. Duty calls. No one is allowed behind the counter for the next couple of minutes unless they want to get scalding water on their junk.”  
“You’re words fill me with fear and enthusiasm, as usual,” Breakbot said as she left.  
With Uffie gone, Kavinsky sort of slid over into Sebastian’s side. “Hey,” he said.  
“Hey,” Sebastian said back.  
Kavinsky smiled at him, and Sebastian saw the dark circles under his eyes, probably from drinking with Xavier the night before.  
“How you doing?” Kavinsky asked. “I see Uffie’s got her claws in you.”  
Sebastian shrugged. “There could be worse people to do that.”  
Kavinsky smiled. “Good answer. She’ll be good to you.” Then he put his arm around Sebastian’s shoulder, whispering. “Just don’t get her drunk. Uffie’s a mean drunk. I’ve seen it with my own two eyes.”  
Breakbot’s eyes went wide and he got this distant look. “One time…she actually took on three guys in a fight…and she won.”  
“Three?” Kavinsky asked. “That’s my girl!”  
“Why was she fighting three guys?” Sebastian asked, glancing over at Uffie behind the counter. She was humming to herself.  
“They told her she was pretty,” Breakbot said. Then he turned to Sebastian. “Don’t tell her she’s pretty. She doesn’t like that word.”  
Sebastian nodded, taking mental notes.  
Gaspard came up behind Pedro and leaned on the back of his chair. “How is it?”  
“Awesome as always.”  
“Thanks, Seb,” Gaspard said.  
“Hey Seb!” Uffie was calling.  
“Yo Seb,” Kavinsky said as soon as Sebastian had stood up.  
Sebastian turned to Kavinsky first. “Yeah?”  
“We should go out sometime,” Kavinsky looked excited.  
“Or not,” Pedro cut in, putting his hands on Sebastian’s shoulders. “Come on, Kavinsky the guy just got here. Let him adjust before you get him arrested.”  
Kavinsky had the gall to look offended. “I would never.”  
“And now we’re pretending last Christmas didn’t happen?” Pedro asked. “Nice try. Sebastian, you should go help Uffie.”  
Pedro pushed him along. Sebastian couldn’t deny his curiosity about Kavinsky but perhaps taking his time would be best with this. Uffie waited for him by the coffee counter. She waved at him.  
“Close your eyes,” she warned. “No one can see the secret ingredients.”  
Sighing, he closed his eyes. Then Uffie clapped a hand over his eyes, adding, “No peeking.” She steered him through the back, over to the front counter. Then she uncovered his eyes. He was by the cash register again.  
“Stand here and pour,” she instructed, handing him a thermos. “Cups are here. And don’t look at me. I need to make more.”  
He nodded and took his pitcher, distributing hot chocolate to everyone. Xavier was one of the first in line.  
“Shouldn’t you be doing this?” Sebastian asked. “You’re the server.”  
“It’s my day off,” Xavier mumbled. “Plus I hate everyone.”  
Then he shuffled off with his cup of cocoa. Sebastian didn’t bother to point out that it was everyone’s day off. When Kavinsky held his cup up, Sebastian tried not to smile.  
“You sure you need a cup? I could just pour it on your face.”  
Kavinsky grinned. “However you want to play it.”  
Sebastian took the cup from him and filled it up. “So Uffie mentioned that Xavier and Gaspard might have extra furniture. Know anything about that?”  
Kavinsky nodded solemnly. “Oh yeah. That stuff needs to get out of there. Xav! Can Seb here have the old furniture?”  
Xavier shrugged. “Whatever, as long as its gone.”  
“Well then its settled.” He leaned on the counter. “You should come on up sometime soon. Check out the furniture. And other things.” His eyebrows were doing strange things, possibly trying to flee from his forehead.  
“I don’t know if you’re trying to pick me up or if you’re just being an ass,” Sebastian said and handed the cocoa to him.  
Kavinsky burst out laughing. “I like you. Better than the last Seb we had.”  
And then he left. Sebastian stared after him for a minute, so long that a guy covered in tattoos and wearing a baseball cap snapped at him. “Hey. We need some cocoa over here.”  
Sebastian shook his head and kept on pouring. 

After brunch had finished, the coffee cats day crew were left to clean up, but since Sebastian had played the server, he got to sit out. He was left on the couch with Franck.  
“So…uh, how are you?” Franck asked, turning slightly towards Sebastian.  
“Fine,” Sebastian said. “You?”  
Franck nodded. “Yeah…fine. Yeah I’m fine. Uhm…do you like working here?”  
Sebastian looked over the store again. Some of them were wiping down the tables and chairs. Others were behind the display putting extra napkins and utensils away. There was a guy Sebastian had never seen before was going over every speck of the floor with a mop. He accidentally made eye contact with Uffie who winked at him.  
“Maybe,” Sebastian said. “Still figuring that out.”  
Franck smiled. “I’ve been at the bookstore for three years and I think I only just realized how much I love it.”  
“Three years? God that’s a long time,” Sebastian said.  
Franck shrugged. “I got the job when I came here for school. Just kind of made sense. Pedro’s a great boss.”  
“Wait, Pedro’s your boss?” Sebastian asked.  
Franck nodded. “He and Bertrand own the bookstore too.”  
“Didn’t know that…” Sebastian said.  
“Well, I can assure you that Pedro and Bertrand are good owners. They’ll help you with pretty much anything you need. Don’t be afraid to ask. I know it can be intimidating.”  
Sebastian gave him a small smile. “Thanks.”  
Franck nodded. “Well, I should go. But you should know that I can also help you. And if you’ve met Sonny, he works part time at the bookstore with me. He’s a good kid.”  
“Yeah, sounds good,” Sebastian said as Franck stood up. He hedged a moment before awkwardly extending his hand to him. Sebastian laughed at him but shook his hand anyway.

After clean up, Sebastian found himself being led by Gaspard up into the apartment. They went down the alley behind the building. There was a staircase leading up to a porch that ran the length of both the coffee and bookstore. Gaspard unlocked the one above the coffee shop and pushed open the door.  
“We just kind of shoved all the furniture into the living room because we didn’t know what to do with it.”  
Sebastian was led through a hallway, which opened into a living room and kitchen. Maybe. It was hard to tell due to the fact that there was a couch in front of the oven and two chairs stacked one on top of the other next to the TV. A mattress was underneath another couch, facing the TV.  
“You, uh, really got creative with space,” Sebastian said.  
Xavier gave him a deadpan stare from the kitchen. “It’s a new style. It’s called fuck you shui.”  
Gaspard put a protective arm around Sebastian. “He’s here for the furniture. He’s doing us a favor.”  
“Uh huh,” Xavier said. “Kav! You’re boyfriend’s here. Help him get this shit out of the room.”  
A door at the end of the hall opened and Kavinsky slid across the hardwood floor in his socks. “Awesome.”  
The three of them began hauling the couch out of the apartment and onto the porch. Xavier watched and provided helpful advice.  
“Kavinsky, put shoes on, you look ridiculous.”  
“Shoes are just…” he took a breath and tried to get a better grip on the end of the couch. “Fuck it, I don’t have a come back. Jesus this is heavy.”  
It was like Tetris trying to get all the stuff out of the apartment. They also got the things he didn’t want, to drive it out to a good will shop. But not the mattress. They left the mattress on the porch, for Kavinsky.  
“I have plans for that,” he said, glaring at the mattress from the bottom of the steps.  
“You’re just going to rip it up and leave a mess, aren’t you?” Xavier asked.  
Kavinsky frowned at him. “Maybe.”  
Xavier touched Kavinsky’s back. “There, there.”  
They loaded their things into Pedro’s truck, which he was letting them borrow.  
“Why don’t you ever let us take the Testa?” Gaspard asked from the driver’s seat, looking at Kavinsky.  
He pointed at Gaspard. “No one is allowed in that car except me.”  
“Not even your childhood friends?” Xavier asked. “Who took you in off the streets and gave you a home and helped you find a job and cleaned the vomit off your face? On multiple occasions? We can’t drive your stupid car?”  
Kavinsky shook his head. “No. Especially not you. You don’t understand how beautiful it is.”  
Gaspard pulled the truck onto the street in front of the apartment building. Uffie was there to hold the door while the boys hauled Sebastian’s stuff in. She eyed the couch suspiciously.  
“You sure you’re going to be able to fit that into your shoe box?”  
“Well, if it doesn’t, then we’re throwing it down the stairs,” Kavinsky offered with smile.  
She patted his shoulder. “Whatever you say, dear.”  
After much shoving and twisting, the couch, one of the armchairs and a small table had been fit into the space. The couch was bright lipstick red, and the armchair a glorious floral pattern that looked like it was popular in the 50’s.  
“Well, Grandma,” Uffie said, leaning an arm on Sebastian’s shoulder. “How about you put some tea on and we watch some Days of our Lives?”  
“Fine but you should rub my arthritic feet.”  
“Not on your life,” she said, taking a seat on the couch.  
“It’s a very serious problem, Uffie,” Sebastian said loudly from the kitchen. “My feet could fall off at any moment.”  
Kavinsky leaned against the wall. “You know I think I’ve heard of that. It’s like super arthritis. If you don’t get constant attention you could be left without any limbs.”  
“Well since you feel so bad, you can do it,” she said, smiling.  
“We have to head out, Kav you okay to walk home?” Gaspard asked.  
“I love a bit of walking,” Kavinsky said. “I’ll see you guys later.”  
Then he flopped down next to Uffie. “Garçon! I would like some coffee and cake!”  
Sebastian lit a cigarette and started filling a pot full of water. “It’s tea or go home.”  
Kavinksy nodded. “I can do tea.”  
Uffie lifted her hands up and made a box with her fingers, closing one eye as if she were going to take a picture. “If we just put an apron on him he’d be cute as a button.”  
“He can be our house wife,” Kavinksy said, leaning his head on her shoulder to look at him.  
“Or our puppy,” she said. “Our adorable, tea making, chain smoking, puppy.”  
Sebastian turned and smoldered at them both. Uffie and Kavinsky reflexively jerked back.  
“Jesus,” Uffie said and fanned herself. “Boy, you got a hell of a face.”  
“You should take him to work with you,” Kavinsky said.  
He narrowed his eyes. “Am I being made fun of? Because I will throw this tea out.”  
“No, baby,” Uffie smiled. “You’re fucking gorgeous is what we’re saying. You can’t always see it, but when it hits you.”  
Kav and Uffie looked at each other. Kavinsky pulled on his collar and Uffie pretended to swoon.  
Sebastian turned away, still not certain that they weren’t making fun of him. He poured out three glasses of tea. This time it was half apple cinnamon, half French vanilla, because he only had one of each flavor.  
The couch had two cushions, but one of them was twice as long. So he sat on Uffie’s other side and put his legs over her lap, handing the two of them their tea.  
She smiled at him dangerously. “If you were anyone else, you’d have tea on your legs.”  
“Yeah, but I’m not,” he said and offered her a cigarette. They both took one from him.  
“This is probably the tamest evening I’ve ever had,” Kavinsky said as he sipped from a mug with the words Need a Lift? Call 1-WeTow-4-Free.  
“Sorry to disappoint,” Sebastian said.  
“No, no,” he said quickly. “It’s interesting…just weird, you know? It’s like sundown and I’m sober.” He shivered. “What happens at 6 to normal people?”  
Uffie smiled. “It’s due to start raining frogs at any moment.”  
“After that is when the unicorns show up,” Sebastian said. “And then someone rubs my feet.”  
“Oh my God,” Uffie rolled her eyes and passed him her tea. “You should know I don’t do this for many people. Or anyone. Ever.” She grabbed his right foot. Sebastian tensed.  
Kavinksy pointed at her with a mug. “You’re a little liar,” he said. “I’ve seen you do this.”  
“With who?” she asked.  
“I don’t know,” he said. “Some vaguely Asian man with beautiful hair.”  
She narrowed her eyes, trying to remember. “I was probably drunk.”  
“Well I was definitely drunk,” Kavinsky added.  
“I was joking,” Sebastian said, trying to pull his foot away.  
She raised her eyebrow. And then she grinned. “Oh shit you’re ticklish.” She made to grab his foot again, but he shouted. “Don’t move!”  
Everyone froze up, staring at him. He raised the two mugs he had in the air.  
“Nobody touches my feet, or tea goes everywhere. Is that clear?”  
Uffie nodded. Sebastian looked at Kavinsky. “You too.”  
Kavinsky nodded too. “I got it. Just put the tea down.”  
Slowly, he passed Uffie her tea again. She quickly took a sip to hide her grin as Sebastian shoved his feet between the couch cushions.  
“Can’t believe you’re ticklish,” she muttered.  
“I can’t believe you gave someone a drunken foot massage,” he added.  
She shrugged. “Fair’s fair.”  
They turned to Kavinksy who had a dewey look in his eyes. “Look at you two. Like peas in a pod. I swear this is the beginning of a beautiful romance.”  
Uffie tipped her head back and laughed. “HAH. You two would get together long before Seb and I would. Besides,” she reached up and patted Sebastian’s cheek. “We’re too busy being best friends to be more than that.”  
“When did this whole best friend thing happen?” Sebastian asked. “I’ve only been here a week, I don’t think I qualify for that.”  
Uffie smiled at him again, but there was no snark behind it. “Don’t sell yourself short. I like you. Or I will like you once you get a TV in here. Until then, arrive derci bitches. I’m going to a party. Thanks for the tea.”  
She stood up and kissed Sebastian on the cheek. “I’ll leave you two to chat.”  
“Wait, I like parties,” Kavinsky said.  
Uffie set her mug on the counter. “I think you should continue to experience the wonders of sobriety for an evening. Besides your job starts tomorrow. You don’t want to be a mess for Jon.”  
She turned and waved. “Goodbye, boys. Kav, play nice. We like this one.”  
   
4 OR WHATEVER

The room had suddenly shrunk without Uffie sitting between them. Sebastian pulled his knees to his chest.  
“So,” Kavinsky said and put his mug on the table. “Wanna get drunk?”  
Sebastian had to laugh. “You’re joking right?”  
He smiled. “Only if you have something better to do.”  
“What I have,” Sebastian said. “Is work at 5 in the morning. So no, I won’t be getting drunk tonight.”  
“Ah, come on, I was joking,” Kavinsky said and grinned at him. “I would never do that before we both had work. That would be irresponsible.”  
“Uh huh,” Sebastian stood up, not knowing what to do with himself. He took his glass to the sink and realized he wasn’t sure why he’d stood up at all. But having made this bed, he had to lie in it, and so he dumped the rest of the tea down the sink. When he turned around, Kavinsky was leaning against the half wall that separated the kitchen from the rest of the apartment.  
“So you were at college with Gaspard,” he said.  
Sebastian nodded. “I was a freshman when he was a junior.”  
“So you’re…” Kavinsky counted off on his fingers. “Two years younger than him?”  
“Two and a half,” Sebastian said.  
Kavinsky made a face. “Oh. Young.”  
“Why does it matter?” he asked quickly.  
“Nothing,” Kavinsky held up his hands. “Nothing at all. Why’d you move here?”  
Sebastian leaned against the counter, wishing he had the glass back. “I graduated college with a thesis on totalitarian and fascist governmental systems and absolutely no job offers. You?”  
Kavinksy nodded, kind of shaking his head. “You’re smart too. Damn.”  
Sebastian glared at him. “Did you just come to mooch off Gaspard and Xavier?”  
A wayward smile crossed his lips. “The offer for the room came at a good time. Which is to say that there was any offer at all.”  
“So you were actually homeless?” Sebastian asked.  
“No no,” Kavinsky quickly corrected him, pointing his cigarette at him. “Never homeless. Not so long as I have the testa. But some people don’t consider a car a proper living space.”  
“Yeah, no one but homeless people,” Sebastian said, laughing.  
Kavinsky tried not to smile back. He shook his head and hopped onto the half wall, so his legs hung over the other side. Sebastian watched him carefully. He’d been in this exact situation before. Two people, alone in a room. One slowly finds nonchalant reasons to get closer. Never make too many movements at once so you don’t seem deliberate. But he was always on the other side of it.  
It was weird, so he decided to speed things up. But as he walked over, all he could bring himself to do was lean on the wall next to Kavinsky.  
“How’d you end up living in a car?” Sebastian asked.  
“That’s a long and tragic tale,” Kavinsky said. “You haven’t earned that one yet. You should tell me more about college. Sounds like fun, I really missed out. Are most universities down the road from all girl’s schools, or just yours?”  
Sebastian placed his cigarette in the ashtray he’d left on the wall, then perched next to Kavinsky. “I don’t know the ratio of all girl’s schools to co-ed ones off the top of my head, but I’m sure you could look it up.”  
“Why would I look things up when I have a smart guy like you to fact check for me? God, I bet you know all kinds of stuff.” Kavinsky leaned closer and then tapped his head against Sebastian’s “I can practically see all of the useless knowledge stuffed inside there.”  
“Useless?” Sebastian repeated, trying to ignore the sudden closeness. “And I suppose living in a car has made you much wiser than my cheap little degree could.”  
Kavinsky thought on that for a moment before answering, “Yeah pretty much.”  
“I’m just…baffled. So I threw away all that money on nothing? Is that what you’re saying?”  
“You said yourself no one wants to hire you,” Kavinsky said with a smile. “I mean, college has its place and its meaning, but I would safely say that I’ve learned more about the world by living in it than you did by studying it.”  
Sebastian stared at him. This was not the way he’d envisioned this going. And Kavinsky was not turning out to be the person he’d been promised. There was a person developing in Sebastian’s mind. A man with a borrowed cigarette in a David Bowie tee shirt, with more in his head than he could possibly stand.  
“You must be lonely,” Sebastian said without really realizing he had said anything at all.  
Kavinsky looked surprised. “Lonely? You’re kidding. I got more friends than a guy knows what to do with.” But his voice lacked the same enthusiasm. He smiled kindly at Sebastian and then hopped off the wall.  
“I should probably head back. Xav will worry about me.”  
“Somehow I doubt that,” Sebastian said quietly.  
Kavinsky laughed. “Yeah, well, a guy can dream. Listen, I’ll see you around, okay? Tell Gaspard to make more of my cake.”  
“Got it,” Sebastian said.  
“Ah, uh,” Kavinsky stood for a minute, looking off at the wall. “Shit I was going to try to make this less awkward but now I can’t.”  
Sebastian laughed. “Well I appreciate the effort anyway.”  
Kavinksy was still standing there. “I guess…I’m going to leave now…”  
“You’re only making it worse,” Sebastian said and watched as he took a few dramatic steps towards the door.  
“And I’ll probably be by Coffee Cats tomorrow,” Kavinsky said. “So this isn’t important at all.”  
“Honestly I don’t know why you haven’t left yet,” Sebastian offered.  
Kavinsky was at the door now, with a hand on the doorknob. He stared at it for a while, maybe thinking hard about something, maybe just zoning out, and then he turned to look at Sebastian again.  
“You should let me take you out next time,” Kavinsky said.  
“Looking forward to it,” Sebastian said. “Now this is your 3rd attempt to leave, you should probably see it through.”  
Kavinsky nodded and smiled and opened the door. “Later, Seb.”  
When the door shut, Sebastian let out a long breath and leaned against the wall, feeling like a rubber band had snapped off his chest. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. 

Kavinsky did not make it to Coffee Cats the next day. Or the day after. Sebastian knew because he kept finding dumb reasons to go out into the front of the shop. After taking his third cigarette break in one day, Uffie laughed at him.  
“Boy got it bad,” she smiled to herself.  
“Don’t you start with me,” he pointed at her.  
She shook her head. “I didn’t say anything.”  
He tried not to let it bother him, but he wanted to see Kavinsky again. He wanted to figure out what the hell was going on in his brain.  
By the time Thursday came around he was starting to be okay with maybe giving up hope. After work, he stepped into the bookshop, having come to the decision that he’d reread all his books multiple times and maybe it was time he got a new one.  
Sonny was behind the counter. He waved at Sebastian and raised his hands up like he wanted a high five.  
“Uh, need something?” Sebastian asked.  
“Oh,” Sonny said. “You don’t know the handshake. Only Kavinsky can teach it, so I won’t do it…”  
“Look I just want a book,” Sebastian said.  
Sonny smiled. “Well we have a lot of those. So you’re in the right place. You want some comics? I could hook you up.”  
“Not particularly…”  
“Sonny?” Franck appeared then, smiling. “Oh. Hey Sebastian. Sonny, some of your friends are in the back. I think they’re putting 50 Shades of Grey in the kid’s section again. Do you mind?”  
Sonny laughed and rubbed his forehead. “I got it Franck. Sorry about them.” He stepped out from behind the counter and then put his hands to his mouth. “DILLON! JAKE! I’m going to KILL you!”  
Franck made a face. “Sorry about that…So are you looking for a book?” Then he kind of startled. “Of course you’re looking for a book, you’re in a bookstore. Unless you’re not looking for a book…”  
Sebastian shook his head. “No, I want a book.”  
“Okay,” Franck looked relieved. “Well, what kind of book?”  
Sebastian put his hands into his pockets. “Honestly, I’m not sure. You can only read De Sade so many times before you have to change things up.”  
“De Sade?” Franck asked. “That’s some heavy reading.”  
Sebastian shrugged. “Its fascinating.”  
“Well…” Franck looked around the shop from behind the counter. He tapped his lip. “I could go a lot of places from there.”  
“I got time,” Sebastian said.  
Franck smiled and stepped around the counter, gesturing for Sebastian to follow him. They headed for the classics section.  
“Have you read any Bukowski?” Franck asked.  
Sebastian’s eyes narrowed. “I’ve thought about it a couple times…”  
Franck handed him a copy of Pulp and began talking to him about the writing style and how great it was. Bukowski lead to talk of Howl and then Jack Kerouac. The sun had almost crept behind a building by the time they got to Hunter S. Thompson.  
“Have you seen the movie adaptation of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas?” Franck asked.  
Sebastian shook his head.  
Franck’s eyes lit up. “Oh, it’s great. Absolutely crazy, but great. I could lend it to you, if you wanted. Seems like something you might enjoy.”  
“I don’t have a TV,” Sebastian said.  
“Oh,” Franck looked at his feet. “Well, I have a TV. And the movie. If you’re ever exceedingly bored sometime.”  
Sebastian laughed a little. “I’ll keep that in mind. But for now, I think the book is fine.”  
He left the store with a copy of Pulp and feeling strangely alright. Sonny waved at him on his way out.  
“Hey! Come back to Joel’s sometime,” he said. “Joel’s not much of a people person, but Dill and Jake and I love people.”  
Sebastian nodded. “Thanks for the offer.”  
With that, he headed out, and ran right into Pedro, Xavier and Guy-Man.  
“Sebastian! Where are you headed?” Pedro asked, looking delighted.  
“Well I was just—” he gestured in the general direction of his apartment.  
“Great,” Pedro threw his arm around Sebastian’s shoulder. “Why don’t you join us? You’d be perfect.”  
“What are you doing?” Sebastian asked as Pedro led him away. “This seems suspicious.”  
Xavier was drinking another large coffee. “We’re going to glare at the other coffee shop.”  
“Really?” Sebastian asked. “Pedro…you seem better than that.”  
Pedro shook his head. “No, no, I won’t be glaring at all. I have no qualms with Bob. I just happen to like to stand across the street from them with my very angry looking friends.”  
“So you just want me here because I look angry,” Sebastian said.  
“I never said that,” Pedro squeezed his shoulders. “You’re lovely. You’re great.”  
“And you look pissed 90 percent of the time,” Xavier told him. “Just own it.”  
Sebastian shrugged. “Alright, where is this place? Why do you hate it?”  
“No, no. I don’t hate anything,” Pedro said. They stopped walking about a block and a half away. He pointed at a place called The Bloody Bakery. It had a black and white front with jagged lettering over the door. It seemed to be full of people.  
“It’s just so…I mean, who really wants Halloween all year round? It takes the magic out of the actual day.”  
“It’s not even Halloween themed,” Xavier pointed at it. “It’s just…chaotic.”  
“It’s ridiculous,” Pedro said. “People come to coffee shops and bakeries for warmth…and love…and people who don’t scream.”  
“But your only server hates everyone,” Sebastian said.  
“Hey,” Xavier pointed at him. “Not everyone. Just mostly everyone.”  
Pedro sighed. “I just don’t get why everyone likes it so much.”  
“Why don’t you just go in and spy on them?” Sebastian offered.  
Pedro was already shaking his head. “He knows us all. He wouldn’t let us.”  
“Well he doesn’t know me,” Sebastian said.  
Pedro’s eyes lit up. “My little spy. Go in there and order something really pretentious. Get the most complicated thing. Oh it’ll be great. Like Zorro leaving his mark”  
“I’m on it, boss,” he said and took a step away.  
Guy-Man saluted him. 

The Bloody Bakery was filled with people. Sebastian approached the counter with caution, partly because the menu was like nothing he’d ever seen. But mostly because the guy taking orders was wearing a mask.  
“Uh, can I have some Mother Fucking Hot Chocolate,” Sebastian asked.  
The guy nodded. “Anything else?”  
“And a couple of God Damn Rice Krispies,” he said and puled out his wallet.  
“Sounds good,” the guy said and then leaned into a microphone on the counter. He took a breath and then screamed into the mic, “ONE MOTHER FUCKING HOT CHOCOLATE AND SOME GOD DAMN RICE KRISPIES!” His voice boomed through the whole shop. Everyone in the shop started shouting and hooting in response.  
“That’s 6 bucks,” the guy said to Sebastian.  
Sebastian nodded, a little stunned. After paying, he stepped away from the counter to wait. His hearing was just starting to come back when he heard.  
“Yo seb!”  
Kavinsky was sitting at the table behind him. His feet were on the chair across from him, but he pulled them off and pushed the chair out.  
“What are you doing here? You have to be careful. If Pedro caught you in here—”  
Sebastian walked over to him, lowering his voice. “Actually, Pedro sent me here to spy. What about you, I thought Coffee Cats was your place.”  
Kavinsky leaned back. “I can’t be tied down.”  
Sebastian stared at him. Kavinsky sighed. “Okay, I’m hiding from Pedro.”  
“Hiding?”  
“I’ll tell you the story if you sit down,” Kavinsky said. “Come on. Take a load off. Have some Bitchin’ Chocolate Pudding.” He gestured to a dish of pudding in front of him.  
Sebastian looked out the window. He could see Pedro towering over Xavier and Guy-Man, waiting for him to come back.  
“They’re waiting for me,” he said.  
Kavinsky frowned. “Well…not that I don’t understand, but I’m still a little hurt.”  
“You’re the one who said you’d be at Coffee Cats,” Sebastian said. “It’s been a week.”  
Kavinsky’s frown deepened. “I’ve disappointed you. Let me make it up. Tomorrow night. We’ll go out, we’ll drink. It’ll be a hell of a time.”  
“ORDER UP!” a voice screamed over the intercom. “MOTHER FUCKING HOT CHOCOLATE!”  
“That’s me,” Sebastian said.  
“Say yes,” Kavinsky grabbed his arm. “It’ll be a night to remember.”  
“Fine,” Sebastian said, wanting desperately for him to let go of his arm, but feeling disappointed when he did. “But this better be amazing.”  
Kavinsky’s smile did not soothe his worries. “I promise.”  
When Sebastian picked up his order, the masked man held the bag up and said, “Give Pedro my love.”  
Sebastian nodded and returned to the others outside. He gave Pedro the bag. “He said he loves you.”  
“Damnit.” Pedro removed a Rice Krispy, which had been iced with a heart, and the words fuck you on it. With a defeated sigh, Pedro bit into it. “It’s good…as always…”  
They all stood on the street corner, eating the rice krispies and hating how good they tasted. Pedro finally finished his and tossed the bag into a trashcan.  
“Excuse me. I have to go home and cry.”  
Guy-Man reached up and patted his shoulders. Xavier shrugged his jacket tighter. “You’ll be fine.”  
Sebastian didn’t quite know how to handle the scene. “I’m sorry?”  
Pedro smiled and then pulled him into a hug. “I’m glad you work for us. Thanks for not leaving.”  
Then the three of them walked back home. Sebastian just kind of stood there, feeling oddly appreciated.  
5 IF YOU NEED TO KNOW 

The next day, Uffie cornered Sebastian in the bakery.  
“What are you doing tonight?” she asked.  
Sebastian shrank against the wall. “Nothing. What do you want?”  
“You’re lying,” she said with a grin. “You made plans tonight. With a certain someone who’s name starts with K and ends with ‘I’m an alcoholic’.”  
Sebastian glared at her. “What’s it to you?”  
She slipped her arm around his waist. “I’m coming over after work to hang out with you before your date.”  
“It’s not a god damn date,” he grumbled. “And I’m not 16. What are you going to do, paint my nails?”  
She gave a menacing laugh. “Oh, baby boy. Do you have any idea where he’s taking you? You’re going to need some help. I’ll be at your place at 5.”  
And with that, she returned to the coffee corner, where she threw in a dash of cinnamon into a steaming drink, looking perfectly innocent. She winked at him. When he turned around, Pedro was leaning in the doorway to his office.  
“Hey, come here a minute,” he said.  
Sebastian felt his stomach flip upside down. He liked Pedro, but he was still his boss.  
Pedro’s office was more like a living room. Xavier was in the corner, lying on a couch with his eyes closed. Bertrand was sitting at a small table, sketching something out. They both gave him languid waves.  
“Hey, sorry if I freaked you out,” Pedro said and sat down. “I wanted to give you your paycheck.”  
“Oh,” Sebastian felt relieved, but he didn’t sit down.  
Pedro handed him a small envelope. “You’re doing good. You seem to fit in. Don’t be afraid to start throwing some ideas around. We like to change things up a lot, so any input is welcome.”  
Sebastian nodded, not sure he was quite ready for that. But he liked the idea of being able to create new things for this place. He wanted to talk to Gaspard about it.  
“How ya doing?” Pedro asked.  
Sebastian took a breath. “Fine.”  
“Well, I also wanted to apologize to you about yesterday. That was probably weird.”  
“Oh you didn’t,” Bertrand spoke up, lifting his head. “Pedro, he’s only a boy. You can’t drag him into this ridiculous war.”  
Pedro sighed. “He just happened to be there. I’m sorry, Sebastian.”  
Sebastian shook his head. “I really don’t mind. If you need me to go over there again, just let me know.”  
Pedro smiled at him. “You’re good. I like you.”  
Bertrand raised an eyebrow. “Don’t feel obligated, Sebastian. We all know this vendetta of his is just silliness.”  
“I’m just waiting for you and Bob to make out already,” Xavier added without opening his eyes.  
Pedro shook his head. “You say that about everyone.”  
“And I’m always right,” Xavier said. He opened an eye to stare intensely at Sebastian. “Always.”  
Sebastian looked away. Pedro waved his hand at Xavier. “Go back to sleep.”  
Xavier rolled over.  
Pedro smiled at Sebastian. “Oh, listen, next week, Mickey is going out of town for a night or two. Do you mind covering night crew?”  
“Sure,” Sebastian said. “Do I have to do anything different?”  
“It should be the same,” Pedro said. “Right, Bertrand?”  
Bertrand lifted his head, eyes a little wide. And then he seemed to snap out of his day dream. “Yeah…exactly the same…” Then he lowered his head again.  
“Alright, you can get out of here,” Pedro told Sebastian.  
It was already four at that point, so he waited until five with Franck on the couch in the corner of the shop.  
“Pulp is great,” he said quietly.  
Franck beamed at him. The hour went by quickly. 

Uffie was practically skipping down the street to the apartment. “Oh I’m so jealous,” she was saying. “Maybe I should just come with you. No, no, I can’t interrupt. But I could go incognito and spy on you, to make sure it goes well. Or I could just give you a walkie-talkie or bug your clothes or something…but that could get awkward.”  
“What are you going on about?” Sebastian asked as he unlocked his apartment.  
Uffie clapped her hands. “Kav is taking you to Dada Land tonight. It’s his favorite.”  
Sebastian lay down on his couch and lit a cigarette. “That sounds like an amusement park.”  
“It is,” she said and sat down next to him. “Only instead of roller coasters, you drink until you pass out.”  
“Is Kavinsky actually an alcoholic? Because I can’t tell if people are joking anymore,” Sebastian said, putting his head in Uffie’s lap.  
She ran her hand through his hair. “I’ll be honest, Seb, I don’t actually know that much about him.”  
He took a breath and closed his eyes. “I’m tired. Maybe I shouldn’t go.”  
“You’re joking right?” she asked. “You’ve been waiting for this asshole to come and talk to you all week and now you’re going to back out?”  
He sighed again. “Maybe he’s more trouble than he’s worth.”  
“You got a story to tell me?” she asked.  
He shook his head.  
“Little liar,” she whispered and took a drag. “Well I’m here when you want to talk about it.”  
Sebastian felt the week of getting up at 4 in the morning starting to catch up with him. His feet ached and the exhaustion settled happily into his bones as he lay on the couch. Uffie continued to run her hand through his hair and he started to think about falling asleep. It occurred to him that he’d never done this with a friend. Never felt this relaxed.  
Then Uffie made a noise. “You’re like a little black cat,” she squealed. “I can’t take it.”  
“Call me an animal one more time and we’re through,” he said, taking a drag.  
“But baby,” she said. “We’re so good together.”  
He smiled through the smoke. “Maybe you’re the trouble maker.”  
“Oh, you’re much too in love with me to throw me out now,” she said smugly.  
He sat up then. “And who’s cigarette are you smoking? I think you’re here because you want to be.” He stood up then to rifle through his clothes. He needed something that didn’t have flour on it.  
Uffie sat there, looking at her cigarette with a small smile.  
“So what happens at this place?” Sebastian asked. “Is it a bar?”  
“It’s a very lovely bar,” she said.  
“What does that mean?” he asked. “Do they do something weird?”  
“Honey, their symbol is a banana, what do you think happens?”  
Sebastian palmed his forehead. “You’re fucking joking right? He’s taking me to gay bar?”  
Uffie burst out laughing and reached for his hand. “No no no, though I can understand why you’d think that. I’m sorry. No, bananas are from Dadaism. They’re Dadaists.”  
Sebastian took a deep breath. “Thank Christ.”  
Uffie continued laughing for another five minutes. “A gay bar! Hah!”  
Sebastian’s face was turning red, so he grabbed his clothes and went into the bathroom. He could hear her laughing through the walls. He emerged in much the same thing he was wearing before. Jeans and a black shirt.  
Uffie was leaning against the wall. She tilted her head to the side. “You just…don’t try at all, do you?”  
He took a breath. “I own two pairs of pants, Uffie, what do you want from me?”  
She sighed. “I swear I’m going to take you shopping with me one of these days.”  
“Like hell you are,” he said and went to make tea. He was fast becoming addicted to it.  
“So what do you do at a Dadaist bar?” he called.  
“Go crazy,” she said with a smile.  
“Not sure how I feel about that.”  
“With any luck,” she leaned on counter next to him. “Really really good. But you have to promise you’ll kick back and have fun.”  
“I’ll do my very best,” he said.  
They passed the time with Uffie explaining about Dada Land and it’s mysterious ways. It was only open on the weekends, unless there was a special event, which you almost never knew about until the day after. Unless, of course, you were lucky enough to get invited. She said it was a playground of booze and music and bodies. Didn’t matter who you were before you entered. While you were there, you were the same as everyone else. Which is to say that everyone there was looking for the same thing. A night without fear.  
When Kavinsky finally got there, he threw his hands up. “You coming too, Uff?”  
She gave him a smile. “Ooh you sure know how to tempt a girl.”  
“Come on,” he said. “It’ll be fun. Right, Seb?”  
Sebastian found himself nodding even though he was also vaguely disappointed. Uffie made him less nervous.  
“What’s playing?” she asked.  
Kavinksy shrugged. “No idea. Could be Gaspard for all I care.”  
She laughed. “Imagine that. Gaspard playing music in front of people.”  
They all laughed at the notion.  
“You know what, why not?”  
Sebastian started putting a jacket on and Kavinsky and Uffie both stared at him.  
“What?” he asked.  
Uffie just shook her head. Kavinsky walked over and started pulling the jacket off him.  
“Not gonna need that,” he said and tossed the jacket onto the ground. “Though it is very nice.”  
Sebastian frowned. “What if I’m cold on the way over?”  
“That’s what you got us for, right Uff?” And he threw his arm around Sebastian’s shoulders. Uffie winked at Sebastian before putting her arm around his waist.  
The place was located underneath a liquor store across the street from Coffee Cats. Sebastian recognized the place. It was noticeable for the fact that the liquor store appeared to have two entrances. There was a half staircase leading into the actual store, and then another set of steps leading below street level. Those steps were the entrance to Dada Land.  
Three guys about Sebastian’s age were standing around the doorway, checking ID’s and stamping hands. Kav, Seb and Uff quickly finished off their cigarettes before entering the place.  
It was like someone turned the museum of modern art into a nightclub. The walls were a never-ending collage of weird images and words. With an overwhelming theme of bananas throughout. Sebastian recognized the two giant bald Swedes behind the bar, pouring champagne all over their patrons, and shouting at the top of their lungs. But there was so much noise and music, he barely heard anyway.  
Kavinsky grabbed his shoulders. “Wait here!” and waded towards the bar.  
“How’s he going to find us?” Sebastian asked.  
Uffie leaned up to shout in his ear. “He always does.” She was pulling him forward, towards the mash of bodies that were attempting to dance. Then she stopped and shouted.  
“Steve!”  
A guy with long black hair emerged from the crowd and picked Uffie up at the waist.  
“My Uff! What are you up to?”  
“Steve, this is Sebastian, he works with me.” She pointed to Sebastian. “Sebastian, this is my Steve.” She pinched his cheek. Steve grinned.  
“Is he going to party with us?”  
Uffie whispered something in Steve’s ear.  
“Ahh, got it,” he said. Then he switched Uffie’s body to one arm and grabbed Sebastian’s shoulder with his other. “Good luck with him. He’s nuts.”  
Sebastian restrained himself from rolling his eyes. “Thanks…”  
Then Steve carried Uffie away over his shoulder, diving into the crowd. Sebastian was left alone, a crush of bodies around him. Something inside him began to fade away. There was nothing quite like the realization that you were alone amongst strangers who just didn’t care who you were. The music was some kind of electro swing with big swooping waves of noise that crashed into everyone and swept them along the current. Sebastian realized how this could be addicting. How someone could need this.  
He didn’t know how long he’d been there before Kavinsky found him again. It didn’t really matter. He had drinks with him. Alcohol flowed through them, twisting the room into something bright and new. Sebastian tried not to focus on anyone, tried to remain anonymous like before, but with Kavinsky at his side, it was hard not to just be the person with Kavinsky. He had that effect. It made everything difficult. Amped up his nerves until he felt like he was feeling the entire room. But mostly just the moments when Kavinsky brushed by him.  
Before long they had Uffie back at their side and things got easier. One of the Swedes had taken the stage and was guiding them with music like some kind of deranged conductor. Lights and sounds and tastes blurred until Uffie was shouting that she wanted caffeine and it was somehow the funniest thing Kavinsky had ever heard. He just kept laughing as they made their way back outside.  
The night air was a relief as Sebastian’s brain tried to catch up to him.  
“What the hell is that place?” he asked, pointing at the building.  
“Paradise,” Kavinsky said and put his arm back around him. He grabbed at Uffie with his other hand. “Where are your keys?”  
“Oh hush,” she said, reaching her hand into her bra. She produced two little keys. “Come on.”  
They crossed the street and she unlocked the door to Coffee Cats. They only turned on a few lights. Kavinsky collapsed onto a couch. He grabbed Sebastian’s arm and tried to pull him closer.  
“You want food?” Sebastian asked, not sure why he was trying to wedge a wall between them.  
“I want company,” Kavinsky said, smiling widely. “But yeah I also want food…”  
“Let me go,” Sebastian said quietly.  
Kavinsky released him with a sigh. “What are you making Uffie?”  
“Coffee,” she said. “Very strong coffee.”  
Sebastian stepped behind the counter. “You want something to eat.”  
“Oh, please,” she said. “My head’s going to fall off. Is there any pull apart bread left? I would die for it…”  
“I’ll see what I can do,” he said and went into the kitchen.  
The kitchen was where he wanted to be. It had become peaceful to him in the last two weeks. He turned the oven on, more for the heat than to actually use it. Going through the fridge, he found some dough and some frosting. So he washed his hands and set it on the counter to start breaking pieces off. He wondered for a brief second if it was okay to just take food from the shop, but his stomach was empty of anything except alcohol and he didn’t care.  
As he worked, he heard the door open, but he didn’t turn to look. He just let Kavinsky wander over to him. Suddenly, shaping this dough was the most important thing he had ever done. His entire being was focused on it, trying not to figure out what else was going on in the room.  
Kavinksy rested his chin on Sebastian’s head. “What are you making?”  
“Bread,” he said too quickly.  
“Aw, perfect,” he said. “Can I eat some dough?”  
He reached for a piece but Sebastian swatted his hand. “No.”  
Kavinsky huffed and leaned on the counter next to him. “You’re just like Gaspard. He never lets me eat dough either.”  
Sebastian lifted the tray up and stuck it into the oven. The wave of heat did nothing to soothe his nerves. Kavinsky jumped onto the counter and leaned against the cabinets. “I’m tired.”  
“Yeah, me too,” Sebastian said. He started wrapping the dough back up and putting it away.  
“Did you have fun?” Kavinsky asked. “Did I do good?”  
Sebastian returned to the frosting, avoiding his gaze. “Probably. I’ll know tomorrow.”  
He was scooping icing into a piping bag. Kavinsky reached for him again. “Give me some icing.”  
Sebastian tried to pull it away but that only really worked with Uffie. Kavinsky grabbed his arm and pulled him over. Sebastian aimed the icing at his face. Then he dabbed some on his nose.  
“Uffie thinks I have a gigantic nose,” Sebastian said. “I kind of think you have me beat.”  
“Uffie loves my nose,” Kavinsky said. “She wouldn’t say that lightly. No, I’d say you’d win that contest.”  
He tried to take Sebastian’s hand, but he splayed his fingers out. “I have icing hands.”  
Kavinksy gave him a look. “Well I have an icing nose. Seems an obvious solution.”  
He took Sebastian’s wrist and wiped his nose on his hand.  
“Gross,” Sebastian mumbled.  
Kavinksy smiled. “Oh did I offend you?”  
Then he leaned forward and pressed his nose to Sebastian’s forehead. He was trying to slide his nose over his face but he was laughing too hard and just wound up with his forehead leaning against Sebastian’s.  
“I like you,” Kavinsky said quietly. “Not quite sure why, but I do.”  
Sebastian took a deep breath. “How drunk are you?”  
Kavinsky laughed. “I kind of can’t tell anymore.”  
“Why do I feel like you’re going to disappoint me?” Sebastian asked, still not moving away.  
“Probably because you’re smart,” Kavinsky said and pulled away. He smiled again, but it was a little less bright. “How about that bread?”  
Sebastian shrugged. “It still has a couple minutes.”  
Kavinsky looked away, towards the doors. “Damn.” He hopped off the counter. “We should probably check on Uffie.”  
“Probably,” Sebastian said.  
Kavinsky let out a sigh and walked towards the doors into the front. Just as Sebastian started following him Kavinsky whirled around.  
“Okay, I am piss drunk right now, I won’t even deny it,” he said, talking fast. Then he grabbed Sebastian’s shoulders. “But you’re good. I like being near you. You’re…” He gestured vaguely towards him. “Good,” he ended lamely.  
Sebastian wanted to believe it, but he knew he couldn’t until the same things were said sober.  
“Appreciate it,” he said, spinning him around.  
They found Uffie curled up on the floor, nursing a mug of coffee. She threw her hand up towards the counter.  
“More up there.”  
They spent the next hour on the floor, sipping coffee and eating bread until they stopped wanting to pass out. Then, regular exhaustion set in and Uffie declared it bedtime.  
“Can we spend the night with you?” Uffie asked. “I don’t want to walk all the way home.”  
Kavinsky nodded. “Just be quiet. If we wake up Xavier, he’ll kill us all.”  
They all did a shit job of cleaning up and then stumbled up the stairs into the apartment. They crept through the hall, but found Gaspard sitting on the couch, with headphones plugged into a keyboard, lightly pressing on keys.  
He took the headphones off. “You need some pancakes?”  
Sebastian smiled. “I took care of it.”  
He returned the smile and put his headphones back on. They all entered Kavinsky’s room and Uffie peeled her shoes off and then collapsed into his bed. It was just a big mattress on the floor. She curled up on the end and then patted the spot next to her.  
“Sleepover. Seb goes in the middle.”  
Sebastian was just grateful to have a real bed for once. He climbed next to Uffie and closed his eyes. “So this is what its like to sleep in a bed.”  
“Drink it in,” Uffie said and reached over and patted his head. “Thanks for the bread, baby.”  
Then she promptly stole all the blankets. Kavinsky rolled his eyes. “She always does that.”  
“She come here a lot?” Sebastian asked.  
“Don’t be jealous now,” Kavinksy laughed and lay with his face in the pillow next to Sebastian.  
Sebastian slowly curled in on himself. The room was cold. He tried to close his eyes and focus on being tired. He thought about stealing blankets from Uffie. He just wound up on his side, facing away from Kavinsky, and counting sheep.  
Then, Kavinsky reached his arm around and wrapped it around Sebastian’s middle, putting his face against the back of his neck.  
“Just say you’re cold,” he whispered.  
Everything stopped. Sebastian still couldn’t sleep, but he didn’t mind so much anymore. It didn’t take long, maybe a few minutes, before Kavinsky had rearranged himself completely around Sebastian, like a blanket that smelled vaguely of champagne and warm bread.  
“I like you too,” Sebastian said to no one.  
 

6 I THINK

Sebastian was more than a little confused to wake up in a bed with someone. Uffie was curled up with a million blankets on her and Sebastian was freezing cold again. He turned over but Kavinsky wasn’t there. Instead, he was sitting against the wall, blowing smoke out the open window.  
“Hey,” he said quietly. “Gaspard made some food.”  
Sebastian nodded.  
“I have to get to work soon,” Kavinsky went on, looking at the ground. “You and Uff can get to where you’re going. Just wanted to let you know…”  
Sebastian nodded and lay back down. “Beds are nice.”  
Kavinsky laughed. Then he stood up and touched Sebastian’s arm. “Don’t let her steal the blankets like that. Too cold when you’re sleeping alone.”  
Sebastian tried to sit up, but Kavinsky pushed his shoulder. “Sleep a little longer.”  
“No, I feel weird, I’ll just—” Sebastian tried again but Kavinsky pushed him back.  
“Sleep. You look like you need it.” Then he rubbed his eyes and refocused on Sebastian. “I like you here. Just stay a while.”  
Kavinsky stepped out of the room, and Sebastian listened to his footsteps through the apartment. Its true he was still delirious with sleep, but he didn’t know what to think of that. Kavinsky came back into the room a few minutes later, and then spread an afghan over Sebastian.  
“Later, Seb,” he said and then left the apartment.  
With the added warmth, Sebastian fell back asleep quickly. The next time he opened his eyes it was because Uffie was shaking him up.  
“Hey,” she was saying. “Sleeping beauty. I have work.”  
“Work?” Sebastian croaked. Then he coughed into his sleeve. “Coffee Cats is closed.”  
“Not that,” she said. “Get up, walk me home.”  
It took him a few minutes to get his head back together. As he got his shoes on, Uffie was giving him a suspicious smile.  
“What now?” he asked.  
“You owe me some details,” she said, now grinning.  
Sebastian’s mind reeled. In an instant he was back in the kitchen and there was icing and Kavinsky and bread and mostly Kavinsky. But Uffie couldn’t know about that.  
“Dunno what you’re talking about,” he said and managed to stand up.  
She hooked her arm through his. “Uh, I’ll tell you.”  
And she proceeded to tell him. Tell him how she woke up in the middle of the night, having the feeling that if she didn’t pee in the next thirty seconds the world was going to end. So she threw off her blankets and felt around for the bathroom. But when she came back into the room, what she saw almost made her scream. Kavinsky had fitted himself against Seb’s back and their arms were tangled and they were both asleep. Uffie had done a little victory jig in the doorway. But then she was afraid to wake them, so she stood there for a while, watching them sleep, feeling strangely proud.  
“I couldn’t stand it,” she said as they walked down the street to the apartment building. “I was going to make Gaspard stare at you too, but he’d gone to bed.”  
Sebastian had stopped walking and pushed his hands through his hair. “I thought I dreamt that.”  
“No,” Uffie said gleefully. She grabbed his face. “Does this mean you guys are together? Are you keeping it a secret? Oh my god, this is awesome! Tell me everything!”  
Sebastian was shaking his head. Uffie crept up behind him. “It was just like this,” and she nuzzled her face to his neck, putting her arms around him. “I don’t know how he managed it what with the nose. I almost died.” Her legs went limp then and she just hung off him like a scarf.  
“I was just cold,” Sebastian managed to say. “You stole all the blankets.”  
She jumped up and he caught her instinctively in a piggyback hold. Then she leaned forward, tapping her lip with mock innocence. “It was kinda chilly, wasn’t it?”  
“You did that on purpose, you tramp,” he said, thinking about dropping her, but he marched on, carrying her on his back.  
She was laughing away like she had the world on a string. “Do you have a second date? Or are you just going to skip to the good part?”  
“Christ, get a grip,” he said. “We were drunk. It was cold. You were being a bitch.”  
“Ouch,” she pulled on his nose. “If anything, you owe me a thank you.”  
“What makes you think I even want this?” he asked.  
“Baby boy,” she said and put her cheek to his. “I know a single man when I see one, and from the looks of you, it’s been a while. I think you need this. And I think Kav is the perfect person to get it from.”  
Sebastian let out a long sigh. “Okay maybe it’s been a while.”  
“Knew it,” she sang. “You two will have your fun and it will be grand and then Kavinsky will roll on over to the next time like the traveling circus he is and then you and I will be best friends forever.”’  
They made it to the apartment building and Sebastian had to set Uffie down. As they waited for an elevator, something was bothering Sebastian. He put his hands in pockets, feeling the stark lack of jacket over his chest.  
“Do you think…he’s capable of more than just madness?” Sebastian asked. “Or is he just broken?”  
Uffie leaned forward to look at Sebastian’s face. “Honestly, he’s never been around long enough for me to see. Did he say something to you?”  
“Don’t worry about it,” Sebastian said. He stepped into an elevator and leaned against the back. Uffie stalked in after him.  
“You’re not telling me something,” she said, pointing.  
“Get over it, Miss Holmes.” He pushed both the buttons for their floors. “I’m not dumb enough to actually expect anything from someone like Kavinsky.”  
Uffie made a contemplative noise and stepped closer, examining him. He flicked her shoulder.  
“I’m fine,” he said.  
She wrapped her arm around his and leaned her head against his shoulder. “Don’t let him mess you up, okay? I like you too much.”  
Sebastian nodded. “Yes ma’am.”  
When the elevator opened onto her floor, she leaned up with a smile, but Sebastian was a little too tall.  
“Oh come here,” she said.  
He leaned down so she could kiss his forehead.  
“Thanks mum,” he said.  
“Bye,” she waved.

Sebastian spent the day rereading Pulp. And wondering how long Kavinsky would stay in town. And wondering how long he would be in town. His apartment suddenly started to feel cramped and he shoved his couch into the section of the room that was supposed to be for the bed. But he didn’t feel right, so he tried to push it back to where it was and gave up halfway through to just lay on the floor and stare at the ceiling.  
Three cigarettes and two cups of tea later, and he had curled up on the floor, wishing he had a bed instead of a couch. Or just someone to make the floor better.  
Before he knew it, it was the middle of the night. He thought about sleeping, but he’d already gotten this far, so he just kept on, alternating between reading and checking the internet for beds that wouldn’t cost him an arm and a leg. 

The next day, he rolled into Coffee Cats for Sunday brunch, sleepless and starving. He found Uffie behind the counter and put his arms around her shoulders, leaning his head on hers and closing his eyes.  
“I can’t sleep,” he said.  
She laughed and patted his arm. “Maybe because you’ve been smoking all night. Jesus, how many coats are you wearing?”  
“I smoke because I’m awake,” he said. “And I’m cold…”  
“You need some good music,” she told him. “Go to Daft Records. Have them pick something out for you.”  
He sighed into her hair. “Yeah I guess I could do that.”  
“You’re just sad because Kav didn’t call you back,” she teased.  
“And I’m done,” Sebastian let go of her and then just sank onto the floor. Before long, Gaspard knelt down in front of him and offered him a plate.  
“Made them special for you,” he said, pushing the plate closer.  
Sebastian’s stomach rattled. “Jesus.” He took the plate and wolfed the food down.  
“God, do you ever eat?” Uffie asked him.  
He shrugged. “I kind of keep forgetting to go food shopping.”  
The pancakes were gone and he set the plate down.  
Gaspard shook his head. “I swear, you need a nanny or something.”  
“I’m fine,” Sebastian said and waved his hand through the air. “You all worry too much.”  
“You sleeping okay?” Gaspard asked.  
“How can he?” Uffie said. “He doesn’t own a bed.”  
“You don’t own a bed?” Xavier was there now. “God you’re almost as bad as Kavinsky.”  
“My ears are burning!” Kavinsky himself appeared as if summoned and leaned on the counter. He spied Sebastian and frowned. “Is Seb sick?”  
“Seb is coming upstairs,” Gaspard declared. “He needs sleep.”  
“Oh I’ll take Seb,” Uffie clapped. “I have a nice bed.”  
“Seb is fine!” Sebastian grabbed his own head. “Seb just wants food and peace…”  
“Come on,” Gaspard lifted him up by the arm and steadied him. “You had your food, now its time to rest.”  
Sebastian sighed but Gaspard was the only person he felt like listening to. Xavier was staring after them with a weird look in his eye. Kavinsky frowned.  
“Get better,” he called.  
“Oh hush,” Uffie responded. Gaspard brought Sebastian back upstairs and Sebastian wanted to find Kavinsky’s room, but let Gaspard set him up in his room.  
“Where’s your phone?” Gaspard asked, sitting on the edge of the bed.  
Sebastian checked each of his pockets, finding the square in his back pocket. He held it up, but Gaspard snatched it out of his hands.  
“You get it back after you get some sleep,” he said. “Now relax.”  
Sebastian punched a pillow before resting his head. “Why do you worry so much?”  
Gaspard kind of smiled. “I have to worry about you, Seb, because you don’t.”  
Sebastian closed his eyes. “I’m sorry, Gaspard. At least I’m not hung-over, right?”  
Gaspard laughed and reached over to muss up his hair. “Yeah, this is much better. Food in the kitchen when you get up. I’m just going to stay here and make sure you get to sleep.”  
He shifted from the bed to the floor and pulled his keyboard closer, plugging headphones in.  
“You can play,” Sebastian told him. “I don’t mind.”  
Gaspard nodded and took the headphones out, playing music very quietly, lulling Sebastian back to sleep. When he did wake up, Gaspard was gone and his phone was on the floor. He stepped into the hall, and found Xavier sitting on the couch, staring intently at his computer. His gaze snapped up to Sebastian.  
“You were gone a while.”  
Sebastian shrugged. “Was I?”  
“Gaspard’s out,” he said. “If you were curious.”  
“Thanks…” Sebastian watched him for a minute. “Are you…do you have a problem with me?”  
Xavier shook his head. “Of course not. Now get out.” He pointed at the door with his cigarette.  
Sebastian left the apartment with Xavier’s knifepoint gaze on his back. Something was definitely wrong but he didn’t know what. He didn’t let it bother him; he just left, heading for Daft Records. When he stepped in, Pedro was leaning on the counter, talking to Thomas and Guy-Man.  
“Hey!” Pedro said.  
“Can we help you?” Thomas asked.  
Sebastian strolled through the aisle up to the front. “Just looking for new music. Uffie said you could help me out. I need something to help me sleep.”  
“Oh no,” Pedro said. “You can’t sleep? Is everything okay?”  
“I’ll be fine,” Sebastian said. “Thanks…” he added.  
Thomas was scratching his head. “Well…Guy, what do you think?”  
Guy-Man pointed to one section of the store.  
“Might be too repetitive,” Thomas countered.  
Guy shifted his hand to the left a little.  
“Ah, yeah that’ll do,” Thomas nodded. Guy stepped around the counter to grab a CD.  
Pedro walked over to Sebastian and put his arm around his shoulder. It was something these people were fond of.  
“So, I hear you’ve been spending a lot of time with Kavinsky,” he said, walking Sebastian away from the counter. “And, hey, I don’t blame you. He can be a lot of fun…he can also be a lot of other things.”  
Sebastian tried not to roll his eyes. “I appreciate the concern.”  
“I just don’t want you to get your hopes up,” Pedro said quickly. “Kavinsky comes here a lot. When he’s burned out. He stays for a little while and then he rolls out, sometimes with stolen property. Point is, he can’t really be anything more than a story.”  
Sebastian eased his way out of Pedro’s grip. “Why do I get the feeling you’ve made this speech before?”  
Pedro sighed. “I can’t lose another employee, okay? Just think of Coffee Cats before you run away to Greece.” He squeezed Sebastian’s shoulders before leaving the shop.  
Thomas waved him back to the counter. “Got you a CD here.”  
“Is he going to be okay?” Sebastian asked as Pedro stalked out the door.  
Thomas sighed. “Ah…he’ll get over it. He just hates to watch his employees get poached. You’re not planning on getting poached are you?”  
Both guys gave Sebastian serious stares. Sebastian shook his head.  
“I’m not going to run away if that’s what you mean,” he said.  
Guy-Man handed him a CD. It was Beehives by Broken Social Scene.  
“You sure?” Sebastian asked.  
Guy forced the CD into his hands.  
“How much is it?” he asked, reaching for his wallet, but Guy was shaking his head.  
“First CD’s on the house,” Thomas said with a smile. “If you don’t like it, you can come and exchange it for something else.”  
“Thanks,” Sebastian said. “You don’t have to.”  
“We also happen to know that you’ve only gotten one paycheck, so don’t worry about it,” Thomas added. “Go. Listen. Get some sleep.”  
But when Sebastian returned to his apartment and put the album on, he still couldn’t sleep. The music was nice. Dreamy and weird. But he found himself moving around. After laying on the couch for a couple minutes, he just kind of slid off until his torso was on the floor and his legs propped up. He was close enough to the wall to reach it with his hand, so he got a pen out of his suitcase/dresser/backpack and started writing the lyrics that caught his attention onto the wall. Then he found the CD case and tore the cover off, sticking it to the wall with scraps of tape. That led to sketching, which led to more music, and finding quotes from the books he liked and writing those up as well.  
Someone knocked on his door at about nine at night.  
“It’s open,” he shouted, expecting Uffie to roll in like she liked too.  
Instead, Kavinsky stepped in with all manor of stuff in his arms.  
“You know what I just saw?” he asked.  
Sebastian was sprawled across the floor with his head against the wall, staring up at something. “What?”  
Kavinsky set a bag down on the counter like he lived there. “The Godfather. Every Sunday is classic movie day at the theater. And I think the Godfather is my new favorite movie. Have you seen it? Everyone in it is such a badass.”  
Then he tossed something onto the couch before standing over Sebastian.  
“The mafia do tend towards badass behavior,” Sebastian said.  
Kavinsky knelt down. “What are you looking—”  
“Shh,” Sebastian hushed him, grabbing his face with his hand. He tilted his head up. “There’s a spider. On the ceiling. He’s been there for about an hour. Spinning a web.”  
Kavinsky joined Sebastian on the floor. “Ahh, there he is.”  
“It’s a big web,” Sebastian said, pointing out the boundaries. “I don’t know what he thinks he’s going to catch.”  
“Probably you,” Kavinsky said. “You’re the one who moved into his place.”  
Sebastian tried to lower his arm, but Kavinsky’s was there and he almost pulled away, but Kavinsky took his hand in his and lifted it back up.  
“Alright,” he said, trying to bend Sebastian’s arm so he could look at his palm.  
“You’re going to break it,” Sebastian pulled his hand back. Then he turned on his stomach, and gave Kavinsky his other arm. “What are you doing anyway?”  
Kavinsky held Sebastian’s fingers back, tracing the lines on his palm. “Reading your future. I’m a psychic.”  
“You’re full of shit is what you are,” Sebastian said, but he didn’t move. He rested his head on his other arm, trying not to shiver.  
“Okay, this one here,” Kavinsky touched the seam closest to his fingers. “Is your pretentious line. It’s very deep because you went to college. This other one is your fun line. See its pretty light because you don’t have enough fun. But, don’t worry, palms can change.”  
Sebastian barely heard his words. He just focused on the feeling of Kavinsky’s fingers brushing against his hand. It was making him tired and delirious at once.  
“I’m going to pass out,” he said into the carpet.  
“You can’t,” Kavinsky pleaded. Then he lightly bit Sebastian’s hand. “We haven’t gotten to the best line.”  
“Did you just bite me?” he asked.  
“It was in honor of your last line,” Kavinsky said and then stood up. Sebastian’s arm flopped onto the carpet. Kavinsky retrieved the bag he’d set on the counter and set it on Sebastian’s back.  
“It’s your Chinese food line,” he said. “And it’s looking good.”  
“You’re just…” Sebastian gestured towards him. “Spouting nonsense.”  
Kavinsky started pulling boxes out of the bag. The smell was divine.  
“I didn’t know what you liked,” he was saying. “So I just got a bunch of stuff.”  
“Kavinsky, I’m tired,” he tried to say.  
“I got it,” Kavinsky said and took the bag off of him. Then he speared a scallion pancake and held it in front of his face. “Doesn’t that smell good?”  
“I hate you,” Sebastian mumbled. “I bet you do this with all the bakers.”  
“Only the good ones,” Kavinsky said and fed him the pancake. “Good, yeah?”  
“How many bakers have there been?” Sebastian asked, turning over so he could prop his head up on Kavinsky’s leg.  
Kavinsky smiled. “Why would you want to talk about bakers when there’s Chinese food?”  
“Just wondering, is all,” Sebastian said but let Kavinsky shut him up with more food.  
Uffie showed up not much later, but she didn’t even knock. She just threw the door open and tossed her coat on the couch.  
“You won’t believe the day I’ve had.” Then she stopped and covered her mouth. “Oh, Kav, I didn’t know you were here. I’ll just…go and come back later…Seb, you can just text me when you’re…unengaged…”  
“Oh, stay,” Sebastian said, not bothering to move from where he was.  
“There’s extra food,” Kavinsky held up a tray of noodles.  
Uffie smiled. “Well if you insist.”  
She dropped onto the floor and told them all about the asshole she worked with, Tim.  
“Oh, my goodness,” she said, taking a bite of chicken. “I mean, he shows up with coffee for everyone, and, like I work at a coffee shop.”  
“Does he know you work at a coffee shop?” Sebastian asked.  
She frowned. “Well, no, but I mean…he could have asked.”  
Kavinsky laughed. “Because the first thing I want to know when I show up somewhere is who works at a coffee shop. You know, just in case.”  
She punched him. “That’s not even it. He’s got one of those come hither faces, you know? So they all love him. But off camera he’s always so sweet and nice and, like, offering to buy me stuff.”  
“So he’s into you?” Sebastian asked.  
“Well…” Uffie stared deeply into the box of rice. “Oh, shit, maybe that’s why I hate him.”  
“You should just sleep with him,” Kavinsky said. “Get it over with.”  
“Ew, no,” she said. “He’s too pretty.”  
“Uffie, he’s a model. So are you,” Kavinsky added. “You’re hot. Why shouldn’t you date other hot people?”  
She rolled her eyes. “Yeah but he’s just so…into it, you know? It’s almost like he loves what he does. It’s weird.”  
Sebastian set his plate aside. “Okay, let me get this straight. This guy Tim, he’s very attractive, he loves his job, he’s happy and he’s nice and he wants to treat you nicely. And you hate him for it.”  
Uffie shrugged. “Well when you put it like that…”  
“Just eat your food,” Kavinsky said and lifted a fork full of rice to her face. She ate it with a pout.  
“Sebastian did you write all over your walls?” she asked.  
“I got bored,” he answered.  
Uffie reached into her purse and pulled out a blue sharpie. Then she signed the wall, nice and big. Kavinsky took the marker next and put his signature up too. He handed the marker to Sebastian but he shook his head.  
“I’m not going to sign my own wall, that’s pretentious,” he said.  
Kavinsky smiled. “Well you should put something up.”  
Sebastian gripped the marker and then reached for Kavinsky. Holding the back of his head, he wrote his name across his face. Uffie laughed and pointed at him.  
“You look good, Kav,” she said.  
Kavinsky stole the marker and nodded. “You laugh now…” he turned and swiped the marker across Uffie’s cheek. Her mouth fell open.  
“I have a shoot tomorrow you ass!” she dove for the marker and wrestled it out of his hand. “Seb, hold him down!” she cried.  
“Don’t let her control you,” Kavinsky was yelling, but Sebastian just laid his back over Kavinsky’s chest, pinning him down. Uffie leaned over them both and went to work.  
“You’re going to get all the boys,” she said and she dotted her I’s and drew a heart.  
“And for my helper,” she kissed Sebastian on the cheek, leaving a nice lipstick imprint. “Now, I must be off. Me and the girls are going to watch a movie.”  
“Girls?” Kavinksy asked, sitting up. “You’re not the only one?”  
Uffie burst out laughing when she saw him, and the words I love on his forehead, and she’d added a possessive ‘s’ to Sebastian’s signature and then dick written on his chin.  
Sebastian threw the marker at her.  
She didn’t bat an eye. “Annie, Ellie and I like to get together and talk shit about all of you while watching men wrestle on TV. I’ll see you boys later.”  
She winked at Sebastian. “Have fun.” Then she mouthed the words call me.  
   
7 LIKE WOAH

As she walked out, Kavinsky touched his face as if he could read the letters like braille.  
“What does it say?” he asked. “Did she draw something? You have to tell me.”  
Sebastian tried not to laugh at him. “No, she’s right, you look good.”  
“Well, you know what, it’s not fair for you to get out clean, so…” he grabbed the pen off the ground, but Sebastian was on his feet.  
“Nope,” he said and gathered up the dishes from the ground. He was throwing things away in the kitchen when he heard Kavinsky step onto the cheap tile. He wheeled around, pointing a plastic fork at him. Kavinsky had the sharpie raised.  
“It’s only fair,” Kavinsky said. “I probably have a dick on my face, you can’t just be pretty…and stuff.”  
Sebastian glared at him, before the compliment sunk in. Then he saw the words on Kavinsky’s face again and he burst out laughing. “Okay fine, but only because I feel bad for ruining your nose.”  
“Meanie,” Kavinsky said and uncapped the sharpie menacingly. Then he stepped closer and he began writing words on Sebastian’s forehead. Sebastian held his breath, trying not to worry what horrible things were being written on his skin. Kavinsky held his face in place and Sebastian was vaguely aware of how warm his skin was. After a minute, Kavinsky leaned back and nodded. “My work here is done.”  
Sebastian took a deep breath. “Is it a dick?”  
“Please, I’m not that crass,” Kavinsky said.  
Sebastian brushed by him, heading for the bathroom. The mirror revealed the word Menu on his forehead. His face had Blowjobs…FREE scrawled across his face. Kavinsky laughed from the doorway. Then he saw his own face and laughed even harder.  
“Gotta hand it to Uffie.”  
Sebastian shook his head. “This is never going to come off.”  
“I’ll fix it,” Kavinsky said. He brandished the marker and crossed lines through some of the words, writing new menu items presumably. It wound up saying Real Classy Jobs. Sebastian grabbed the marker and wrote Fuck you across Kavinsky’s cheek. Then he threw the marker out of the room.  
“We’re done,” he said. “No more.”  
Kavinsky laughed. He was only inches away from Sebastian and he felt like the walls were closing in. Kavinsky stopped laughing. Sebastian stopped breathing. Then he quickly left the room, needing more space, more air. Kavinsky walked out behind him.  
“Why is your couch at an angle?” he asked.  
Sebastian looked at Kav. He was standing there in a black tee shirt, having discarded his jacket earlier. He walked over to the couch and sat on the edge. Sebastian approached him, feeling slightly delirious.  
“It’s kind of awkward,” Kavinsky tried to say but Sebastian was standing in front of him.  
“Shut up.” Sebastian touched his face, ignoring the silly writing. He traced the lines of his bones and felt the slight stubble on his jaw. Seb’s eyes became unfocused and he only saw things in details. The bridge of his nose, the corner of his mouth, the look in his eyes. The world was at a tilt and he felt a little drunk. Kavinsky started to smile. Sebastian touched his lips.  
“What are you doing?” Kav asked quietly.  
“I don’t know,” Sebastian said. “Just…be quiet.”  
Kav was still smiling. He closed his eyes and let his hands rest on Sebastian’s arms, drawing circles with his thumbs. Sebastian leaned his forehead against Kavinsky’s. Their noses touched. He took a breath.  
“I…shouldn’t be here,” Kavinsky whispered.  
“What did I say? No talking,” Sebastian said.  
Kavinsky put a hand on Sebastian’s chest. “You have no idea how much I’d like to stay and…not talk to you…but I have work in the morning. And you do too. And…”  
Sebastian moved closer and Kavinsky almost shut up, but then he got to his feet.  
“Seb I have to go,” he said with more confidence.  
They stared each other down for a minute, but Kavinsky didn’t move. Sebastian stalked into the kitchen, looking for a pack of cigarettes. “Whatever.”  
“I’m sorry,” Kavinsky added lamely.  
“If you’re sorry, then why go?” he asked, lighting up. He took a deep breath of ash.  
Kavinsky sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Believe it or not, I’m trying to be good.”  
“Well you can go be good somewhere else than,” Sebastian said.  
Kavinsky leaned on the kitchen wall. “Don’t be mad.”  
“I’m not mad,” Sebastian said.  
“Yeah, the murderous look in your eye says otherwise,” Kavinsky said. “Oh…and there’s something on your face.”  
Sebastian gave him the finger, but Kavinsky was laughing and he had to smile back.  
“I want to try and stay here for a while,” Kavinsky said. “I actually like it here. But I always find a reason to leave. I don’t know why.”  
There was confusion in his eyes and Sebastian felt a pang of pity. But he didn’t want to pity him, not now.  
“Probably something to do with the fact that you prefer a car to an apartment,” Sebastian said.  
Kavinsky smiled. “Yeah, well it’s a damn nice car, and the backseat’s pretty comfortable.”  
“Don’t tell me that,” Sebastian said, shaking his head.  
Kavinsky laughed. “Hey…since I like being here and all, I got you something.”  
He stepped over to the couch and retrieved the thing he’d tossed there earlier. He left it on the half wall to the kitchen. It was slipcover for the couch.  
“What the hell?” Sebastian held it up.  
“I just…I’ve seen that couch a lot and I don’t want to look at it anymore. At least this way I can pretend it’s a new couch.”  
“Well, damn, why you’d let me take it if you didn’t want to see it again?” Sebastian asked, leaning on the wall.  
Kavinsky took the cigarette from him and stole a breath. “I didn’t think I’d like you this much.”  
He handed the cigarette back and then lightly touched his forehead to Sebastian’s again.  
“I’ll see you later, Seb.”  
Sebastian sighed dramatically.  
“Right?” Kavinsky asked, pushing his forehead into his. “I will see you again, right?”  
“I guess,” Sebastian conceded.  
Kavinsky pulled away. “Night.”  
“Goodnight.”  
Long after Kavinsky was gone, Sebastian was on the ground, blasting music and scribbling all over the walls. Sleep did not come easy that night. 

The next day, Gaspard shook his head at Sebastian.  
“You don’t look good,” he said.  
Sebastian shrugged. “I’m fine.”  
“Bull shit,” Gaspard said in a singsong voice as he kneaded dough with his hands. Sebastian joined him at the counter, rolling out nice pieces of bread. That week was all about chocolate, so they were making marble bread with layers of chocolate flavored dough mixed throughout.  
“Also you seem to have something on your face,” Gaspard pointed at his own face, to provide a frame of reference.  
“I know,” Sebastian growled.  
“Maybe you should take the day off,” Gaspard said. “You got night crew tomorrow anyway, you could use the rest.”  
Sebastian huffed. “Jesus, I’m fine. I just haven’t…slept.”  
Gaspard put a hand on Sebastian’s shoulder. “Sebastian. You know I love you. But you’re filling my kitchen with hate.”  
“Yeah, yeah,” Sebastian took his apron off. “Sorry. I’ll go.”  
“Hey,” Gaspard pulled him into a hug. He patted his back. “You know you can tell me anything.”  
“Thanks,” Sebastian mumbled into his shirt.  
“Even if it has to do with people,” Gaspard went on. “People I know, or people I don’t know.”  
“I got it,” Sebastian said.  
“Hey,” Xavier appeared out of nowhere. “What are you doing?”  
Gaspard released Sebastian. “Kicking him out. Go get some sleep.”  
“Uh huh,” Sebastian felt miserable as he left the kitchen. Xavier was shaking his head at him. That was a problem to be dealt with later. As he was leaving Coffee Cats, Franck was coming in. They nearly bumped into each other.  
“Oh, hey Sebastian,” he said. “Are you leaving?”  
Sebastian ran a hand through his hair. “Do you want something? Fabien and Uff don’t come in until later, I could make you something.”  
Franck smiled. “If you don’t mind…”  
Sebastian shook his head and got back behind the counter, not sure why he was doing this. Franck leaned on the counter and stared up at the menu.  
“Hot cocoa is good,” Sebastian said.  
Franck nodded. “But Uffie isn’t here to make it. She makes it best.”  
“You don’t think I can make good hot cocoa?” Sebastian asked.  
“Oh, no,” Franck said. “I just…I’m pretty sure you can’t make it like she can.” He was trying not to smile. Sebastian stared him down for a minute before tapping the counter.  
“Challenge accepted.”  
Then he set to work, trying to guess what Uffie might put in her secret recipe.  
“Really, don’t put yourself out on my account,” Franck said, leaning over the counter to see what Sebastian was up to.  
“You came into my place of work and questioned my abilities,” Sebastian said. Then he threw a coffee stirrer at Franck. “You expect me to just take that? No. I will make you hot cocoa, god damnit, and it will be good.”  
Franck smiled and bit down on the coffee stirrer. “Did you finish Pulp?”  
“Yes sir,” Sebastian said. He was heating water and throwing a bunch of random powdered things into a cup. “Read it twice, starting on the 3rd.”  
“Impressive,” Franck said. “So I did good?”  
Sebastian turned to him. Franck had a timid smile. The kind that made you want to smile back.  
“Yeah,” Sebastian said. “Maybe you can find me another one.”  
Franck nodded. When the water was ready, Sebastian poured it over the mixture and stepped around the counter. He gestured to Franck’s usual table, and pulled out the chair.  
“Come on,” he said.  
Franck was trying to hide his smile again and inched over, taking his shoulder bag off. He sat down and Sebastian put the mug in front of him. Then he stood there and folded his arms.  
“Are you…just going to watch?” Franck asked.  
Sebastian nodded. “Yeah.”  
“Oh. Alright then.” Franck glanced up at him before gingerly picking up the cup and taking a sip.  
“OH,” he said and set it down. “Well…look at that.”  
“It’s shit, isn’t it?” Sebastian asked.  
“No, no,” Franck shook his head. “No, it’s great.”  
He picked the mug up again and was about to take another sip, but Sebastian flopped into the chair across from him.  
“Don’t bother,” he said. “I have no clue how she makes it.”  
Franck set it down with a sigh. “It’s alright. It was a valiant effort. Maybe next time you’ll…use less pepper.”  
“I didn’t…did I?” he asked.  
Franck reached over and patted his shoulder, but the motion was awkward and mechanic. “I don’t judge.”  
“What was that?” Sebastian asked. “You’re like a robot.”  
Franck seemed to be holding his breath for a minute before he let it out in a rush. “I’m sorry, you kind of terrify me.”  
“Really?” Sebastian asked.  
Franck nodded. “It’s not your fault. I’m just not good at people.”  
“You’re not alone there,” Sebastian said. He reached for the mug and took a sip himself. “Oh, that tastes like piss.”  
Franck laughed and covered his mouth. “Sorry.”  
“Not your fault,” Sebastian said and stood up. “Let me get you coffee to make up for it. Don’t worry, I can actually make coffee.”  
Franck nodded. “Forgive me for not feeling safe.”  
“I’m deeply offended,” Sebastian said as he stepped behind the counter.  
“Are you joking…or…I’m sorry?” Franck called.  
Sebastian laughed and poured coffee out of the pot. He gave it to Franck and started buttoning his jacket.  
“You look like you’re preparing for a snowstorm,” Franck said quietly.  
Sebastian leaned down and tugged on his flannel button up. “And you look like a douche college kid, but I’m not complaining.”  
“Touché,” Franck sipped the coffee. Then he gave a thumbs up. “Much better.”  
“See you later, Franck.” He stepped away, but as he looked out the window, he noticed the movie theater across the street. It was just opening up. And Kavinsky was sitting in the box office, clearly jamming out to music no one else could hear.  
Sebastian turned to Franck. “You live close by?”  
Franck looked like he’d narrowly avoided choking on the coffee. “Uh…yeah, actually. There’s an apartment building a couple blocks down. It’s where Uffie lives.”  
“That’s where I live,” Sebastian said.  
Franck’s face lit up. “Really?”  
Sebastian nodded. “We should do something. You can get me a new fix.”  
Franck’s gaze shifted back and forth between Sebastian’s eyes. “You’re talking about books right?”  
Sebastian smiled. “I’ll see you later Franck.”  
Then he walked home, ignoring the magnetic pull that was drawing him towards the movie theater and the madman in the box office. He made it all the way to the apartment building, but only to the 5th floor, where he promptly banged his head against Uffie’s door. Then he pulled out the bread he’d stolen from Coffee Cats.  
A little blond girl answered. She raked a hand through her long hair.  
“Um…hello,” she was British.  
“This is where Uffie lives right?” Sebastian asked.  
“Oh, yeah,” she said and turned around. “Uffie! There’s a depressed candy gram here for you.”  
Uffie’s voice filled the apartment. “Seb! Sebby! Seb-Seb! Come here!”  
The British girl stepped aside and gestured for him to come in.  
“I’m Ellie, by the way,” she said. “Nice to meet you.”  
“You too,” Sebastian said.  
Sebastian found Uffie in her room, which was about the size of his entire apartment. She was painting her nails. The room smelled vaguely of cigarettes and rubbing alcohol.  
“Here,” he tossed the bread on the bed next to her.  
“You’re a sweet heart,” she said. “My nails are wet, will you help me out?”  
Then she sat there with her mouth wide open. Sebastian tore some bread off and then tried to shove the whole loaf into her mouth. She squeaked and kicked him until he gave her a manageable piece.  
“What brings you here?” she asked. “Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”  
He leaned against her shoulder. “Gaspard sent me home.”  
“You came to steal my bed, didn’t you?” she asked.  
He shrugged. “You tried to bring me here once before.”  
“Yeah, that’s true. Well I’m about to run out, but I’m sure the girls won’t mind. So you just go ahead and get comfy, okay? You’re not sick are you?” She put the back of her hand to his forehead.  
“Not that kind,” he said.  
She huffed. “You boys just refuse to be happy.”  
Sebastian kicked his shoes off and curled up in a ball on her bed. “Kav is trying to be good.”  
“What in the hell does that mean?” she asked. She was waving her hands through the air, trying to dry her nails but looking like she’d burned herself.  
“He wants to stick around,” Sebastian said, closing his eyes. “Doesn’t want to mess things up, or something.”  
Uffie let out a long sigh and Sebastian didn’t open his eyes. He didn’t want to see the look on her face.  
“He means well,” Uffie said. “But I think you should still be careful.”  
“Always am,” Sebastian said. “Thanks for the bed.”  
“Thanks for the bread,” she said and bit loudly into it. “See you later babe.”

8 HATERRRRZ

When he woke up, someone had pulled the shades down and thrown a blanket over him. He thought about trying to go back to sleep, but decided against it. His brain had already started working, like a needle set to play on a record.  
He shuffled out of the apartment and back up to his. When he got there, there was a package in front of his door. Where there should have been an address, were just the words Yo Seb. He opened the door and kicked the package inside. There was a CD and a note within.  
Seb.  
Listen to this. And then tell me if you like it. But I don’t want to hear it if you don’t.  
Kav  
Sebastian didn’t want to listen to it. He didn’t want to like it. But he couldn’t help it. It was unlabeled, so he just let it play. As he did, he stared at the slipcover that Kavinsky had brought. It was black. Sebastian sat against the wall and smoked and tried not to answer the question in his brain.  
Why does he hate this couch?  
But it was fairly obvious. The previous Sebastian. The guy who fled town suspiciously close to when Kavinsky decided to move back. Sebastian pushed his hands through his hair realizing the bitter truth.  
Then he called Uffie.  
“Hey Seb,” she answered.  
“Kavinsky. This couch.” He took a long drag. “You let me take furniture from his ex.”  
“Well…yes,” she said. “Baby I’m sorry. But you should have seen Kav when he came to the apartment and Seb’s stuff was there. He walked into the room, and then turned right around and found the closest bottle of alcohol. It took two days to sober him up.”  
“I just need to know one thing,” Sebastian said, finishing off one cigarette and moving on to the next. “How often…did they have sex on this couch?”  
Uffie took a sharp breath in. “Its not good to focus on stuff like that. Who knows? Maybe they never did. The point is that they haven’t been together in a long time and Kavinsky desperately wants to move on.”  
“Really?” Sebastian asked. “Why did he move back then? You sure he didn’t want to patch things up?”  
“Yes,” Uffie said forcefully. “Believe me, Sebastian. They are done. That ended a long time ago. With fire.”  
“What?” Sebastian said.  
She sighed into the phone. “Kav may or may not have set some of Seb’s stuff on fire, don’t worry about it. He’s past it now. Look, if it makes you feel any better, I haven’t seen him this…sober in a while. He seems happy. Like maybe he’s going to try.”  
Sebastian nodded. “Yeah, okay.”  
“Are you going to be okay?” she asked. “I don’t want to leave you feeling badly.”  
“No, no, I’ll be fine.” Sebastian said as he searched through the apartment.  
“You sure? You’re not going to burn the couch are you?” she asked, laughing.  
“No,” Sebastian said, pulling out a box of matches. “Not the couch.”  
“Seb?” she asked.  
“Bye,” he said and hung up the phone. 

It took about 30 minutes to get the armchair out of the apartment and into the parking lot behind the building. Then he went to liquor store. The Swedes were there, looking deranged, per usual.  
“Welcome!” they both shouted when he stepped inside.  
“You don’t look so good,” the smiley one said.  
“So you’ve come to the right place!” the other yelled.  
They gave each other high fives.  
Sebastian walked up to the counter and smiled. “Hey. I have a problem. Can you help me out?”  
The next thing he knew, he and the two guys were standing in the parking lot, watching the armchair blaze. Sebastian lit a cigarette off the flames. Then the Swedes, Olle and Stefan, produced a box of light bulbs. The three of the smashed glass together and tossed the pieces into the fire, like some kind of weird satanic ritual.  
Olle grabbed Sebastian’s shoulder. “Hey. Anytime you have a problem, you come to us, yeah?”  
Stefan was nodding and smiling.  
Sebastian smiled back. “I will.”  
Sebastian slept well that night.  
He had the next day off unfortunately. Left to his own devices, he had no idea what to do with himself. He tried not to, but before he knew it, he was listening to the CD again. He’d been able to identify it as the Black Keys. It was good. He hated that he liked it. He spent the rest of the day defacing the walls. Then he turned to the couch. He wrote all over the red cushions every horrible thing he ever wanted to say to anyone. Some of it even surprised him. When the sharpie refused to write anymore, he covered it with the black slip.  
Then, night crew.  
He had no idea what to expect. He didn’t think they’d get many customers, so he brought Pulp, thinking he’d be able to toil away most of the shift. When he got there, he was more than a little surprised.  
He pushed open the doors to see Bertrand sitting on the counter, and everyone else was sitting on the floor looking up at him, like he was teaching a lesson.  
“Sebastian,” Bertrand said. “Glad you could make it.”  
Everyone turned to look at him.  
“Let’s everyone go around and say your name,” Bertrand gestured to the closest two people. They grinned wildly at Sebastian.  
“I’m Zdar,” one of them said. And the one next to him said, “I’m Boom!”  
“I’m Flash,” another guy with too much hair said.  
“And you just can call me Baldhead,” the last one said.  
“Welcome to night crew!” they all shouted.  
Sebastian took a few cautious steps forward. But Zdar and Boom grabbed his arms and pulled him onto the floor between them.  
“You’re going to love it,” Zdar said.  
“Gird your loins,” Boom said with a wild look in his eyes.  
Sebastian was beginning to wonder if he’d come to the right place. Bertrand clapped his hands together.  
“Alright, tonight’s plan for the secret city beautification project goes like this. We’ll start at the convenience store. Then we move on to the library. After that, we’ll take a break in the park and then it’s a free for all until closing.”  
Everyone seemed to be in agreement with Bertrand.  
Sebastian raised his hand into the air.  
“Yes,” Bertrand pointed at him.  
Sebastian cleared his throat. “What the hell is going on?”  
Bertrand smiled and hopped off the counter. Then he put his hands on Sebastian’s shoulders. “The only rule of night crew is this. Don’t tell Pedro.” Then he smiled and stood up.  
Everyone began getting to their feet and pulling hoods over their faces. Some of them had bandanas to go over their mouths too. Flash had a giant pair of sunglasses. They moved out of the shop, piling onto the sidewalk. Zdar and Boom started howling. Bertrand turned to the shop.  
“Oizo?” he called.  
The man appeared with a broom behind the counter. “I got it.”  
“See you later,” Bertrand said and locked the door.  
He walked with Sebastian down to the end of the block where AHT Convenience Store was, an ugly ass brick building. Bertrand had a backpack on him, and he swung it around and started pulling spray paint out of it.  
“When Pedro started the night crew,” Bertrand said. “It seemed to make sense. And then we realized that no one wants coffee after midnight. So we started something else.”  
He handed a can of black paint to Sebastian. “Make yourself useful.”  
Sebastian smiled. This was something he could get behind.  
The convenience store was on the corner of the street, so there was a long wall with nothing on it but bricks. But no one made a move until Bertrand stepped up to the wall. He was the first to mark it, with what looked like a police badge. Then he stepped away and everyone else swarmed the wall. The fumes were almost unbearable, except the rush of adrenaline that Sebastian felt. He stepped up and added his own scribbles to the collection.  
“Move out,” Bertrand shouted after a few minutes. When they left it, the wall was a rainbow of strange figures and poems and obscenities.  
As they walked on, Sebastian realized their group had grown. There was a guy walking among them with a giant mouse head covering his face. Everyone clapped him on the back when he showed up. There was another guy with a baseball cap and a bandana over his face that made him look like a skeleton. He was howling along with the rest of them.  
As the crew moved towards the library, someone stopped and shouted.  
“He’s here!”  
Everyone crowded around a mailbox that had been vandalized with the words Danger written across it. It also had been painted to look like something had sliced through the metal. Bertrand touched the word and his hand came away black.  
“Still fresh,” he said.  
“Let’s catch him!” Zdar shouted.  
Everyone took off running down the street. The library was about three blocks away. It was free standing, so there was plenty of wall space. It looked more like a prison than a library with its awful cement structure. Sebastian could see why they wanted to improve it.  
When they got there, one of the walls had been stolen. There was an image of a man dressed all in black with strange white eyes. It had been painted to look like he’d climbed through the wall. The word Danger was back, signed in the corner.  
“Well, there are two more walls,” Bertrand said. “Go forth and conquer.”  
Everyone swarmed the building. Sebastian noticed they’d gained two more guys—the masked men from the Bloody Bakery.  
“Is this legal?” Sebastian asked Bertrand.  
Bertrand lounged on the steps to the building. “I don’t really care.” He smiled. “Go have fun, man, you deserve it.”  
He stepped up to the building, joining Flash and Baldhead. The library was a much more beautiful place when they had finished. Their group was quite formidable when they made it to the park, which was a few blocks down from there. Sebastian passed his apartment building on the way over. He noticed Danger scrawled on the steps leading up.  
When they made it to the park, there were two guys waiting for them there. They looked like robots, one silver and one gold. They were playing music from an honest to god Boom box. Everyone gathered around them like this was perfectly normal. A bunch of masked men hanging out in a park and listening to music.  
Zdar and Boom snuck up behind Sebastian and lifted him up on their shoulders.  
“Our newest member!” Everyone clapped and cheered for him.  
It was up on their shoulders that Sebastian noticed the face on the picnic table. “Hey, what is that?” he asked.  
Everyone crowded around the table in question. It had been adorned with the barest sketch of a face. The only colors were black blue and red. Then Bertrand started laughing.  
“Seb, it’s you,” he said, pointing at him.  
It clicked in everyone’s brain and a chorus of ahh’s filled the park.  
Sebastian glared at Bertrand. “Did you do it?”  
“No,” he said and he pointed at the edge of the table. Danger had signed his work yet again.  
Sebastian shook his head. “Who the hell is this guy?”  
Zdar and Boom set him on the table. “We’re not at liberty to say.”  
Bertrand took a seat, as everyone continued hanging out in the park. The robots had cranked the music up and people were dancing and being generally insane. He watched as the mouse dipped Mr. Flash and Baldhead was doing what appeared to be hamboning.  
“Everyone who comes out to night crew is allowed to be someone else for the night,” Bertrand said. “You can be whoever you want to be. We don’t judge.”  
Sebastian glared at his own face for a minute. Then he lit up a cigarette. When he looked up, he saw someone else standing on a table at the edge of the clearing they were occupying. He didn’t say anything. All Sebastian could see where two white eyes staring at him.  
“I’ll be right back,” Sebastian said and hopped off the table.  
“Be careful now,” Bertrand said as he walked off.  
As soon as Sebastian started after him, Danger hopped off the table and disappeared behind a tree. Seb hurried after him. He pushed past branches and bushes, feeling ridiculous, traipsing through the woods after a masked man. The white eyes appeared again, and he pushed through into a much smaller clearing. There was a tree and a table and a grill, and every surface had been connected by a long black string to look like a giant spider web. Danger was standing at the center of it  
“What are you hoping to catch?” Sebastian asked.  
He moved between the strings over to Sebastian, where he bowed low. Then he spoke through the mask. “You.”  
“I appreciate the effort,” Sebastian said. “But that table looked nothing like me.”  
Danger laughed quietly. “My guests seem to think otherwise.”  
The voice was familiar. Sebastian reached for the mask, but he ducked away.  
“Don’t spoil the fun yet.”  
“How long did it take you to do this?” Sebastian gestured to the web.  
He shrugged. “Too long. Considering they’ll just take it down tomorrow. But I will treasure it now while it lasts.”  
He had produced a phone and was taking pictures. “Maybe I’ll catch a jogger tomorrow.”  
“Eat them for breakfast?” Sebastian asked, sitting down against a tree. He was smoking again.  
“Well if we’re being honest,” Danger went on. “Children taste the best.”  
Sebastian leaned to the side and stared at the web. As the camera flashed, he could almost make out some kind of design in the strings. Like a word.  
“You wrote your name in there,” he said, pointing.  
Danger turned to him and put the camera away. “Got you something.”  
He slipped back into strings and grabbed something from off the table. When he returned, he knelt down in front of Sebastian and held out a book. It was The Metamorphosis by Kafka.  
Sebastian took the book, before reaching up and pulling the mask up. Franck smiled back, slightly breathless.  
“How do you do?” he asked.  
Sebastian had to smile. “Would not have you pegged for public vandalism.”  
Franck turned to look back at his work. “What can I say? Sometimes I have crazy ideas and just enough free time to do them.”  
Sebastian stuck the book in his jacket. “Want to get out of here?”  
“And go where?” Franck asked.  
“Where the hell do you think?” Sebastian asked, standing up. He offered Franck a hand and pulled him up. But he didn’t let go, just pulled Franck away from the woods and the park, towards the street again.  
“Sebastian,” Franck jogged up beside him. “Is everything okay?”  
“Why wouldn’t it be?” he asked.  
“Because…you look a little crazy. Have you been sleeping?” Franck asked.  
“Jesus, you too?” Sebastian asked, glaring at him. “Everybody just wants to take care of me, huh?”  
He pulled his hand away and took a deep breath. The air was chilled and burned his throat. Franck watched him, the mask hanging limply from his hands.  
“I would love to spend time with you,” Franck said. “I’m just worried.”  
“Worried about what?” Sebastian asked.  
“Well…after the hot chocolate debacle, I’m worried you’re trying to poison me.”  
Sebastian slowly smiled. “I want to see your apartment.”  
Franck was nodding, but he looked like he hadn’t quite wrapped his head around it. “Uh. Yeah, you want to see my…apartment. Sure. Sure that would be fine.”  
He stepped ahead of Sebastian and got his keys out of his pocket. The apartment building was a little farther up. Sebastian watched Danger fade away as Franck returned. He took the mask out of Franck’s hands and studied it.  
“Do you ever just get on the elevator with this on and scare the shit out of everybody?” he asked.  
Franck gave a nervous laugh. “No. Haven’t tried that yet.”  
They stepped into the lobby and waited for an elevator. Sebastian gave him the mask back. They were silent until Franck was unlocking the door to his apartment.  
“Uh, it’s not much. And it’s kind of small. But here you go…” he opened the door for Sebastian. It was only marginally bigger than Sebastian’s. But Franck had packed so much stuff into the space, it somehow seemed gigantic. There was TV on the wall with a rather impressive array of game systems stacked neatly underneath. A sizeable couch faced the wall, and behind that there was a curtain separating the living room from what he guessed was a bedroom.  
“These apartments are criminally small,” Franck said, hoping over a stack of books in the corner. “Do you want something…food or drinks or something?”  
Sebastian shook his head.  
“Well. Make yourself comfortable,” Franck said. He turned away to rummage through his fridge.  
Sebastian took that as an open invitation. He quietly stepped through the apartment, checking out the many many stacks of books that lined the walls. There were posters up as well, for different bands and movies and games. There were also photographs of Danger’s signature in different places. Sebastian pushed past the curtain and stared at his perfectly made bed. As much as the place was cluttered, everything was perfectly in order. Sebastian took his shoes off.  
“So, do you still like it here?” Franck asked from the kitchen.  
“Yeah,” Sebastian answered. “I think so.”  
“You think?” Franck laughed. He stepped out of the kitchen. “Where’d you go?”  
“Here,” Sebastian said.  
Franck found him curled up on his bed, eyes closed, jacket wrapped tightly around him. “You sure got comfortable.”  
“I like other people’s beds,” Sebastian answered.  
“So I’ve heard,” he said and stood awkwardly to the side.  
Sebastian looked at Franck. “Should I move?”  
He shook his head.  
“Are you going to stand there all night or are you going to sit with me?”  
Franck hedged for a minute and then crawled onto the edge of the bed. He put about as much space between them as possible, leaning against the backboard.  
“Can I ask you something?” Franck said.  
Sebastian nodded.  
“Are you and Kavinsky…a thing?”  
Sebastian sighed. “Everyone in this town has pretty much told me to stay away from him.”  
“But…?” Franck prompted.  
“But…I’m bad at following orders,” Sebastian told him. He sat up then, and messed up his hair. “I don’t like being around him.”  
“Don’t lie,” Franck said with a smile. “The least you can do is tell me the truth.”  
Sebastian took a deep breath in. “I like to feel like I’m on equal ground with someone. At the least. And I really hate feeling like I’m not in control.”  
Franck nodded. “Then he’s really not the person for you.”  
“You’d think,” Sebastian reached for a cigarette, but looked at Franck first. “Is it okay?”  
Franck seemed to snap out of a daydream. “Yeah, yeah. Go ahead.”  
“You just want to watch me smoke,” Sebastian said.  
Franck looked away. “I’m really bad at people, did I mention?”  
Sebastian laid back and blew smoke at the ceiling. “Am I taking advantage of your hospitality?”  
“Only a little,” Franck said. “I don’t mind.”  
Sebastian reached over and tugged on his sleeve. Franck sat there a minute before allowing himself to scoot over. Then he laid his head onto Sebastian’s stomach.  
“Why isn’t Danger allowed out more often?” Sebastian asked.  
Franck closed his eyes. “I don’t trust him.”  
“But you trust me,” Sebastian said.  
Franck looked up at him. “Not at all. In fact I’m pretty sure this is all a huge mistake.”  
“I’m sorry,” Sebastian told him. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to.”  
“But you’d rather be somewhere else,” Franck said. Sebastian was about to contest, but Franck shook his head. “It’s okay. I understand. He has that effect on people. I’m more than happy to be a stupid mistake. I don’t get to meet people like you very often.”  
He settled back, closing his eyes again and looking ready to fall asleep.  
“Likewise,” Sebastian said as Franck’s breathing deepened.  
Sebastian tried to ignore the feeling of guilt that knotted in his chest. He finished his cigarette and thought of Danger the vandal and Franck the bookstore clerk. And yet, for some stupid reason, he lay there wishing he were back in Kavinsky’s bed.  
9 oh 9 oh 9 oh

 

Sebastian lay awake for a long time in Franck’s bed. Franck had actually fallen asleep on him. He liked that he could do that. But he also wondered how Franck managed to keep two sides of him so completely separate. Sebastian could barely handle himself and there wasn’t much too him. He thought about leaving, because he didn’t want to give Franck the wrong idea. Then he thought about Franck waking up alone and that was worse.  
Uffie had said Franck was good. She said he was nice. That he would be good for Sebastian. Sebastian couldn’t help but think she underestimated him. And what he could do to people.  
Then he felt horrible about being there. He touched Franck’s shoulder.  
“Hey,” he whispered. It was about 4 in the morning. “Franck.”  
Franck’s eyes slowly opened. “Is something wrong?”  
“No,” Sebastian sat up and Franck kind of slid off him. “I have to go. I’m supposed to be working.”  
Franck rubbed his eyes and tried to sit up. “Okay. Right, okay.”  
Sebastian smiled. “Just go back to sleep. Sorry I woke you.”  
“No, I’m glad you did.” Franck sat on the edge of the bed. “If you need anything—”  
Sebastian stood up and shook his head. “No. Thanks for letting me stay here.”  
He nodded. “Yeah yeah. Anytime.”  
Sebastian buttoned his coat. “Yeah?  
“It may be my delirious state of mind, but yeah. You can come here whenever you want. It’s nice…” he started to say. He eyes finally focused on Sebastian. “It’s nice not to be alone.”  
Sebastian wanted to thank him, to express what that meant, but he didn’t want to mislead Franck. It wasn’t right to make him think things were different. Because the truth was that Sebastian was still fascinated by Kavinsky and he couldn’t get him out of his mind and he hadn’t decided to give up on him yet. But then there was Franck. Franck made things just a little complicated.  
Against his better judgment, Sebastian wrapped his hand around Franck’s upper arm and put his lips against his forehead. Franck’s hand gripped the edge of his jacket. Then Sebastian walked out, not looking back, afraid to make it worse.

Back at Coffee Cats, Bertrand gave him a look. “You’ve been gone a while.”  
Sebastian shrugged. “Sorry.”  
“It’s okay. Now you can help us get ready for the morning shift.”  
“Which involves what?” Sebastian asked.  
There were only two people in the place. Oizo, who was slow dancing with a broom, and Bertrand who sat on the counter and appeared to be drawing things into the cream of a cappuccino.  
“Why don’t you write up the new menu,” he said, handing him a marker.  
“And what is new about the menu?” Sebastian asked, climbing onto the coffee counter with the marker.  
“Whatever you want,” Bertrand said. “Make something up. Gaspard loves a challenge.”  
Sebastian changed the date on the menu and then added an item called the dirty pumpkin. He figured Gaspard would have fun with that. Sebastian tried to wipe down the tables but Oizo was dancing through and singing Frank Sinatra in a quavering baritone. He kept trying to pass the broom off to Sebastian.  
“Come on,” he said. “Take a break and dance. My funny valentine…”  
Sebastian felt weird enough to accept the broom. Oizo picked up the bottle of cleaner and sang into it. Then Zdar and Boom showed up, and they jumped right in, swaying with each other as Sebastian dance cleaned the floor. Bertrand hummed along, nodding his head.  
When Flash and Baldhead turned up, they actually did a little cleaning, and then retired to Pedro’s office to play a round of sleep deprived poker. Gaspard got there first, so Sebastian joined him in the kitchen.  
“Have fun?” Gaspard asked.  
Sebastian shrugged. “If by fun, you mean the weirdest night of my life…”  
“So, a dirty pumpkin, huh?”  
Sebastian nodded.  
“Got any suggestions or am I supposed to wing it?” he asked.  
Sebastian hopped onto the counter. “I was thinking…some kind of pumpkin and chocolate…thing…I don’t know.”  
Gaspard nodded. “I like it. Keep going.”  
Sebastian stretched his legs out. “How about we put it on a stick?”  
“Now you’re talking,” Gaspard smiled. “I love cake pops…”  
“Need any help?” Sebastian asked.  
Gaspard gave him a stern look. “You need to go to bed.”  
“Ah, come on, it’s my own invention. I have to see it through.”  
Gaspard heaved a sigh. “Get me some sugar.”  
They set to work mixing up batter and icing and setting things to freeze. By the time things were starting to shape up, it was almost a reasonable time of day and Sebastian felt a weight pressing into his eyes. All of sudden, Gaspard was shaking Sebastian. His hands were sinking into the batter and his throat was full of sand.  
He coughed. “I’m awake.”  
“No you’re not,” Gaspard said, lifting his hands out of the batter. “You need to go home, Seb.”  
Sebastian sighed. “My apartment sucks, Gaspard.”  
“Then go use my room. Either way, you need to get some sleep and not in my batter please.”  
“But I want to try one…”  
Gaspard shook his head. “I’d give it to you, but the sugar would just wake you up. Go. To. Bed.”  
Sebastian washed his hands begrudgingly. As he left the shop, he saw Kavinsky in the box office. Kavinsky looked up at him. Then he started miming out some message, pointing at Sebastian and then making a heart with his hands and then appeared to be pretending to vomit.  
“What the fuck…” Sebastian just stared at him.  
Then Kavinsky held up his hand and got his phone out. Sebastian got a call.  
“Did you like the music?” Kavinsky asked.  
“What?” Sebastian asked. “I can’t hear you.”  
Kavinsky’s face deadpanned. “I’m coming over after work. We’re going to listen to it together.”  
Sebastian shook his head, ignoring the spike in heart rate that came with those words. “I’m sorry, who are you? How did you get this number?”  
“This is the number I call for free blowjobs, right?” he asked.  
Sebastian gave him the finger and hung up. Kavinsky was clearly laughing. Sebastian kept on walking. When he got to his apartment, his mind started yelling at him. Kavinsky is coming over. Clean up. Don’t fall asleep. Make tea, read a book, pass the time until he gets here.  
Sebastian sat down on the couch. His head found a pillow. He kicked his shoes off and curled up and—  
“Seb?”  
He opened an eye to see Kavinsky’s face hovering over him. Sebastian stared wildly up at him. “How did you…?”  
“Door was open,” Kavinsky said. “You should really think about locking up. If you want to go back to sleep…I can creepily watch you.”  
Sebastian shook his head. Kavinsky was sitting on the couch next to him. He patted the armrest.  
“I like the new color,” he said. “Nice and…not what it was before.”  
“Let’s not talk about what this couch was before,” Sebastian said. “In fact, let’s just pretend that you never even brought it up.”  
“Sounds good,” Kavinsky leaned over him. “Does that mean you’re ready for some sweet music?”  
Sebastian was just thinking about getting closer to Kavinsky when he jumped off the couch.  
“It’s not like I haven’t heard it,” he said, staring at him from the sofa.  
“So you did listen?” Kavinsky was smiling.  
Sebastian sighed. Kavinsky clapped and pointed at him. “You liked it. You loved it. Come on, how do you listen to music in this shoe box?”  
Sebastian shrugged in the direction of his laptop. Kavinsky pulled it over and a few clicks later he played the CD. He slowly turned the volume up.  
“Kav I have neighbors,” Sebastian said.  
Kavinsky nodded thoughtfully. “Fuck em! Get up.” He pulled Sebastian’s hands out of his coat pockets and lifted him up off the couch. Kavinsky stared at him, shaking his head.  
“You know you have a heater. You don’t need the seven coats,” he said.  
“Kav…” Sebastian stared at him.  
Kavinsky’s eyes softened. “I like when you say that. Kav. Sounds good coming from you.”  
Sebastian tried to keep his breathing steady.  
“Now get this fucking coat off,” he said, pawing uselessly at the buttons. “You look like a goth yeti.”  
Sebastian pushed him away and tossed his jacket on the floor. Then Kavinsky grinned. “Which ones do you like? Songs? Come on, tell me everything.”  
“I liked Everlasting Light,” Sebastian told him. “If you must know.”  
“You would,” Kavinsky said with a grin and set the song up. It played low and loud and Sebastian watched Kavinsky tapping out the drums on his legs. Then he started to sing along. He turned to Sebastian, belting it out.  
“Won’t you be my everlasting light? A sun when there is none.”  
Sebastian turned away, fleeing into the kitchen to set water to bottle. Kav followed him in, continuing to sing. He started drumming on Sebastian’s shoulders.  
“Oh baby, can’t you see? It’s shining just for you. Loneliness is over…”  
He grabbed Sebastian’s hand and spun him around. Sebastian tried not to smile. Then Kavinsky continued bobbing and dancing through the apartment, back to the laptop.  
“You want to know my favorite?” Kavinsky called. He put on Ten Cent Pistol and played a bit of air guitar, just to set the mood. Sebastian watched from behind the half wall, figuring it was a little safer.  
Kavinsky sang again in his best soulful voice. When the chorus came around, he pointed his hand at Sebastian.  
“Oh she hit him with a ten cent pistol.”  
Sebastian aimed back. Kavinsky was smiling, approaching him until he could lean his face into Sebastian’s hand. Sebastian watched his expression, watch as he seemed to relax for a second, allowing Sebastian to run his hand across his face. Sebastian forgot the music. Kavinsky came as close as the half wall would allow, and then he reached for Sebastian. He touched his cheek.  
“You look tired, Seb,” he said quietly. “Why don’t you sleep?”  
Kav touched Sebastian’s forehead and ran the edge of his finger down the bridge of his nose. Sebastian’s eyes slid shut.  
“Sleep is pointless,” he said.  
“Not always,” Kavinsky said back. “Not when you have things to do. Or people to see…”  
Sebastian’s hands dropped to Kavinsky’s chest. He took a deep breath, but as Kavinsky drew lines over his skin, his thoughts were hard to put together.  
“I don’t like sleeping,” he said. “I don’t like sleeping here. Alone. It’s so…fucking lonely.”  
Kavinsky reached for Sebastian’s hand. He put it to his lips.  
“Maybe…I can help with that.”  
Sebastian stared at him. “I thought you were trying to be good.”  
“I am. I’m helping you. Isn’t that good?”  
Sebastian’s chest felt like it was going to cave in. “I’m not sure what I’m supposed to feel right now.”  
Kavinsky smiled against his hand. “Well, your pot of water is boiling onto your stove, so maybe you should deal with that first.”  
Sebastian turned to see that the water was, in fact, spilling all over the place. “Shit.” He stepped away, feeling the stark lack of warmth as he shut the stove off and pushed the pot onto a different burner. When he turned around, Kavinsky was leaning in the entrance to the kitchen.  
“So…what exactly are you suggesting?” Sebastian said.  
Kavinsky shrugged. “That you get some sleep. But that you don’t have to sleep alone. No funny business, just rest.” He held up his hands. “Scouts honor.”  
“You are not a boy scout,” Sebastian said.  
Kavinsky smiled. “Not at all. But in this, I will be. I don’t think its smart for us to get into anything. I’m not the best guy and you’re just settling in. I don’t want to ruin it. But I would be lying if I said there was anything else I’d rather be doing than helping you sleep.”  
Sebastian walked up to Kavinsky, close enough to kiss. Then he put his head against Kavinsky’s. “Deal.”  
Kavinsky smiled and pushed back. “Deal.”  
Sebastian stepped away and got his coat off the couch. “But we’re going to your place. Bed beats couch every time.”  
Kavinsky smiled and got his letterman jacket back on. Then he put his arm around Sebastian’s shoulder. The motion had stopped feeling friendly and had transmuted into something else entirely that both soothed and angered him. He didn’t want to be Kavinsky’s. But he wanted to be around him. It made things tricky.  
They left the apartment and got onto the elevator. Kavinsky made a face.  
“What? You forget something?” Sebastian asked.  
Kavinsky shook his head. “No. We’re going to have to walk by Coffee Cats.”  
“So?”  
Kavinsky looked at him. “If Pedro sees…” then he shook his head. “No. We’re going around the building.”  
“What does Pedro have against you anyway?” Sebastian asked.  
Kavinsky smiled wistfully. “Pedro and I have a long and…tumultuous history. He refuses to let me work at Coffee Cats, even though they almost always need an extra hand.”  
“Does that have anything to do with you screwing up the mental health of his old employees?” Sebastian asked.  
Kavinsky looked offended. “I would never.”  
As they walked down the street, Kavinsky rubbed his hands together. “So, you should go in the front and say you need to talk to Gaspard. And I’ll sneak around the front. Then you can take the side exit and meet me on the staircase.”  
“This is ridiculous,” Sebastian muttered.  
“You don’t understand,” Kavinsky said. “If Pedro sees me with you…it’s curtains. He’ll kill me.”  
“Jesus, what did you do?” Sebastian asked.  
Kavinsky shook his head. “Story for another time. You go ahead.” He pushed Seb’s shoulders.  
Sebastian rolled his eyes very dramatically before he walked ahead into Coffee Cats. Uffie beamed at him from behind the counter.  
“Hey there sleepy head. Want some coffee?”  
Sebastian shook his head. “Nope. Just came here to stare at you for a bit.”  
“Aw, how sweet,” she said. “Staring contest. Go.”  
She opened her eyes wide and Sebastian stared back at her. A few seconds went by and the door opened. Sebastian was about to scold who he assumed was Kavinsky, ruining his own dumbass plan, when Franck leaned on the counter next to him.  
“This feels important, I’ll wait til you’re done.”  
Sebastian blinked. “Hey. What are you doing here?”  
“Boy, you suck at these,” Uffie said and turned to start preparing Franck’s hot cocoa.  
“Just came to study after my shift,” Franck said. “I opened at the bookstore today. How about you? Don’t you have the day off?”  
“Yeah, why aren’t you sleeping?” Uffie asked suspiciously. “Gaspard said you were supposed to be home sleeping.”  
“Hey, it’s Kavinsky!” Fabien pointed across the counter as Kavinsky walked by the front of the shop. “KAV!” he yelled.  
Kavinsky turned to them like he’d been caught stealing. He opened the door. “Hey, man, what’s up?”  
“You’re not coming in?” Fabien asked. “I’m hurt, man.”  
“You always come in,” Uffie prompted. “Unless…”  
She looked at Sebastian as he sighed into his hands, and back at Kavinsky who was clearly trying to make another getaway. Uffie smacked Fabien on the arm.  
“Kavinsky doesn’t always come in. If he’s got something to do. You go on honey, we’ll catch up later.” She waved as Kavinsky quickly left again.  
Fabien turned to her. “What was that? I wanted to hang with my bro.”  
“Not today,” she said. “Seb, don’t you have somewhere to be?”  
He glared at her. “Thanks, Captain Obvious.”  
“Something’s happening,” Franck said. “And I’m lost.”  
Sebastian stepped behind the counter and grabbed a cake pop out of the display, which he handed to Franck. “Here. I’ll see you later Franck.”  
“See you…” Franck said, watching as Sebastian stepped into the kitchen. Gaspard turned and saw him and shook his head.  
“Out,” he said, pointing at the door.  
Sebastian slunk out the side door. The ally was empty, thankfully. He felt ridiculous as he walked to the back of the building and climbed the stairs. He knocked on the door to the apartment. It opened a crack. Kavinsky stared at him.  
“Were you followed?”  
“Open the fucking door,” Sebastian said.  
Kavinsky nodded. “Coincidentally, that was the password.” He swung the door open and Sebastian stepped past him. He started taking off his coat, heading towards Kavinsky’s room.  
“Okay, we’re never doing that again,” he said.  
He dropped his coat at the foot of the mattress and started pulling his shoes off. Kavinsky inched into the room, watching him.  
“You waste no time,” he said quietly.  
Sebastian glared at him. “I’m fucking tired, Kav, you said it yourself. It’s not like we haven’t done this before.”  
Kavinsky nodded. “Of course. It’s not a problem. You know, it’s just…”  
“What?” Sebastian asked. “You’re not going to make me sneak into my own place of work again, are you?”  
Kavinsky smiled but it was nervous. “No. Sorry. This is just weird. It’s very…” He let out his breath in a huff. “I don’t know. Normal?”  
Sebastian closed the door for him and pulled on Kav’s jacket. “That’s coming off.”  
Then he stepped onto the mattress and, after determining the best spot, sank down and curled in on himself.  
“You really are kind of like a cat,” Kavinsky said quietly.  
Sebastian gave him the finger. Kavinsky laughed and sat on the mattress next to him.  
“Sorry for being weird,” he said. “This isn’t really something I do.”  
“Tell me about it,” Sebastian mumbled.  
Kavinsky touched Sebastian’s hair. Sebastian felt the annoyance fade away.  
“I’m just…going to get used to this for a minute.” It took Kavinsky a couple of minutes to lie down next to him. The absence of alcohol seemed to make him uneasy. But then he turned on his side and reached his arm over Sebastian’s side, so he could pull him closer. Kav leaned his face into Sebastian’s, kissing his cheekbone. Then he buried his face in Seb’s hair.  
“You said no funny business,” Sebastian whispered.  
“I’m done,” Kavinsky said and slid his arm under Sebastian’s pillow.  
“Is this okay?” Sebastian asked.  
Kavinsky nodded against him. “I could get used to this.”  
The world quickly slipped away.  
   
100000000  
just kidding it’s 10.

Sebastian woke up in the middle of the night. The warmth was gone. Kavinsky was lying on his back, one arm over his face. He was asleep. Dead asleep. Sebastian turned over and pressed his face into Kav’s shoulder. He didn’t stir. So Sebastian sat up and looked around the room. It was dark except for a string of Christmas lights that wrapped around the ceiling. There was a shelf of movies and CDs. No books. He got out of bed to look at the collection. Mad Max, Top Gun, The Breakfast Club, Back to the Future. Hidden behind a stack of CD’s was Dirty Dancing. Sebastian had to cover his mouth to keep from laughing. He put it back in its place, not at all surprised.  
In the corner was a guitar. It looked well loved, with a sticker for the Black Keys and Velvet Underground and Apostle of Hustle. Sebastian touched the strings and felt their tension. He found his coat and got his copy of Pulp and left it on the shelf. Maybe he could do some good. Then he climbed back onto the mattress with Kafka. This book was not new. It had clearly been read by Franck before. There were little notes throughout and many of the pages were dog-eared. There was also a sketch of Danger at the back of the book.  
He read until it was time to go to work. Then he put his coat back on and stared at Kavinsky for about five minutes, not sure what to do.  
“Kav,” he said quietly. Nothing happened. “Kavinsky, your apartment is on fire.”  
He did nothing.  
“Kav,” he leaned his head against Kavinsky’s shoulder. “What are we doing?”  
Kavinsky breathed heavily.  
“Kav, I don’t like this,” he said quietly. “You make me stupid.”  
A hand reached up and fingers buried into his hair.  
“Is it morning?” Kavinsky’s voice was rough like sandpaper.  
“For me,” Sebastian said. “I have work.”  
Kavinsky rubbed his eyes. “God, this is awful. I don’t even have a hangover. Why would you ever willingly get up at this hour?”  
“Goodbye, Kav,” Sebastian said, sitting up.  
“Movie night,” Kavinsky said suddenly. He sat up. “You going?”  
“What are you talking about?” Sebastian asked.  
“Friday is movie night at Daft Records. You’re going.” Kavinsky said, pointing at him.  
“Fine,” he said, smiling.  
“I’ll see you later, Seb,” he said, smiling back.  
Sebastian stepped into the living room. Gaspard was in the kitchen, cutting up sandwiches. He raised an eyebrow when he saw Sebastian.  
“Interesting development,” he said quietly.  
“Shut it,” Sebastian leaned on the counter. “What are those for?”  
“Kavinsky,” Gaspard said. “And Xav. They have a picnic everyday before they go to work.”  
“Wow,” Sebastian said. “It’s almost cute. Until you think about it for two seconds.”  
Gaspard laughed. “Come on, we got work to do.”  
They got to Coffee Cats and dismissed the night crew, but Pedro was there too. He smiled at them.  
“You guys are never here at the same time.” His smile slowly began to fade as he watched Sebastian brush by him, avoiding eye contact. “Oh…”  
Gaspard put a hand on Pedro’s shoulder. “Don’t worry. Seb likes it here.”  
Pedro sighed and followed them into the kitchen. “You know…Kavinsky has stolen from this establishment before.”  
Sebastian tied his apron on. “I’m not getting married, for fuck’s sake. I know he’s an ass.”  
Pedro sighed. “But…Sebastian.”  
Sebastian put up his hand. “Pedro. You’re a nice guy. Shut the fuck up.”  
Pedro frowned, his eyes approaching puppy dog territory. He hung off the fridge looking dejected.  
Sebastian sighed. “I’m sorry.”  
“Sokay,” Pedro said quietly.  
Sebastian took a very deep and exaggerated breath in and out. He set the spoon he’d been holding down and turned to face Pedro.  
“I like working here,” he said, eyes on the floor.  
Pedro beamed at him. “Really?”  
“Yes,” Sebastian said and turned back around. He could feel Gaspard staring at him, so he flicked a bit of batter at him.  
Pedro leaned on the counter next to him. “Sorry for being weird, Seb. I just think you fit in well here and I don’t want you to leave. And, I say this with as much sincerity as possible. Kavinsky is a great friend. But there’s a reason he’s never stuck around the same place for more than a month.”  
“Did he really steal from you?” Sebastian asked.  
Gaspard and Pedro exchanged glances. Pedro sighed. “It was about two years ago. No one knew he was leaving, like always. He had packed his stuff in the middle of the night and took off. But when I opened the store…” Pedro hung his head. “All the milk was gone!”  
“I don’t understand…” Sebastian glanced at Gaspard, who was now patting Pedro’s shoulder. “How much milk do you even have here?”  
“It was a lot of milk,” Gaspard said gravely.  
Pedro sighed. “That’s not the point. I’m over it.”  
“He did leave some money,” Gaspard said. “And he apologized a lot. He tried to make up for it last time.”  
“Giving me two bottles of vodka doesn’t make up for it,” Pedro took a breath. “Anyway. Look Sebastian you’re a good kid. You should stay away from that nightmare. Stay here and make pastries and coffee and be good.”  
Pedro turned around quite suddenly and left the kitchen.  
“Is he okay?” Sebastian asked.  
Gaspard returned to the counter and the muffin mix. “Pedro is a complex creature. He gets very sad sometimes. And he’s very protective of Coffee Cats. And of us.” He grabbed Sebastian’s shoulder. “And you’re one of us now.”  
Sebastian tried not to smile. “Good to know.”  
“So, get me those peanut butter chips.”  
He poured the chips into the mix and they set them to bake. The kitchen filled with the smell of banana bread muffins and peanut butter. Sebastian took a deep breath. He did like it here. He liked baking with Gaspard. It was not something he ever expected to do, which might have been why he liked it so much.  
“Hey,” Gaspard started preparing chocolate icing. “Has Xavier seemed strange to you?”  
“Strange how?” Sebastian asked. “Besides being a bitch.”  
“Be nice,” Gaspard scolded. Then he sighed. “Nothing. It’s probably nothing. You going to movie night? Kav loves movie night.”  
Sebastian sighed. “I’m not going because he’s going. Maybe I like movies, huh? Did you ever think of that?”  
Gaspard smiled. “Of course. Sorry.”  
“What are they showing anyway?” Sebastian asked.  
“Oh it’s a classic,” Gaspard began lining a pan with flour. “Tron. Circa 1982.”  
“You’re joking,” Sebastian scooped some dough into the pan.  
Gaspard gave him a grave look. “We take our Tron very seriously around here.”  
Sebastian nodded. “You’re nuts.”  
“Well you have to come,” Gaspard told him. “We’re providing the food. I’m making Tron Cakes.”  
“What the hell is a Tron Cake?” he asked as they slammed the oven door shut.  
Gaspard smiled. “You’ll find out tomorrow.”

When Uffie got in, she beckoned Sebastian to the front.  
“You. Me. Drinks. After work.”  
He shrugged. “Fine.”  
She smiled. “Hold the line for a minute, will you dear?”  
She stepped out just as Franck was walking inside. Sebastian glared at Uffie’s back before turning around. Franck gave Sebastian a wave before giving Breakbot his order. It was busy that day, for some strange reason. Xavier was out, actually bringing people their drinks and food. Fabien was making noise, throwing things together. Sebastian stood awkwardly to the side. But he heard Franck tell Break that he wanted hot cocoa and ‘whatever Sebastian and Gaspard are making’.  
Sebastian slipped into the back and got a muffin fresh out of the oven. Then he brought it out on a plate. Xavier stopped him.  
“Excuse you. I’m the waiter.”  
Sebastian stared at him. “Can I just do this one?”  
Xavier folded his arms. “Why?”  
“I just…” he pointed weakly towards Franck. “Just wanted to talk to him.”  
“What, Kavinsky and Gaspard aren’t enough for you?” He snatched the plate out of Sebastian’s hands. “Talk on your break.”  
Sebastian scowled at Xavier as he walked away and dropped the plate loudly in front of Franck. Franck startled and looked up at Sebastian, smiling. Xavier pushed Sebastian back into the kitchen.  
“Back to work!”  
When he found Gaspard again, he let out his breath. “I think I know what you mean about Xavier.”  
Gaspard frowned. “I’m sure it’ll be fine. He’d tell me if something was up. He’s just getting used to thing…”  
The day melted away. When Gaspard released him, Sebastian grabbed his jacket and coat and put them both on outside. Across the street, Kavinsky was in the box office, handing movie tickets to a couple of guys. When he saw Sebastian, he smiled. He had the tickets in his hands and which was just kind of lingering behind the glass. He waved. Sebastian waved back.  
One of the guys tapped on the glass and Kavinsky appeared to wake up. He passed off the tickets. Sebastian smiled and kept on walking.  
Uffie came by his apartment around dinnertime with a pizza. And a bag from Dada Liquors.  
“We’re going to do this right,” she said, bumping the door open with her hip. “Come get this.”  
Sebastian took the box from her and set it on the ground. They leaned on the sofa and ate and drank. She made him tell her about college, about what Gaspard was like before Coffee Cats. She told him how she got into modeling. How college was the most fun and the worst experience of her life, and she’d do it a thousand times again if she could. She put her arm around him.  
“I like beer,” she said. “Not everybody does. But I do.”  
Sebastian shook his head. “You’re a lightweight.”  
“Am not,” she snapped. “Whatever. We need to talk. You have a problem.” She poked his chest. “A problem of eyes. Two many people got eyes for you. And you’re looking back. And it’s got me worried.”  
Sebastian set his drink down and leaned his head back on the couch. “Can I tell you something?”  
She grabbed his hand. “Baby boy, you tell me anything you want. You don’t need permission. We’re best friends.”  
He let out his breath. “I’m not as good as you all think.”  
“You’re perfect,” she said, patting his face.  
“No, Uff, I’m not.” He looked at her from the corner of his eye. “I’m really not.”  
She pouted. “Why? Because you have a questionable outlook on life and weird fashion tastes?”  
He shrugged. “Because I hurt people. I’m not good at staying with them.”  
Uffie leaned her head on Sebastian’s shoulder and closed her eyes. “You’ll stay with me, though, right?”  
He knew his words weren’t getting through to her. But he didn’t care. He put his arm around her and tried to keep breathing.  
“Sure.”  
She smiled. “Uffie and Sebby. Together forever.” Then she promptly fell asleep. 

Tron Cakes, as it turned out, consisted of red velvet cake topped with blueberry frosting. In the center was some vanilla pudding, dyed purple with food coloring. The color scheme of Tron’s world.  
“These are kind of awesome,” Sebastian said as the first batch came out of the oven. “They smell…beautiful.”  
Gaspard nodded. “They taste beautiful. Ready for some 80’s action drama?”

Daft Records was a pretty sizeable shop. And when it was shut down, everyone pushed the displays out of the way and brought chairs in and it became a veritable theater. Most of the chairs came from Coffee Cats, and the food came from there and the people as well. Sebastian sat down next to Uffie.  
“Why don’t we just do this at Coffee Cats?” he asked.  
She put her finger to her lips. “Don’t speak such treason. We eat food at Coffee Cats. We watch movies at Daft Records. It’s just how it goes.”  
“Not to mention, it’s Guy-Man’s movie, so we have to do it here,” Franck appeared next to them. He pointed at the spot next to Sebastian. “Anyone sitting here?”  
Sebastian shook his head. Franck slid in beside him.  
“I really like Kafka,” he said.  
Franck grinned. “I thought you might.”  
“I also noticed there’s some artwork in the back,” Sebastian said. “Is that Kafka’s or…?”  
Franck’s smile turned to embarrassment. “Uh…”  
“It’s good,” Sebastian said quietly.  
Uffie patted Sebastian’s leg. “I’m going to get some food. You two…do what you do.”  
She stood up and headed for the snack table. Sebastian looked at Franck, who was staring at his shoes.  
“How are you?” he asked.  
“Well,” he started. “I’m okay. It would be nice to see you again. Outside of work.”  
Sebastian nodded. “Yeah. Let’s do that.”  
Franck looked like he wanted to say more, but Kavinsky collapsed into the space next to Sebastian. He was positively beaming.  
“I love this movie,” he said, pointing at the projector screen that they were pulling down.  
“Why am I not surprised?” Sebastian said.  
Kavinsky threw his arm over the back of Sebastian’s chair. He wasn’t touching him, but it was possessive enough that Franck shifted away from them. Sebastian sighed and turned to Franck.  
“Tomorrow, what are you doing?”  
Franck glanced at Kavinsky before looking at Sebastian. “Sleeping off cupcakes?”  
“So you’re free. I’ll come over.”  
“Okay,” Franck said, a little wide eyed. “Better in the afternoon. I have a paper to finish up.”  
“What’s going on?” Kavinsky leaned over.  
Sebastian pushed his face back. “Nothing that concerns you.”  
“You concern me,” he said, his voice muffled from Sebastian’s hand.  
“That’s so touching,” Sebastian deadpanned.  
Kavinsky licked his hand. Sebastian wiped it on Kav’s jacket.  
“Watch the leather,” Kavinsky said.  
“Oh, I’m sorry, it must be hard to clean.” Sebastian leaned over and bit the shoulder of the jacket.  
“You little—”  
The lights shut off and Uffie came back, frowning at Kavinsky. “You stole my seat. Up.”  
He made sad eyes at her. “You have a cupcake. All I have is this seat.”  
“And there are seven hundred more chairs and cupcakes over there.” She pointed her thumb behind her.  
Kavinsky stood up. “You win this round.”  
“Bitch, I win every round,” she took a seat. “Cupcake?”  
She offered it to Sebastian. He nodded and she fed him a bite, then wiggled her eyebrows at Kavinsky.  
“Don’t rub it in,” he sighed. Someone shushed him. He slunk off to get a cupcake and then the screen blinked to life.  
“I’ve seen this movie roughly 50 times,” Franck said. “I remember when they only had it on VHS. It took six months to convince Guy-Man to buy it on DVD.”  
“Dark times.” Uffie said. She licked some icing off her finger.  
More people were filing into the store. He recognized Sonny and his two friends, and Steve, Uffie’s friend. He ran over and gave Uffie and big sloppy kiss on the cheek. But there were so many more people. Maybe more people than those who came to Sunday brunch.  
When Olle and Stefan got there, he understood. They both nodded at Sebastian, and then broke out the drinks. They had a vat of some bright blue liquid that everyone appeared to be very excited about. Uffie clapped her hands.  
“Save my spot,” she said and jumped up.  
He looked at Franck. “You don’t strike me as the drinking type.”  
“You would be correct,” he said. “I’m just…so cool that I don’t need to. You know?”  
Sebastian nodded. “Oh, of course.”  
“But in all seriousness,” Franck leaned a little closer. “You’re going to be dragging Uffie home after this. She likes to play drinking games.”  
“Ah,” Sebastian nodded, watching as the girl returned with two huge glasses of suspicious liquid.  
“You ready?” she asked and passed one to Sebastian.  
“No,” he said, staring into the glass. It was practically glowing in the dark.  
As the menu played, everyone settled back into their seats. Kavinsky reappeared beside Uffie.  
“They kicked me out of the front because they knew I’d be drinking,” he said. “You’re not cutting me out of this one. Same rules as last time?”  
He sat on the floor between Uffie and Sebastian’s legs.  
She grinned and looked at Sebastian. “Hot words are: Tron, Clu, Program and Encom.”  
“Also Flynn if you want to get really into it,” Kavinsky said.  
“And, the last rule is to drink whenever you see cheesy special effects.”  
Sebastian stared at them both. “This entire movie is one giant bad special effect.”  
Uffie and Kavinsky gave him demonic smiles. The movie began. Sebastian leaned over and apologized to Franck.  
“It’s okay,” he said. “I’m used to it.”  
“Because you’re so cool?” Sebastian added.  
Franck nodded. “Oh yeah.”  
The first lines of the movie contained the word ‘program’. Sebastian knew it was going to be a long night. At least the drink tasted good. Sometime later—he really couldn’t tell how long—it was starting to leach into his brain. He leaned back in his chair, amazed by the movie. He hadn’t seen it in a good 10 years.  
“Look at the fucking colors,” he said out loud.  
“That’s an effect,” Franck said, pointing at the screen.  
Sebastian took a drink and stared at him. “You’re trying to get me drunk.”  
Franck shook his head. “I would never.”  
Someone on screen addressed Tron and all three of them took drinks. Kavinsky leaned back against Sebastian’s legs. He started, like he didn’t expect Sebastian to be there. Then he looked at him and pointed to his ankles.  
“Is it okay if I…?”  
Sebastian shrugged. “Do what you want.”  
“Because I can move—”  
“They’re not going anywhere,” Sebastian said.  
Kavinsky inched over until he was sitting between Seb’s legs. His stomach flipped over for an instant. It was like he’d lost feeling everywhere else. Kavinsky kept watching the movie, happily drinking on. Sebastian could barely pay attention. His mind was hazy. The back of Kavinsky’s head was much more interesting than the movie.  
Franck nudged him. “They said Tron.”  
Sebastian shook his head and sipped the drink. “Thanks.”  
Franck was still looking at him. He was motioning to Kavinsky and back to Sebastian and raising his eyebrows. “You guys…?”  
“We’ll talk tomorrow,” Sebastian told him.  
Franck nodded. “Because you can tell me. It’s fine.”  
Sebastian grabbed his arm. “I’m not in any state to explain anything to you right now. Tomorrow.”  
“Yeah,” Franck said.  
Kavinsky leaned back. “You watching? My favorite part is coming up.”  
Sebastian nodded. Kavinsky rested his head on Sebastian’s leg. The hand that wasn’t holding his drink wrapped around his calf. Sebastian just focused on breathing. He wondered if Kavinsky knew what he was doing. If he knew how he was siphoning Sebastian’s control away from him.  
He didn’t like to have someone doing this to him. Except he did.  
Kavinsky was clearly entranced. It was the final battle scene. There were so many special effects but he wasn’t drinking. He was just watching. Flynn kissed Yori on the screen and Kavinsky clapped. A bunch of others gave little cheers. Someone wolf whistled.  
When the movie ended, Uffie turned to Sebastian.  
“Best movie ever,” her eyes were wide and bit damp.  
“You okay?” he asked, putting a hand on her hair.  
She grinned. “Uffie’s tired…Franck! Franck did you like it?” she leaned across Sebastian to grab Franck’s hand.  
He smiled at her. “Of course, Uffie. I’ve seen this before., you know.”  
“I have too,” she said, pointing at herself. “But it just…gets me, you know?”  
Kavinsky reached up and grabbed Uffie’s arm. “I know! I know!”  
They clutched each other and wailed about how great it was. Sebastian leaned away from them, but they were pretty much on top of him. He grabbed Franck’s arm.  
“I think I’m drunk.”  
Franck nodded and smiled. “It’s okay. It happens. You guys need help?”  
“I’ll help!” Kavinsky jumped to his feet. “I fucking got this. Come on.”  
He gave his hands to Uffie and Sebastian. But Uffie just kind of melted into the couch. Sebastian got to his feet, ignoring the fact that Kavinsky’s hand was practically burning his own. He quickly pulled away and they tried to coax Uffie back to her feet.  
Steve appeared then and rather easily scooped Uffie into his arms. “I got her guys.”  
Kavinsky turned to Sebastian gripping his shoulders. “You’re drunk. I should take you home.”  
“You’re not much better,” Sebastian said.  
“Well then we’ll be safer together. Come to my place. It’s closer.”  
“No thank you!” Pedro had appeared beside them and was pulling Kavinsky away. “Go take a cold shower, Kav.”  
Sebastian found this hilarious. He pointed at the two of them, laughing. Franck stood up and shrugged his coat on.  
“I’ll walk with you,” he said.  
“Thanks,” Pedro said. “I’ll try to get this one back in one piece.”  
“Why does Franck get to walk him home? I’m so much closer,” Kavinsky kept trying to state his case as Pedro led him away. Sebastian was still laughing when Franck got him outside.  
“You okay?” Franck asked.  
Sebastian nodded. “It’s just funny. Because Pedro’s like his mother.”  
“Come on,” Franck guided him back to the apartment building. It seemed most everyone was heading back to the same place.  
“How many people live here?” Sebastian asked.  
Franck shrugged. “It’s cheap and close and not too shabby. Lots of people live here.”  
Sebastian shook his head and lit a cigarette. “So weird.”  
“You should eat something,” Franck reminded him.  
“I want a cupcake,” Sebastian said.  
Franck laughed. “Maybe something more substantial than that.”  
“Pizza,” he said. “Uffie left me pizza.”  
They got inside the building and Franck pushed the button for the elevator. “Do you…are you able to…get home and asleep okay?”  
Sebastian nodded. His eyes slid shut as they stood there. Franck laughed at him.  
“You’re sure you’re okay?”  
Sebastian blinked. “I wish I had a bed…”  
“Yeah I know,” Franck said. “You can crash at my place…if you want.”  
Those words started to sober him up. He stuck his hands in his pockets.  
“I want to,” he said quietly. “But no. Not when I’m like this.”  
Franck almost smiled. “Okay. Then I’ll see you tomorrow.”  
“Yeah,” he said back.  
When he got back to his apartment, he smoked until his head stopped spinning. Except it never really did. He was stuck in Daft Records, with Kavinsky leaning on him, mouthing the words to the final kiss scene, not knowing that Sebastian could see him.  
He wasn’t sure he would ever calm down.  
   
11  
(pronounced Eleventy Billion)

Sebastian got to Franck’s place right before noon. It was the earliest he could justify getting there. Franck’s apartment smelled like coffee and bread.  
“Hey,” Franck let him in and offered him some of a loaf of cinnamon roll. “You’re probably sick of this stuff, since you make it everyday.”  
“Never,” he said as he took a piece. “It’s physically impossible to get tired of Gaspard’s food.”  
This time when Franck told him to get comfortable, he took the couch instead of the bed. It was smaller than his so when Franck sat next to him there was no way not to be touching him.  
“So, you’re in school?” Sebastian asked.  
Franck nodded. “Only until this May. Then I’m officially a real person.”  
“Ah, I wouldn’t be so sure about that. I don’t think I’m quite real yet.”  
Franck laughed quietly.  
“What are you studying?” Sebastian asked.  
“Creative writing,” Franck said with a strange look on his face, like it pained him.  
“You don’t look so happy about that,” Sebastian said.  
Franck smiled. “Well I guess I’m just used to people kind of brushing me off when I say that.”  
“Why?” Sebastian took more bread from him. He needed something and he didn’t want to smoke in Franck’s apartment.  
“Well…people don’t really respect it too much. Maybe because it’s so hard to make it as a writer. I mean, I also love game design, but when you combine those two things, people just kind of steer clear of me.”  
“Don’t worry about that,” Sebastian told him. “I mean, I just graduated and now I work at a coffee shop. I didn’t study how to make chocolate bread or cinnamon rolls or pumpkin vanilla cheesecake—”  
“Stop,” Franck said, shaking his head. “You’re making me hungry.”  
Sebastian smiled. “You know, Gaspard invited me over so we could try to make pumpkin waffles, to make ice cream sandwiches with them.”  
Franck pouted. “Why do you hurt me so?”  
“Don’t worry, we’re going to sell the waffles at the store if they work.”  
“Thank God,” Franck sighed. “I was worried for a minute that you’d just set the bar too high. Nothing is going to taste good until I’ve had those.”  
They fell silent then, and Sebastian didn’t have anything to say. He didn’t need to. He just wanted to be there. He leaned his head back on the couch and closed his eyes after a deep breath. He heard nothing for a minute, and then Franck shifted just a little.  
“Did you like school?” he asked quietly.  
Sebastian opened one eye to see Franck leaning close to him, studying him.  
“What part of school?” Sebastian said.  
Franck shrugged. “The last four years?”  
“That’s a lot of time,” Sebastian sighed, sincerely wishing he had a cigarette. Thinking about school always made him want a cigarette.  
Franck was laughing. “Did you like college? It’s not broad a question.”  
“Of course it is,” Sebastian said, his eyebrows furrowing. He slid his head over until he was touching Franck and closed his eyes again. “The answer is no. I didn’t. School is meaningless after a certain point.” Sebastian realized that that thought hadn’t really come into focus until he’d talked to Kavinsky. But he found himself believing it now.  
“Do you wish you hadn’t gone?” Franck asked.  
Sebastian touched Franck’s wrist. “I don’t want to talk about this. Tell me what you’re always scribbling in your note book when you come to the shop.”  
Franck made a noise. “But I don’t want to talk about that.”  
“Come on,” Sebastian goaded him. “If you’re going to be an author, than you have to be able to talk about your work. Tell me about it.”  
He sighed. “Well when you put it like that.” He fell silent for a minute and Sebastian tightened his grip on Franck’s arm. “I’m…gathering my thoughts,” he mumbled.  
“I’ll be here,” Sebastian said and let him think.  
When Franck finally spoke again, it was very very quiet. Sebastian didn’t make a sound.  
“Don’t laugh,” Franck told him. “It’s about a guy who wakes up in the hospital and can’t remember anything about the past 30 years of his life. Except that the world’s going to end in a year. He doesn’t recognize his girlfriend, doesn’t know who his parents are, or any of his friends or the job he used to have. As he tries to remember his previous life, he also becomes obsessed with the idea that he has to save everyone. He’s pretty much torn between the idea that someone wiped his memory because he knew their evil plot, or that he was depressed and tried to kill himself and caused damage to his brain.”  
“Jesus,” Sebastian said. “That’s heavy.”  
“Yeah,” Franck sighed. “Sorry…”  
“So which is it?” Sebastian asked. “Is he crazy or not?”  
Franck smiled at him. “I don’t know yet.”  
“Damn,” Sebastian said. “I have to read it now.”  
“You don’t have to lie,” Franck said.  
Sebastian sat up to look at him straight on. “I don’t have any interest in lying, Franck. I don’t speak if I have nothing to say.”  
Franck nodded, a little wide eyed. “Okay.”  
Sebastian’s internal clock told him it was time to leave. He was about to stand up, but he stopped himself.  
“Can you listen to me for a second?” he said.  
Franck nodded. “Of course…”  
“A lot of people start off their sentences with ‘listen’,” Sebastian started. “But I really need you to listen. Because you’re smart. And you might actually hear what I’m saying. But I’ve said this before and people don’t ever listen.”  
Franck looked only moderately freaked out. “What is it…?”  
“I like spending time with you,” Sebastian said. Then he drew in a deep breath. “I also like spending time with Kav.”  
Franck nodded. “Ah…so this is the part where you tell me that I should stay away from you unless I want to get hurt.”  
Sebastian stared at him. Then he stood up. “Oh, alright, if you already have it all down.”  
“Sorry,” Franck said. “You’re just…kind of a walking hypocrite. Because everyone is telling you to stay away from Kavinsky. And yet…”  
Sebastian sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t like relationships, Franck. I don’t get into them. That’s what I’m trying to tell you.”  
“But you like me,” Franck said, staring at him.  
“Yeah. I like you enough to tell you I’m not worth it. Because I also like someone else and I’m confused and I just got to this fucking town and I feel like I can’t breathe already.”  
Franck stood up. “Are you okay?”  
Sebastian took a step back. “I want to be able to keep seeing you. The only way I can do that is if we keep this simple. It’s complicated enough everywhere else. Can you do that for me?”  
Something shifted in Franck’s gaze, an equation being solved. He nodded. “I can do that. But, Sebastian?”  
Sebastian waited for the rest.  
“I’m not just going to sit by and watch you do something stupid.”  
“Yeah…” Sebastian wanted to hug Franck but a red flag went up in his brain and he decided not to. “I’ll see you around.”  
“Don’t be a stranger,” Franck said quietly as Sebastian left his apartment. 

Sebastian called Gaspard, on the off chance that he would be invited to his apartment and then perhaps he would see Kavinsky. Gaspard, however, decided it was best that they go to Sebastian’s apartment. He brought all the ingredients with him, but when he saw Sebastian’s kitchen, he looked quietly shocked.  
“Wow…you sure live sparsely.”  
Sebastian was sitting on the floor of the kitchen, smoking. “Shut it.”  
“You called me,” Gaspard reminded him, setting everything down. “Something wrong?”  
Sebastian smashed his cigarette into an ashtray and shook his head. “Just give me something to mix.”  
They set about mixing up the batter. Sebastian stayed on the floor as long as he could until Gaspard made him pour the batter onto the waffle iron.  
“Why are we over here anyway?” Sebastian asked. “Your place is better for this stuff.”  
“Truth be told,” Gaspard sighed. “I needed to get away from Xavier.”  
Sebastian shook his head. “I don’t believe it. Are you two having a fight? Jesus, if you guys can’t keep it together, there’s no hope for humanity.”  
“He’s just been so weird lately,” Gaspard said, staring at the iron in progress. A bit of batter dripped off the side. Gaspard wiped it away immediately. “It’s like he doesn’t trust me.” Then he looked at Sebastian in a way he’d never looked before. It was almost as if there was fear in his eyes. “How do I…”  
This was not a situation Sebastian was prepared for. “I’m sorry…I’m sure it’ll be fine.”  
“You don’t understand,” Gaspard said quietly, staring into the batter like it was endless. “He’s never been mad at me in my entire life. My. Entire. Life.”  
Sebastian put a hand on Gaspard’s arm. Gaspard pulled him in and leaned his head against Seb’s.  
“Thanks man,” he said, but his voice was still sad.  
“Do you want me to call Uffie?” he asked quietly.  
Gaspard sighed a barely audible sigh. “I don’t know. She’ll just want to cheer me up.”  
“And that’s bad, how?” Sebastian asked.  
Gaspard kind of smiled and let go of Sebastian. “Yeah, alright.”  
Sebastian texted Uffie. SOG. Save Our Gaspard. Ship Is Sinking.  
She texted back almost immediately. Hold onto your britches, I’m coming.  
Uffie arrived in a whirlwind, dropping her purse and coat in one motion and then slipping her arms around Gaspard’s middle.  
“Is my Gaspard feeling sad?” she asked into his shirt.  
Gaspard sighed. “Yes…”  
“Uffie knows what you need. Let’s eat and then we’ll go out.”  
They sat on the floor, eating pumpkin waffles and cinnamon ice cream. Gaspard took a deep breath.  
“This helps. But, Seb, you really need a table or something.”  
“Maybe I like the floor,” he said.  
“You know who else likes the floor?” Uffie asked, poking his stomach. “Hmm? Do ya?”  
Sebastian looked at Gaspard. “If I ignore her, will she just go away?”  
“You’re the one who summoned her,” Gaspard said. “It is your curse to bear.”  
Uffie was still smirking at her own joke. Sebastian stared at his plate as intensely as he could, trying to ignore her. She finally threw up her hands and yelled, “It’s Kavinsky! Guys, it’s Kavinsky…It was a sex joke.”  
“Thank you so much!” Sebastian picked up a waffled and shoved it in her mouth.  
Gaspard tried to hide his smile.  
*  
When the food was eaten, they took to the streets, heading in the general direction of Coffee Cats, where they made a quick drink run. Gaspard wanted hot apple cider, so they all wound up with some. Then they headed to the end of the block, where a clothing store sat that Sebastian had yet to visit. It was called Aokify.  
The interior was a nice blue. It was a pretty small shop, but it was packed with stuff. The front bay window had seating, where Steve sat, along with a bearded fellow in a denim jacket. Steve jumped up when he saw them.  
“Uffie, what are you doing bringing this riff raff into my store?”  
She pouted and opened her arms. “These are good people.”  
Steve picked her up with grin. “I’m just kidding. How you guys doing. Gaspard, haven’t seen you in a while.”  
Gaspard shrugged. “Sorry. Been busy.”  
“I bet Kavinsky’s keeping you guys occupied,” Steve said.  
The other guy stood up and waved at Gaspard. “Hey, man.”  
“Oh, hey, Alain, this is Sebastian, he works at Coffee Cats,” Gaspard introduced them.  
Alain reached out his hand and they shook. “So you’re the new baker.”  
For some reason, those words seemed heavier than they had any right to. Sebastian nodded.  
“Yeah that’s me.”  
Alain smiled. “Cool, man, you come here to get rid of those rags?”  
Sebastian realized he was talking about his clothes and glared at Uffie. “We are not here for me.”  
She smiled and waved him off, still in Steve’s arms. “What happens, happens, honey. Don’t fight it.”  
Steve finally set her down and she grabbed the boys’ hands and led them to the back. There were fitting rooms and a big orange couch that she made them sit down on. Then she disappeared into the racks, talking as she went.  
“I was here the other day,” she said. “And I saw something. And I said to myself, I must see Gaspard in this. Right now. Now I just have to…find it…here it is!”  
She quickly returned with a leather jacket, which she tossed at Gaspard. Then she disappeared again. Gaspard looked down at the jacket. He touched the sleeves.  
“Put it on,” Sebastian said.  
“It’s…so nice,” Gaspard noted.  
Sebastian rolled his eyes and started pulling on Gaspard’s jacket. He shrugged it off and then put the leather one on. Sebastian pushed him off the seat. Uffie came back with a bunch of things in her hands, but she beamed.  
“It was made for you!” she cried.  
Gaspard looked in the mirror. “Yeah…yeah I think I like it.”  
“Good. Excellent. Perfect!” she clapped her hands and then dumped a mountain of clothes on Sebastian. “For you.”  
He shook his head, not even looking at them. “No way in hell.”  
“You have to,” she pouted. Then she turned to Gaspard. “Don’t you want to see Seb in new clothes?”  
“No,” Sebastian said louder.  
But Gaspard was almost smiling again. “Seb it would make me happy. You need some new stuff.”  
Sebastian shook his head. “Only for you.” Then he grabbed the stuff vanished into one of the fitting rooms. Uffie was clapping.  
“Yay! Sebastian Fashion show!”  
He bumped his head on the wall before begrudgingly going through the clothes Uffie had given him. He immediately pulled out about ¾ of it, tossing it under the door.  
“Fucking no,” he said.  
“Why not?” she snapped from the other side.  
“Uffie those jeans are four times my size.”  
She huffed. “That’s how they’re supposed to look. They’re gangsta, God, get with the program.”  
Gaspard burst out laughing. Sebastian threw a silent fit as pulled on a grey tee shirt, and then a navy button up and then a blazer, and then the dark wash jeans. When he stepped out, Uffie groaned.  
“Oh my god, are you cold blooded or something? Those three shirts you’re wearing are separates.”  
Gaspard put his hand on Uffie’s head. “He still looks nice.”  
“Take the first two off,” she instructed.  
Sebastian gave her a death glare before shedding the jacket and the button up. Then she beamed at him and jumped up, tugging on the shirt here and there to make it line up the way she wanted.  
“You look fine,” she said.  
“That’s a nice tee shirt,” Steve added from the racks. He had appeared and was smiling. “Just thought I’d let you know. I always have to tell people when they look good. Gaspard, that jacket is great too.” He winked at Gaspard who smiled shyly back.  
“Oh stop,” Gaspard said.  
“Never,” Steve grinned.  
Uffie clapped and then smoothed the shirt down. She lowered her voice. “Kav would love you in this.”  
“I’m going to kill you,” Sebastian said just as softly.  
“I’m just trying to get you some action. Stop fighting,” she scolded. “Now put the other shirt on, without this one.”  
“You already saw it,” he said. “Why do I have to change again?”  
“You are just sucking all the fun out of this,” Uffie said. “You’re hopeless. At least buy the fucking shirt and pants. They make you look hot.”  
“Uffie’s right,” Steve said. “In fact, I wouldn’t feel right if I let you all leave without this. Just take it. It’s on the house. That goes for you too, Gaspard.”  
Gaspard was starting to shake his head. “Steve, we can’t.”  
Steve threw up his hands. “It’s already been done, my man. The clothes belong to you. You can’t give it back. Trust me, after all the food you’ve given me over the years, this is the least I can do. You too Sebastian, you look damn fine and any friend of Uffie’s is a friend of mine. Go forth my children. And be sexy.”  
He smiled and applauded as they left the shop with bags. Uffie was over the moon. Sebastian made her carry his bag.  
“This is your fault,” he said.  
“Yeah, don’t bother thanking me when Kav loses his shit. In fact, I bet you some of Gaspard’s fancy chocolate pudding that he won’t be able to stand it.”  
Sebastian didn’t know how to explain the situation to Uffie. So he didn’t. When they got to the ally that led to Gaspard’s apartment, they all stopped.  
“Do you want us to come up?” Sebastian asked.  
Gaspard shrugged. “No. I think that’d just make it worse. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”  
Uffie hugged him tightly. “Oh you smell like leather. It’s so nice.”  
He laughed and patted her back. “Thanks for taking me out Uffie.”  
He hugged Sebastian next. “And thanks for letting me use your apartment.”  
“Anytime,” Sebastian said.  
He walked down the ally looking very small.  
“I can’t believe they’re fighting,” Uffie said when he was gone.  
Sebastian shook his head. “I’ve known Gaspard for years. He always told me about his best friend Xavier. This has never happened.”  
Uffie took Sebastian’s hand. “They’ll work it out. They have to.”  
Sebastian nodded, but he wasn’t convinced.  
   
12

 

Sebastian and Breakbot and Uffie saw a movie after work the next day. Or they told Pedro they were going to see a movie. When they strolled up the box office, Kavinsky smiled.  
“Can you come out and play?” Uffie asked.  
Kavinsky shook his head. “I’m sorry…I’m working.”  
“Damn,” Uffie folded her arms. “Maybe we should see a movie.”  
Kavinsky made a face. “It’s Western week. Didn’t peg you guys for fans of westerns.”  
Uffie tapped her hands on the glass. “Yeah, no that’s all bullshit. Can you play a different movie instead?”  
Kavinsky shrugged. “Jon takes suggestions.”  
“Great,” Sebastian stepped up, hands in his pockets. “I saw you guys are going to play Pulp Fiction next week. Can you play my favorite movie? It’s called Pulp Friction.”  
Kavinsky narrowed his eyes.  
Uffie sighed. “You probably don’t have that one. When you played Terminator the other week, did you also happen to play Sperminator?”  
“Hey now,” Kavinsky lifted up his hands in surrender. “I’m trying to be good, guys, I’m at work.”  
Breakbot slowly meandered over to Kavinsky. “Don’t mind them. You like those tattoo shows right?”  
Kavinsky nodded. “You thinking about getting a tattoo?”  
Breakbot was staring off into the middle distance. “Which is the one that takes place in LA?”  
“LA Ink…” Kavinsky answered, glaring slowly.  
Breakbot leaned his arm on the counter. “Do you have LA Pink? It’s a delightful remake.”  
“I hate you all,” Kavinsky sighed. “You know what, I think I have something you might like here…” he reached under the counter and then pulled up his middle finger. “This is what I have. In high definition. Give me a cigarette.”  
Sebastian got his pack out and started mashing a cigarette into the slotted voice box. It wound up shredding into the ticket slot.  
“It’s not working,” Sebastian said. “I don’t know why…”  
Kavinksy thumped his head against the window. “It’s not fair!”  
Breakbot put his hand against the glass. “Don’t worry. If you want we can get you some coffee.”  
“Really?” Kavinsky asked.  
Breakbot nodded, but he poked hesitantly at the ticket slot. “As long as you don’t mind drinking it from in there. I don’t see another way to get it to you.”  
Kavinsky groaned loudly. “You guys are the worst.”  
Uffie reached into her purse and got her lipstick and drew a heart on the glass. Then she got out a box from Coffee Cats and held it up.  
“We’re not actually terrible. Look!”  
“It’s probably been poisoned,” Kav sighed but opened the door of the box office and came around to the street. He took the box and opened it and then took a deep breath of baklava.  
“I love you guys…” he said, staring into the box.  
Uffie nudged Sebastian with her elbow. “Don’t get too jealous, but I think Kav has fallen in love with that pastry.”  
Kavinsky snapped the box shut. His eyes settled back on Sebastian. Then his gaze wandered over him. He pointed.  
“You look different. Why do you look different?”  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sebastian inched behind Breakbot.  
Uffie grinned to herself. Kavinsky passed the box off to her so he could pinch the fabric of Sebastian’s tee shirt.  
“You’re…wearing a color…”  
Sebastian pulled away from him. “So what? Colors are fine…”  
Kavinsky had a bit of a dreamy look in his eyes. “I like it…”  
“Shut up,” Sebastian’s eyes were on the ground. “It’s not like I did it for you.”  
Then Kav’s face lit up. “You have new jeans too!”  
“Oh no,” Breakbot was inching away from them, towards Uffie. “They’re…having a moment…I’m scared.”  
Uffie put her arm around him and hushed him.  
“I needed them,” Sebastian snapped. “Sometimes I buy things. It’s not a big deal. Uffie made me.”  
Kavinsky slowly smiled until it had taken over his whole face. “Blue and grey…I like blue and grey. They’re nice colors. They’re not black.”  
Sebastian looked like he was collapsing in on himself. He just kept hugging his coat closer and closer.  
“Don’t you have work?” he asked quietly.  
Kavinsky took a step closer. “Can I come over when I get off?”  
“Fine,” he huffed, feeling claustrophobic. “Whatever…”  
“Okay…” Kavinsky was still staring at him. He reached up and touched the collar of his shirt. His eyes were on Sebastian’s neck, so Seb braved a glance at his face. It was weird. Kavinsky didn’t seem to be able to hide what he was feeling. It sat there, open for the world to see. Sebastian didn’t know if he admired it or pitied it. Kavinsky was still touching him and it made it hard to think.  
Kav laid his hand flat over Sebastian’s neck so that his fingertips touched his jawline. And his body kind of leaned forward, like he was thinking about kissing him. But then Kavinsky’s eyes met Sebastian’s again and something stopped him. He blinked and took a step back.  
“I’ll see you later.”  
Kavinsky headed back inside the theater, and Sebastian couldn’t move for a second. Until Uffie snapped her fingers in front of his face.  
“Yo, Seb,” she said.  
He shook his head and started walking past them, not stopping until he reached the end of the block. Uffie and Breakbot hustled after him. She grabbed his arm to stop him.  
“Are you okay?” she asked. “What was that?”  
Sebastian shook his head. “Nothing. I’m fine. That didn’t happen.”  
“Yes it did,” Breakbot said. “Allow me to inform you that that did in fact happen.”  
“In full view of Coffee Cats, no less,” Uffie said, arms folded. She gave him a sly smile. “What the hell is up with you two?”  
“Oh, no, do you think Pedro saw?” Sebastian looked over at the brick storefront. The little striped awnings hung over empty tables. He couldn’t see anything inside from where he stood.  
“Pedro just kind of knows this shit,” Uffie said. “But seriously answer my question. Are you guys a thing or what?”  
Sebastian shrugged. “Fuck if I know.”  
“Because it looks like you’re a thing,” she said, gesturing back to the theater.  
“That was undoubtedly thing behavior,” Breakbot added. “But also not thing behavior. Confusing…”  
Sebastian looked between them both before letting out all his breath. He closed his eyes. “I feel like I need to lie down.”  
Uffie laughed. “Do you want help getting ready for your date?”  
“Fuck you,” he sighed on the last word.  
“You should be thanking me,” she said and tugged on his sleeve. “Told you the new duds would work.”  
“The duds have a strangely powerful effect,” Breakbot nodded. “I would keep the duds if I were you. Or if I were a person who were attracted to Kavinsky. Which I am neither.”  
“Let’s get you food,” Uffie said, hooking her arm through Sebastian’s and Breakbot’s. She guided them to the bar at the corner.  
“I don’t want to get drunk,” Sebastian told her.  
“Oh hush. You can get some French fries or something. I want a drink, damnit. Kav won’t get done for like two hours.”  
They sat at the bar inside and the bartender winked at Uffie. He sidled up to her, white blond hair slicked back from his face.  
“Hey, sweet thing. The usual?” he asked.  
“Hey, Flux,” she reached out and patted his puff of hair. “Yes sir, I will have my usual, and the gentlemen will have whatever food you have laying around.”  
He smiled at her. “One Babe, coming up. And some food for the dour gentlemen.”  
He set to work and Sebastian stared at Uffie. “I didn’t like that.”  
“You jealous?” she asked. “Aw. That’s sweet. Don’t worry, Flux is too young for me. But he can dream.”  
Flux came back with a bright purple drink for Uffie and a plate of fries for the boys. Breakbot happily ate, but Sebastian felt too sick to eat. The nausea had set in as soon as Kavinsky had asked to come over.  
“Why does everyone keep telling me to stay away?” he blurted out. “Kav seems like he wants to be good.”  
Uffie and Break both set down their drinks and fries respectively. Uffie turned to him and put a hand on her shoulder. “That’s why we’re worried, hun. Because the last time he was in a relationship that lasted more than a night, it did not end well.”  
Breakbot was shaking his head, as if haunted by the memory. “Bad times…Other Seb was…” he struggled to find the right words.  
“Seb Tellier was Seb Tellier. Kavinsky was Kavinsky. It didn’t work,” Uffie said. “But we were dumb enough to think it would do them both good.”  
“I don’t know what that means,” Sebastian said. “Who is this guy?”  
“Hmm what’s the best way to describe Seb Tellier?” Uffie tapped her lip.  
Breakbot answered, “A sluttier, less dramatic Kavinsky.”  
The contrast between those words tripped Sebastian’s mind for an instant. Then he began to imagine this person. Someone who doesn’t attach emotion to sex. Someone who might not take commitment too seriously. Someone who could break a heart or two without trying.  
It wasn’t tough to imagine Kavinsky getting wrapped up with someone like that.  
“Look,” Uffie brought him out of his thoughts. “Kavinsky isn’t good at relationships. And I don’t mean to say that he can’t get into them. I mean, when he gets into them, he sucks at them. We’re trying to save you from that.”  
Sebastian nodded. “I appreciate the thought. I do. But I also kind of want to make these decisions myself.”  
She rubbed his shoulder. “Okay, but do me a favor. Don’t prove Pedro right. You’ll never hear the end of it.”

When Kavinsky got to Sebastian’s apartment, he knocked quietly and then opened the door, peeking inside. “Seb?”  
Sebastian startled at the sound. “Kitchen!” He called and rubbed his face.  
Kavinsky shut the door behind him and found Sebastian sitting with his back to the half wall, smoking. Kavinsky knelt beside him.  
“You okay?”  
Sebastian stared at the cigarette in his hand for a minute before setting it in the ashtray.  
“I keep not sleeping,” he said. “I think it’s starting to catch up with me.”  
“Why can’t you sleep?” Kavinsky asked quietly. He touched Sebastian’s arm with his fingertips.  
“You said you didn’t want to get into anything. But you lied, didn’t you?”  
Kavinsky kept his eyes on Sebastian’s arm, resting his head on the wall.  
“You do want to get into something. You just don’t think it’s a good idea,” Sebastian said.  
Kavinsky almost smiled. “Look at you, smart guy.”  
Sebastian tried to look at him and they finally locked eyes. “What if I can’t?” he asked quietly.  
“Can’t what?” Kavinsky whispered, worry in his eyes.  
Sebastian swallowed. “What if I can’t be around you without it…being something else?” He searched between Kavinsky’s eyes. “Would you leave?”  
“No,” Kavinsky said immediately. He took Sebastian’s hand in his and they clutched at each other, inching forward. “I don’t want to leave. But what exactly are you saying?”  
Sebastian gave him his other hand and turned to face him. Their legs touched. Kavinsky was pulling him closer. Sebastian felt the words in his throat but for some reason they were harder to coax out. He kept telling himself that it didn’t matter, that it was obvious. But his heart was racing.  
Sebastian’s hand clenched into a fist, which he pushed into Kavinsky’s open palm.  
“I like you, idiot,” he said, finally.  
Kavinksy laughed quietly and touched his forehead to Sebastian’s, pressing his nose to his face.  
“Sorry…I just wanted to hear you say it out loud,” he whispered. “Wasn’t sure you could…until now.”  
Sebastian sighed and his arms went slack. Kavinsky put his hand on Sebastian’s face. Then he pushed his fingers through Sebastian hair. Sebastian kept waiting for Kavinsky to say he had to go, that it wasn’t good for him to be there. Kavinsky leaned up and kissed Sebastian’s forehead and everything fell away except for the two of them. His lips stayed there for a while, pressing and pressing, as if he could rid himself of that terrible want. He pulled away slowly.  
“Your turn.”  
Kav watched him, that same emotion on his face from before. Fascination. Sebastian trailed his fingers from his forehead to his jaw. Kavinsky’s eyes closed. Then Seb leaned forward and touched his lips to Kavinsky’s cheek, at the edge of his nose. The feeling was somewhere between a surge of adrenaline and getting completely drunk. Sebastian wrapped his arms around Kavinsky’s neck, letting one hand come to rest on the back of his head. He was on his knees and Kavinsky’s arms wound up around his waist.  
Sebastian wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that. It could have been days.  
When he did pull back, he was looking down on Kavinsky’s upturned face. Before he could say anything, Kavinsky kissed his nose.  
“Good nose,” he whispered.  
Sebastian tried not to smile. He returned the gesture. It went on for a while, losing skin to lips. Kavinsky kissed his chin and Sebastian kissed his temple and so on, covering nearly every part of their faces. Except, both of them avoided their lips. It was a line they weren’t willing to cross.  
Somehow, between Sebastian’s knees starting to hurt and Kavinsky’s neck getting sore, they wound up on the kitchen floor.  
Sebastian smoked with his head on Kavinsky’s chest.  
“You really need a bed,” Kavinsky said.  
Sebastian exhaled. “I’m accepting donations.”  
Kavinsky stole his cigarette and took a drag. “God…this is better than alcohol.”  
Sebastian’s eyelids started to get heavy. “Stay.”  
“Okay.” Kavinsky put his hand on Sebastian’s chest. “Do you mean, like, stay on the floor or just stay in the apartment?”  
“What, does you back hurt? You’re such an old man,” Sebastian breathed deep, closing his eyes.  
Kavinsky laughed. “I’m sorry. After sleeping in a car for a while, it feels wrong to not use furniture when I can.”  
“I have a couch and a floor,” Sebastian said. “Take your pick.”  
Kavinsky sighed. “You’re so high maintenance.” Then he laughed again. “I guess you don’t want to go to my place?”  
“I would, if it didn’t require standing up.”  
“I got it,” Kavinsky slid out from under him and then tried to get his arms underneath Sebastian’s body. Sebastian jumped up.  
“No. Not picking me up.”  
Kav laughed. “Come on. I’ll carry you? Man, you place sucks for sleeping.”  
“Yeah and your place sucks for Pedro. Also I think Xavier hates me. Haven’t figured that one out yet.”  
“Xavier hates everyone. I’ll give you a piggy back ride.”  
Sebastian crossed his arms. “You can’t carry me the whole way. What if Pedro catches us and makes me go home?”  
“You underestimate my strength.” Kavinsky was crawling closer. “And Pedro can try all he wants. Besides, they have a spare room. He’d let you take that before sending you home to a bed-less apartment.”  
Kavinsky kissed his jawline. “Come on.”  
Then he turned his back to Sebastian and placed Sebastian’s arms on his own shoulders. He tugged on his hands.  
“Come on, come on.”  
Sebastian sighed and allowed Kavinsky to pull him off the ground and onto his back.  
“Get my coat,” Sebastian told him before resting his head on Kav’s shoulder. “Take me home…”  
He couldn’t see Kavinsky’s smile. 

They lay on their sides, facing each other in Kavinsky’s bed.  
“Tell me about college,” Kavinsky said.  
“What about?” he asked, and touched Kav’s neck.  
“What did you learn?” he asked, tracing his hand across Sebastian’s arm.  
“I studied government and history,” he said.  
Kavinsky smiled. “Fucking boring.”  
“No,” Sebastian pretended to punch his shoulder.  
“Then tell me more. Tell me what you’re actually interested in. I’m not going to make fun of you, I swear.”  
Sebastian closed his eyes as Kavinsky put his lips to his hand, and then his wrist, winding Seb’s arm around him and drawing him closer.  
“I studied fascism and totalitarianism and dictatorships. How they function. What it does to people. I wanted to know how it was possible that one man can control an entire country. Sometimes it seems like people want to be controlled. They want others to make their decisions for them, even if the decisions are painful. And yet, these systems always seem to end in rebellion. Humans don’t like to think before they act, is what I determined.”  
“So you studied control,” Kavinsky summed up. “That must have been fun.”  
Sebastian sighed. “I mean, not really. Most of my time was spent in the library.”  
“Or at the all girl’s school?” Kavinsky quipped with smile.  
Sebastian turned on his back. “Didn’t have to be. It was just…people.”  
“So you like being around people?” Kavinsky asked.  
“No,” Sebastian said and fumbled around for a cigarette.  
“No offense, but I call bullshit,” Kavinsky said and got his lighter for Sebastian. “You’re friends with everyone here.”  
“You really think I had a choice?” Sebastian lit up. “These people kind of don’t take no for an answer.”  
“You didn’t put up much of a fight,” Kavinsky prodded.  
“What do you want me to say?” Sebastian asked. “That I’m secretly over the moon that I have friends for once? I’m not. I’m still getting used to it. It’s weird to have people expect something of me.”  
Kavinsky sighed. “Well its not any better to have them expect nothing.”  
“That’s kind of on you,” Sebastian told him and breathed in deep through the cigarette. “But if it means anything…I’m sorry. I know what’s that like.”  
Kavinsky took the cigarette away from Sebastian before he could take another drag. He leaned over him and set it in the ashtray on the floor. Then he touched Sebastian’s face.  
“No more talking.”  
Then there was a knock on the door. Kavinsky completely deflated, collapsing on Sebastian’s chest. Then he grabbed a shoe off the floor and threw it at the door.  
“Go away Xavier! I’m busy!”  
“Not Xavier.” Pedro’s voice was like a cold shower.  
Sebastian was surprised to see the horror in Kavinsky’s eyes. “Shit,” he breathed. “Pedro! Just the guy I was looking for!”  
He sat up and looked down at Seb and was internally crying for a minute before he stood up. Then he grabbed Sebastian’s hand and made him stand up too.  
They went to the door, which Kavinsky opened wide. “Hey man!”  
Pedro was shaking his head. “Jesus, Kavinsky.”  
“No, no, no it’s not what it looks like,” Kav had his hands up in air. “I was just…entertaining Sebastian.” The look in Pedro’s eyes made Kavinsky gulp. “Just talking with him,” Kav corrected himself. “Without looking at him. And waiting for you to get back.”  
“Waiting for what?” Pedro asked, arms crossed. It all felt very familial to Sebastian.  
Kavinksy put his hand on Sebastian’s shoulder, in a very unromantic way. “Seb wanted to use your spare room. And not mine. Never mine. That would be…inappropriate.” All of Kavinsky’s breath left him in a rush and he took a step back from Pedro. “Sorry man. Just take him.”  
Sebastian glared at Kavinsky. “Seriously?”  
Kav gave a weak smile. “They got a nice spare room.”  
“Wow,” Sebastian stepped out his room and into the hall. Xavier was standing there, shaking his head. Pedro was having a hushed conversation with Kavinsky, which Xavier looked weirdly proud of. Sebastian stepped up to him.  
“Did you get him over here?” he asked.  
Xavier stared at him, unblinking. “You’re a bit of a whore, aren’t you?”  
Sebastian glared back. “I don’t like you.”  
“That makes us even,” Xavier said. “Get out of my apartment.”  
“Gladly,” Sebastian brushed by him and left the apartment. He put his hands on the railing and took deep breaths. The night air burned his throat. This was getting a little too weird.  
Gaspard started up the steps below and gave Sebastian a worried look. “Oh no, what happened?”  
“Your roommate is a psycho,” Sebastian said. “And so is Kavinsky and Pedro and everyone on this fucking block.”  
Gaspard reached the landing and handed Sebastian a cookie from the bag he was carrying. “Stay here.”  
Sebastian took an angry bite of cookie and quickly realized that Gaspard’s food was the cure all for him and he sighed into the sugar. Gaspard stepped inside. Sebastian tried not to listen. When he came back out, his face was in a frown. He knocked on the door to the apartment next to his. Bertrand answered, eyebrows furrowed.  
“Everything okay?”  
Gaspard tried to smile. “Can we come in?”  
Bertrand opened the door and Gaspard turned and beckoned Sebastian inside. As if on instinct, Bertrand began making tea for everyone.  
“Things are getting all weird, huh?” Bertrand asked.  
Sebastian sighed and pulled the sleeves of his jacket over his hands. “It would be weird if I had any concept of what normal was.”  
Bertrand smiled and set down mugs on the table for all of them.  
“Why is Kav so afraid of disappointing Pedro?” Sebastian asked as he wrapped his hands around the mug.  
Bertrand and Gaspard looked at each other. Bertrand turned away. “He’s your best friend.”  
Gaspard sighed. “Pedro is the closest thing he has to family. Despite all his craziness, every time Kav shows up, Pedro takes care of him. And Pedro never says so, but he likes having people depend on him. He just likes us. A lot.”  
“It can be hard to handle,” Bertrand said, but there was just the hint of a smile on his face.  
“Kavinsky adores Pedro,” Gaspard laughed. “It’s kind of funny.”  
“But they’re relationship can be difficult,” Bertrand added. “I mean, when a person you care about keeps making bad decisions, its hard to know what to do.”  
Gaspard grabbed Sebastian’s shoulder. “You know…I care about you too, Seb. You’re important.”  
Sebastian shook his head and pushed his chair closer to him. Then he leaned his head on Gaspard’s shoulder.  
“How’s things with Xavier?” he asked. “Sorry I called him a psychopath.”  
“No worries,” Gaspard said. “Sometimes he is. But so are we.”  
Sebastian nodded and took a sip of tea. “So is he getting better?”  
Gaspard took a breath. “I’m sure it’ll be fine.”  
“Tell me if you need anything,” Sebastian said.  
“I need you to get some sleep,” Gaspard groaned. “You got circles the size of golf balls under your eyes.”  
Bertrand smiled. “Spare room is down the hall, if you want it.”  
Sebastian thanked him and finished his tea with the two of them. They didn’t speak much, but they didn’t have to. The room seemed warm and Sebastian felt safe. Something about them just calmed him down. 

   
13\. OH NO. TOO SPOOKY

Sebastian didn’t sleep long. The room was nice, but too cold. Not to mention, all he could think about was Kavinsky on the other side of the wall, sleeping alone.  
When he got up, Pedro and Bertrand were at the able.  
“Ready for night crew?” Pedro asked him.  
“Always am,” Bertrand said. “Thanks for this.” He held up a brown paper bag. When he saw Sebastian standing in the doorway, he put a finger to his lips.  
“See you later, Pedro.”  
“Keep my store nice,” Pedro said.  
“Our store,” Bertrand called as he left. When the door shut, Sebastian didn’t want to make a sound. The apartment was so quiet. Pedro was in the kitchen. He didn’t speak for a minute, but small noises drifted up through the room. Then Pedro placed a plate on the table behind him.  
“Come on,” Pedro said.  
Sebastian slid into the chair, staring down at the sandwich. “Did you really make me a grilled cheese?”  
Pedro shrugged. “It’s kind of my specialty. I dare you not to enjoy it.”  
Sebastian felt the emptiness in his stomach and couldn’t resist. It was probably the best grilled cheese he’d even eaten. Maybe even the best sandwich. Cheese and turkey and garlic and pesto and everything that was beautiful and right in the universe. Or that’s what it tasted like to Sebastian.  
“Jesus, is there cocaine in this?” he asked.  
Pedro sat down across from him, smiling. “Of course. You know, that’s why Gaspard’s baking is so good. He just mixes cocaine into the sugar.”  
Sebastian had to laugh. “Everything makes sense.”  
“It must be weird working here,” Pedro said. “You know, since you’ve never baked before in your life.”  
Sebastian looked at him, feeling like he’d been caught, and then he just laughed again. “It’s really fucking weird.”  
Pedro grinned. “I figured. You know, none of us knew what the hell we were doing when we started. Except Gaspard, of course. God, when he showed up out of nowhere and asked for a job, I thought we’d been saved. I asked him to make me something, in place of an interview.” Pedro sighed and held his hands together like a plate. “He put together this chocolate thing. Somewhere between a brownie and a cake. And it was warm and there was peanut butter and just a hint of raspberry and I thought I was going to have a heart attack.”  
He rubbed his chin. “I told him he was too good for us, but he said he had a friend with him who also needed a job and that they liked Coffee Cats.”  
Sebastian put his hands in his pockets. “The first time I met Gaspard, he was in the student café at our school. I thought he worked there, so I asked if he could make me something. I mean, he was wearing an apron. And he just said, sure, and went behind the counter and somehow put together the most amazing pancakes I’ve ever had. Only after he’d given them to me, did he bother to tell me that he didn’t work there. But he said I looked like I needed good food. He told me where to find him if I needed more.”  
Pedro smiled and nodded. “Sounds like him. And, Xavier is what he is, but he gets the job done when we need him. Fabien had mono one time and he wasn’t allowed in the kitchen, so Xavier filled in for him. Didn’t know what the hell he was doing but he was always there, trying his best.”  
“Do you know why they’ve been fighting?” Sebastian asked.  
Pedro made a face. “This…has been a long time coming. Don’t worry about it. They’ll sort it out on their own.”  
“Then why do I feel like it’s my fault?” Sebastian asked.  
Pedro shrugged. “Do you like laser tag?”  
“Excuse me?”  
“Nah, you don’t strike me as laser tag kind of guy. How about disco? Do you like disco?” Pedro leaned on the table in front of him, scrutinizing Sebastian.  
Sebastian opened his mouth, but didn’t know how to respond. “Uh, well, I guess it’s okay.”  
“Interesting,” Pedro nodded. “Well, before I kick you out, let me impart one more piece of advice to you. Kav’s not a bad guy, not on the inside. And neither are you. But you guys…it wouldn’t end well for one or both of you.”  
“Pedro,” Sebastian sighed and stared at his empty plate. “Okay, you’re right. I know you’re right. It’s a fucking terrible idea. Trust me, I know. I’m asking for trouble. But you know the thing about trouble?” He ran his hand through his hair. “It wears a varsity jacket rather nicely.”  
“Ah, come on, man, I don’t need to know that,” Pedro was smiling. He shoved Sebastian’s shoulder. “I’m just trying to look out for both of you. Its kind of hard to do.”  
“Kav obviously cares what you think,” Sebastian said. “I guess I do too.”  
“Then let’s try and make this easier on everyone,” Pedro smiled weakly. “I don’t like when my people are hurt.”  
Sebastian nodded. “Thanks. I think.”  
Pedro put his hand on Sebastian’s shoulder. “You’re welcome. Now, get out of here. And don’t go next door. Trust me, I’ll hear.”  
Sebastian stood up with a sigh. “I’ll see you later, Pedro.”  
“Hey, Thursday’s Halloween. Dress up at work.”  
“You mean, like, a costume?” Sebastian asked.  
“Of course!” Pedro grinned.  
Sebastian turned around and heaved a sigh. “Great…”  
“See you then,” Pedro called as he left the apartment.

Sebastian stood outside and stared at the door to Gaspard and Xavier’s apartment. He pictured it. Knocking on the door. There were 3 different outcomes. Xavier, slamming the door in his face. Gaspard politely turning him down. Or Kavinsky, silently pulling him back inside.  
Chills raced up his arms. He walked home, trying to stop the scene from playing out in his mind. Curled up on the couch, coat wrapped tightly around him, he tried to sleep. He was just too cold by himself. 

Wednesday, Sebastian opened the door to Coffee Cats to the sound of yelling. Xavier. Sebastian crept towards the kitchen, the voices getting clearer.  
“Do you ever think he’s just using you?”  
“That’s my friend you’re talking about,” Gaspard said back. He wasn’t yelling. Sebastian didn’t think Gaspard could yell. “That’s why I told him about this place, you know? Because we’re friends.”  
“Jesus, Gaspard, he’s going to ruin you.”  
Sebastian wasn’t sure if they were talking about Kav or himself. He pushed the door open. They both turned to him.  
“Oh great,” Xavier rubbed his forehead. “Am I the only one who sees what he’s doing? He’s using everyone.” Then he looked at Sebastian with such condescension. “There’s nothing inside him.”  
Gaspard shook his head. “Xavier, you need to leave.”  
Xavier looked like he’d been slapped. Guilt washed over Sebastian in thick waves.  
“I don’t need this,” Xaviet said and rushed out of the room. Sebastian wanted to comfort Gaspard, because he was obviously not okay, but he couldn’t move. Gaspard had his hands on the counter and stared down at it. He took a deep breath and held it in for a beat too long and then exhaled.  
“Sorry you had to see that,” Gaspard said, turning to Sebastian.  
Sebastian shook his head. He didn’t know what he was trying to say.  
“Well…we have a lot to make today. Halloween’s tomorrow…” he sighed and kind of looked down at himself. Then he got a lump of dough from the fridge and started working on it. Sebastian inched closer until they standing side by side. He felt lost in the kitchen for the first time since he started working. Awkwardly, he began scraping together ingredients for cupcakes. Gaspard moved mechanically beside him, setting out pie crusts.  
“You know…” Gaspard said quietly. “We were going to go as a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I was the jelly…he was going to be the peanut butter, but maybe…maybe I just won’t dress up.”  
“Gaspard, you love Halloween,” Sebastian said.  
Gaspard shrugged. “It’s better when you can go with someone.”  
He stopped talking after that point. Sebastian couldn’t bring himself to try and get through. Xavier’s words were ringing in his ears. He’s using everyone. There’s nothing inside him. He didn’t want to admit it, but Xavier might have been right. Sometimes he felt it was true, that there was nothing inside him. He didn’t trust anyone. He regularly used people. The only thing he could trust was physicality. A body didn’t lie when it stopped talking. That’s why friends were so difficult. Why he never bothered.  
Then why did he feel so awful?  
When his shift ended, Uffie snagged Sebastian by the sleeve as he was trying to leave.  
“Hold it,” she said. “What are you dressing up as tomorrow?”  
He shook his head. “I don’t do that.”  
She looked mildly horrified. “Uhm. Yes you do. Everyone does.”  
“Uffie I want to go home,” he said.  
Her expression softened. “Something wrong?”  
“I don’t want to talk about it,” he mumbled.  
She put her hands on his face and then leaned up and touched her nose to his. “There. I’ve given you your nose power back. Go home, but I’m coming over when I get off and I’m taking care of you. Don’t even think about saying no.”  
She returned to her work, waving him away. Feeling a little stunned, he stepped outside. The movie theater was open and Kav sat in the box office. He had his legs propped up on the counter, but when he saw Seb, he straightened up. Sebastian could see his concern. Kavinsky put his hand on the glass. Sebastian gave just the smallest hint of a smile. It was enough. Kavinsky settled back into his chair picked up two pens and began drumming across the counter. 

An hour later Sebastian had his head in Uffie’s lap. They passed a cigarette back and forth between them.  
“I know it’s my fault,” Sebastian said. “I don’t know why, but I do.”  
“It’s just been a lot of stress for them I think,” Uffie said. “I mean, Seb-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named pretty much took off in the middle of the night. It was weird and sudden. Gaspard and Xavier were worried that they had done something wrong. And then Kavinsky shows up less than a month later and he expects to just move in and have everything be normal. And on top of that, Gaspard’s old best friend shows up and gets a job. I mean, baby boy, you caused a bit of a scandal.”  
“Scandal?” Sebastian repeated and took the cigarette from Uffie’s lips. “I hadn’t seen him in forever, how is that a scandal?”  
“Well, don’t be mad now,” she said, which automatically made Sebastian angry. “But a lot of us kind of assumed you two had been…involved in college.”  
“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Sebastian took a long breath in. Uffie took the cigarette back. “You know it’s not true, right?”  
Uffie smiled. “I don’t care, is what matters. None of us cared if it was true or not. Except Xavier. I think he just slowly started getting angrier that Gaspard wasn’t telling him something. And the angrier Xav got, the more upset Gaspard became, because Xavier wasn’t saying why he was angry. It’s a self fulfilling prophecy.”  
“Can’t I just tell Xavier that Gaspard and I are just friends?” Sebastian asked.  
Uffie gave him a look. “You really think he’ll believe you?”  
“Of course not,” Sebastian sighed. “But maybe it’s worth a try. You know he actually ratted Kav and I out to Pedro yesterday.”  
“What a little bitch,” she said with a smile. “I love him.” When she saw Sebastian’s face she patted his cheek. “Don’t worry, someday you will too. Now, back to you and Kavinsky being ratted out. I want all the details.”  
Sebastian sat up. “No.”  
“Come on,” she shoved his shoulder. “I’d give you details if I were fucking someone.”  
“Yeah I know,” he said and stood up. “But I don’t want your details. I don’t want anyone’s details.”  
They moved to the kitchen. Uffie sat on the counter as Sebastian set water to boil. He wanted something to do with his hands so he started making dinner. Uffie kept prodding him.  
“Come on, what did you guys do? Why was Pedro called in? Were you being loud? Oh shiiiiit.” She was cracking herself up.  
He set a bag of vegetables heavily on the counter. “No no no. Christ, Uffie, we haven’t even…” he sighed.  
“Haven’t what?” she asked, eyes wide. Then she sucked in air. “Oh my god, you guys are slower than a fucking elephant. You’re joking. He hasn’t even kissed you has he? Oh my god, what the hell is wrong with him?”  
Sebastian brandished a knife. “If you say anything about this to anyone I will actually kill you.”  
She smiled sweetly. Sebastian started chopping zucchini. He tried to explain to her why they hadn’t actually properly kissed.  
“It’s weird,” he said. “I’ve never done this before. Never actually taken things slowly. It’s…kind of…incredible.”  
He knew Uffie didn’t believe him without looking at her.  
“I guess it’s the anticipation,” he mumbled. “Because we’ll probably never get that far.”  
“I think it’s because you’re sexually frustrated and you think he’s hot.” Uffie laughed. “Don’t be so complicated.”  
He smiled. “I wish I didn’t have to be.”  
“You need to drink more,” Uffie said. “Tomorrow night, man, let’s go to Dada Land. Let’s get trashed. Forget about stupid boys and their stupid testarossas. It’ll be a bonding experience. Say yes.”  
Sebastian poured pasta into the boiling water and thought about it. He knew where he wanted to be tomorrow night. But depending on Kavinsky’s level of guilt mixed with his level of intoxication, he didn’t know if it was plausible. Then he looked at Uffie. She was smiling, hopeful. She actually wanted to spend time with him. It was weird.  
“Yeah okay,” he said.  
She clapped her hands. “Yes! Alright, this is perfect, I needed someone to complete my costume.”  
“You’re joking right?” he asked.  
She hopping off the counter and adjusted her dress before skipping over to her bag. She fished something out and started creeping towards him.  
“Did you ever watch Sabrina the Teenage Witch when you were younger?” she asked quietly.  
“Fucking no, Uffie, I didn’t watch Sabrina the god damn witch. What are you holding?”  
She had a bag tightly gripped in her hand. “Because the other day I was in a thrift store with Breakbot and Fabien and I found this hideous beautiful red velour dress and she wears one of those and so I knew I had to dress up as her.”  
Sebastian eyed the bag. “I don’t like this.”  
“But I can’t be Sabrina without Salem,” she finished and pulled out a headband with black at ears on them. “Will you be my Salem the cat? You’re perfect for him.”  
Sebastian’s face deadpanned. “No. No. Not in a million years, no.”  
She was still advancing. Sebastian tried to back away from her, but his back hit the fridge and then she reached up and tried to put the headband on him, but he just sank down until he was on the floor. Then she fit them onto his head. He scowled at her. She looked positively delighted.  
“I’m so happy!” she cried.  
Sebastian made a noise and Uffie patted his head. “You’re my favorite.”

After they ate, Sebastian was left to his own devices in his apartment. It didn’t take long before he’d taken to the walls. He found himself inventing recipes. Tweaking one in particular. He wanted to make something for Gaspard.  
His rang and he thought about ignoring it, but then it was Kavinsky and he answered without thought.  
“Hello.”  
There was an awkward pause. “Hey.”  
Sebastian scratched out a measurement. “I’m listening.”  
“Sorry,” Kavinsky laughed. “I don’t like talking on the phone.”  
“Then why’d you call?”  
Kav sighed. “Touché.” Sebastian could see him picking at his shirt or some other timid motion. “I guess I just wanted to talk to you. But I’d rather be looking at you.”  
“Well I’m about to try and bake something if you want to come over and try it. But you can’t tell Gaspard.”  
“Wait really?” Kavinsky said. “You’re inventing a recipe? He’ll be so proud.”  
“Are you coming or not?” Sebastian asked, not sure why he was getting angry.  
“I don’t know,” Kavinsky said. “I mean, I want to, but…you know, things.”  
“Pedro?” Sebastian asked.  
“Pedro…you…Gaspard…you…” Kavinsky let out his breath. “You…”  
Sebastian leaned his head on the wall. “It’s cold.”  
“I know.”  
“Come over,” Sebastian said quietly.  
Kavinsky’s breath was heavy. “Damn you.”  
“Damn yourself. Door’s unlocked.” Then he hung up. 

The next hour, Sebastian attempted to pay attention to the things he was mixing. But there was excess adrenaline in his system and he couldn’t quite focus. He had to fill the same ¾ cups of flour 3 times because he kept messing it up. It didn’t help that he kept glancing at his door, checking to make sure it actually was unlocked.  
A few blocks away, Kavinsky lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Xavier and Gaspard were sitting silently in the other room, but he knew at any moment they could start fighting. And he didn’t know if it would be better or worse if he were there. And then there was Pedro. Still at the shop. Waiting for the next disappointment. He sighed and blew smoke rings at the lights. He really should stay. He should try to diffuse the situation, try to be good for Pedro, just try somewhere. Sebastian didn’t need him.  
Sebastian didn’t need him.  
But maybe he wanted him.  
Maybe that was worse. 

Sebastian sat on the floor of the kitchen, peering through the cloudy oven window, watching the cake rise. But he found himself staring behind him, at the spot where Kav had kissed his face.  
He lit another cigarette and tried to stop hoping. 

Kavinsky played his guitar quietly, as Xavier’s voice rose. He’d already been banished to his room after trying to step in. He could have made a break for it then, but he’d gone back to his room for some reason. Now it felt weird to try and walk between them again.  
He got his phone out. Pedro answered on the 2nd ring.  
“Hey,” he said. “Everything okay?”  
“It’s getting bad. Maybe you can swing by.”  
Pedro sighed into the phone. “Got it.”  
A few minutes later he knocked on the door. Bertrand and Pedro stepped in and Kavinsky opened his door. Everything kind of stopped.  
“Hey, Gaspard, you want to help me with something?” Bertrand asked. “Trying to get this pumpkin soup right. Can you taste it?”  
Gaspasrd nodded and followed Bertrand out. Pedro stayed, sitting down on the bar stool by the kitchen wall. “Hey, guys.”  
Xavier folded his arms. Then he sat down on the couch. “Sorry, Pedro.”  
Pedro shrugged. “Xav, what’s going on?”  
He shook his head. “We’re working it out…”  
“Yeah, I don’t really think you are,” Kavinsky said. Xavier glared at him. Then he huffed.  
“I just…”  
Kavinsky flopped onto the couch next to him. “I know, Xav. We both know.”  
Pedro nodded at him. “We got your back, Xavier. Promise.”

Sebastian stared at the cake he’d made, iced and on a platter. It sat across from him on the kitchen floor. He stabbed a knife into the top and let it sit there. It stood defiantly without wrecking the cake. So he decided to methodically destroy it by cutting it up into small pieces. But he could never get the pieces to be the right size. So he just stuck his hand into it and grabbed a chuck and ate it.  
It tasted good. The way he wanted it to. He washed his hands of it and stood up. Then he stood in front of his door, with his hand on the knob, for about a minute, listening outside, just to see if someone was coming. To see if he could hear the elevator doors opening, or even if it were moving at all. But the building was silent.  
Sebastian locked his door, before curling up on the couch.

The knock came much later, waking him from a completely restless sleep. Disoriented, Sebastian pulled himself up from the couch. He half expected Gaspard to be on the other side of the door, telling him he was late for work, or his mother to tell him to get ready for school.  
He opened the door a sliver. Kav leaned in the doorway, staring at his white shoes.  
“I’m sorry. They were fighting and then Pedro came over and we had to talk Xavier down until, like, an hour ago and I had to wait to make sure Pedro wasn’t watching or listening or something and maybe I’m a little paranoid but…”  
He met Sebastian’s gaze. Something in Kavinsky’s eyes shifted. Sebastian’s heart rate doubled. He opened the door. Kavinsky walked in without looking away.  
Sebastian stepped over to him and touched the edge of his coat, and then pulled it off his shoulders. Kavinsky pressed his smile to Sebastian’s cheek.  
“Did I wake you up?” he whispered.  
Sebastian put the letterman jacket on. “Yeah. But I don’t care.”  
Kavinsky buttoned the coat up. “Fits you nice…”  
“Better than you?” he asked.  
Kav bit his lip. “I mean…I look good in that jacket.”  
“I know,” Sebastian said. “Besides, red and white aren’t really my style.”  
Kavinsky smiled. Sebastian put his hands on Kav’s shoulders. Kavinsky’s breath hitched. Sebastian leaned forward, but Kavinsky put his hand on Sebastian’s mouth.  
“Maybe…not…tonight…”  
Sebastian pulled away from him. “Why’d you come here?”  
Kavinsky smiled and put his hands up and then dug the heel of his hands into his eyes. “Because I can’t stay away, even though I really should.”  
“So what were you hoping to accomplish this evening?” Sebastian asked, walking away. He still had the coat. It smelled nice, and it was so warm.  
Kavinsky followed, sulking like a wounded animal. “I just…wanted to see you. Is that cake?” he pointed feebly to the mess that Sebastian had made on the counter.  
Sebastian shrugged. “Sort of.”  
“Can I try some?”  
He shrugged again. Kav approached slowly and took a small piece off the counter. He closed his eyes. Then he took another piece. And another.  
“This…is some…good shit,” he managed.  
“It was supposed to be for Gaspard,” Sebastian said. “I kind of…messed it up.”  
Kavinsky was shaking his head. “No, it’s so good. Did you try some? Man, eat some.”  
He picked up another piece and held it up to Sebastian’s face. Sebastian rolled his eyes.  
“Of course I had some.”  
But Kavinsky just held the piece there. So Sebastian tried to take it from him, and then he just pressed it to Seb’s mouth. Sebastian reluctantly ate the piece, but not without getting icing on his upper lip.  
“You have an icing ‘stache,” Kavinsky said, grinning.  
“Get it off,” Sebastian told him.  
Kavinsky searched his gaze for a minute. Then he reached up and held Sebastian’s face in place.  
“Don’t move,” he said. He leaned closer.  
“What are you—”  
“Don’t move,” Kav said again, more forceful. They were much closer and Sebastian could barely breath. “It won’t count if you don’t kiss me back.”  
That’s what he said before he pressed his lips against the spot of icing. But all Sebastian could process was the contact. Kav’s lips were touching his and he was a hypocrite and Seb didn’t care, because something was happening. He grabbed Kavinsky’s chest for support, bunching up his tee shirt in his hands.  
Kav didn’t move, and his words sunk into Sebastian’s mind. If he could just not kiss him back they could go on as before. Another night without disappointing Pedro. Staving off that eventual regret a little longer.  
But he was tired of waiting.  
Sebastian pushed back, just a little, tilting his face up. When their lips connected, all reason and logic seem to drop out of existence. There was no Pedro, no Xavier and Gaspard, no Franck, no other Sebastien, no one in the world but the two of them.  
There were arms around him and nice lips that tasted like sugar. Kavinsky was unbuttoning the jacket and sliding it onto the floor but Sebastian didn’t care because Kavinsky was warm and he could give that warmth to Sebastian. And then he wouldn’t be lonely.  
Sebastian’s arms were around his back and Kav’s went around his neck, and their feet were lined up with Kav’s on the outside and Seb’s in the middle. There was no space between them. Kavinsky tried to shift his face and their noses bumped.  
Kav smiled. “God, why do you have to have such a big nose?”  
“Speak for yourself, Pinocchio,” Sebastian said back. He took the opportunity to take the edge of Kavinsky’s shirt, but Kavinsky stopped him.  
“Hold on there, speed racer,” he said. “I don’t think I can take any more in one night.”  
“You’re joking?” Sebastian laughed at him. Then his face fell. “You’re serious. You’re in my apartment with no chance of interruptions and you want to stop?”  
Kavinsky gave a small smile. “I think we shouldn’t get ahead of ourselves.”  
Sebastian sighed. Kavinsky slowly kissed his cheek and then his nose and his other cheek.  
“Can’t this be enough?”  
Sebastian’s eyes slid shut. “Just…don’t leave, okay?” He hated how soft his voice became with those words. Kavinsky wrapped him up again, and put his head against his neck. Sebastian did the same.  
“I’m not going anywhere.”  
Sebastian tightened his grip.  
   
14\. ABOUT TIME. AM I RIGHT?

 

Sebastian’s alarm went off at the normal time. He reached over and shut his phone off. Kavinsky’s arms tightened around his middle.  
“Is someone trying to kill us?” he rasped.  
“No,” Sebastian shoved him. “I have work.”  
“Jesus Christ,” he pushed his face into Seb’s back. “How do you do this every day?”  
“I don’t. You can stay here if you want.”  
Kavinsky pried his eyes open and smiled and then coughed loudly into his sleeve. “Cigarette?”  
“How about some water…” Sebastian untangled himself from Kav and stood up. Kavinsky turned his face into the couch.  
“What day is it?” he asked.  
Sebastian filled a glass with water. “Thursday.”  
“Oh shit it’s Halloween,” Kavinsky threw his hands up. “I love Halloween.”  
Sebastian brought him the water and made him drink it all. “You should go back to sleep.”  
Kavinsky grabbed Sebastian’s leg and pulled him closer and then made him sit down.  
“Man it’s early,” he said. “It’s really fucking early. I slept here didn’t I?”  
He looked around the apartment, inching across Sebastian’s legs  
“Funny how things look a little different after you’ve spent the night somewhere…”  
“Are you just trying to get me to stay?” Sebastian asked. Kavinsky’s chest was over his lap, pinning him down.  
“No…” Kavinsky said into the cushion. “Just…wanted to stretch and you were in the way.”  
“Sure,” Sebastian said. “But I have to take a shower now.”  
“Sounds fun,” Kavinsky said. Then he swallowed. “Maybe I shouldn’t be here…”  
“Well make up your mind and release me,” Sebastian said, but he rested his hands on Kav’s back. He traced his spine and Kavinsky sighed. So he started drawing letters over his tee shirt. But he kept passing over bumps on his skin. Kavinsky’s eyes were closed. He looked nearly asleep, his breathing low and deep.  
Sebastian pulled up the hem of his shirt. Little white lines crisscrossed his skin, old scars long since settled. Seb put his hand over them and Kavinsky tensed up.  
“Sorry,” Sebastian whispered, but he didn’t move his hand. Kav was always so warm.  
“Oh hey,” Kavinsky said, voice quiet. “Did I ever tell you about the time I almost died?”  
“You may have left that part out,” Sebastian muttered.  
Kavinsky hugged a pillow to his face. Sebastian picked up drawing designs over Kav’s skin.  
“It wasn’t a big deal. I was in college and may or may not have gotten alcohol poisoning.”  
“That doesn’t tend to leave you with scars,” Sebastian said.  
Kav smiled. “Well, due to the aforementioned poisoning, I kind of…fell onto some stuff. With pointy ends. It was winter. There were shovels. Old metal shovels.”  
“Jesus,” Sebastian breathed, touching the scars again.  
Kav smiled and hiked his shirt up higher. “See this one?” There was another, fainter line etched across his left shoulder blade. “Xavier and I had a fight with garden tools when we were like ten. It got a little out of hand.”  
“You’ve known him since you were ten?” Sebastian asked.  
“I’ve known him my whole life. And Gaspard. We grew up in the same town.”  
“And the fight with gardening implements?” Sebastian prompted.  
Kavinsky laughed. “That is for me to know and for you to find out.”  
Sebastian sighed. “Okay, then what about this one?” He touched a divot by his right shoulder.  
“Ahh,” Kavinsky nodded. “Sunny. She’s a good person. Her best friend is a crazy bitch. Mistakes were made and plates were broken and I wound up in the infirmary.”  
“Do you have a scar for every mistake you’ve made?” Sebastian asked.  
Kavinsky looked at him again. “Our skin reflects the way we live our lives. I happen to live mine very physically. You, on the other hand, spend all your time in your head.” He turned on his side so he could Sebastian’s face. “You probably don’t have a scratch on you.”  
“Not true,” Sebastian said and looked away. “But now I’ve wasted all the time I can and I have to get ready for work.”  
“No, that’s not how that works,” Kavinsky sat up. “I told you something about my dark and mysterious past, you have to return the favor.”  
Sebastian tried to stand, but Kav was pulling him closer and sort of not wearing a shirt. But he had to get to the bakery for Gaspard’s sake. And he really didn’t want to get into his past.  
“Later,” he tried to say but Kavinsky wrapped an arm around Sebastian’s neck and pulled him in.  
“You owe me a story, or so help me I will make you miss work.”  
“What if I’m okay with that?” Sebastian asked.  
Kavinsky smiled. “Get your mind out of the gutter. I just meant I was going to trash your apartment.”  
“Asshole,” Sebastian accused.  
“Elephant nose.”  
“Is there a word for someone who develops romantic feelings for cars?” Sebastian asked.  
He smiled. “The word is Kavinsky. Maybe you should go to work.”  
“Oh, no, you were so very insistent that I stay,” Sebastian leaned closer to him. “Surely they don’t need me this early.”  
Kavinsky put his hands on Sebastian’s shoulders, but his back hit the armrest and then they were a centimeter apart. Sebastian stopped and made a face.  
“But you wanted to talk, so we should just do that, right?”  
Kav let his breath out. “We don’t have to talk…”  
Sebastian shook his head. “Self control, Kav. You should think about getting it.”  
He was going to stand up, but Kavinsky caught his shirt and kissed him. All the witty banter lost its meaning and he fell into Kav. He thought it would have lost some of its power over night. After kissing him the first time, surely it would cease to make the world stop spinning. But it didn’t.  
Three burning seconds later, Kavinsky pulled away.  
“You’re just as lost as I am.”  
He was joking, but it wasn’t funny. Sebastian sat back, stunned. It was true. They were lost. They were stupid. Then why couldn’t they stop?  
“Work…” Sebastian shook his head. “I have to get to work.”  
Kavinsky pushed Seb’s hair back from his face. “Don’t work too hard. It’s Halloween. Have fun.”  
Sebastian smiled and pushed his hand away. “Goobye, Kav.”  
Kav kissed his jawline. “If you get cold…come find me.”

The Coffee Cats kitchen was about the saddest place Sebastian could have imagined. The Night Crew had done a little redecorating in the front of the shop. The windows had been covered with drawings of pumpkins and bats and cats and every other Halloween cliché they could think of. There were fake cobwebs all over the place and big plastic pumpkins and bowls of candy. The menu boards had been redone. It was orange and black all over.  
And then there was Gaspard, standing in the kitchen by himself, in a giant sandwich costume. He was a piece of bread with jelly spread on it, mixing up thick orange batter.  
“Gaspard,” Sebastian spoke quietly. “You okay?”  
Gaspard nodded. “Of course.” His voice lacked conviction. “Today we are making too spooky chocolate muffins with a pumpkin glaze. Pumpkin scones and also pumpkin pie. Everyone loves pumpkin pie.”  
“Sounds great, Gaspard…I actually wanted to try something out too,” Sebastian said, standing beside him. “Is that okay?”  
Gaspard looked at him. “You’re not in costume.”  
He smiled. “Don’t worry. Uffie’s got that covered. How about it?”  
Gaspard almost smiled back. “Yeah.”  
Shortly after, Uffie arrived in full 90’s attire. Red velour dress, as promised, and her hair done in a much shorter version of the old television show star. She even had a little pin of a broomstick. She brought Sebastian out front as he waited for his cake to bake and set him on the counter. Then she put the cat ears back on him and began adorning him with a black nose and whiskers.  
“So…” she said. “You ready for tonight?”  
He nodded. “Whatever you want, Uff.”  
She grinned. “Oh it’ll be awesome. The bar is having a costume party and we’re going to take the fucking cake.”  
She swiped another whisker onto his face and then gave him a thumbs up. “Perfect. My little Salem. Too cute.”  
Sebastian heaved a sigh. “You owe me.”  
“Of course,” she gave him her hand and he slid off the counter. Then she patted his head. When he turned away, Franck was standing at the counter. He grinned when he saw Sebastian.  
“Getting into the spirit, huh?”  
Franck himself was dressed in his red plaid shirt as usual; only he had little antlers on his head.  
“You know, Christmas is in like two months,” Sebastian told him.  
“It’s, uh, it’s a costume,” Franck said sheepishly. “Sweet Tooth. He’s from…a comic…never mind.”  
“No, I actually think I know what you’re talking about,” Sebastian said. He tugged on one of Franck’s antlers. Franck flicked his cat ear in return.  
“Are you and…Kavinsky matching?” he asked.  
“You’re joking right?” Uffie sidled up next to Seb and gave Franck a cup of hot chocolate. “Kav’s the same thing for Halloween every damn year.”  
“And you are?” he asked.  
Uffie beamed and threw her arm around Sebastian. “Aren’t we adorable? He’s my Salem.”  
“And that would make you Sabrina,” Franck smiled. “Kudos. That’s impressive.”  
She curtsied. “Now if only I had a Harvey…”  
“You have a Sebastian,” Franck said, gesturing to him. “Much better.”  
“Aw, you know just what to say,” she smiled.  
“So, how have you been?” Sebastian said. “I feel bad. I haven’t seen you in a while.”  
Franck shrugged it off. “I’m fine. Nothing major happening. But, you know you’re allowed to stop by and see me. As a friend. I am capable of being your friend.”  
Seb nodded. “I know. Thanks.”  
“So I’ll see you around.” Franck said and nodded. Seb nodded back. He raised his cup to him before taking a seat.  
When Sebastian’s cake was done, he set it aside and started mixing things up for frosting. Gaspard kept glancing at him as he grated lemons into a bowl. Slowly but surely he came to stand behind Sebastian, his costume making it hard for him to stand next to him.  
“That smells pretty good.”  
“Good,” Sebastian said. “It’s for you.”  
“Me?” Gaspard stared at him.  
Sebastian nodded and handed him the bowl of icing. “I know you prefer to ice your own stuff.”  
Gaspard stared with wide eyes down at the pasty. Then gave Sebastian a one armed hug. “You’re a good friend.” Sebastian tried not to laugh at the costume.  
“Thanks. I just hope everyone realizes we are, in fact, only friends.”  
Gaspard smiled. Then he leaned real close to the cake, studying it. “Three layers, that’s impressive. Who’s recipe did you use?”  
Seb shrugged. “I didn’t…”  
“You made this from scratch? By yourself?”  
“I mean, I looked some stuff up for reference but…”  
Gaspard was beaming now, like a proud parent. “Never thought I’d see the day. Why don’t you ice it?”  
He passed the bowl back. Sebastian took the icing knife and set to work. Gaspard stood silently by, looking insane in his costume. Sebastian remembered he looked like a cat, and he couldn’t get the image out of his head. He started laughing as he iced. But once he started he couldn’t stop.  
“What’s up?” Gaspard asked, laughing at Sebastian’s laughter.  
Sebastian looked at him. “Just a cat and a sandwich making a cake. No big fucking deal.”  
The laughter wouldn’t stop. He set the bowl down and grabbed Gaspard’s arm for support. Gaspard was laughing too now. They held onto each other and laughed themselves silly. Sebastian wound up in a coughing fit, and that made Gaspard laugh harder. When Sebastian could breathe again, he pointed at Gaspard.  
“You look ridiculous,” he rasped and laughed.  
The kitchen door burst open. Xavier was standing in the entrance, pointing at Sebastian.  
“Don’t laugh at my sandwich,” he said darkly.  
Sebastian sobered up, shaking his head. Gaspard raised his hands up.  
“Xavier, it’s okay.”  
Xavier stepped inside. “No it’s not okay, you idiot.”  
Gaspard was looking at him, concern evident on his face. “Xav, Sebastian and I were just joking. You know it’s not anything more than that.”  
“I don’t like it,” Xavier went on. He had a bit of crazy look in his eyes. “I don’t like when people laugh at you. Why is that a bad thing?”  
Sebastian had the distinct feeling that he should leave the room, fast. But that would mean walking in front of them. So he just inched back.  
“It’s not a bad thing,” Gaspard said calmly. “You just need to understand that I am friends with other people and sometimes I want to be with them. It doesn’t mean I’m not friends with you too.”  
Xavier was staring at him. “Yeah but…I want to be with you all the time.” He pushed his fingers into his hair. “It drives me crazy. And to have him show up out of nowhere and to see you wanting to take care of him,” he gestured back to Sebastian. “Sometimes I just hate him. Why do I feel like this?” He was nearly shouting at this point.  
Gaspard took a step closer. “Xavier, being in college was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. You want to know why? Because I was half way across the country form you and I missed you. When I met Sebastian, things got easier because I had someone to talk to.”  
“Yeah, but why do you like him?” Xavier asked. “What does he have that I don’t?”  
Gaspard inhaled deeply and exhaled at his shoes. “Xavier, I became friends with him because he reminded me of you.”  
That answer obviously stunned Xavier. Sebastian remembered when Gaspard had said that same thing to him, way back when. He hadn’t realized at the time how much meaning was in that statement. Sebastian internally sighed. He was sure it was over now. Gaspard had surely said the right thing and they would reconcile and everything—  
Xavier rushed over to Gaspard and grabbed his face. Then he crushed their faces together. He was pretty sure it was meant to be a kiss. Sebastian had to stop himself from audibly gasping oh fuck. He covered his mouth, wishing he could melt into the walls. He was not supposed to see this.  
And then he kept holding onto his mouth, to stop from laughing at the sight of Xavier in his apron, kissing a sandwich.  
A few seconds later, Xavier stepped back from him. Gaspard touched his mouth.  
“Xavier…”  
Xavier turned his back to Gaspard. “That was a mistake.” Then he rushed out of the room.  
When Gaspard came back to earth, he turned very slowly to Sebastian. His hand was still delicately placed on his own mouth.  
“He…did that…what?”  
Sebastian walked over to him. “Are you okay?”  
Gaspard grabbed at his chest, looking down. “Get me out of this sandwich, I can’t breathe.”  
Sebastian helped him pull the costume over his head. Then he helped Gaspard onto the floor.  
“Gaspard are you okay?” Sebastian asked him again.  
Gaspard was shaking his head. “How…” then he grabbed Sebastian’s arm. “How did I not know?!”  
“To be fair,” Sebastian said. “I don’t think he knew until a minute ago.”  
Gaspard sniffed and leaned his back against the wall. “I’m getting sick. The stress of fighting with him was making me sick. And now…this? How am I supposed to do this?”  
Sebastian sat next to him and put his hands behind his head. “Maybe you just go with it.”  
“Go with it?” he stared wildly at Sebastian. “You mean…like that?”  
Sebastian smiled. “I remember when you told me I reminded you of him. I asked you to tell me about him, because you were surely mistaken. You told me he was your best friend. The fiercest friend you’d ever had. You said he was passionate and maybe a little emotional, but that he was the most loyal person you’d ever met. And that you missed him more than anything because in comparison to him, everyone else fell flat.”  
Seb looked back at Gaspard. “So, yeah, maybe you should just go with it.”  
Gaspard stared at his knees. He wound his arms around them and then took a breath and then sneezed.  
“I don’t feel so good,” he mumbled.  
Sebastian put his hand to Gaspard’s forehead. “You have a fever, Gaspard.”  
He sighed and closed his eyes. “I don’t want to go home.”  
“You’re joking right? You’d never let me into your kitchen if I had a fever. You have to go home and get some rest.”  
Gaspard let Sebastian bring him to his feet. “Are you sure you’ll be okay by yourself? It’s Halloween, we’ll get busy.”  
“I’ll be fine,” Sebastian said. “You do this all the time. I think I can handle it.”  
Gaspard turned and looked at the kitchen again. “Okay fine…but can I bring the cake home?”

Sebastian got Gaspard settled back into his bed. As he was leaving Gaspard’s room, Xavier was peering at him from his own doorway.  
“What’s…going on?” he asked suspiciously. “Is he mad at me?”  
Sebastian walked up to Xavier and pulled him out of his room, setting him on a barstool. “Gaspard is sick. He needs you to take care of him. You should get soup. And medicine. I think he’s getting a bad cold. He used to get them at school at lot if he was stressed out. So you have to make sure he gets rest and food and that he’s in a stress free environment. Got it?”  
Xavier looked dumbfounded. “How are you not pissed at me?”  
Sebastian shook his head. “If Gaspard says you’re good, then you’re good. That’s all I care about. Now take care of him.”  
Xavier was nodding. Sebastian turned to go. As soon as he had the door open, Kavinsky was standing on the landing with his keys out. Sebastian quickly stepped outside and shut the door.  
“You’re a cat,” Kavinsky stated. He was slowly grinning. “Uffie made you a cat. Our little black cat.”  
He touched Sebastian’s face around the paint. Sebastian shrugged away. “What are you supposed to be? A douchebag football player?”  
Kavinsky smiled. “Haven’t put my costume on. That’s why I’m here.”  
“Don’t go in there,” Sebastian moved in front of the door.  
“Why?” Kav asked. “Did you break something?”  
Sebastian looked at the door. “Gaspard and Xavier are…working it out.”  
Kav’s eyes went wide. “Holy shit…did you fix them? Tell me how! You’re a genius. God I could kiss you.”  
Then he grabbed Sebastian’s coat and pressed his lips against his. The shock of it froze Sebastian for a minute before he quickly thawed out and wrapped his arms around him. The fervor began to fade and then everything slowed down. Kavinsky ran his hand through Sebastian’s hair, knocking the cat ears off. Sebastian automatically found Kav’s waist, hoping just to graze his actual skin between the edges of his shirt and jeans. He rested his hand on the small of his back, finding the scars again like landmarks.  
“EHEM,” the sound of someone’s voice startled them apart. Uffie was leaning against the building, smoking. “Damn, just getting to the good part.”  
“Mother of Christ,” Kavinsky pulled away to lean against the railing for air. “I thought you were Pedro. I thought those would be the last words I’d ever hear.”  
Sebastian couldn’t quite speak for the adrenaline rushing through his system.  
“You two need to be more careful,” she said, pointing at them. “Never know who’s going to roam these alleys. Oh and Seb, you have sex hair.” Uffie strutted away.  
Sebastian tried to pat down his hair. He glanced at Kavinsky and noticed black paint on his face. He reached up and smudged some of it with his thumb.  
“You got…”  
“Yeah yours is all messed up,” Kav said with a smile. He leaned down and, very lightly, kissed each of his lips. “Can I get you after work?”  
Sebastian’s brain was short-circuiting; “I’m…supposed to meet with Uffie.”  
“It’ll be quick,” he said. “Promise.”  
Sebastian nodded and then Kavinsky pulled away. “Then I’ll see you later. Save me something sweet.” He turned to open his door, very quietly, and then gave Sebastian a smile. “And get your mind out of the gutter.”  
Sebastian hurried down the steps. Uffie was waiting for him with a paper towel and more paint. She fixed up his face but then pouted and put her hands on her hips. “Where are you ears?”  
He touched his head and cursed himself. He jogged back up the steps and found them on the landing in front of the door. Then, for curiosity’s sake, he pressed his ear to the door. He couldn’t hear anything, except the faint sounds of guitar. 

Xavier stood in the middle of the apartment, staring at Gaspard’s closed door for a minute. He wanted to go inside, but also Gaspard was in there and suddenly things were complicated. So he stared at the door for a little longer.  
Then he searched through their kitchen, looking for medicine and something for Gaspard to eat. He wound up with his arms full, standing back in front of Gaspard’s door, staring it down. He took a deep breath. Gaspard let out a throat wrenching cough from the other side. Xavier knocked.  
“Seb?” Gaspard asked. “You forget something?”  
Xavier pushed the door open but didn’t look at Gaspard. “I have things…he told me you needed things.”  
He started setting bottles down on Gaspard’s night stand. “I don’t know which of these do what so I just brought it all. And I didn’t know if you have water, so I brought a water bottle. And also bread. I wasn’t sure what you wanted so…”  
He set a loaf of bread down on top of everything. “There.”  
Gaspard lay on his side in his bed, staring at the mountain of stuff. Then he pointed his finger towards one of the bottles. “The green stuff. A teaspoon of it. Would be nice. If you don’t mind.”  
Xavier picked up the bottle and raced out of the room, looking for a teaspoon, but he got impatient and just grabbed a regular spoon. Then he poured it out but his hands were shaking and he wound up spilling it all over the floor.  
He seethed silently. Gripping the spoon as steady as he could, he tiptoed back into Gaspard’s room.  
“Is this enough?” he asked.  
Gaspard sat upright, laughing. “You could have just given me the spoon and the bottle.”  
“Well…” Xavier huffed. “I already did it.”  
Gaspard closed his mouth over the spoon. Then he laid back and pulled the covers up over him.  
“Thanks, Cavier,” he said with a smile.  
Xavier stood there a minute before sitting on the edge of the bed. Cavier had been what Kavinsky and Gaspard had called him for about 5 years when they were kids. No one else could pronounce Xavier correctly. So they gave him a nickname. It pissed him off endlessly, but also it didn’t, because it meant they were around to call him something.  
“You’re welcome asshole.”  
Gaspard laughed into the pillow. “I don’t want to get you sick, Xav.”  
Xavier shrugged. “I don’t really care.”  
“Figured you wouldn’t,” Gaspard said. So he reached behind him and pushed the covers aside.  
Xavier stared, disbelief in his eyes. “Are you sure?”  
Gaspard closed his eyes. “How am I supposed to get better without my Xavier?”  
Xavier took a deep breath and kept it in. He tried to keep the feeling those words created in his chest. Then he slowly exhaled and walked to the other side of the bed and crawled in beside Gaspard. But he didn’t know what to do. The situation was too unreal. He just laid in Gaspard’s bed and stared at the ceiling. It would have been enough, just to exist side by side. He would have accepted it without qualm. But then Gaspard turned and laid his head on Xavier’s chest.  
Xavier smiled.

 

15

“So, how are you celebrating Halloween?” Pedro leaned on the counter. He was dressed as a giraffe in a spotted onesie with a hood adorned with ears and antlers. Sebastian threw bread into a bag for the guy from the bar, Flux, and Dillon from Joel’s fucking pizza place. They were dressed as Slitherin Students from Hogwarts.  
“Uffie and I are going out,” he told Pedro.  
“Damn straight,” she winked at him. “When am I picking you up? Shall I get there as soon as I get off work, or maybe I’ll cut out early?”  
He smiled, but then he remembered Kavinsky had plans for him. “Uh, maybe give me some time? I…want…to nap…” he said lamely.  
Pedro raised an eyebrow. Uffie looked at him skeptically. “Sure. Nap. Yeah. Text me when you’re up.” Then when Pedro couldn’t see her face she over dramatically mouthed details at him.  
“Well, surely before you two go out, you’ll be stopping over for dinner. Right?” he asked with a big smile.  
Uffie froze up and then mechanically nodded. “Yes. Dinner. I wouldn’t forget about that.” She laughed and smiled at Sebastian. “We’ll go out after dinner.”  
Pedro patted Sebastian’s shoulder. “See you kids later.”

Sebastian got off work and noticed the small British girl in the box office. She waved at him very purposefully, so he crossed the street. She was dressed as Alice and she had decorated the box office to look a bit like Wonderland.  
“Hello,” she said with a smile. “Uhm, I was told to give you something if you left the building. Here.”  
She slipped a note through the ticket slot.  
Sebastian tried not to roll his eyes. “Jesus.”  
She laughed. “Kavinsky’s a weird one, isn’t he?”  
He hid his smile behind the note. She laughed again.  
Come to the bloody bakery.  
“Why couldn’t he just call or text or anything but this?” he asked.  
“He’s paranoid,” she suggested with a shrug. “Or he’s completely mad.”  
“Probably the latter,” he folded the note up and shoved it in his pocket. “Thanks…”  
She grinned. “No problem. You make a good Salem.”  
There was a knock at the box office door and a guy dressed in purple stripes stepped inside. He had a smile painted across his whole face and purple cat ears. Ellie’s Chesire cat.  
“Hey John,” she said.  
“So you and Uffie got guys to dress up as cats for you?” Sebastian asked.  
Ellie smiled and clasped her hands together. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  
John looked at Sebastian and raised an eyebrow. “You too?”  
“Yeah,” Sebastian said. “I’ll see you guys later.”

The Bloody Bakery was even more decked out than normal. There was fake blood and severed heads and giants spiders everywhere. All their pastries were shaped like body parts. The guy behind the counter was wearing the same mask as always but he had added skeletal wings to his back.  
“What the fuck can I get for you?” he asked Sebastian with a grin.  
“How about…some severed fingers,” he said.  
He leaned into the mic and screamed. “SEVERED FINGERS! You want blood with that?”  
Sebastian blinked. “Sure…”  
“WITH SOME BLOOD,” he shouted.  
A weight pressed into Sebastian’s shoulder and he looked up to see Kavinsky leaning against him. Only his face was grey and his eyes were red. Not in a binge drinking kind of way, but as in, he was probably wearing red contacts.  
“Sup,” he said with a grin.  
“Holy fuck,” Sebastian said.  
Kavinsky laughed and took a step back so Seb could admire the full effect. There was blood on his mouth, and all across his white tee shirt, which had some holes in it, and a tire track across it. His jeans were ripped and dirty and he looked very much like he’d crawled out of a grave.  
“Zombie Kavinsky,” Sebastian said and nodded. “Very scary.”  
“Not handsome? Or sexy? Attractive? What about fetching?” he asked, leaning forward.  
Sebastian shoved his shoulder. Kavinsky grabbed his cat ears.  
“Well for the record, you’re a fetching cat.”  
“Not cool man,” Sebastian said, frowning at him. “I don’t think you should find cats fetching.”  
“Just Sebastian cats,” he said. “Come on, let’s sit down.”  
He hooked his arm nonchalantly through Sebastian’s and led him to a table. They sat in the corner of the room with a full view of everyone else. There were monsters and cartoon characters and hipsters. On their table was a candle that looked like rotting brains. Kavinsky bridged his hands together, staring at Sebastian.  
“So what did you bring me here for?” Sebastian asked. “You just want to stare at me?”  
Kavinsky’s smile widened. “What else am I going to do with my spare time?”  
Sebastian stared back. He was starting to get past the red eyes and the grey skin. There was a line of stitching across his neck that he hadn’t noticed. Then Sebastian was staring at his neck and shoulder. His gaze traveled down his arm and to his hand, which he was inching closer to his own. Their fingers touched. There was something mesmerizing about watching their hands slowly come together.  
“SEVERED FINGERS WITH BLOOD!” the speakers announced and Sebastian remembered they were surrounded by people and he pulled his hand away.  
He looked over at the counter. The doors to the kitchen were thrown open smoke poured out around a black shadow carrying a platter. A sound bite of lightning filled the air and lights flashed. The shadow crept through the store towards Sebastian and Kavinsky, hissing at people as it passed. Then it set the plate down on Sebastian’s table, unveiling what genuinely appeared to be a bunch of bloodied fingers.  
Then the illusion was shattered when the shadow turned to Kavinsky.  
“Hey Kav.”  
“Troy,” Kavinsky grinned. “You working here now?”  
He nodded and lifted the face covering, grinning. Then he nodded his head towards Sebastian. “Who’s the new guy?”  
“New and improved Seb,” Kavinsky said. “But he works for Pedro, so keep it to yourself.”  
Troy nodded solemnly and put the mask back on. Then he disappeared back into the kitchen. Kavinsky stole a finger and bit into it.  
“Gotta love some good old fashioned zombie food.”  
Sebastian bit one. Shortbread cookies with warm strawberry sauce and almond nails. It was excellent.  
“Why did you bring me here?” Sebastian asked. “Just makes me feel guilty as hell.”  
Kavinsky shrugged. “I like the way they get into Halloween over here. And I like you. Feels natural to bring these things together.”  
“You going to Pedro’s dinner?” Sebastian asked, trying not to let the words I like you trip him up, even though it sent electricity through his body.  
“Oh, I’m not invited to dinner. For fear that I will get drunk and break Pedro’s things.”  
“Why do I get the feeling this is something that’s happened before?” Sebastian asked.  
Kavinsky grinned. “A magician never reveals his secrets.”  
“A magician of getting piss drunk. And breaking shit.”  
“Well when you put it like that,” he took a shortbread finger and pointed it at Seb. “Yes that is exactly true.”  
Sebastian shook his head. “You’re insane.”  
“Maybe,” Kav said. “But I must be doing something right. Can I walk you home?”  
“We just got here.”  
“Yeah but…something tells me you don’t want me to kiss you in here.”  
Sebastian had to take a deep breath. “Fine. But only because I want to close my eyes before dinner.”  
“A nap? I like naps.”  
“You do?” Sebastian raised an eyebrow.  
“Well, I like napping with you.” He stared sincerely at him and Sebastian exhaled slowly.  
“You’re going to kill me if you keep this up,” he muttered.  
“Keep what what?” Kavinsky smiled.  
Sebastian stood up, trying not to smile back. “Come on.”  
They left the shop quickly, Sebastian throwing his coat on. When they were a block away, they stopped at a red light. Kavinsky stepped close to him and started to button his coat.  
“Don’t want you to be cold,” he said. When he got to the top button he held onto Sebastian’s collar and kissed the corner of his mouth. Sebastian turned his face into Kavinsky’s and they stood like that until they’d missed their chance to cross the street.  
“This is getting to be a problem,” Kavinsky said quietly. He wound his arm around Sebastian’s back, keeping their faces cheek to cheek.  
“Didn’t know you were in a rush,” Sebastian said, feeling woozy from him.  
Kavinsky smiled. “I’m always in a rush with you.”  
The light changed and they started walk, but Sebastian watched him.  
“What do you mean?” Sebastian asked.  
They stepped onto the curb. Kavinsky shook his head, gathering his thoughts.  
“I don’t know, it’s like whenever I’m with you, things are going a million miles an hour.” He was looking at the ground. “I feel like my brain can’t shut off. There are so many things I want to say and do and never enough time. I can barely think straight.”  
They reached the apartment building but Sebastian was looking at Kavinsky. He opened his mouth to say something but Sebastian shook his head.  
“Don’t,” he said.  
Kavinsky frowned.  
“Whatever you’re going to say,” Sebastian said. “Say it to me when you don’t look like you slept in a cemetery.”  
Kavinsky gave him a half smile. “Fine but that’s on you if I can’t remember.”  
“Lucky for you I have an excellent memory.”  
They stepped into the building but there were two people already waiting for an elevator.  
“Annie!” Kav said and pulled a girl dressed, presumably as Hermione Granger, into a hug.  
“Kavinsky!” she returned the hug tightly. “Where have you been creeping? With this lovely specimen I assume.” She winked at Sebastian.  
Kavinsky pushed her back and took in her costume. “So where’s your cat?”  
That’s when the second person turned around. Sebastian hadn’t recognized Breakbot, due to the fact that his hair had been curled and turned orange. There were orange cat ears sticking out of his mop and he too had whiskers.  
“You too?” Sebastian asked.  
Break shrugged. “This is the price one pays to be friends with the trio.”  
He was wearing a fluffy orange sweater, and orange pants.  
“Sebastian, this is Annie Man,” Kavinsky said. “Annie this is Seb 2000. Annie lives with Uffie and Ellie.”  
Sebastian nodded. Annie smiled. “Seb 2000? Nice.”  
The elevator dinged and they all stepped inside. Breakbot and Seb stood in the middle. Breakbot turned to him.  
“You appear to have some zombie on you,” he used his sleeve and dabbed Sebastian’s face.  
Sebastian thought about being embarrassed for a minute. Then he just let Breakbot lick his thumb and try to get the paint off his cheek. Kavinsky was grinning like an idiot.  
“I’ll kill you,” Sebastian said, looking up at him.  
“Stop moving,” Breakbot prompted. When they reached the 10th floor, Annie and Breakbot got off. And Kavinsky burst out laughing. Sebastian gave him a murderous look and Kavinsky tried to control himself.  
“I’m sorry,” he said. “Really I am. But you two…you guys are good together.”  
Sebastian sighed. When they got into his apartment he realized he couldn’t remember why they’d come up here. Then Kavinsky took his hand and laced their fingers together. He remembered why they left. They faced each other again, and Sebastian took his other hand. Then Kavinsky let his weight fall into his palms until Sebastian was holding him up.  
He grinned. “Hey.”  
“Hey,” Sebastian pushed him back.  
Kavinsky took a step forward until there was almost no space between them. He was about to touch his nose to Seb’s face.  
“You’ll fuck up my paint,” he said.  
Kavinsky sighed. “Get Uffie to fix it.”  
“She’s working until dinner. I can’t show up to Pedro’s with your paint on my face. That’s a bit too obvious, yeah?”  
Kav smiled. “Sometimes I wish you weren’t as smart.”  
“What, you want me to be stupid?” he asked.  
“Of course not,” Kavinsky lifted their hands up, admiring their fingers. Then he pulled his hands away so he could touch Sebastian’s hair. “All I’m saying is that if you weren’t so smart, we could’ve already been making out.”  
“Why do you say things like that?” Sebastian sighed.  
Kav smiled. “Just seeing if I can get you to change your mind.”  
“Cruel man.” Sebastian laid his hands on Kav’s chest. He could feel his heart beating rapidly. He wrapped his arms around Kavinsky’s middle. Making sure their faces didn’t touch, he rested his chin on his shoulder.  
“I owe you a story,” he said.  
“You don’t have to.” Kavinsky hands left his face and started undoing the buttons of his coat.  
“Careful,” Sebastian said.  
Kavinsky shook his head. “I’d just rather not hug a coat when it could be you.”  
“I am the coat and the coat is me,” Sebastian sighed.  
Kavinsky paused for a second before getting the last one. “Well that’ll be awkward…”  
Sebastian stepped back so Kavinsky could pull his black pea coat coat off his arms, which he seemed to enjoy, judging by the barely there smile that came over his face. The paint and contacts were finally starting not to look weird. Sebastian put his arms around his neck again. Without asking, Kavinsky lifted Sebastian by the waist off the ground.  
Every muscle in his body tensed up. “Not cool.”  
“What, are you scared of heights?” Kavinsky asked.  
“No, I just don’t like being picked up.”  
“So you really are a cat.” Kavinsky walked over to the couch and set him back down. Sebastian hugged himself. Kav sat on the ground and leaned on the crook of the sofa, reaching his hands up. “I’m sorry. Come here.”  
Seb huffed but joined him. He laid his back against Kavinsky’s chest, but the cat ears got in the way so Kavinsky took them off. Then Kav wrapped his arms around him. Sebastian leaned his head back and closed his eyes.  
“You’re right, I don’t have scars,” Sebastian said. “Not like you do. But, I’m going to take a shot in the dark here and say you had a fairly normal high school experience.”  
“If you count catholic school as normal,” Kavinsky said and covered Sebastian’s hand with his own, tracing circles on his palm.  
“But you had Gaspard and Xavier,” Sebastian said. “You had friends, and I’m guessing other kinds of company.”  
“Well,” Seb could hear the smirk in his voice.  
“I don’t need to know,” he said. “My point is that you weren’t lonely. You know how to relate to people. You know what you’re doing.”  
“I’m glad you think I’m so capable,” Kavinsky said, but his voice had gotten quieter.  
“I was that kid,” Sebastian said. “I actually liked class. I thought being smart was the point of school. It’s just kind of a shock to figure out that being smart can actually get in the way of…life. I’m not trying to brag either.”  
“I think you’re bragging a little,” Kavinsky said.  
“Okay fine,” Sebastian almost smiled. “But it was all I cared about. I didn’t really understand that it was okay not to know the stupid details. I thought anyone who wasn’t as intelligent as I was, was a waste of time. It kind of got me into some bad situations. Kids don’t like it when you prove how stupid they are. It makes them mean.  
“But it wasn’t fair. When you don’t have any friends or anything to do, all you have left is learning. It was unfair of me to expect the same from everyone else.” He gave a pitiful laugh. “I was kind of terrible, actually.”  
“They were terrible too,” Kavinsky said. “You know that right?”  
Sebastian pulled Kavinsky’s arms tighter around him. “I know.”  
They sat together in silence, arms winding tightly around each other. Kavinsky rested his chin on Sebastian’s head. Sebastian’s eyes slid shut.  
“What would you have thought of me?” Kavinsky asked. “If we had met in high school? What would old Seb have thought of me?”  
A smile came over his face. “I would have hated you.”  
“Yeah, I kinda figured,” Kavinsky said.  
“I would have hated you because I would have liked you. I’ve never seen you be mean to anyone. You wouldn’t have been mean to me, hell you might have been even stood up for me, but you also wouldn’t have been friends with me. I would have…had a ridiculous crush on you. Basically.”  
Kavinsky leaned his head back. “God. I’m glad we met when we did. I never would have the balls to talk to you back then.”  
“Really?” Sebastian asked.  
“Let’s just say…College was important for me,” Kavinsky said. “And dropping out of college to go do whatever the fuck I wanted. Wow this is getting personal.” He laughed a little. “I don’t like to think about the past.”  
Sebastian sat up and turned to look at him. He was still a zombie. He leaned down and very lightly kissed him.  
“I like talking with you,” he said.  
Kav smiled and touched Sebastian’s mouth.  
“Did I get paint on me?” Sebastian asked.  
He shook his head. Then he pulled Seb closer, carefully kissing him again.  
“I don’t want to leave,” his voice was barely audible. “But the longer I stay, the more likely I am to mess up Uffie’s hard work. So…” his voice faded, eyes searching Sebastian’s. Then he seemed to wake up. “So I should go.”  
“Okay,” Sebastian said, just as quiet.  
“Okay,” Kavinsky leaned forward, almost kissing him again. “Leaving…”  
“Yeah…” Sebastian started to stand up and gave Kavinsky a hand and then they were standing an inch apart and Kav stole another kiss before managing to step away.  
“Okay, bye,” he said, taking a breath.  
“Bye…” Sebastian waved feebly at him as he left the apartment.

Sebastian picked Uffie up at Coffee Cats. He had decided to make something for the occasion.  
“What’s in the bag?” Uffie asked, peering into it.  
Sebastian pulled the bag away from her. “Nothing. It’s nothing. I shouldn’t have brought it. Gaspard probably made much better stuff.”  
She pinched his cheek. “Is someone feeling insecure about his baking? Do I need to call Kavinsky? I bet he thinks your dessert is fine.”  
Sebastian involuntarily took a deep breath. “Let’s not talk about him.”  
She covered her mouth. “Are you having problems?”  
He shook his head. “No. I don’t think it’s a problem. Well, not a problem normal people have.”  
“You’re saying a lot of things,” she said. “Let’s put that on hold and talk after dinner, kay? We’ll get you nice and toasted and then all the secrets will come out.” She patted his back. It was oddly comforting.  
“One question,” she said. “Where the hell are you cat ears?”  
Sebastian touched his head. They were indeed missing. “Uh…”  
“Damnit Kavinsky,” she cursed him under her breath. 

Dinner was with Pedro, Bertrand, Xavier, Gaspard and Thomas and Guy-Man from the record store. They barely fit at the table, but it was cozy.  
“You brought something!” Pedro sounded delighted when he saw Sebastian was carrying a bag. “What is it?”  
He tried to stick his head in the bag. Bertrand swooped in and took the bag away. “Thanks, Sebastian.”  
“I mean, you don’t have…to…”  
Uffie hooked her arm around Seb’s and they took seats next to Gaspard and Xavier. Sebastian glanced over at Gaspard. He was still out of the sandwich costume, and looking slightly more conscious, though his nose was a little pink.  
“How ya doing?” Sebastian asked quietly.  
“Well,” Gaspard glanced over at Xavier, who was talking to Guy-Man, and cleared his throat. “Things are…better.” He was fighting a smile.  
“Where’s the grub?” Uffie shouted.  
“Gaspard, mind giving me a hand?” Bertrand called.  
“Oh sure,” he called back. Then stood and Sebastian swore he saw Gaspard pull his hand away from Xavier’s.  
Pedro sat on Uffie’s other side and smiled at them both. “Are you guys having fun?”  
“Like right now?” Sebastian asked. “No.”  
Uffie laughed and turned to look at Seb. “Isn’t he spunky?”  
“Very spunky,” Pedro agreed. “Spirited, even.”  
“I’d go so far as to say he’s sassy,” Uffie leaned her head on her fist.  
“Who’s sassy?” Xavier asked. He and Guy-Man were glaring in their direction. “Only we get to be sassy.”  
“I don’t know, Seb’s pretty sassy,” Uffie said. “I think you should let him join your club.”  
“You have a club?” Sebastian asked.  
“No we don’t have a club,” Xavier said.  
“They absolutely have a club,” Gaspard said as he entered the room with a big platter. “They met every 2nd Saturday of the month to make tea and bitch about people.”  
Guy-Man huffed. Xavier rolled his eyes. “We do not do that.”  
“Actually, you do,” Thomas said and leaned his arm on the back of Guy-Man’s chair. “I don’t think you realize it, but it’s like clockwork every month. Why do you think I’m out of the store whenever the 2nd Saturday comes around? I know you like to bitch in peace.”  
Guy-Man blew some of his hair off his face and leaned back. “Whatever.”  
Thomas kept his arm there, grinning. Gaspard took his seat again, and he and Bertrand explained the meal. There was tomato soup with melted cheese that looked like cobwebs, and risotto inside of a pumpkin with a face carved into it. They’d unpacked the cornbread that Sebastian had brought and Gaspard had drizzled honey over it. And a bunch of roasted vegetables to top it off.  
The food was warm and delicious and Sebastian didn’t feel lost in the conversation. He was happy to be there. He felt like he belonged with them. And then there was Kavinsky. And that was an entirely different feeling.  
When the dinner was over, Gaspard brought out flan and the look on Uffie’s face was priceless.  
“Flan,” she sighed. “You gorgeous man. Let me touch your face.”  
“Back off,” Xavier warned.  
She winked at him. “Now now…”  
“Isn’t this nice?” Pedro inhaled and exhaled deeply. “Got the family together, and everyone’s sober and no one’s fighting. And none of my stuff is broken.”  
Bertrand patted his back. “We love you too.”  
Sebastian looked at his hands. He wondered how many meals he would have with them like this. He wanted to stay there for a while. It was first time in years he’d felt that way.  
When they finished dessert, Uffie quickly got Sebastian and herself out of the apartment, but not before getting Gaspard and Xavier to promise to stop by the bar in costume. Before Sebastian knew it they were sitting at a table by the window at the bar and Uffie had gotten far too much alcohol in him. Perhaps he was just losing time.  
“You know it’s a damn shame that you’re…” she waved her glass through the air. “That you got the hots for Kavinsky. We could have been a helluva pair.”  
“You’re not really my type,” Sebastian said.  
“What, pretty? Outgoing? Adorably short and feisty?”  
“Sane,” Sebastian said and took a drink.  
She smiled at him and then grabbed his hands. “What did you and Captain Crazy do today?”  
“Nothing,” he said, not able to keep from smiling. “It was nothing,” he protested when Uffie began wiggling her eyebrows.  
“I mean, he’s got to be, like, totally bananas when you get him alone right? God he’s probably into all sorts of weird shit. Tell me everything!” she cried.  
Sebastian shook his head, his normal secrecy fading away. “We’re not…going in that direction at the moment.”  
“You’re still taking it slow?” she asked, eyes wide. “Wow! Color me impressed.”  
Sebastian finished off his drink and put his hands on the table. “But, Jesus, it’s like…” his eyes went wide and then narrow again. “I mean, have you ever kissed Kavinsky?”  
“I have not had the pleasure,” she said, taking a sip. “But I’ve heard talk.”  
“All I’m gonna say is…” he tapped the table with his hands a couple of times and then sank lower into the chair.  
“That good?” she asked with a grin.  
Sebastian closed his eyes. “Mhm.”  
She laughed. “So is he the craziest person you’ve ever dated? Or is he the craziest person you’ve ever dated?”  
“Dunno,” Seb lazily shook his head. “Never dated anyone before.”  
“Wait, what?” she asked, much too loudly.  
He shrugged and looked at her. “I’ve never done this. You know, relationship stuff. Never wanted it.”  
She was staring at him, starry eyed. “This is your first relationship. I’m so happy all of sudden. I just…you’re so…cute.”  
Seb groaned. “I drank too much.”  
“No!” she said and took his hand again. “Stay awake! Let’s stand up!”  
She dragged him through a gaggle of costumed dancers back to the bar and ordered more drinks. The night very quickly lost any and all logic. Sebastian stopped being able to differentiate between people and their costumes. He wasn’t talking to Uffie anymore, but Sabrina the teenage witch. He also met Spongebob Squarepants and Aang the last airbender, and Jesus and a sandwich.  
It was a long night. He barely remembered getting back home. But he did remember kissing a zombie before collapsing onto his couch.  
He woke with grey face paint on his mouth.  
   
16?! GAAAH

 

Sebastian was going to go to Coffee Cats. He was going to do a lot of things that day. But as he walked down the street at 5 in the morning, he saw something that gave him pause. Two guys talking outside of Coffee Cats. They both looked like Jesus. One of them was Gaspard. The other he didn’t recognize.  
They both saw Seb watching them. Gaspard kind of froze up, and the other guy waved amiably. Nothing about the situation made Sebastian less anxious. He approached cautiously.  
That’s when Xavier came jogging around the corner. He put his hands on the other guy’s back and started pushing him down the street, away from Sebastian, towards Daft Records.  
Sebastian walked up to Gaspard and just stared.  
“No one,” Gaspard said, coolly, answering the question Seb was thinking. “Just someone we went to school with.”  
Sebastian crossed his arms, staring him down. Gaspard was normally a good liar, but not to him.  
“We didn’t know he was coming,” Gaspard said, looking down. “I promise.”  
“That’s him isn’t it…?” Sebastian watched Xavier and the guy go inside the record shop. “The other Seb.” His arms fell to his sides and he wasn’t quite sure what to feel.  
Gaspard put a hand on his shoulder and guided him into Coffee Cats. “Nothing to worry about. He probably just came for his stuff. But, of course, we don’t have it anymore. So I’m sure he’ll be gone in no time.”  
They went into the kitchen. Gaspard put his apron on, but Sebastian just kind of stood in the corner. “But he’s your friend, isn’t he? Don’t you want him to stay?”  
Gaspard paused a moment, staring into the fridge, before he began collecting ingredients. “I think…its best for everyone if he doesn’t stay long.”  
Sebastian watched Gaspard for a moment. He was turning the ovens on and wiping the counter. There was a sickness developing in Sebastian’s stomach. Maybe it was just the hangover, but Kav’s ex being in town really wasn’t helping.  
Gaspard turned to look at him. “You okay?”  
Sebastian took a breath and forced the sickness away. He would be fine, so long as he felt nothing. That was much easier.  
“Yes,” he said and finally put his apron on. 

Uffie hadn’t shown by 10, probably sleeping off last night. Break was having a bit of trouble, mostly because Xavier still wasn’t there, and Fabien wasn’t coming in that day. He poked his head into the kitchen.  
“Hey…mind giving me a hand?”  
Sebastian came in after him. There were a couple people staring up at the menu. He set to work, grateful for the busy atmosphere. It kept his brain occupied. Until, of course, it died down. And then Jesus Sebastian returned, Xavier anxious on his heels.  
“Maybe we should wait until Gaspard gets off work,” Xavier was saying.  
“Nah, I want to see the kitchens again,” Other Seb said. “When they’re nice and hot.” He rubbed his hands together, not really smiling but looking overall pleased with life. Sebastian hated him already.  
Xavier glanced at Sebastian behind the counter. He let out a sigh. If Sebastian didn’t know better, he’d say Xavier looked apologetic. Other Seb smiled when he said Breakbot.  
“Hey there,” he waved and gave him a hug across the counter. “How are you doing?”  
Breakbot shrugged. “Life goes on, whether you’re prepared or not.”  
Other Seb gave a short laugh and patted Breakbot on the shoulder. “Yeah, me too.”  
Then Other Seb turned to Sebastian and smiled wide. “You must be the new guy.”  
Sebastian didn’t come any closer. “Sure.”  
Xavier tried to get Other Seb to keep moving. “Come on, we should see Gaspard.”  
But Other Seb leaned on the counter. “Hey, you like it here?”  
Sebastian stared guardedly. “Yeah.”  
“Sebastian fits right in,” Breakbot said and stood next to him. “We like him.”  
“Your name is Sebastian?” Other Seb was pleased as punch, grinning through his beard. “What a coincidence. Did Pedro just put out a call for bakers named Sebastian? That’s hilarious.”  
Sebastian did not find it hilarious. He crossed his arms over his chest.  
“He’s Gaspard’s friend from school,” Xavier said to him. It was the first time Sebastian could remember Xavier ever acknowledging him as Gaspard’s anything.  
“Oh,” Other Seb nodded. “Yeah I think I remember him saying something about you. Nice to meet you.” He extended his hand.  
Sebastian waited two seconds before accepting it. “Yeah…I should get back to work.” He slipped into the kitchen and tore his apron off.  
Gaspard stared at him. “Woah, you okay?”  
“I have to go.” He tossed his apron onto the counter and rushed out the back door. Then he fumbled for a cigarette, but he dropped it and then he couldn’t get his lighter to spark and he wound up tossing the stupid thing against the wall of Daft Records and sitting on the ground.  
Someone was coming down the stairs from the apartments. He glanced up to see Kavinsky. Kav grinned at him, but it slowly faded.  
“Someone’s not doing so hot,” he said.  
Sebastian jumped to his feet. “What are you doing? Let’s go to your place.”  
Kav smiled but shook his head. “I got work.”  
“Call in sick,” Sebastian told him. When he was close enough, he undid the buttons on Kavinsky’s jacket, so he could slip his arms under it.  
Kavinsky smiled and pulled him closer. Then he wrapped the jacket around both of them. He leaned his face against Sebastian’s.  
“You’re supposed to be the good one,” he said. “Keeping me on the straight and narrow…”  
“We probably wouldn’t be together if you were on the straight and narrow,” Sebastian muttered. Kavinsky laughed. “Come on, let’s go upstairs,” Seb said leaning closer. “It’s cold…”  
“Maybe I can skip out this once…” Kav pressed his smile to Sebastian’s lips.  
Then the door banged open. From the way Kavinsky jumped, he clearly expected Pedro. Sebastian did too, for an instant. But it was Gaspard, Xavier, and Other Seb.  
Kavinsky went pale. “Oh…” Then he remembered Sebastian was in his coat and stepped back from him, leaving Seb standing in crisp air.  
Other Seb gave him the same greeting he’d been giving everyone. A wave and a, “Hey.” Like he was no different than anyone else. It was almost cruel.  
“This has been…I’m gonna…” Kavinsky turned away and started walking back to the stairs. Sebastian jogged after him.  
“Nice to see you!” Other Seb called after him, either not picking up the vibe of horror on Kavinsky’s end, or choosing to ignore it completely.  
Kavinsky was up the stairs and desperately searching for his keys when Sebastian caught him again.  
“Hey,” Sebastian tugged on his sleeve.  
Kavinsky let his head fall against the door. “I am not ready for this.”  
Sebastian didn’t know what to do. “Can I help you?”  
“I thought I was,” he said, gesturing at the door. “I came back because I thought I was. And then he wasn’t here and I was so relieved.”  
“I can stay if you want me to,” Sebastian said.  
Kavinsky looked at him again. He almost smiled and then touched Seb’s face. But his hand fell away, slack. “I think I need to…just be alone for a while.”  
He stood up straight but there was a red spot on his forehead from the door. Sebastian hesitated a moment before standing on his toes and putting his lips to the spot.  
“Just tell me if you need anything,” Sebastian said, stuffing his hands in his pockets.  
Kavinsky took a breath. “You’re far too good for me.” Then he let himself into the apartment and shut the door. The weight of his words pressed into Seb’s shoulders, uncomfortably heavy.

There was no part of him that wanted to go back to work, so he left early and went to Uffie’s apartment. Annie let him in.  
“Quiet now,” she said with a finger on her lips. “We had a long night.”  
He knocked softly on her door. “Uff?”  
A groan answered from within. He pushed the door open. She was curled up in a mountain of blankets with a pillow over her head. But she smiled when she saw him.  
“Baby boy,” she said. “What’s wrong?”  
“Uhm,” he said eloquently.  
She sat upright, narrowing her eyes. “What did he do?”  
He shook his head. “Other Seb. He’s back in town.”  
“Oh…” she said. Then she reached for him. “Come here.”  
He fell into her bed, laying his head on her stomach. She ran her hands through his hair.  
“What happened between them?” he asked. “Kav looked like he’d seen a ghost when he showed up.”  
She sighed and tossed a blanket over Seb. He closed his eyes.  
“Its not my story to tell,” she said.  
“Tell me anyway.”  
“Yeah yeah,” she mussed up his hair. “It was almost a year ago. Seb Tellier had been around for about a year. He and Kav had known each other, but Kav was having one of his times where he decides to stick around for a bit. Seb was in a bit of spot. He’d been depressed for a while. Not his usual self. They got involved when Seb was at his lowest. Kav kind of helped him get back on his feet. It was funny. Usually when that happens it’s the one struggling that gets attached but in this case it was the other way around. Kav was a little more….committed than Seb. But when Seb had bounced back and felt more like himself…he went back to his old ways. And his old girlfriend. Problem was, he didn’t really tell Kav that he’d moved on. Christmas came, and Kav got in some trouble and Seb didn’t respond well. Then Kav left and didn’t come back til you showed.”  
Sebastian exhaled slowly. “Shit.”  
“Yeah.” She yawned. “Truthfully, Seb was just being himself. Kav got caught up in things and thought that Seb had changed but in reality, he wasn’t himself when they were together. He got attached to the wrong Seb. I’m not saying what Seb did was okay, but Kav was a bit too optimistic. He can get attached to people.”  
Sebastian pulled his legs into his chest. “Should I be worried?”  
She stopped running her hands through his hair. “I don’t want you to get hurt. I like you, Sebby. But…it’s Kavinsky. I’m afraid he’s learning from his mistakes.”  
Sebastian pulled the blanket over his head. “What does that mean?”  
“I don’t know,” she said. “Sorry, baby. Sleep here. If you drank half as much as I did, you need it.”  
He let his eyes slide shut.

When he woke, it appeared the entirety of Coffee Cats was staring down at him. Pedro leaned down and grabbed his face.  
“Get up. We’re going shopping.”  
“What?”  
A whirlwind of limbs grabbed at him until he wound up in Pedro’s truck, wedged in the front with Pedro and Uffie and Xavier. Gaspard, Bertrand, Fabien and Breakbot were in the back of the truck.  
“Where are we going actually?” Sebastian asked.  
“Shopping!” Uffie clapped her hands.  
“We’re going to Ikea,” Pedro told him. “Apparently it’s time to straighten the shop up.”  
“Every single table in there is uneven,” Xavier said. “All the damn spoons are missing. Three chairs have broken in the last six months. It’s time. Not to mention, the apartment—”  
“Enough,” Pedro said. “I get it.”  
“And,” Uffie added, giving Sebastian a hopeful look. “We can get you a bed!”  
Sebastian smiled. The window in the back of the cab opened up and Gaspard leaned through, putting his arms around Sebastian’s neck. “How we doing up here?”  
“We are alive,” Sebastian said.  
“And melodramatic as fuck,” Xavier added, but he was smiling.  
Sebastian gave him a barely-there smile.  
“Are we having a party?” Breakbot was trying to squeeze next to Gaspard in the window. Their cheeks squished together and Uffie reached up and pinched both of them, grinning.  
“Uffie will you make us hot chocolate when we get back?” Breakbot asked.  
“Of course.”  
They pulled into the Ikea parking lot fifteen minutes later, and all of them poured out of the truck. Pedro stood up in front of them.  
“Alright, Gaspard and Xavier, you’re in charge of getting whatever you need for the kitchen. Breakbot and Fabien, we need dishware for customers. Bertrand and I will look at seating. Uff and Seb, you got rugs and, you know, knick knacks.”  
Uffie clapped her hands, and then grabbed Sebastian’s arm. “Let’s go!”  
They took off into the store. First, Uffie made him go inside every living room set and sit on the couches. Then they laid on every bed in the bedroom section and demanded a different meal in every kitchen set.  
“Husband! Bring me a mulligan stew!” she crossed her legs at dark wood kitchen table.  
“The fuck is mulligan stew?” he leaned against the counter.  
A mother pulled her child closer a few steps away, directing them away from Sebastian.  
Uffie laughed. “No clue! Come on, Xavier and Gaspard are here. Let’s spy on them.”  
She wrapped her arm around Sebastian’s and pulled him along. They stood in a walk-in closet and peered out at Xavier and Gaspard.  
“What are we looking for again?” Xavier asked, picking up a spatula. Gaspard took the spatula away and put it back in its place.  
“We’re just looking…but some new cookies sheets would be good. And maybe better oven mitts.”  
Xavier opened a cabinet and began pulling all the drawers out, inspecting the contents within.  
“You won’t find them in there,” Gaspard leaned on the counter.  
Xavier cut him a look. “You’re laughing at me.”  
“Nono,” Gaspard shook his head. A tiny smile worked its way onto his face.  
Xavier grabbed a wooden spoon and pointed it at him. A fight could have very well broken out. Then Gaspard laughed and slung an arm over his shoulder. Xavier poked him with the spoon once and set it down.  
Uffie sighed and wrapped her arms languidly around Seb’s middle. “Aren’t they the cutest?”  
“Yeah,” he sighed.  
She pressed her face into his back. “Lighten up. We’ve been waiting on these two for years. Oh I wonder if they’ll rent out Xav’s room. You know, since they obviously only need one room now.”  
Seb tried not to laugh. “I don’t know, they strike me as the kind of people who might still appreciate getting some space from time to time.”  
“Yeah,” she pulled on his hair. “Give me a piggy back ride.”  
He knelt down and she attached herself to his back. “Now let’s go ask some Ikea guy if the carpets match the drapes.”  
They wandered through the many aisles of the store. They spotted Breakbot and Fabien in glassware. Breakbot was admiring a shiny tea kettle, but when he turned around, Fabien had put glasses up to his eyes like binoculars. He spied Uffie and Seb across the way and cried, “Ahoy!”  
“ARGH!” Uffie shouted back. “You’ll never catch us alive!” Then she pulled on Sebastian’s jacket. “Mush! Go! Onward!”  
He jogged away, but Fabien was scrambling onto Breakbot’s back. They charged after them. Uffie yelped when she saw them, and then laughed and shouted at Sebastian to run. He found himself caught up in the moment and they started racing through the store. But Breakbot was some kind of beast and he overtook them. Fabien stole Uffie’s jacket off her back and waved it over his head.  
“Come and get it from me later, pretty lady,” he shouted.  
Uffie shook her fist at them. “You bastard! Don’t you ever call me pretty again!”  
Breakbot took off into the lighting section and soon they were gone. Uffie tried to get Seb to keep going, but he leaned against a support beam.  
“No can do,” he said and coughed into his sleeve. “Christ, I need a cigarette.”  
She climbed back onto solid ground and glared at the customers. “That son of a bitch.”  
“Maybe he just likes you,” Sebastian offered.  
She turned to him, eyes narrowed, but her gaze softened. “Huh. Wouldn’t that be interesting.”  
Seb straightened up and took a shuddering breath in. “Alright, let’s get a rug before my lungs collapse.”  
She smiled and they walked on, arm in arm.  
“Can I tell you something?” she said as they perused through bins of rugs.  
“If I said no, would you actually not say anything?”  
She shoved him. “Listen. Kav and Seb Tellier are gonna need to hash this out. They have unfinished business, you know? Kav might need some space for a while. Just try not to be disappointed.”  
He nodded.  
She put her hand on his arm. “Hey. You still got me.”  
He put his hand on the top of her head. “Whether I want you or not.”  
She stuck her tongue out at him and he smiled.  
Pedro and Bertrand caught up with them as they looked at bed frames. Uffie told him he should go all out and buy a huge king size with a duvet and seven hundred pillows. Bertrand was in favor of a more modest bed with one of the form fitting mattresses.  
Pedro clapped him on the back. “Up to you, man.”  
“Maybe you should just pick for me,” he sighed.  
“Just buy a really nice sleeping bag,” Pedro offered with a smile.  
“Oh, get a bunk bed,” Uffie said. “Or a loft. Then you can have a little desk under it and be fucking adorable.”  
“What the hell do I need a desk for?” Sebastian asked. “I just want a normal thing to sleep on that isn’t a couch. Is that too much to ask for?”  
“Apparently,” Bertrand said. “Just get a mattress for now, and worry about the frame later.”  
Sebastian nodded. “Yeah…sounds good.”  
They reassembled at check-out. Fabien was wearing Uffie’s sweater. It was nearly ripping at the shoulders.  
“If you rip that, I’ll tear you apart,” Uffie told him with a smile.  
He grinned back. Breakbot inched away until he was standing behind Sebastian.  
“Protect me,” he said. “She won’t hurt you.”  
Sebastian shook his head. “You’re fine.”  
“Don’t speak too soon,” he whispered.  
“Man, I want some food,” Uffie turned to stare longingly at the food court. Then she kind of froze up. “Pedro, don’t look now, but I think Bob and Tommy are here.”  
Pedro sighed. Then, of course, every single one of them stared at the food court, like a flock of freaky birds. The Bloody Bakery boys were indeed sitting at a table in the food court. It was weird seeing them without their masks on.  
“How does this always happen?” Pedro asked.  
“Because you two are secretly in love,” Xavier said. “You have the same internal clock.”  
“Well…time to be diplomatic.”  
They all headed towards the food court. Bob did not look surprised or displeased to see Pedro. He grinned and nudged Tommy.  
“Look who’s here. Shit, I was wondering if we’d actually managed to get here without running into the children of the cat.”  
“Hey Bob,” Pedro waved weakly. Even though he towered over the both of them, he looked small somehow.  
Tommy waved back, mouth full of spaghetti. He chewed thoughtfully before speaking. “Nice to see you, Pedro.” He looked genuinely happy. Sebastian was feeling like he understood this situation less and less.  
Pedro laughed a little. “What were you here for?”  
“Ah, just junk,” Bob said, gesturing at some bags on the ground. “We kinda smashed up some plates the other night.”  
“You smashed up some plates,” Tommy said, pointing. “I was just a witness.”  
“Alright alright, I smashed up some plates. So we figured we’d just run over here. I see you have the whole crew today.”  
Pedro rubbed his neck. “We figured we’d make an outing of it.”  
“You know, we could just cut the middle man and all of us come out here together,” Tommy said.  
Bertrand was nodding. “Makes sense.”  
But Pedro and Bob sucked in air through their teeth. “Well…”  
“You know…we have different routines.”  
“And we’re gonna have to get different stuff….”  
“Forget I said anything,” Tommy said.  
Bertrand patted his shoulder. “I liked your idea.”  
They smiled at each other. Pedro took a pointed step back. “Well it was nice seeing you again.”  
“Later, loser,” Bob said.  
“In a while crocodile,” Pedro said and turned on his heel, taking giant steps forward. In three steps he was at the door. Everyone scrambled after him.

Tommy was laughing at Bob.  
“Come on,” he said, nudging him with his foot. “It’s kind of funny.”  
Bob made a face and picked up a handful of spaghetti and tried to shove it into his face. Tommy picked up a plastic fork and knife and fought him off.  
“Just tell him you think he’s cool, it’ll make everything better.”  
Bob dropped the pasta. “He’s not cool! He’s just an awkward giraffe who runs a boring old coffee shop. Nothing cool about it. That children’s play place however…” he pointed to the entrance to the little play area where parents could abandon their children while they shopped. “That looks fucking awesome.”  
Tommy laughed again. “I think you’re too big for that.”  
Bob gave him a wicked smile. “Who’s gonna stop me?”  
“We nearly get kicked out of this place every time we come here,” Tommy sighed. “Can’t we just shop in peace? Like normal people?”  
Bob looked at him for a minute, before wiping the marinara off his hands.  
“If you want normal you should go work for Coffee Cats,” he huffed.  
“Maybe I will,” Tommy said, challenging.  
Bob narrowed his eyes. He leaned closer and put his hands on the edge of the table and then he grinned from ear to ear.  
“Catch me if you can, mother fucker!” and he took off sprinting across the cafeteria.  
“Bob!” Tommy shouted and chased after him.  
Bob was booking it towards the play area. There was a rather impressive ball pit from where he could see. He was trying to figure out the best way to make his entrance, swan dive or belly flop, when Tommy caught his arm, and swung him around and then slung him over his shoulder.  
“Not today, cowboy,” he said. “Don’t worry folks! I’ve apprehended the lunatic.” He waved to a couple people who looked on with fear in their eyes.  
Bob sagged over Tommy’s shoulders. “You wouldn’t leave the Blood Bakery would you?”  
Tommy sighed. “I am a mysterious person who cannot be tied down to just one bakery, you know?”  
Bob flicked his temple. “You’re full of shit. You wouldn’t dare.”  
Tommy shrugged, and set Bob down by their stuff. A security guard was heading towards them.  
“Come on, we should get out of here,” Tommy said, loading his arms with bags.  
Bob nodded and then he climbed onto his chair and shouted, “Vive la revolution!” and grabbed another handful of spaghetti and threw it at the guard. Then he grabbed Tommy’s arm and they made a beeline for the parking garage. When they made it back into their car, Bob grinned.  
“Next time we’ll go shopping in peace, I promise.”  
“Liar,” Tommy grinned as they sped away.  
   
17

 

They got back to Coffee Cats as the sun was going down. Everyone brought in the new furniture to the store. Seb and Uffie set out a large black rug and then everyone began dragging chairs in. They went back to the truck to grab another bag when the door to the apartment opened. It was Other Seb. He shut the door behind him and walked down the steps. His hands were in his pockets. He didn’t look sad, exactly, just downtrodden.  
“Hey, Uffie,” he waved at her. “How’s it been?”  
“Just fine…” Uffie looked back and forth between the two Seb’s.  
Sebastian took a step back. “I should…”  
“Seb, let’s go talk inside,” Uffie said to Other Seb. She quickly led him away. Sebastian stood there awkwardly. He peered up at the door to the apartment. It had never looked less friendly. Then he climbed the stairs and knocked once.  
He heard footsteps through the door. Then it creaked open and Kavinsky leaned in the doorway.  
“Alone, huh?” Sebastian asked.  
Kav almost smiled. “This is what I get for liking a smart guy.”  
Sebastian sighed at him. Kav opened the door a little wider. “We should talk.”  
“I don’t like that sentence,” Sebastian said. “That sentence is death.”  
Kav took his hand and pulled him inside. They went into Kav’s room and they sat on the edge of his bed.  
“How are you?” Sebastian asked.  
Kav flopped backwards on the bed. “Weird.”  
“That’s not good.”  
He shook his head. “We didn’t exactly part ways on the best terms, Seb and I.”  
“But what about now?” Sebastian asked. “Are you better now?”  
Seb listened to him take a deep breath in and then out. He covered his face with his hand. “He confuses me. One minute he’s just his regular self, acting like nothing’s wrong and the next he seems like he’s actually concerned and maybe apologetic and I don’t how to reconcile those two things.”  
“I wish I knew how to help you,” Sebastian said to the floor.  
Kavinsky sat up again. He touched Sebastian’s spine, running his hand over the bumps. Chills raced up his back. Kav pulled his hand away.  
“I’m not myself,” he said. “I don’t think it’s smart for us to see each other right now.”  
Seb turned to look at him. “Is this temporary or…?”  
Kav was obviously fighting a smile. “I don’t know if I can stay away from you for long…even if it’s not good for us.”  
“I don’t like this,” Sebastian said. He touched his leg to Kav’s, and Kavinsky covered Seb’s hand with his own.  
“I don’t either, for the record. But I don’t want to associate you with feeling like this. I need to feel better on my own. You know?”  
Sebastian didn’t feel like arguing. He leaned his head against Kavinsky’s. Kav put his free hand on Seb’s face.  
“I’ll see you around, okay?” Kav said.  
Sebastian nodded, but he didn’t want to move. Neither did Kav, judging from the way he was pressing their faces closer, and gripping his hand. Then Kav slowly pulled back.  
“Bye, Seb,” he said.  
The distance felt like ice. Sebastian stood up. “Bye…Kav. You’ll tell me when you feel different, right?”  
Kavinsky looked up at him. “You’ll be the first to know.”  
Sebastian nodded and let himself out. 

As he walked home, he passed the front of Coffee Cats. A bunch of them had stayed behind to chat with Seb Tellier. They were listening to him, laughing with him. He didn’t stop walking.

The door opened and Franck gave him a knowing smile. “Why am I not surprised?”  
Sebastian shoved his hands in his pockets. “I didn’t know where else to go.”  
Franck opened the door wider. “Come on.”  
Franck went into his kitchen. He was clearly in the middle of making dinner. A pot of water was slowly coming to a boil. There were vegetables scattered over the counter. Sebastian sat on the floor of the kitchen and watched Franck take up a knife and start chopping.  
“Have you eaten?” he asked.  
“Not really,” Sebastian said.  
Franck smiled. “Lucky for you I always make extra. I heard you got a bed today.”  
“How’d you know?” Sebastian asked.  
“Breakbot and I have been in contact.” He looked over at him. “Well don’t just sit there. Make yourself useful.”  
Sebastian sighed heavily, but stood and took his jacket off. Frank passed him the knife and large stalk of broccoli. Then he went into the fridge and pulled out a package of tofu. Seb raised an eyebrow.  
Franck stood beside him. “I’m a vegetarian.”  
“Of course you are,” Sebastian said.  
They were silent for a little while as Sebastian prepared vegetables and Franck coated the tofu in batter.  
“Do you want to talk about something?” Franck asked.  
Sebastian took a deep breath. “Unless you can read Kavinsky’s mind, I don’t think it’ll help.”  
Franck began frying the tofu. The heat was nice. Sebastian leaned into it.  
“Careful, the oil’s hot,” Franck warned.  
Sebastian set the knife down and leaned against the counter. “I probably shouldn’t be here.”  
“Yeah, well, now you have to at least see the meal through,” Franck said. “And I know if you go home you won’t eat. So I have to make sure you eat something.”  
Sebastian’s lips pulled up in a smile. “How considerate.”  
They ate dinner on the couch. Franck made him talk about the trip to Ikea. Then he asked him about books. He was rather smart about keeping the conversation away from Kavinsky, but it still sat heavily in the back of his mind. When the food was gone, Franck was twiddling his thumbs.  
“You want me to talk about it, don’t you?” Sebastian asked.  
“I think you should talk about it,” Franck said. “But we can do whatever you want.”  
Sebastian sank into the couch. “What do you usually do when you’re here by yourself?”  
Franck shrugged. “Write. Or read. Or…play video games.”  
“You should read to me,” Sebastian said. “Something good.”  
“Well I just bought—” Franck started by Sebastian cut him off.  
“Do you have anything by Franck Rivoire? I hear he’s a pretty good writer.”  
Franck fought off a smile. “Sorry, not today. I got something else you might like though.” He picked a book off the table. Pnin by Nabokov. He handed it to Sebastian, but he shook his head.  
“Read it out loud.”  
Franck shifted on the couch. He turned on the lamp behind him and sat with his back to the armrest. Then he started reading. It took him a couple of pages but he found a rhythm. The two of them slowly sank into the couch. Franck’s legs were propped next to Sebastian like a wall. He leaned against them, which temporarily threw Franck’s reading off. Then Seb sat up and pulled Franck’s legs across him and then laid his head on Franck’s chest.  
Franck stopped reading. “Is…this a good idea?”  
“Just keep reading,” Seb said.  
Franck waited a minute before he kept on. Sebastian only processed every other word. He just couldn’t stand the thought of walking home and sleeping alone. The only thing keeping him away from Kavinsky’s apartment was the fear that Kavinsky was right. If they continued on, pretending Kav was okay, something would break, something unfixable. This was the best way to make sure things stayed whole.  
But it hurt like hell. Franck’s voice eased the pain. 

“Hey,” Franck’s voice was quiet and the room was dark. “Sebastian.”  
Sebastian blinked. He was still sprawled over Frank. He made a noise, so Franck would know he was up.  
“Are you…staying here, or…?”  
Sebastian shrugged. “Mm.”  
“Did you and Kav break up?” Franck asked.  
All his breath left him and he turned his face into Franck’s shirt. “There was nothing to break.”  
“If he came up to you tomorrow and asked what you did last night…what would you tell him?”  
Sebastian twirled a loose thread from Franck’s shirt around his finger. “Nothing I haven’t done before.”  
Franck laughed quietly, and Sebastian heard it deep in his chest. “You’re kind of a smart ass.”  
“Can I go back to sleep?” Sebastian asked.  
Franck set his book on the table. “Should we…you know, sleep on a bed?”  
“Whatever you want,” he said.  
Franck nudged him. “Come on. This couch is old and weird.”  
They stood up, Sebastian’s brain still fuzzy with sleep. He put his hand on Franck’s shoulder and let him lead the way. In his bedroom, Sebastian curled up on top of his comforter. Franck sat next to him.  
“What happened, Sebastian?”  
He shrugged. “Seb Tellier made him feel weird. Now he doesn’t want to see me.”  
“Like…ever?”  
Sebastian shrugged. “I don’t know. He doesn’t think so.”  
“And he just…made this decision? What do you think?” Franck asked.  
“I think…” he started but let the sentence hang. He wasn’t sure entirely what he thought. He wished he had his coat on. It was getting cold. Instead he hugged a pillow to his face. “I want to keep seeing him.”  
“You should just tell him that,” Franck said. “From what I’ve seen of Kavinsky, he’s pretty easily swayed.”  
Sebastian closed his eyes. “I swear I didn’t come here just to complain.”  
“Sure you did,” Franck laughed and pulled the covers down. He slid under and put his hands behind his head. “I don’t mind, though. Not really. It’s nice to know you trust me enough to complain.”  
Sebastian smiled. “What’s going on with you? Tell me about your life.”  
Franck began to tell him about his classes. Sebastian apologized in advance if he fell asleep in the middle of it. They stayed up for a little longer, Sebastian asking him questions, and Franck answering to the best of his ability. His book was still coming along, but much slower than he wanted. Classes were getting stressful as the semester moved on. He was both terrified and exhilarated at the thought of graduating.  
Franck wasn’t sure when Sebastian fell asleep. He pulled a blanket over him, partially to be nice, partially hoping the movement would wake him. So Sebastian would look at him again, and perhaps thank him quietly in that just-woke-up voice and then pull him closer.  
With a sigh, Franck closed his eyes and tried not to get his hopes up. 

When Sebastian woke up, he was more than a little surprised to find himself in Franck’s bed. Then everything from the previous day rushed back into him and he felt like he had heartburn. He thanked Franck for letting him stay and then hurried out of there.  
Gaspard was waiting for him at Coffee Cats, but he wasn’t bothered by his lateness.  
“Hey,” Gaspard said, scrutinizing him. “How are you?”  
“Jesus, everyone just wants to know how I am,” Sebastian snapped, tying his apron on a little too tightly, but too proud to fix it.  
Gaspard turned to his batter. “I was just curious is all…”  
“Sorry,” Sebastian mumbled.  
“It’s okay,” Gaspard smiled. “I know how you get.”  
“I’ll be fine,” Sebastian said. “Just…need to see how this plays out.”  
“Well…if you wanted to hang out tonight, we could do that,” Gaspard offered. “Xavier and I could entertain you.”  
Sebastian laughed at the notion. “Yeah sure. Except I might get jealous as hell.”  
“No, don’t worry about that,” Gaspard clapped him on the shoulder. “We’ll show you a good time.”

“So, by good time, you mean busking on the streets?” Sebastian leaned against the brick wall of the convenience store.  
Gaspard connected the pieces of his record and smiled at him. “We’re not doing it for money. We’re doing it for fun.”  
“You’re doing it,” Xavier corrected. “We’re watching. Because we don’t play instruments.”  
Gaspard played a few notes to make sure it was in order. Then he stood on the corner of the sidewalk and began to play. It was pretty enchanting music, for a recorder. Sebastian smiled. Xavier shook his head.  
“He always wants to do this. I tell him he could put on shows, but no, he just wants to stand on the street and give his music away for free.”  
He looked at Sebastian. “You look like shit.”  
“Wow,” Sebastian looked at his feet. “You were just what I needed.”  
Xavier nudged him with his shoulder. “I was asking what was wrong.”  
Sebastian looked over at Gaspard, who had started doing some kind of insane jig in the street as he played the recorder. People who walked by him were laughing and smiling. It wasn’t malicious, though. He looked pleased to be able to make them laugh.  
“This was the thing, wasn’t it?” Sebastian asked. “That you made Kavinsky promise not to talk about.”  
He turned back to Xavier. “How long have you felt this way about him?”  
Xavier was glaring out of habit. But his gaze slid by him and onto Gaspard. Then his face opened up for a second, revealing that loyalty Sebastian had heard so much about.  
“I’ve known him my whole life. We were neighbors, you know? Grew up together with Kavinsky. We had kind of a strict upbringing. Other kids made fun of us a lot for it. Gaspard was always nice to me, though. Kav and I fought a lot of other kids. That’s how we became friends. But Gaspard? He was just nice. I didn’t believe him for a while. I thought he was trying to trick me.  
“Until he told me one day that he didn’t have any friends either. By his logic, because neither of us had anyone else, it meant that he and I were supposed to be together. It didn’t matter that we were completely different or that we didn’t know that much about each other. He just assumed it was true. We were like 7. I think I took him a little too literally.”  
“But it turned out the way you wanted,” Sebastia said.  
Xavier shrugged. “As long as we’re in each other’s lives…it’s enough. The rest is just…” he tried not to smile, staring at Gaspard, looking about as relaxed as Sebastian had ever seen him. “I’m not doing a very good job of cheering you up, am I?”  
Sebastian laughed. “Not at all.”  
Xavier pushed him towards Gaspard. “Go on then, he’s better with this stuff.”  
Gaspard pulled Sebastian towards him and tried to get him to dance with him. After much musical insistence, the three of them were dancing like crazy people in the street. Then Joel from the pizza place stuck his head out the door and yelled at them.  
“You’re scaring away my customers!”  
Sonny appeared under Joel’s arm, beaming. “I love dancing!” He took off after them and joined in, adding his voice to Gaspard’s recorder. Then Dillon and Jake came out and they were dancing too.  
“God damnit!” Joel shook his fist at them.  
The dance party ended when Uffie and her friend Steve appeared. Steve was delighted and he joined them immediately, jumping around like a madman. Uffie laughed and clapped her hands together. Then she sobered up and pulled Steve away.  
“We have plans, dear,” she reminded him softly. She waved at them all and left, but not before giving Sebastian a pitying look. Then the pizza boys were summoned back by Joel and Sebastian and Xavier stopped moving. Sebastian sighed.  
“Are you hanging out with me just to distract me from the fact that everyone is spending time with Seb Tellier?”  
Gaspard quit playing the recorder and put an arm around Sebastian’s shoulders. “Let’s go to your apartment. I’ll make you something.”  
Sebastian let him lead the way. He’d go anywhere if it meant eating Gaspard’s food. He whipped together a delightful pasta dish, which the three of them ate on the couch.  
“You need a table,” Xavier said. “And chairs and a maybe a lamp and—”  
Gaspard put his hand on Xavier’s shoulder. Xavier swallowed his words.  
“You like it here?” he asked instead.  
Sebastian shrugged. “Yeah. Better than a dorm.”  
Gaspard smiled. “Those dorms were just awful. Remember when you had a roommate?”  
“For about a month,” Sebastian said.  
“Before you scared him off.” Gaspard laughed.  
“How’d you manage that?” Xavier asked.  
Sebastian glanced at the wall, remembering fondly. “I think refusing to wear clothes was the last straw.”  
Xavier smiled. “You’re lucky he wasn’t a freak like us.”  
“I wouldn’t have minded a freak like you,” Sebastian said. “That was the trouble. He was normal.”  
Gaspard, who sat in the corner of the couch, put an arm around both of them and brought them close with a smile. “I’m so happy to see you two getting along. My grumpy boys. Let’s watch a movie and preserve the moment.”  
“Sebastian the monk doesn’t have a TV,” Xavier said.  
“You know…Franck has a TV,” Sebastian offered.  
And that’s how they wound up watching The Avengers at Franck’s place. He was happy to have them over. Xavier quietly assented to the movie choice, while Gaspard just seemed happy to be in a room with them all.  
“I hope you don’t mind,” Franck said, nervously picking at the DVD case. “I just…it’s Thorsday.”  
“Ah, whatever, just put it on,” Xavier had said, sitting on the ground at Gaspard’s feet. “As long its not boring, I don’t care what we watch.”  
“Oh, this isn’t boring,” Franck said, eyes bright. He put the DVD in and nearly backed up into the table as he tried to take a seat. “It’s…really good. I’m assuming you haven’t seen any of the other super hero movies tied in with it…”  
“I’ve seen superhero movies,” Xavier said, defensive. “I saw teenage mutant ninja turtles when I was like 12.”  
Franck laughed at him. “Wow. Yeah. Nope. That doesn’t count. This,” he pointed at the screen as it came to life. “Is a superhero movie.”  
They all leaned back and let it happen. Sebastian remembered watching Tron with everyone. He looked at Xavier, leaning on Gaspard’s legs, and remembered Kavinsky doing the same to him. He missed the pressure of another body. Franck was there. He could have done the same to him, but it didn’t feel right. Not when he was thinking about someone else.  
The movie was better than he expected. Gaspard and Xavier nodded approvingly.  
“Not bad,” Xavier said. “But…is there going to be another? Because there are about a hundred things they haven’t resolved. Also are we supposed to assume everyone is gay or…?”  
Gaspard put his hands on Xavier’s shoulders, smiling at Franck. “We should head home. Thanks for having us, Franck.”  
“Yeah, thanks,” Xavier added. “But you better tell me when the other one comes out.”  
Franck grinned. When they were gone, he looked over at Sebastian and pulled the sleeves of his flannel over his hands. “Are you…staying…or?”  
Sebastian took a breath. “I…shouldn’t. I think I need to sleep in my own bed for once…”  
Franck looked like he was ready to accept this, tugging on his sleeves. Then he straightened up. “Can I ask you something?”  
Sebastian nodded.  
“Do you want to stay?” Franck asked, studying him.  
His breath left him. Sebastian tried not to smile. “Yeah.”  
“Well I want you to stay too. So why don’t you?”  
Sebastian gave him a dry look. “I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. You know I’m not 100%. I do want to stay, but not for the right reasons.”  
“What is the right reason? Just so I’m clear,” Franck said.  
Sebastian stuck his hands in his pockets. He didn’t want to be brutally honest but he had to. With Franck, he had to. “The right reason…would be that I’m only thinking about you and not him.”  
“And what if it’s alright with me that you don’t have the right reason,” Franck said.  
Sebastian was shaking his head. “It’s not alright. I like you too much to use you like that.”  
“But not enough to stay?” Franck asked.  
“You’re not going to make this easy,” Sebastian sighed. “I really need to be alone tonight. I think maybe I’ll take your advice and talk to Kav again tomorrow. And then you’ll be the first to know how it goes. But I don’t want to be that guy who always shows up here whenever things are rocky. I want to be friends with you, but when I’m in a good place.”  
Franck nodded. “Thanks. I think.”  
Sebastian walked over to him and squeezed his hand. “I’ll talk to you later.” Then he left before Franck could convince him to stay. He knew it wouldn’t have taken much. He left while he still felt like he was making the right choice.  
   
18  
this story is now legal

 

It didn’t take long for the idea to set in. Sebastian wasn’t even trying to sleep. He was sitting on the couch, because the bed was still too foreign and didin’t belong in the apartment yet. It about 3 cigarettes in that he thought, I could just go over there right now.  
But no that would be a stupid idea. Sebastian had work and what if Kav turned him away and it was much too late but the walls were closing in.  
He made tea. To delay the choice. Peppermint. He nursed it slowly with the help of another cigarette, wondering what could possibly happen.  
Kav could tell him to just go home, that they could talk later. He could say he’d made a mistake and missed him. He could say he’d made a mistake and they should never see each other again. Or he could say that they shouldn’t be together, but that he couldn’t stay away.  
Sebastian thought the latter was the most obvious choice. He thought a lot of things. And by the time it was 2 in the morning, he was thinking he should just go and demand a straight answer. He needed to know. It wasn’t fair to keep him confused.  
Anger drove him to put his coat on and stand by the door of his apartment. Loneliness was what made him turn the knob. But the thought of Kavinsky himself convinced Sebastian to walk the freezing cold blocks down to his apartment. November had set in quite decidedly and Sebastian hugged his coat tighter.  
Coffee Cats was mostly dark, except for a light coming from the office. He figured Bertrand was inside. Which meant the night crew was out and about. Sebastian thought about going in and talking to Bertrand, to let someone turn him around because this was probably a stupid idea.  
But then he was climbing the stairs and standing outside the apartment door. He called Kavinsky. It rang several times and picked up only right before the answering machine.  
There was silence for a minute. Then, “Is…everything okay?” his voice was barely audible.  
Sebastian was shaking his head. He shouldn’t be here. “No. Come outside.” And then he hung up. He was staring at the stairs and seriously considering making a run for it when the door opened.  
Kavinsky stepped out in jeans and a tee shirt. “Fuck, it’s cold.”  
Sebastian nodded. He was waiting to be invited inside but it didn’t happen.  
“I can’t just sit in my apartment and wait for you to sort this out,” Sebastian said. “I’m a part of this. I should get a say.”  
Kavinsky nodded. “Why didn’t you just call me or…?”  
“I don’t want to let you put this off,” Sebastian answered, feeling angry again. “Just…please give me a straight answer. What is happening with you? Why don’t you want to talk about it with me? People who care about each other talk about this shit.”  
Kavinsky stared right at him, body hunched over with the cold. His mouth was open a little. The words were caught in his throat. And then the door creaked open.  
“You okay?”  
It was not Xavier, or Gaspard, who he would have expected, or even Pedro which would have sucked but who would have been fine to see. Sebastian barely recognized Other Seb’s voice, considering he’d clearly just woken up. There could have been an explanation—he was bumming on their couch or just happened to be there for Gaspard or Xavier. But it was Kavinsky’s face that really gave him away. The shame that crept into his eyes.  
Sebastian automatically touched his stomach, afraid he might be nauseas.  
Kavinsky took a step forward and Sebastian stepped back, the railing digging into his hip.  
“I do…care,” Kavinsky said lamely.  
Sebastian narrowed his eyes. “You have a funny way of showing it.”  
“This wasn’t supposed to happen,” Kav dug the heels of his hands into his eyes.  
“Yeah, I get it,” Sebastian said. “Why don’t you just go ahead and forget everything I said to you. Or, better yet, forget I ever existed. That would be…fantastic.” The last word came out between his teeth.  
He hurried down the stairs, the cold biting into his hands and face.  
Kav watched him go, and said nothing, and that hurt worst of all.  
\---  
“You need to burn more stuff?” Stefan exclaimed when Sebastian walked into the liquor store.  
“Nope,” he said, a crazed smile on his face.  
They nodded solemnly and Olle jumped over the counter so he could grab something for Sebastian. Then he handed a large bottle to him.  
“This one’s on the house,” he said, grinning. “But on one condition. You drink it with us.”  
Sebastian shrugged. “Whatever gets me drunker faster…”  
The three of them wound up sitting on the floor behind the register, passing the bottle around them.  
“Man, he doesn’t know what he’s missing!” Stefan shouted. “You’re great!”  
Sebastian shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m kind of a bastard.”  
Olle put his arm around Seb’s shoulders. “I bet he is scared of you.”  
“Yes!” Stefan threw his hands up. “Scared of how great you are!”  
They laughed and shook Sebastian and then he started laughing too. “Yes. I am great! And I don’t need him.”  
“Yes! He is lucky to have been a…fleeting moment in your…saga of greatness,” Olle said, quietly.  
Sebastian and Stefan looked at him, open mouthed.  
“That was…beautiful,” Stefan said.  
“You should be a poet,” Sebastian said and took another drink. “And I should be single and get to do whatever I want. And you, Stefan…you just keep being…amazing!”  
Sebastian slid down onto the floor and closed his eyes. “Comfy floor…”  
The Swedes laughed and it was the last thing Sebastian heard before hurtling into a fitful sleep. He woke up in the act of being swallowed by a large and delightful sofa. Olle walked into the room with two mugs of coffee.  
“You’re going to need them both,” he said and set them on the table.  
“Thanks,” Sebastian rubbed his forehead. “You guys are the best.”  
“Don’t we know it!” he said and grinned. Sebastian began sipping the coffee. It was pretty good, but not Coffee Cats good.  
Stefan peeked his head into the room. “Sleeping Beauty is up! Perfect. I think you’re beardy friend is looking for you.”  
Sebastian got to his feet and stepped out of the back room. Stefan directed him to the front window, where he saw Gaspard standing in front of Coffee Cats, looking down the street towards Seb’s apartment building.  
“He looks worried,” Stefan said. Then he opened the door and shouted. “YOU LOOKING FOR THIS?!”  
Gaspard turned and saw Sebastian and let out a sigh. Then he gestured for Sebastian to come to him.  
“Thanks, both of you,” Sebastian said. He handed the mug over and walked down the steps to the sidewalk. Stefan and Olle stood side by side, waving at him. When Sebastian crossed the street, Gaspard put his arms around him.  
“I was worried sick about you,” he said. “Don’t do that again.”  
“Do what?” Sebastian asked.  
“Sebastian…it’s ten o’clock in the morning. No one’s been able to reach you. Uffie went to your apartment but you weren’t there and you weren’t with Kav or Franck and…” Gaspard hugged him again. “Don’t do that to me.”  
Sebastian wanted to laugh, until he remembered why he’d gone disappearing. Kavinsky. Sebastian.  
Seb pulled away from Gaspard. “Did you know?”  
“Know what?” Gaspard asked. He looked genuinely confused.  
Sebastian’s gaze slid to the side. He stuck his hands in his coat pockets. “Never mind.”  
“Come on,” Gaspard said and took his elbow. “Let’s get you warmed up. You look a little…frazzled.”  
When he stepped into Coffee Cats, Uffie threw herself at him.  
“What did those Swedes do to you? Are you hurt? Tell Uffie what’s wrong.”  
Sebastian couldn’t bring himself to say anything. He sighed and shrugged and avoided eye contact.  
Uffie’s face fell. “Seb?”  
“Can I…have some coffee?” he asked.  
She nodded, concern etched into her face. Sebastian retreated to the kitchen. Gaspard frowned.  
“You know…you can just take the day off if you want to…”  
“I’ll be fine,” Sebastian mumbled.  
Gaspard nodded warily. “Yeah…okay…”  
The menu for the day had been written on a post it and stuck to one of the cabinets in the kitchen. Sebastian looked it over, and then decided he was going to make something else.  
Gaspard watched, but didn’t say anything, as he grabbed various ingredients. Internally, Gaspard sighed, knowing this was something Seb just had to do. He had the look in his eyes. He’d seen the very same look in Xavier’s eyes and he knew it just had to run its course.  
When the pastries had baked, Seb brought them out himself and put them in the display case. Fabien grinned.  
“Those look new! Did you make something yourself?”  
Sebastian nodded. “Yep.”  
“I’ll write them up,” he climbed onto the back counter and grabbed a piece of chalk. “What are they called?”  
“They’re called ‘Fuck you, whore’,” Sebastian said.  
Fabien looked at him, and then shrugged. “Whatever you say, man.”  
He wrote up the name onto the chalkboard. Uffie was frowning, and chewing on her lip.  
“Sebby, do we need to talk?” she asked.  
“No,” he said. “I very much do not want to talk.”  
She took a breath. “Because it kind of seems like you need to talk…”  
“Just leave me to my baking, woman,” he growled and went back into the kitchen.  
Uffie and Fabien exchanged glances. Fabien pulled out one of the pastries and put it on a plate. “Wanna split it?” he asked.  
Uffie nodded and they each got a fork. The flaky pastry was in the shape of a heart, which automatically had Uffie worried. And when Fabien stabbed the center with his fork, strawberry filling burst out and bleed all over the plate. Uffie gasped. Fabien took a bite.  
“Wow, this is pretty good,” he said. “But…kind of…strange. Almost like there’s salt in there.”  
Salt in the wound. Uffie put her fork down and took her apron off.  
“Where are you going?” Fabien asked as she rounded the corner.  
“I have something to take care of,” she said and threw open the doors.  
She stormed around the building and towards the apartments. Bertrand was leaning on the railing, looking exhausted per usual, cigarette hanging limply from his fingers.  
“Hey,” he said to her.  
Uffie took the stairs two at a time and began banging on the door to Kavinsky’s apartment.  
“GET OUT HERE YOU SONUVABITCH!”  
Bertrand’s eyes went wide. “Uff?”  
Uffie waited five seconds before banging again. “I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME YOU COWARD!”  
“I’ll just…be in here…” Bertrand slowly began to retreat back into his apartment.  
“THE FUCKING TESTA IS RIGHT THERE, I KNOW YOU’RE INSIDE,” She went on. “You know. Fine. You don’t want to talk. LET’S SEE WHAT THE TESTA HAS TO SAY!”  
She pulled out her keys and descended the stairs. The testarossa was parked beside Pedro’s truck. There was a little sign above it that said, You can look but don’t touch. Uffie brandished her key to Coffee Cats, a particularly old and knobby one. Just as she was about to touch the paint, the door above opened.  
“Not the testa!” Kavinsky shouted and then immediately covered his mouth.  
Uffie glared daggers at him. “And why not?”  
“Please…she’s innocent,” Kavinsky pleaded.  
Uffie set the key against the car, but didn’t move it. “What did you do to him?”  
Kavinsky sighed. “Uffie, why don’t you just come up here and we can talk like civilized—” he froze as she dragged the key across the passenger door. “STOP PLEASE!”  
She pointed the key at him. “You tell me what you did right this second, or I will turn her to ribbons.”  
Kavinsky’s head hung and he leaned on the railing. “I screwed everything up.”  
“No shit, Sherlock,” she yelled. Then she climbed the stairs again and got in his face. “Did you know this was his first actual relationship? Did you know that? That beautiful thing cares about you. You, the walking disaster zone! And this is how you repay him?”  
She put her keys away, shaking her head. “God, I thought for a minute you could actually do this. But I was obviously wrong.”  
That’s when Pedro rounded the corner. “Hey…guys. What’s going on?”  
Uffie wheeled around and walked down the stairs. “Ask him.” She disappeared into Coffee Cats. Pedro looked up at Kavinsky as he laid his head on the railing.  
“What’s it like?” Pedro asked, sticking his hands in his pockets.  
Kavinsky sighed. “Tornadoes. Hurricanes. Possible bombings on the way.”  
Pedro exhaled slowly. “Damnit Vinco.”  
\---  
When Uffie returned to Coffee Cats, she found Sebastian in the kitchen. His hands were buried in dough, and she slipped her arms around his stomach and rested her head against his back.  
“It’s fine,” he said, his voice shaking  
“No it’s not,” she said quietly.  
“Uffie I don’t want to do this.” His hands became fists and the dough swelled around them.  
She squeezed him tighter. “I’m so sorry.”  
He squeezed his eyes shut and gritted his teeth and held his breath. But he couldn’t stop the sadness that was threatening to boil over. He grabbed Uffie’s hand and held on tight.  
“Fuck,” he breathed.  
“Maybe you should get home,” she said. “We’ll check up on you, kay?”  
He nodded. “Yeah okay.”  
She let go of him and smiled. “The ‘fuck you whore’ is pretty tasty. You should have one.”  
Sebastian let her untie his apron and fold it nicely on the counter, and then retrieve his coat. Then she patted his back and sent him on his way. He got home and stared at his empty bed and wound up on the floor, writing on the walls again. He hadn’t done it in a while. But now there was too much in his head and no where to put it, so he threw it on the walls.  
Gaspard came first to check on him. He had some bread and cheese and they ate it together, talking about taking a much-needed vacation.  
“If you could go anywhere, where would you go?” Gaspard asked him.  
He shrugged. “Somewhere I’ve never been before.”  
“You ever been to the beach?” Gaspard looked up at him.  
Seb shook his head. “Never really seemed like a place I’d want to be…”  
“It could still be fun,” Gaspard said. “Maybe the whole shop could go together.”  
“You’ll just make fun of me because I don’t have a bathing suit.”  
Gaspard mulled this over. “Well, yes. But then we’ll have fun.”  
After Gaspard left, Breakbot stopped by and fed Sebastian grapes.  
“I have all these grapes,” he said when he walked into the apartment with a bag full of grapes on the stem. “And I don’t know what to do with them.”  
“Right here,” Sebastian said from his spot on the floor, pointing to his mouth.  
Breakbot sat next to him and fed him.  
“What do you do when you’re not at Coffee Cats?” Sebastian asked.  
Breakbot nodded. “I run a blog about food. It’s called Breakblog. It very well regarded.”  
“I bet,” Sebastian said. “You would be a food reviewer.”  
“Yes,” Breabot sighed. “The only problem is I only ever eat Gaspard’s food. And so they’re always good reviews.”  
Sebastian laughed quietly.  
“You know,” Break said. “Uffie keyed Kavinsky’s car.”  
Sebastian stared up at him. “She didn’t.”  
“She did,” he looked back at him. “Uffie is very much a mother cat. And you are among her favorites.”  
“Wow…” Sebastian smiled. “I’m glad she’s on my side.”  
After Breakbot, the mother cat herself swung by with a bottle of wine.  
“Oh, Uffie, I still have a headache from last night,” he said when he saw her.  
She smiled. “This isn’t to get you drunk, sweet thing. This is to help you sleep. I’m here to put you to bed. You need proper rest. We’re closed tomorrow so it’s perfect for you to sleep all day. I also have…” she set the bottle down and pulled out something wrapped in tinfoil and handed it to him. “Pedro sends his regards.”  
He unwrapped one of Pedro’s marvelous grilled cheese sandwiches.  
“There’s turkey, because turkey makes you sleepy,” she said with a smile.  
Sebastian took a bite and sighed into the sandwich. “Did you really key his car?”  
She made a face. “You weren’t supposed to know about that.”  
He cracked a smile. “I think you’re the best bro I’ve ever had.”  
She curtsied. “Aw, shucks. Now drink your wine. I’m not leaving until you’re asleep.”  
It didn’t take long. He hadn’t fully recovered from the night before. But he woke up in the middle of the night and found himself wide awake. After half an hour of staring at the ceiling he got his phone out. He was scrolling through his contacts when Kavinsky’s name popped up. He deleted it and then immediately regretted it, but there was no going back because he sure as hell didn’t have the number memorized and wasn’t about to ask anyone else for it.  
He sighed. It was for the best. The phone sat like a paperweight in his hand. It was 2:00. This was fast becoming the time bad decisions were made.  
After approximately 17 attempts to write out messages and then erasing them and starting again, he texted Franck are you awake?. The response came quickly.  
I could be…  
Sebastian smiled. I woke you up didn’t i?  
Franck responded with No, the phone woke me, actually. Not your fault I had the ringer at top volume. What’s up?  
Sebastian asked if he could come over. Franck said of course. Sebastian rode the elevator feeling completely at odds with himself. Half of him wanted very much to be in Franck’s presence, and the other half was pissed at himself for completely giving Franck the wrong idea and just wanted to crawl into a hole. He knocked on his door anyway.  
Franck smiled, not quite awake but getting there.  
Sebastian offered him bread. Franck looked relieved. He sat on his couch and Seb sat next to him. He broke off a piece and held it up to Franck who opened his mouth.  
“There’s chocolate in this,” Franck mumbled.  
“Yep,” Sebastian said.  
“Bless you,” Franck closed his eyes. “More please.”  
Sebastian gave him another piece. He sighed. “Gaspard is a God among men.”  
“Well, actually this is from the batch that I made.”  
Franck looked at him and smiled. “My mistake. You’ve learned a lot.” Then he reached over and pushed Seb’s hair back. “This will be a lot easier if you just tell me what happened.”  
Sebastian looked at the ground. “I went to talk to him.”  
“And?” Franck pulled his hand back.  
Sebastian took a deep breath. “Seb Tellier was there with him.”  
Franck nodded. “Well that could have just been—”  
“At two in the morning,” Sebastian said. “Kav could have denied it. He could have said anything. But he didn’t. He just let me walk away.”  
“Oh…” Franck touched his mouth. “Oh…”  
Sebastian leaned back on the couch. “I guess…it’s for the best. It would have probably been worse if he’d had to explain it to me the next day. This way I know exactly what he is. And we can leave it at that.”  
“Are you…okay?” Franck asked.  
Sebastian closed his eyes. He wanted to say yes I’m fine but the words wouldn’t come. He shook his head.  
Franck sat there, debating whether it was a good idea to touch him or not. Then he jumped up. Sebastian opened one eye and watched him disappear.  
“I know what you need,” he called from the bedroom.  
Sebastian felt a dizzy feeling coming over him. He stood up, fully prepared to follow Franck into his room, but Franck reappeared holding something in each hand. He handed one to Sebastian.  
“Distraction,” he said.  
Sebastian held up an old mask of Franck’s. He looked up at Franck, who had a small smile on his lips.  
“Want to go on an adventure?”  
Sebastian stared at the mask. It was clearly an older version. The stitching wasn’t as clean and the material was thicker. Franck took a step closer, titling his head to the side. When Sebastian didn’t react, Franck leaned towards him and nudged him with his nose.  
“Come on.”  
Then he took his arm and led him towards the door. Franck had his backpack slung over his shoulder, and cans of spray paint clinked around. The elevator was small. Sebastian looked at Franck’s profile, and watched a change occur. It was the change from Franck to Danger. He closed his eyes and his hands moved in small motions. Sebastian wondered if he was picturing an image to paint.  
The doors opened and they stepped into the lobby. “Ready?”  
Sebastian nodded. Franck put on his mask and then Sebastian put his on and they set out.  
Franck seemed to know where he was going. He walked with purpose, looking back every minute or so to make sure Seb was still there. When they reached the park, he turned and started going through it, winding Sebastian through pathways he hadn’t been down.  
He turned back to Sebastian at one point and started talking fast. “The park’s pretty old. It’s connected to property that can’t be tampered with because apparently an elderly woman won’t sell. Anyway…”  
He took Sebastian’s hand and pushed aside some branches so he could pass. Beyond, there was the ruins of an old house.  
“I like to come here to practice,” Franck said. He set his bag down and set to work. He talked as he went. “When I first found it, I went through the whole building.” He was putting up a square of black to work on. “The top floor is pretty much gone, though you can still climb over the rafters.”  
Sebastian watched through the mask, trying to imagine Franck crawling through this old house, liking this side of him more and more. The image on the building was becoming a storefront. Sebastian took a few steps closer.  
“Why do you need him?” Sebastian asked.  
Franck turned to him. The mask stared at him with large white eyes. “What?”  
“Danger,” he clarified.  
Sebastian touched his own mask. Franck paused a minute before going back to painting. Sebastian could see it now. The front of Coffee Cats. It looked like he could just open the door and step right in. Franck took a few steps back from it, so he was side by side with Sebastian.  
“Well…” Franck said. “I guess…he makes me brave. If I can have a new face, then it means I can be a new me.”  
Sebastian put his hand on Franck’s mask. “I like both of you.”  
“You’re just saying that because you’re heartbroken,” Franck said. Sebastian could feel him smiling under the material.  
“No, I’ve always liked you. You’ve just been off limits…”  
Franck turned to him and shook his head. “Now you’re going to tell me you shouldn’t be here.”  
Sebastian shook his head. “You’re not stupid. Well, maybe just a little. You know I’ve been…” he sighed, trying not to think about Kavinsky. “You know I’ve been hurt. But you also can’t seem to accept that I might actually like you. You know, for you. Mask and all.”  
Sebastian reached for Franck’s mask, pulling the edges up just a little. He saw Franck’s smile and it was enough. It was stupid and he wasn’t thinking straight, but knowing he could make someone feel like that and not have them try to find an excuse to leave put him over the edge.  
But before Sebastian could think about how to approach him, Franck grabbed at Seb’s mask and pulled it up and they were kissing and then he wasn’t so cold anymore.  
   
19

HOT TAMALES

It took them a little longer to get home, when they had to stop every few minutes to bring the feeling back. Franck was different. Sebastian would have to get used to him. He wanted to get used to him.  
The euphoria of kissing him almost eclipsed the lingering pain in his chest. When they got back to Franck’s apartment, the fire had started to burn out. Sebastian started to feel how late it was. Franck laughed at him.  
“You’re literally falling asleep on me,” he said as Sebastian sank onto the couch. He had his arms around Franck’s waist and his head resting on his stomach.  
“Sorry…”  
Franck smiled. “Well…don’t even try to get out of spending the night.”  
“Is this you being assertive?” Sebastian asked.  
“Yes,” Franck said, louder. “Get in bed…damnit.”  
Sebastian laughed quietly. He looked up at Franck who kept trying not to smile, but it kept showing through.  
“You really like me,” Sebastian said, confused.  
“You’re really tired,” Franck pulled him up by his arms. “Come on.”  
Sebastian took his coat off and then Franck stood awkwardly next to his bed. “Uh…you first?”  
Sebastian rolled his eyes and got under the covers and pulled as many blankets over him as possible. Franck slid in next to him. For a minute they laid there separately, listening to each other breathe. Then Sebastian reached for him but they both turned on their sides and there was nowhere to go and Franck laughed, putting his face in a pillow.  
“Sorry.”  
Sebastian smiled and tugged on Franck’s shirt. “You come here.”  
Franck put his head on Sebastian’s chest. “I’m not very good at this.”  
“Trust me,” Sebastian wrapped his arms around him. “Neither am I.”  
\--  
Sebastian woke up alone. The room was dark and he couldn’t tell what time it was. When he got up, there was a note on the back of the door.  
Had to go to work. Couldn’t bring myself to wake you.  
Sebastian checked his phone. 11 am. He rubbed his eyes. It was weird being rested.  
He got back to his apartment and called Uffie. She answered in a hushed tone.  
“What’s up sweet thing, I’m at work?”  
“Oh, sorry. I just…weird…things. I feel weird.”  
“Aw,” she sighed into the phone. “Never you mind, Tim!” she shouted to someone else. “I’m a little tied up. Why don’t you talk to Franck? I know you guys like to discuss things.”  
“That’s…kind of…the weird thing.” He sat on the couch heavily.  
“Oh you didn’t!” she shouted. Then she lowered her voice. “Did you rebound with my baby deer?”  
“God, you make it sound so awful,” he pushed his fingers through his hair. “He’s not actually a deer you know.”  
“To each his own,” she snapped. “What happened? You’re a bit of a menace, aren’t you? Do I need to start locking up Breakbot?”  
“No, no, no,” he tried to explain. “Look, I know he’s liked me for a while. And I know that’s awful, but he’s smart. He knows what’s going on. That’s what he keeps telling me anyway.”  
“Just because he’s smart doesn’t mean he won’t make stupid decisions. Especially not if he’s taking his cues from you.”  
“Ouch,” he said loudly.  
“Seb. Take a breather. Like, from people you’re attracted to. Please. I don’t blame you for…trying to feel better. But try not to drag anyone down with you. Especially not him, he’s too sweet for this bullshit.”  
“What if I actually…care about him?” Sebastian asked.  
“Then you know it’s a bad idea to get involved right now. Give it a few days. Calm down. If you still feel the same way, maybe think about starting something proper. In the mean time, just stare at Gaspard’s beard or something.”  
“I’m sorry Uffie,” he said, resting his elbows on his knees. “I don’t…know what I’m doing. If I’m alone for too long it just comes back. All I can see is his stupid face.”  
“I know, babe,” she said, voice softening. “I really…really am sorry. You didn’t deserve that. Please just hang tight. Be with friends. Actual plutonic friends. With beards. You don’t strike me as the beard type.”  
Sebastian almost smiled. “Thanks, Uff.”  
“I’ll come see you as soon as possible, kay? But I have to go now,” she said.  
He nodded. “Go. Make money.”  
She laughed. “Bye baby.”

Hour 1 was spent on the couch, reading the same sentence about 50 times, trying to stop thinking about life. Trying not to picture either Franck or Kavinsky which felt like switching between fire and ice and he just wound up throwing the book across the room.  
At hour 2 he thought about calling Gaspard. So he did.  
“What?” it was Xavier.  
“Uh, is Gaspard…there?” Sebastian asked.  
Xavier huffed. “What do you need him for?”  
“To talk?” Sebastian tried not to get frustrated with him.  
“He’s asleep. Talk to me.”  
Sebastian sighed. “It’s okay…I’ll just see him later.”  
“What, I’m not good enough for your drama? I can be helpful like him.”  
Sebastian laughed. “Oh yeah, real helpful.”  
“Try me, asshole,” Xavier was clearly not letting up.  
Sebastian leaned his head back. “It’s not that complicated. You’re roommate is a dick.”  
“Kavinsky?” Xavier scoffed. “God, what did he do now?”  
“Pretty sure he got back with his ex,” Sebastian said. “Without telling me.”  
“Oh for fuck’s sake, KAVINSKY,” Xavier suddenly screamed. Sebastian’s heart rate doubled.  
“I don’t want to talk to him,” he said to Xavier.  
“Oh hush,” Xavier said to him. Then he was clearly speaking to someone else. “Did you fucking cheat on Sebastian…well what the fuck? Yes he’s on the phone…no you can’t talk to him, ya douche bag…you really think he cares? Oh, go back to brooding in your room.”  
There was silence for a minute and then the closing of a door. “Alright, well Kavinsky’s a shithead. How long do you plan on being mad at him?”  
Sebastian blinked. “Uh…not really something I thought about.”  
“Couple weeks? Months? There are holidays to consider, you know.”  
“Well…I mean, it’d be nice to say I’d be over it by thanksgiving, but that’s not something my brain usual responds to.” Sebastian rubbed his eyes.  
It sounded like Xavier was walking outside. “Well don’t make it awkward, okay? Gaspard would hate that.”  
“Yeah okay,” Sebastian found himself saying.  
“Are you getting over this or are you being stupid?” Xavier asked.  
“I might be…a little stupid,” Sebastian said. “But it’s in the interest of getting over this.”  
“Don’t fuck things up,” Xavier said. “But don’t wallow in self pity either. I have to go.”  
And then he hung up. Sebastian just shook his head for a while after that.  
Hour 3 involved debating whether or not he could call Franck without it resulting in bad choices. He tried to imagine how their conversation would go. Most of the time the scenario ended the same.  
Then he got a text. From a number he didn’t have in his phone. The message read I would very much like to speak with you. It didn’t exactly sound like Kav, but given that Sebastian just deleted his number, he didn’t know anyone else who would have texted him that wouldn’t be in his contact list.  
Staring at the text message took the rest of hour 3 and most of hour 4. He didn’t know what to do about it. It probably made sense to talk to him. But also, he really didn’t want to so much as look at him, let alone listen to him speak. And that could really lead to bad choices.  
But, he wanted to know. He wanted to know what in the name of Jesus was going through his head when he did what he did. More than anything, he wanted to know why Kav would hurt him.  
So, with all his internal voices telling him it was a terrible idea, he wrote back, fine.  
He responded, asking him to meet him in Coffee Cats while the night crew was away. His texts were oddly formal, but he just figured Kav felt awkward.  
Agreeing to the meet up twisted his stomach into knots. Just as he was considering going out to stop into Daft Records, there was a knock on his door. He frowned at it. He wasn’t expecting anyone. But Kavinsky would be annoying enough to show up here.  
He creaked the door open to see Franck standing there. His black bag was slung over one shoulder and he was staring at his feet. When Sebastian got over the initial shock, he took in Franck’s striped sweater and dark jeans and the smile creeping onto his face.  
“Hey,” Franck said, finally looking at him. “I would like to see you. Tonight. If you want to…”  
“Oh you were doing so well for a second,” Sebastian lit a cigarette. “But if you’re going to surprise someone, you probably shouldn’t ask if they want to.” He leaned on the doorway and waited, enjoying this game.  
Franck tried to deny his smile. “Sebastian, I am taking you out tonight. It’s a surprise. I…hope you don’t have plans.”  
Sebastian glared.  
Franck clasped his hands together. “Because they’ll be sad when you don’t show up. Because you’re coming out with me.” Then he raised his eyebrows up and down. “Pretty good yeah?”  
Seb laughed and smoke drifted around them. “I’m not supposed to see you. Uffie’s orders.”  
“Ah,” Franck nodded. “See I forgot to mention that I’m also one of her favorites. There might be a conflict of interest.”  
“Tricky…” Sebastian stared at him and Franck stared back. “She’s right though. This would by normal definitions be considered a rebound and you deserve better than that.”  
Franck’s expression shifted ever so slightly. “I’m flattered. She is right, of course. She’s always right. I should probably go, but, thing is, I don’t want to go.”  
“I don’t want you to go either,” Sebastian said. The hand that had his chest in a stranglehold was starting to let up. He fed off Franck’s bravery.  
“Good,” Franck said and rocked back on his heels. “Uhm…”  
“Are you actually going to stay…or…?” Sebastian posed the question but before he could end it, Franck kissed him. Sebastian dropped his cigarette. His hands were drawn to Franck’s chest, then to his neck and through his hair. For a split second his brain went back to Kavinsky, to the feel of him, so Sebastian pulled away.  
“Are you okay?” Franck asked.  
Sebastian nodded. He touched Franck’s face with his fingertips.  
“Sebastian?” Franck’s voice was soft.  
Sebastian kissed him again, much gentler. “I just need to get to know you.”  
He put his hand in Franck’s and pulled him inside the apartment. Franck followed him quietly. He led him to the couch, because the bed was too much for him at that moment. They sat down and Sebastian pushed him back so he could lean over his face. A new face. One that had its own expressions and quirks. Sebastian pressed his lips against Franck’s jawline. Franck reached his arms around Sebastian’s back, pulling him closer until Seb let his weight sink into Franck.  
Franck smiled and pushed Seb’s hair back. “I like being here.”  
“Good,” Sebastian said. Then he noticed that the sun had gone down. “Shit…”  
“What?” Franck asked as Sebastian got his phone out of his back pocket. Sebastian sighed and let his head fall onto Franck’s shoulder. “What’s wrong?”  
“I have to go do something,” Sebastian spoke into his sweater.  
“Something like what?” Franck asked, the worry evident in his voice.  
“I’m not really sure,” Sebastian told him. “I guess I’ll let you know when its over.”  
“Are you going to be okay?” Franck asked very quietly.  
Sebastian nodded and lifted his head again. Then he kissed Franck once more, to remember the feeling and bring it with him so he’d have the strength to be smart.  
“I will be,” he said.  
Franck looked a little dazed. “Can’t you…stay a little longer?”  
Sebastian smiled. “Maybe…just a little.”  
\--  
The walk to Coffee Cats was bitterly cold. Sebastian walked slowly, trying to convince himself not to just turn around and go right back to Franck. He felt sick. There would be no good from this.  
He opened the door to Coffee Cats, and was more than a little surprised to see Other Seb sitting on one of the couches. He gave a lackluster wave.  
“Hello.”  
Sebastian looked around the shop. “Where’s Kav?” He half expected the asshole to jump out and scare him.  
“Home, I would expect,” Sebastien said. “He’s not with me.”  
Sebastian looked at him again. “So…you texted me?”  
He nodded. “Yeah. I guess I should have said it was me, huh?” He smiled. “I can be a bit of a basket case sometimes. Sorry.”  
Sebastian shook his head. Then he walked over but didn’t sit down. “Alright then. What do you want?”  
Sebastien sighed. “Can you sit down?”  
Seb heaved a sigh. “I don’t really want to.”  
“It would make this easier,” Sebastien said. “Please. I feel really awful about what happened.”  
“You do, do you?” Sebastian rolled his eyes and sank heavily into an armchair. “Fancy that…”  
Sebastien turned to him. “I’m very sorry. If I had known you were going to get hurt, I never would have let that happen.”  
“And what exactly did you think was going to happen?” Sebastian asked.  
Sebastien sighed. “Vinco and I made a lot of bad choices, and when we ended, it was very sudden for him. And I realized it was for me too. I thought I was done and ready to move on but sometimes people just stick with you, like a thorn in your side.”  
“You saw us together,” Sebastian said, unable to keep the anger out of his voice.  
Sebastien made a face and looked away. “He told me that you weren’t together anymore. I realize now that that wasn’t exactly true.”  
Those words stung. Sebastian covered his face with his hands, trying to make sense of it without letting it tear him up.  
“I am sorry,” Sebastien went on. “I would never have gotten involved had I know you were still connected. I just figured…well I don’t know what I figured. You weren’t a real person to me yet. I’m sorry. I guess I was being selfish too. We’re not the most…stable people, he and I.”  
Sebastian took a deep breath and looked out at the semi-darkened store. “I guess he just told you what he wanted to be true.”  
“I don’t know if that’s right,” Sebastien said.  
“Regardless, it’s true now,” Sebastian told him. “You guys can…do whatever you want. I’m out of the picture.”  
Sebastien stood up. “Well, I’m not staying here. We can’t possibly fix things. But you two might be able to.”  
“Not interested,” Sebastian said to the floor.  
Sebastien smiled. “You say that, but…some people can’t be given up so easily. If anything, I’m proof of that. I tried to get away from him. Not because he was bad. It was because…I couldn’t handle how much he liked me. I’d never met anyone who could just throw themselves into something so completely. And, yes, it gets him into trouble, but having him on your side is one of the best feelings.”  
Sebastian didn’t want to like this guy. He wanted to be mad at him for being careless and stupid. But something about him was too damn easy going. Seb couldn’t even be jealous. The guy was just right.  
“I don’t want to want him,” Sebastian said.  
Sebastien nodded and put his hands into his pockets. “Do what makes you happy. I’m not telling you to get back together with him. I’m not even telling you to forgive him. I’m just very sorry that I might have ruined what you had.”  
“Stop being so fucking nice,” Sebastian said, rubbing his eyes.  
Sebastien half smiled. “It’s kind of my thing. I apologize. I’ll try to be meaner next time.”  
“When are you leaving?” Sebastian asked.  
“Right now,” Sebastien said. “Car’s out front. I think I did a little too much damage. I need to get home. Got my own problems to fix.”  
“Does he know you’re leaving?” Sebastian asked.  
Sebastien shook his head. “I don’t think it’s best if he knows.”  
“You’re just going to leave? What if you have more to sort out?” Sebastian stood. “What if this happens again?”  
“It won’t,” Sebastien said, his voice taking on a bit of an edge. “I promise.”  
Sebastian didn’t know what to do with this. It was too much, or not enough, he couldn’t decide. He was still angry and sad and nothing had been resolved, but he felt oddly at peace with the situation.  
“Thanks for meeting with me,” Sebastien said. He shook Sebastian’s hand. “I’m glad you took my job. From what I hear, you’re much better at it. Tell me honestly, do you like working here”  
Sebastian answered without hesitation. “Yes I do.”  
He smiled, looking relieved. “I’m happy they found someone who fits. Finally.”  
“Thank you for the apology,” Sebastian said.  
Sebastien Tellier nodded and stepped towards the door. “Hopefully next time we meet will be under better circumstances.”  
Then he left the shop. Sebastian watched as he got into his car and drove away. Then he sank back down into his chair. This wasn’t what he expected. It almost made it worse. Seb Tellier wasn’t a bad guy. He had no one to be angry with except Kav. And, as he sat on the couch, he realized that was not a confrontation he was not ready for.  
He heard footsteps and looked up to see Bertrand walking into the store.  
“Cold, isn’t it?” he asked.  
Seb nodded.  
“You want some hot cider?” Bertrand looked at him.  
They sat on the counter together, sipping hot cider. Sebastian looked at his feet.  
“So…how long have you and Pedro known each other?” he asked.  
Bertrand ran his hand through his hair. “God, feels like I’ve always known him. I’ve never known anyone like him before or since I’ve met him.”  
Sebastian sipped his cider.  
“Any reason you’re sitting in here alone at night?” Bertrand asked.  
Sebastian nodded. “Yeah.”  
Bertrand glanced at him and took a breath. “Does this have anything to do with the screaming match Uffie had with the apartment door upstairs?”  
“Yeah,” Sebastian relented.  
Bertrand looked like he was going to say something, but then he just took another sip of cider. Mr. Oizo appeared from the kitchen. He had his broom as always. He leaned on it and assessed the two of them.  
“Rough night?” he asked Sebastian.  
Sebastian stared at nothing. “Confusing.”  
“Want some whiskey?” Oizo asked.  
Sebastian shook his head. “I’d like to stay sober for a night.”  
“Well how about we watch something?” he asked.  
“I like how you think,” Bertrand pointed at him and hopped off the counter. “Come on, Seb,” he gestured for Sebastian to follow.  
The three of them went into the office. Bertrand opened one of the desk drawers and revealed a vast DVD collection.  
“Take your pick,” Bertrand said.  
Sebastian ran a finger across the spines, reading off movie titles in his head. He finally settled on Twin Peaks and they got Bertrand’s laptop and sat on the couch in the front of the store, watching it. One by one, the night crew returned, and like clock work, each one came in and asked, what are you doing? And Bertrand answered them and they would hedge for about a minute before joining them. And that’s how the night crew came to watch Twin Peaks together.  
\--  
Sebastian wound up staying up until the sun rose. Pedro and Gaspard showed up to start on Sunday Brunch and found them all staring blearily at the laptop.  
“What are you guys—”  
They all hushed him. When the episode ended, Sebastian stumbled home and collapsed into his bed for the first time since he’d brought it home.  
He woke up on the floor, his phone vibrating in his pocket.  
“Mmmm,” he answered, his throat too dry to get words out.  
“I was wondering…” It was Franck. “If you wanted to…do something. Today. Or tonight. Or tomorrow, even. Really I just want to know if you want to see me again.”  
“I’d like to see you again in approximately…17 days,” Sebastian said. “If that’s alright with you.”  
“Well…” Franck laughed quietly. “Uh, no, that isn’t okay with me. I have plans in 17 days.”  
“I’m just booked solid until then,” Sebastian said. “In fact, I’m only free once every 17 days from now until I die.”  
“That’s unfortunate,” Franck said. He was smiling through his voice. “I was…really hoping I’d see you today. I wanted to take you out.”  
“Out?” Sebastian asked. “Like out out?”  
“Like? A? date?” Every word was a question. Franck eased his way into it. “Do? You? Want to? Go on a date with me?”  
For a minute, all of last night, and all of the pain vanished. Franck was actually asking him out.  
“An honest to God date,” Sebastian said out loud.  
“See, there’s this diner a couple blocks away,” Franck explained. “Every Sunday they give you half off their pastries. And I know a waitress there. She’s very nice and always gives me discounts anyway, so it’d be very cheap. Not that I’d let you pay. I was going to pay for you. If you said yes. To the date…I’m not doing very well am I?”  
Sebastian laughed. “You’re doing fine. I’m almost going to say yes.”  
“Really?” Franck asked.  
“Did you really think I was going to say no?” Sebastian said.  
Franck became quieter. “Well…I knew what I wanted you to say. That didn’t mean you were going to say it.”  
Sebastian smiled, but it faded quickly. “I’ll say yes…on one condition.”  
“Name it,” Franck said eagerly.  
“We have to treat this right. Like a real first date. Pretend we never met before.”  
Sebastian got very quiet then. Franck as well.  
“I want to see if this can really work,” Sebastian said.  
“So do I,” Franck told him. “I’ll see you later then?”  
“Looking forward to it,” Sebastian said.  
   
20.

oh god 20. Oh no. oh this is a problem. This is too long. It’s illegal how long this is. 

Franck called back in about ten minutes. Sebastian answered, half expecting it to be a mistake.  
“I’m an idiot,” Franck said. “I said, ‘I’ll see you later’. We didn’t pick a time.”  
Sebastian smiled. “Didn’t even occur to me.”  
“Part of me just wanted to wait for, like, a couple hours and then just show up and see if it was okay, but that’s stupid. I don’t know what your plans are.”  
“I’m free all day, show up whenever you feel like it,” Sebastian told him.  
Franck sighed. “Oh good. Okay. Then I’ll pick you up at…seven?”  
“Are you asking or are you telling,” Sebastian said.  
Franck cleared his throat. “I will be at your apartment at seven.”  
“Do I have to dress up?” Sebastian asked.  
“it’s a diner, Sebastian, you wear whatever you want.”  
“Challenge accepted,” he said and hung up the phone.  
He didn’t mean anything by it. The day passed slowly. He knew he was going to wear the clothes Uffie had made him buy. They were the nicest things he owned. But then he got to thinking about Uffie and he started to feel bad about saying yes to Franck. Was it too soon? It still made him sick to think about Kavinsky, and part of him knew he was doing this to stay distracted, but he was almost positive that he was also genuinely interested in Franck as a person. He wanted to do this with someone normal. He wanted to know what it was really like, to be in a relationship. And Franck was the perfect person to do that with.  
Was he thinking too much about it? Probably. Did that stop him from feeling conflicted and continuing to ponder? No.  
It was almost a surprise when Franck knocked on the door. Almost. Sebastian opened up and found Franck dressed in an actual suit, standing in the hallway.  
“That’s…a nice suit,” he said.  
Franck smiled and gestured to him. “And you’re…lack of all black clothing looks lovely.”  
Sebastian tugged self-consciously at his jacket to hide the grey shirt underneath. Franck offered him his arm. As they got onto the elevator, Franck leaned towards him.  
“But, you know you’re kind of making me look weird,” he said quietly. “Just saying.”  
Sebastian tried not to smile. “How do you think I feel? It looks like I’m taking you to prom.”  
“Oh is that not what we’re doing?” Franck asked. “God d-did I say diner? I meant high school prom. And did I say I was in college? Nope, I’m a senior in high school. About to graduate with a scholarship to play ball.”  
“You’re freaking me out,” Sebastian said as the elevator doors opened.  
Franck laughed. “I’d show you my license but you haven’t earned that privilege.”  
They stepped onto the sidewalk and the looks began immediately. Franck just smiled and nodded at anyone who raised an eyebrow at him. Sebastian had no choice but to just walk along side him. They were getting farther from Coffee Cats, past the library and the park and Franck’s abandoned building.  
“Wow,” Sebastian said. “I just realized, the only reason I’ve ever left the street with Coffee Cats on it is because of you.”  
Franck smiled. “I’m okay with this fact. You should get out of there more often. There’s a lot to do around here.”  
Sebastian laughed. “Maybe you’re just leading me to a trap.”  
“Maybe,” Franck smiled. “Oh hey, have I ever shown you my white windowless van? It’s right down this ally. I think I have some candy under the seat.”  
“I bet you say that to all the girls,” Sebastian said.  
Franck was grinning. He led Sebastian one street over and they came up to the Red Diner. It looked like most diners do. Neon fluorescents and way too many mirrors. But there was something comfortable about it. Maybe it was just Franck in a suit, leading him by the hand.  
“Ready for some diner food?”  
Sebastian shook his head. “I’m never ready for diner food.”  
He laughed. “It’s okay. We’re only here for one reason.”  
They stepped inside and the host gave them two menus and told them they could sit wherever they liked.  
“Where’s Elly’s section?” Franck asked.  
“Wait, Uffie’s roommate works here too?” Sebastian asked.  
Franck shook his head. “Different Elly.”  
The host pointed them to the row of tables by the window. They sat at the end in a booth. A woman with a gravity-defying swoop of red hair sidled up to them. She grinned at Franck.  
“Look at you,” she said. “All dressed up with no where to go?”  
He shook his head. “We’re here. This is a place.”  
“Aw, hardly,” she waved a hand through the air. “You want your usual?”  
Franck nodded. Sebastian was smiling.  
“Do you have a usual everywhere?” he asked.  
The woman, Elly, smiled warmly. “Oh Franck is a creature of habit. That’s why he’s so reliable. I’ll be back in a jiff.”  
She disappeared into the kitchen. Franck leaned forward, resting his hands on the table. Sebastian shifted his feet and bumped into Franck’s legs.  
“Sorry,” he said. But he didn’t move.  
The smile slowly returned to Franck’s face. “I’m…kind of unbearably nervous.”  
Sebastian mirrored his posture, putting his hands on the table. “Let’s talk about something.”  
“Okay, what should we talk about?” Franck asked.  
Sebastian took a breath. “Stuff. That you like.”  
Franck covered his mouth as he laughed. “Gosh you’re a real smooth talker.”  
“I’m sorry, this isn’t something I’m used to doing,” Sebastian said.  
Franck nodded. “I know what you mean. I don’t think I’ve been on a date in…two years?”  
Sebastian smiled. “Well…counting tonight I’ve only ever been on about two dates. Ever.”  
Franck stared wide-eyed. “Wow. That is impressive. You seem like someone who would…” he paused and the words faded away. “I’m going to stop talking.”  
“It’s okay,” Sebastian said. “You should know that most of the relationships I have are pretty much only for a night.”  
“So…we’re off to a good start?” Franck asked.  
Sebastian nodded. “I would say so.”  
Franck smiled. “Good. Good.”  
“You know all about my last relationship,” Sebastian started. “Tell me about yours.”  
Franck gave a defeated laugh, which turned into a groan. “Yikes. I think we went on about three dates and then she told me she wanted to see other people. By which she meant she was already seeing a guy on the track team…”  
“Ouch,” Sebastian frowned. “Sorry.”  
He shook his head. “Funny thing is, I really don’t mind. That stuff doesn’t hurt anymore. Especially when I have…things to look forward to.”  
Sebastian smiled. “I’m…flattered.”  
“Damn right you are,” Franck said. Then he gave a small laugh.  
Sebastian reached forward and touched the cuff of Franck’s jacket sleeve. “Can’t believe you’re wearing a suit.”  
Franck turned his arm so Sebastian’s fingers grazed his wrist. Sebastian extended his fingers along Franck’s skin, tracing vein and arm underneath the fabric. Franck’s own fingers wrapped around Sebastian’s wrist. For a second, he could hear his own heart beating, and feel Franck’s pulse racing in time.  
Elly showed up again and set down a plate of pumpkin pie.  
“You two enjoy,” she said. “This one’s on the house,” she added quietly.  
Sebastian laughed. “God I don’t think I’ve paid for a meal once in this town.”  
“Lucky.” Franck picked up a spoon and took a bite. “This is the best pumpkin pie. Always and forever. Treasure it while it’s free.”  
“I don’t know, I’ve had Gaspard’s pumpkin pie.”  
Franck lowered his voice. “And it’s great…but this is better. Just try it.”  
Sebastian hesitated. “I feel dirty eating someone else’s pie.”  
Franck broke off another piece and held the spoon out to him. “What Gaspard doesn’t know won’t kill him.”  
Sebastian’s lips thinned. “I don’t know…”  
“Do it for me?” Franck tried. When Sebastian’s expression didn’t change he added, “I’ll owe you?”  
“That’s more like it.” He closed his mouth around the spoon. Then he narrowed his eyes. “Hmm.”  
Franck frowned. “You don’t like it?”  
“Hmmm,” was the reply.  
“You do like it?” Franck asked.  
Sebastian took another bite and leaned back, chewing suspiciously. He crossed his arms. “I like it…but I don’t trust it.”  
Franck nodded solemnly. “We don’t have to come back here.”  
Sebastian frowned from his seat for a few seconds before taking another bite. “It’s not right.”  
Franck was trying not to smile. He took the other spoon and stole some. “A real shame.”  
“You don’t understand,” Sebastian said. “This doesn’t happen.”  
Franck touched Sebastian’s hand. “It’s not cheating. It’s just pie.”  
Sebastian nodded. “That makes me feel better.”  
“Besides, I made you do it,” Franck said. “You were just powerless in the presence of my suit.”  
“That’d be it,” Sebastian said. “Did I mention you look very nice?”  
Franck looked at the table. “Thanks.” Then his gaze snapped back up. “You do too. I mean that without any sarcasm.”  
They were staring at each other then, and Sebastian couldn’t seem to find any words worth saying. He was glad there was a table between them, to remind him they were trying to be smart about this.  
“It’s good, right?” Franck asked. “The pie?”  
Sebastian nodded. “But I will deny it up and down if you tell anyone.”  
“Fair enough,” Franck said.  
When they had finished at the diner, they walked back to the apartment building. It was rather cold but Franck didn’t seem bothered by it. He seemed taller somehow, walking with his hands in his pockets, smiling.  
“So, was this how you wanted it to go?” Franck asked.  
Sebastian shrugged. “I’ll be honest, I had no expectations. Other than trying not to rush things.”  
They came upon the apartment building. Franck held the door for him. “So does that mean you’re not going to come to my apartment with me?”  
Sebastian paused for a second before going in. He pressed the button for the elevator. Franck stood beside him, so their arms were touching.  
“It’s kind of in bad taste, after a first date,” Sebastian said.  
“Well lucky for me, you’re not very good at going on dates,” Franck smiled.  
The doors to the elevator opened but they were looking at each other. Franck slipped his hand into Sebastian’s, and then stepped on. He pressed the button for his floor and watched Sebastian, to see if he would do the same. Sebastian stood there, listening to the elevator rattle, and slowly leaned towards Franck, until their shoulders bumped together. Franck let his head lean against Sebastian’s. The closeness sent chills up his spine. He turned his head towards Franck, who did the same. Their noses touched and Sebastian’s free hand went to Franck’s hip. Their lips met and Franck was warm and then the doors rolled open.  
“Oh!” One of Uffie’s roommates, Annie, stood there. “Hey Franck, I was just looking for you.”  
Franck nodded, looking a little dazed. Sebastian’s instinct told him to step away from Franck, to put space between them, but Franck held onto his hand without shame.  
“What’s up?” he asked, and stepped into the hall.  
She pushed the button to get the elevator to stay. “Oh, don’t worry about it. You’re obviously tied up at the moment. But I should let you know that Mike and Louis are having people over to the shop tomorrow. Pedro’s going to close early, according to Uffie.”  
Then she patted Franck’s chin. “You could use a shave.”  
He smiled. “Ah, well great timing. Are you sure you don’t want to come in? Sebastian’s nice, I’m sure he won’t mind.”  
She smirked at Sebastian and stepped onto the elevator. “I think you have enough on your hands for one night. We’ll catch up later.” Then she winked at them before the doors shut.  
Franck laughed to himself as he got his keys out.  
“Have you met them?” he asked. “Mike and Louis?”  
Sebastian shook his head. “No, who are they?”  
The door opened and they stepped inside. “They own a barber shop, next to the convenience store. They’re great guys. Sometimes Pedro trades them books and food for staff haircuts.”  
Franck looked at him a little closer. “You probably don’t need it.”  
Sebastian shrugged. “It could be interesting.”  
“Oh, for sure.” Franck smiled like he was remembering something fondly. “Good times.”  
They were standing in the middle of Franck’s apartment with no apparent direction.  
“Are you…tired?” Franck asked.  
Sebastian shook his head. “Not at all.”  
“Do you…want to watch a movie?” Franck asked.  
“I’ll do whatever you want,” Sebastian told him, which was true.  
Franck made a face like he was trying not to smile. “I’d be happy just…sitting with you. To be honest.”  
Sebastian gripped his hand and led Franck to the couch, where they sat down.  
“You’re pretty easy to please,” Sebastian said.  
Franck smiled, laughing and covering his face again. Sebastian pulled his hand away and kissed his palm, then each of his fingers. Franck reached for his coat and Sebastian let him undo the buttons as he reached for Franck’s suit jacket. Then they wound up trying to slide each other’s jackets off at the same time and Franck laughed and put his head on Sebastian’s shoulder.  
“Sorry.”  
“Don’t be,” he said, leaning his head against Franck’s. He closed his eyes, reaching up to touch Franck’s hair. Frank turned and kissed his neck.  
“Have I mentioned the nerves?” his voice was quiet.  
“You’re doing pretty damn well, considering,” Sebastian told him.  
Franck sat up, smiling. Sebastian reached for his coat again, slowly at first; to make sure Franck wouldn’t move. Then he finally removed his jacket, trying not to smile. Franck shook his head.  
“How do I…be with you?” he asked.  
Sebastian put his jacket on the table. “That’s the good thing about me, Franck. You can do whatever you want.”  
Franck nodded and something in his expression changed. He pushed Seb’s jacket off his shoulders and kissed him. Franck pulled him closer by the waist. Sebastian wrapped his arms around his neck. He expected things to speed up from there, but it was just the opposite. Franck held him like that and kept their faces close. Sometimes he touched his face to Sebastian’s, and sometimes their lips connected, but it didn’t seem to matter to him. It was a different kind of closeness. Sebastian was surprised that he didn’t mind it. In fact, it was nice. There was no expectation, just the feeling of being there with Franck.  
He didn’t know how much time had passed before Franck yawned into his shoulder.  
“Sorry,” he mumbled.  
“Its okay,” Sebastian said. “We can go to bed if you want.”  
Franck nodded. “Yes please.”  
They curled up in Franck’s bed and Sebastian stared out the window for a long time after Franck had fallen asleep. His head was on Seb’s chest again, and one of his arms draped over him. Their legs were tangled under the sheets  
He wanted to want Franck. This was different.

It was painful when Sebastian’s alarm went off. Especially because it was still in his jacket pocket, in the other room. Franck rolled off of him, rubbing his eyes. “Is that a fire alarm?”  
Sebastian jumped out of bed and hurried into the other room, shutting it off. He peered back at Franck from the doorway.  
“I have work,” he said.  
Franck nodded. “I remember…I’ll see you with everyone at Mike and Louis’s, right?”  
Sebastian stared at him, curled on his side, still wrapped up in the sheets. How many times had he spent the night there? And it still amazed him that he wanted to come back. He walked over to Franck and kissed him.  
“Yes, you’ll see me later,” he said. “Go back to bed.”  
Franck smiled and settled back in. Sebastian took his time leaving.  
*  
As he walked to Coffee Cats, he saw he had a missed call from the night before. From an unknown number. And a voicemail.  
He played it, walking slowly.  
“You know…I was an idiot. A real fucking idiot. It was just so stupid.”  
Kavinsky’s slurred voice froze Sebastian on the spot. Part of him thought he should just stop listening and delete the voicemail immediately. But, of course, he kept listening. He was rooted to the ground.  
“I mean, you’re so much better than him. Talk about a…fucking improvement! I don’t even like beards that much!”  
Sebastian could practically taste the alcohol through the phone. He wondered where this rather loud message had been recorded.  
“I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to hurt you. Not like that. Jesus you looked like…” he fell silent for a few seconds. “That was the worst you know? I thought I could do it quietly. A clean break. HAH! That’s a laugh. I can’t do anything right. Nothing, Seb. I fuck everything up and that’s why I had to do it. You know that, don’t you?”  
A few more seconds ticked by of nothing but heavy breathing. “I’m tired of disappointing people. I had to do it sooner rather than later. You know? Before it really mattered.”  
There was a fabric rustle against the earpiece and then Kavinsky sighed. “I…fucking…miss you…” There was weight to those words. The kind of weight that stabbed you in the chest.  
There was a banging noise in the background and someone grunting at him.  
“Sorry,” Kav stage whispered at someone. “I’m done, I’m done.”  
“You smell like piss!” Xavier’s voice carried through loud and clear.  
Kavinsky laughed a little and then the message ended.  
Sebastian must have stood on the street corner with the phone to his ear for a solid minute after that. The silence was deafening.  
Not that he was surprised Kavinsky had drunk called him. It just hadn’t been what he had thought he would hear. He didn’t know how to process it. So he didn’t. He put his phone away and went to work and filed it away in the back of his brain where cobwebs formed over the feeling Kav’s voice used to give him.  
Not anymore though. He had Franck now.  
Definitely not anymore.  
   
21  
woof

“Seb?” Gaspard appeared behind Sebastian who had been standing with his hands buried in a lump of batter. Sebastian didn’t know how long he’d been standing like that. He blinked.  
“Sorry.”  
Gaspard laughed. “No, it’s okay. Did you stay up too late?”  
Sebastian’s brain did a short hula dance of connections. He wants to know why you’ve been staring at your dough for five minutes. Don’t tell him you’re thinking about the message. You were kinda up late with Franck. Maybe you shouldn’t tell him that either. You’re staring again.  
“Jeez,” Gaspard clapped a hand over Sebastian’s shoulder. “You must be wrecked. You and Uffie go out last night or something?”  
Sebastian forced laughter. “I just haven’t woken up yet.”  
“Well…be careful,” Gaspard smiled. “You turned the oven to 500 degrees.”  
“Oh shit, I’m sorry.” Seb turned, expecting to see heaps of burnt bread. Gaspard held up a tray of sliced caramel glazed cider bread.  
“Don’t worry, I haven’t burnt a dish in 3 years. Take one. You need it.”  
Sebastian took a slice sheepishly. But a nibble of the bread, he wound up eating it in 3 bites. “Jesus…”  
Gaspard smiled and nodded. “Yep. I always know when you need food.”  
Sebastian shook his head and tried not to smile. It was true. He tried to focus better after that. He didn’t want to give Kavinsky the satisfaction of dwelling on his stupid drunken message. What he wanted was to see Franck with a clear conscious.  
Pedro closed the shop at 2. He was grinning.  
“Alright everyone, time for a class field trip! Gaspard and Sebastian, box up the display case. So Me’s rounding up the bookstore. Xavier, wipe down the tables. Breakbot, you head over and warn the guys. But first, everyone come and put your hands in.”  
They huddled up like some kind of pastry serving, apron wearing sports team.  
“It’s been a good hustle guys,” he said. “But you’re all hairy as cavemen. Except you, Uffie, you’re perfect.”  
She blew a kiss at him.  
“Now you may have grown attached to your facial hair. But I haven’t. We’re in food service. Keep it in your pants where it can’t get on the tables.”  
“Amen,” Uffie said.  
“One last thing,” Pedro said. He lowered his head. “I don’t know if any of you have been to Daft Records in a while…but my dear friend Thomas has done something. It’s awful. He…he grew a mustache. Guy-Man is very disturbed and it’s up to all of us to gently convince him to get rid of it.”  
“Ooh, easier said than done,” Uffie stood up straight, folding her arms and sending a pointed gaze through the walls towards the record shop. “Should we just drug him?”  
“That might be the most painless way,” Breakbot offered.  
Pedro sighed and pulled Uffie back into the huddle. “We have to stay civil, thank you. Now, Coffee Cats on 3.”  
They all grasped hands and Pedro counted down to 3 and then they all shouted as loud as they could COFFEE CATS!  
A few seconds later, a muffled shout was heard from the bookstore. So Me, Franck and Sonny giving their own war cry.  
Everyone headed over, toting boxes full of pastries. Seb peered into the window of the bookstore as they walked by. They were still closing up. Franck’s gaze was glued to the register, counting bills. Sonny leaned on the counter next to him, talking at a mile a minute, and Franck was smiling through his work. Sebastian took a breath before almost running into Fabien.  
He laughed, wielding a carafe of coffee. “Whoa there, don’t ruin the pastries.”  
Seb shook his head. “Sorry.”  
Gaspard bumped Seb’s shoulder with his own. “Don’t mind him, he’s still waking up.”  
Fabien nodded. “That’s fair. Did Uffie take you out?”  
Uffie wheeled around. “No, I did not. Though I should do that more often. Seb let’s go out tonight.”  
He laughed. “Sure.” But then he thought about her getting him drunk and him talking about the voice mail and his hand reflexively went to his pocket, to touch his phone. He shook his head. He wouldn’t talk about it if he didn’t want to. Sure. That always worked.  
When they got to the end of the street by the convenience store, they made a left down the street. Bromance Salon was the next storefront. It was a pretty small place. There were only four stations and two places to get your hair washed. The back room was sectioned off by a flimsy curtain. Breakbot was talking with a large smiling man who was assessing the state of his locks.  
“I haven’t done much with it,” Breakbot said. “Except when I let Annie curl it.”  
He made a face. “Ooh, don’t let her do that again. You need to wash this.”  
He turned when the crew came in and held out his arms. “Pedro! And the kids! Good to see everyone! Give me a hug.”  
Sebastian assumed he meant just for Pedro, but everyone squeezed in together and the man somehow managed to hug all of them at once. He clapped his hands. “Mike our friends are here!”  
Another man with fantastic hair stepped out from the curtain. He had Guy-Man and Thomas in tow. Everyone in the room seemed to startle at the sight of Thomas’s face. The thing he was trying to grow. Guy-Man’s face looked stuck in a scowl as he came to stand beside Pedro. He crossed his arms.  
“I don’t know how he expects me to touch him ever again.” His voice was barely audible.  
Pedro snorted. “With a razor, would be best.”  
“Alright, who’s first?” Louis asked. When Mike didn’t come any closer, Louis went and threw his arm over his shoulder and walked him closer.  
Everyone seemed to look at each other, like they were at a school dance. Pedro heaved a sigh. “I’ll go.”  
The two guys led him away and got him set up to wash his hair.  
“Anton!” Louis shouted.  
A crazy looking young guy threw back the curtain, grinning, holding an electric razor. “Who needs a shave?”  
“Nope, just a wash,” Louis said, patting him on the head. “You’ll get to one day.”  
Anton sighed, and then laughed and dunked Pedro’s head in water. Pedro spit it at his face.  
Bertrand, and Franck came in then. Bertrand took in the scene of Pedro looking like a poorly made doll with his limbs stretching out from under the sheet they spread over him. Bertrand leaned a little closer to Sebastian. “Pedro loves coming here. If you ever need a haircut, Pedro will always go with you. Unfortunately, he spends all his time with us guys who don’t do anything to their hair. It’s kind of sad.”  
Sebastian smiled. “Sorry, but I’m like you.”  
Mike slid over to Guy-Man and they began talking in hushed tones, eyeing the others, looking suspicious. Suddenly Uffie jumped up and raised her hand.  
“Me next! Me! I want short hair. And dye it! I want the whole she-bang! Mike, do me right.”  
Mike smiled at her knowingly. He invited her to sit in one of the chairs. Mike ran his fingers through her hair.  
“Louis?” he asked.  
Louis ran over and put his arm around Mike’s hip. “Yes.”  
“I’m thinking lighter. Platinum. Cut it here.” He held his hands at Uffie’s neck.  
Louis considered and then moved Mike’s hands up to her chin. “Here. She’ll look great.”  
“Ah, yes,” Mike nodded. “You do know best.”  
Louis laughed. “Porter! We need dye!”  
Another boy appeared with a model-like face that rivaled Sebastian’s. The shop slowly came to life. People were sitting in the chairs in the waiting area, pastries were distributed and soon, Breakbot and Gaspard had filled the other chairs. Xavier stood nervously by as Gaspard had his hair washed.  
“Not too much,” Xav kept saying.  
Gaspard waved him away. “Relax. It’ll be fine.”  
Sebastian was sitting on the counter, pouring coffee for people. Franck sauntered up to him with a smile.  
“You going next?” he asked.  
Sebastian frowned. “I don’t know…”  
“Could be fun,” Franck reached up and touched Sebastian’s hair, pulling on a lock to see how long it would go. Sebastian glanced at the room. Only a few looked at them. None of them seemed to care. Uffie was occupied with many foils in her hair, talking Mike’s ear off, who smiled and nodded like a gentleman.  
“You could stand to lose some,” Franck said. Sebastian looked back at him, realizing how close they were, wanting to kiss him. Franck was grinning and pulling his hair every which way. He leaned on the counter between Seb’s legs and Sebastian looked at his lips. Franck’ smile faded, eyes on him. Then Sebastian felt the shape of his phone in his pocket, and the weight of the message still saved, and he straightened up.  
“Maybe I will,” he wound up saying.  
Franck nodded. He turned his back to Seb, leaning on the counter. Sebastian immediately felt guilty. He rested his chin on Franck’s head, running his hands down Franck’s back. Franck shivered and tried not to smile. Seb tugged on his collar, pulling his shirt over his shoulder.  
“What are you—?”  
“Nothing,” Sebastian shook his head when Franck turned to look at him. Franck made the I’ve got my eyes on you gesture and turned back around. Sebastian immediately pressed his nose to the back of his head. Franck tried not to laugh.  
Pedro finished first, sporting a newly trimmed beard and hair. Bertrand nodded his approval.  
“Looking sharp,” Fabien said and they clapped their hands together.  
“Uffie, you look like an alien,” he said, grinning. He poked at the foils in her hair. Mike gently shooed him away.  
“Don’t touch. Work in progress.”  
Louis faced the room. “Alright, I say new guy goes next.”  
Everyone turned to look as Sebastian made to bite Franck’s ear. His teeth made contact and Franck jumped.  
“Yespleaseyougo.” Franck stumbled through his words, shrugging until his shoulders were at his ears.  
Sebastian tried to hide his smile and stepped over to Louis.  
“What are you thinking?” Louis asked. Then he leaned a little closer. “Other than Franck’s ears.”  
Sebastian shook his head. “I’m not really thinking about anything. You do what you want.”  
“Really?” he asked, grinning.  
Sebastian nodded. Louis placed him in the seat next to Uffie and got Mike over and they both stood behind him, hands on their chins. Then they both got in his face, touching his cheek bones and talking about bone structure. Then they both knelt in front of him and stared without shame at his nose.  
“Damn,” Louis said. “I think you got Kav beat.”  
“Shh,” Uffie snapped at them and gave a shake of her head.  
Mike nodded. “It’s a good nose. We must make it shine. Louis?”  
“You got this,” Louis said and leaned on the counter, folding his arms, watching with a smile. Mike set to work, the only noises coming from his scissors as he trimmed away. Sebastian tried to look at Franck at one point, and Mike gently put his hand on Seb’s head and moved him back to where he needed him. When he was done, Mike glanced at Louis, who took the scissors from him, and snipped a single piece of hair in the back of his head. Mike nodded.  
“Ah, of course.”  
Louis burst out laughing and ruffled Mike’s hair. “Good work. You look sexy, guy.” Louis clapped Seb on the shoulder. Sebastian stood and thanked them, not quite sure what to think of it. It was shorter than he normally allowed his hair to be. He looked at Franck and raised an eyebrow. Franck, who was still hiding in the corner, widened his eyes just a bit and mouthed the word shit.  
Sebastian made an I don’t know what that means glare at him. Franck gave a sheepish thumbs up.  
“Hey we’re out of coffee,” Pedro said, holding the carafe upside down. A single drop landed in his cup. “Who wants to run back and get some more?”  
“I got it,” Sebastian said. He gave Franck another glance, hoping he’d come with, but he’d gotten caught by Louis beckoning towards the chair.  
Pedro smiled. “Thanks!”  
Sebastian left the store with the carafe and Pedro’s keys. He was hurrying down the sidewalk, squinting through the snow that had started to fall. He saw another body rushing towards him but didn’t care to see who it was. Until it stopped and called his name.  
“Seb…astian,” Kavinsky said awkwardly.  
Sebastian stopped and glared up at him.  
“Hey…” he said and wrung his hands.  
Sebastian raised his eyebrows. “Hi…”  
Kav gestured to the sky, his driving gloves dark against the white backdrop. “It’s snowing.”  
“I have eyes, Kav,” he said.  
“I’m sorry,” Kavinsky said, shaking his head. “Listen you didn’t get a voicemail from me, did you? I kinda got smashed the other night…and I don’t remember a lot…”  
Sebastian’s eyes began to focus on the stubble around Kav’s jaw, and the tint in his eyes. Still smashed was more like it.  
“Oh that?” Sebastian said. “I had a missed call, but I ignored it. I don’t check messages from numbers I don’t recognize.”  
“OH,” Kav said. Then he nodded a couple times. “Yeah, makes sense.” He was holding himself against the cold.  
“I’m kind of in the middle of something,” Sebastian said.  
Kav nodded again. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. I just…uhm…you know if you want to, like, talk sometime…about stuff. The stuff that happened. You know, if you have any…questions I guess? I just don’t want you to be, like, afraid to run into me. I don’t want things to be awkward.”  
“I’m over it,” Sebastian lied.  
Kavinsky blinked. “Right. Okay. Yeah, you know, also I guess I just wanted to say that I’m sorry? I don’t know…if I said that…I’m very very sorry. And even if you are over it, you know, we could still talk…or something…”  
Sebastian couldn’t stand to see him stammer on any more. “I’m with Franck.”  
“What?” Kavinsky said.  
“Franck and I are together,” Sebastian repeated. “You can do whatever you want. But I don’t think we need to talk. Unless you have something you want to say to me, in which case, you can say it now.”  
Kavinsky swallowed and gave an empty gesture. “I just wanted to know if we could still be friends?”  
Sebastian shrugged. “Sure.”  
“Good.” Kav nodded. “Good.”  
“I’m gonna go now,” Sebastian said. And then he walked past Kavinsky, feeling a sickness rising in his gut. It was painful to see him reduced to such a stuttering mess. Anger poured into him, but also satisfaction. Seb was glad Kav had asked to talk, and relished the look of surprise on his face when he’d mentioned Franck. He was glad he was a mess over him.  
When Seb got into Coffee Cats, he sat on the couch for a minute, trying to collect his thoughts. He was with Franck because Franck was great. Not to spite anyone. He repeated that phrase in his head a couple times before refilling the carafe. He tried to block Kavinsky from his mind. But then he told himself that he shouldn’t expend any effort at all regarding Kavinsky. He was worthless to him and didn’t deserve Sebastian’s energy.  
He didn’t deserve Sebastian.  
Or his pity.  
God, he looked terrible.  
Sebastian shook his head and shuffled out the door, checking both ways for signs of life, and then returned to Bromance. He gave the carafe to Pedro and then took his place back on the counter and waited for Franck, who was insisting he didn’t want that much taken off.  
Guy-Man was pleading with Thomas a couple feet over, away from everyone else. “Look at everyone getting their hair cut. Don’t you want to get your hair cut?”  
Thomas shrugged. “Meh. I don’t know…”  
Guy huffed. “I think it would be fun if you joined in.”  
Thomas actually rubbed his hideous mustache in thought. Guy snatched his hand away.  
“Don’t touch it,” he breathed. “It’s not safe.”  
“So that’s what this is about,” Thomas said, aghast. “You just want me to shave my mustache.”  
They stared each other down. Guy narrowed his eyes. Then he leaned just a little closer and told Thomas something Sebastian was 92% sure no one else was supposed to hear.  
“I’ll shave it myself, you bastard.”  
Thomas then grinned. The kind of grin that is only possible when one has been anticipating another’s defeat for days, maybe even weeks. Guy looked like he wanted to murder Thomas.  
“You did this on purpose didn’t you?”  
“You said you’d do it,” Thomas said. “No going back now.” Then he raised his voice. “Sorry everyone, but we have to go! We’ll see you later.”  
He grabbed Guy’s arm, smiling ear to ear, and dragged him out of the shop. Sebastian cracked up laughing, covering his mouth. Franck approached him, tilting his head.  
“I hope you’re not laughing at my dramatic haircut.”  
“You look exactly the same,” Seb said, which was true.  
“Well you don’t,” Franck said. “It’s good on the short side. You have…good angles…short hair works with angles…”  
Sebastian took Franck’s hand and pulled him closer and kissed his lips. He much preferred this feeling to brooding over someone he’d already lost. Franck twined their fingers together, smiling through the kiss.  
“Xav, you need a shave,” Pedro was shouting.  
They pulled apart, to watch Xavier defensively touch his chin. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  
“WHO SAID SHAVE!?” Anton grabbed his razor again.  
“Him!” Pedro pointed at Xavier. “Shave it!”  
Anton grinned. “I’M ON IT!”  
They wrangled Xavier into a chair and Anton very expertly removed any traces of facial hair. Porter got a high five from him and they both shouted,  
“SHAVE IT UP!”  
Everyone was laughing. Franck leaned into Sebastian and Seb kissed his temple and then Franck quickly pressed their lips together once more. He was grinning.  
Uffie wolf whistled at them. Then she mouthed git it. They didn’t separate for the rest of the day. There was no need.  
 

22

Sebastian went back to Franck’s apartment when everyone was done at Bromance. After Uffie had essentially given them her blessing, Sebastian felt no reason to hide. It was nice. Pedro had actually smiled at them as they left hand in hand.  
“Are you hungry?” Franck asked as they stepped inside the apartment. “You should eat something.”  
Seb followed Franck into his room where he put his coat on the bed.  
Sebastian smiled and leaned his face against Franck’s back. “Yeah okay.”  
He wrapped his arms around Franck’s waist. Franck stopped moving. He covered Seb’s hands with his own. Then he let out his breath, slowly, eyes sliding shut.  
“I’m…glad you’re here,” he said.  
Sebastian found the edge of Franck’s sweater and slid his hands over his chest, tightening his grip.  
“I am too,” Sebastian mumbled into his neck.  
Franck shivered. “Food?”  
“Whatever you want,” Sebastian rested his chin on Franck’s shoulder.  
“Have you eaten today?” Franck asked. His voice was low.  
“Does coffee count?” Seb kissed his neck.  
Franck laughed. “No…”  
“Cigarettes too,” Sebastian said.  
Franck took a deep breath. “I can’t let you starve, now can I?” He pulled Seb’s hands off him and kissed his palm. “I’ll make something quick.”  
Then he stepped away, towards the kitchen. Sebastian took his coat off, laying it beside Franck’s; wondering how this day would end. Goose bumps raced up his arms. He touched the sleeve of Franck’s puffy coat. He glanced around the room. There were prints on the wall and movie posters. Photographs and Christmas lights tangled in the backboard. The closet door had a vaguely art deco style poster for Akira. The door was cracked. Sebastian wouldn’t have thought anything of it, but he thought he saw something.  
He pushed the door open wider and there, propped against the wall, was massive keyboard.  
“Uh, Franck,” he called.  
“Yeah,” Franck answered from the kitchen.  
“There’s a keyboard in your closet,” Sebastian pointed at it even thought Franck couldn’t see.  
“That old thing?” It was all he seemed to want to say on the matter.  
Sebastian padded into the kitchen. “Franck.”  
Franck looked at him, smiling. “Yeah?”  
“There’s a keyboard in your closet,” Sebastian repeated.  
Franck laughed. “So there is.”  
“So are you going to fucking play me something?”  
Franck rested his arms on the counter. “Well I don’t know. I don’t really play much these days.”  
Sebastian tugged on his sleeve. “You get the keyboard out of your closet. I’ll make dinner.”  
“Are you sure?” Franck asked.  
Sebastian nodded. He took up Franck’s post and began slicing eggplant and listened as Franck wrestled with the keyboard.  
“You better be making something good,” Franck called. “This asshole keyboard is stuck behind something.”  
Seb threw some pasta into boiling water. “I can’t hear you over the deafening lack of keyboard.”  
“Can you hear this?” he called back. “I’m giving you the finger.”  
Sebastian smiled and returned the favor. “We’re harmonizing.”  
There was a loud crashing and Sebastian peeked into Franck’s room. A box had fallen from its perch and spilled CDs over the carpet, but the keyboard was free, Franck leaning on it for support. He cleared his throat.  
“I hate this thing.”  
Sebastian smiled. “How about it?”  
Franck carried it into the kitchen and sat on the floor out of Sebastian’s way. He played a few hesitant notes and then eased into a song. It was wandering and minimal and lovely.  
“Is there anything you’re not good at?” Sebastian asked, glancing down at him.  
Franck smiled, keeping his eyes on the keys. “People. You.”  
“You’re fine with me. If you weren’t, I wouldn’t be here.”  
When everything was done, he sat on the other side of the piano. He got a cigarette, blowing the smoke away from him. They sat like that for a few minutes until Franck brought the wandering song to a close and looked up and then looked down again.  
“Haven’t played in a while.”  
“It was nice,” Sebastian said. “Why did you stop playing?”  
He shrugged. “I felt like shit trying to write new music. Being a writer is annoying enough. People always expect a lot of you when you say you’re a musician. I got tired of it.”  
“That’s fair.”  
Franck smiled. “Just don’t ask me to write you a song and we’ll be fine.”  
Sebastian nodded. “Deal. But, you know, if you feel inspired, I won’t object.”  
Franck laughed. They ate dinner on the floor and Sebastian tried to play something for Franck but it took a dark turn and he stopped. Franck trailed his hand across Seb’s back, writing words on his sweater.  
“How are you still cold?”  
Sebastian turned to him and peeled the sweater off. “I’m not.”  
Franck touched his face and traced a few letters onto his cheek. Then he leaned in but Sebastian took his hand. “Not here.”  
Sebastian stood and helped Franck and they went into the other room. Sebastian hated that it bothered him. Being in kitchens just reminded him of Kavinsky. That was the last thing he wanted to be thinking about.  
But Frank was smarter than he thought.  
“You okay?” he asked. “Were you traumatized by a kitchen as a child?”  
Sebastian smiled. Franck sat on the edge of his bed and Sebastian put his arms around Franck’s neck.  
“Not exactly. I guess the opposite.”  
“Ah,” Franck ran his hand through Seb’s hair. “If…you want to talk about anything…”  
Seb shook his head. “I’d like to forget, actually. And I know you can help me with that.”  
Franck gave a small smile and pulled him closer. 

The next day at work he was working out the menu with Gaspard when Uffie came bursting into the kitchen.  
She pointed at Sebastian and then just pointed to the doors. Sebastian looked at Gaspard, worry in his eyes, before following her out.  
The boys of Joel’s fucking pizza place stood behind the counter.  
“I’ve told them 3 times,” Uffie said. “But they won’t take no for an awesome.”  
Dillon reached across the counter, grabbing at Sebastian’s apron and practically crawling onto the counter.  
“Dude, guy, man, dude! I need the fuck you whore.”  
“It’s not on the menu!” Uffie snapped.  
“No, but I need it,” Dillon wailed. “It was everything I wanted and I’ll die if I can’t have it again.”  
“It was…kind of a one shot,” Sebastian said, trying to pull out of Dillon’s grip.  
“I need a fuck you whore!” Dillon yelled. “FUCK YOU WHORE!”  
Jake and Sonny joined in, each grabbing one of Seb’s arms and pulling him into the counter. “Come on, man, make the fuck you whore.”  
“Fuck you whore was so tasty! Dude come on!”  
Uffie smacked them all with a spatula until they let him go. “Shoo you vultures!”  
“Ufffie!” they all wailed together.  
Sebastian started to smile. “You want it that bad?”  
“Yes!” Dillon threw his hands up in the air. “I’m salivating over here!”  
“It’s fucking gross,” Jake said.  
“Well…it’ll take a little while,” Sebastian told them.  
Dillon’s face lit up. He ran over and shook Sebastian’s hand. “Bless you, I owe you big time. If you ever want a free pizza, you talk to me. Got it?”  
Sebastian laughed and tried to pull away. It took Uffie to get him off.  
“Go sit!” she shrieked. “You don’t have to make it Seb.”  
He shook his head. “I don’t mind.”  
She gave him a small grin. “They’re little shits, but I kinda like them.”  
Sebastian turned to go back into the kitchen and Uffie slapped his ass. “Get em!”  
Sebastian brought out their pastries on plates. The boys were cheering for him.  
“FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!”  
When he set the plates down they all threw their hands up in the air. “WHOOOOORE!”  
Dillon cut into his piece and took a bite and then sank down in his seat. “Aw yeah. I’m physically attracted to this dessert.”  
“Cool it, he’s taken!” Uffie yelled from behind the counter.  
Sonny and Jake tore into theirs, but Dillon got on the floor on one knee and clasped his hands together. “Sebastian man, you gotta marry me and make this dessert for me every day! You gotta!”  
“Sorry,” Sebastian said. “But I need a little more wooing than that.”  
The boys comforted Dillon and he ate the rest of his Fuck You Whore with a smile. 

That Friday, Franck came into Coffee Cats to do work. Uffie doted on him, feeding him a constant supply of hot chocolate and rice krispies, petting him like a cat. Xavier glared at him.  
“Are you gonna buy something?” he asked.  
Franck frowned. “I would pay but she won’t let me…”  
“Don’t pick on him!” Uffie said. “He’s waiting on Sebastian.”  
Xavier rolled his eyes. Then everyone froze up as Kavinsky walked by the store front. Sebastian had been refilling the display case. It suddenly became the most important task of his life.  
The bells on the door jingled. Kav wiped his shoes very deliberately on the mat.  
Uffie aggressively wiped down the counter, glaring.  
“Hey…” he said. “Uh…where’s Breakbot?”  
“BREAKBOT!” Xavier shouted.  
He emerged from the back office. “Hey, Kav. I have precisely ten minutes left.”  
Kav nodded. “Okay. Can I, uh…get some coffee?”  
Uffie slammed a mug down onto the counter. Then she purposefully took the fresh, scalding hot carafe and poured it up to the very tip top of the mug. A single drop slid down the side.  
“Three ninety five,” she said, holding out her hand.  
“Oh…yeah…” he rifled around in his pocket for cash.  
“Do you want a Fuck You Whore? Sebastian made them, they’re excellent.” Her voice was dead frightening. She stared unblinking at him. He stared back, not quite sure how to react.  
“Uh…y-yeah…”  
Sebastian sighed and got a pastry for him. He set it on the counter and bumped Uffie out of the way with his hip.  
“It’s five dollars,” he said. “Sorry about her.”  
He smiled. “It’s okay. I get it. The lioness is looking out for her cubs.” He laughed a little. “I deserve it.”  
“Yeah you do,” Sebastian said. “But it’s okay. This shop is more yours than mine, anyway.”  
Kavinsky handed him a five. “Well you wear it better.”  
Sebastian made change and gave it back. “Damn right.”  
Kav walked away with his things and sat in the opposite corner as Franck. He was smiling. He didn’t look like shit, but he clearly wasn’t back to himself quite yet. Sebastian walked around the counter and sat next to Franck and let out his breath, leaning his head on Franck’s shoulder.  
“You did good,” Franck said, putting an arm around him. “But you can you tell Uffie that if I drink anymore hot chocolate, I’ll explode.”  
Seb nodded. “Yes.”  
“You okay?” he asked quietly.  
He nodded again. “Think so.”  
“Are you going to be able to keep working?” Franck was laughing.  
“You’re just trying to get rid of me,” Sebastian turned his face into Franck’s shoulder. Franck spoke into Sebastian’s hair.  
“Yep. Get to work or Pedro will be mad.”  
“Mmm,” Sebastian settled in his chair.  
“I don’t want to be responsible for you getting fired.”  
“Mmmmm,” Sebastian slipped his arm under Franck’s jacket.  
“Seb! Quite slacking off!” Xavier yelled at him. He smiled and returned to the kitchen, but Xavier grabbed his arm.  
“Is it okay that he was here?”  
“Yeah,” Sebastian told him. He wanted it to be okay.  
Xavier nodded. “Alright. Then you won’t be mad that tonight is movie night and he’s still invited.”  
“Of course not,” Sebastian said.  
Xavier looked at him long and hard, narrowing his eyes, searching for a sign of weakness. Then he let him go. “Alright, see you tonight.”  
Uffie hooked him next, sliding her arm through his. “You don’t have to go tonight. If you want to go get drunk instead, we can do that.”  
He smiled. “I don’t mind, really. Franck likes movies too.”  
She nodded a couple times. “Well if you want to get drunk after, I’m your girl.”  
“You’re always my girl,” he said and pulled away.  
She laughed.  
   
23  
Movie night this time around was actually in the movie theater. They were showing a Hitchcock film. Kavinsky and Ellie were at the door, taking money. Franck and Sebastian stood inside Coffee Cats, staring across the street.  
“You sure about this?” Franck asked.  
“Yes,” Sebastian told him.  
“Because we don’t have to go,” Franck added.  
Sebastian glared at him. He took Franck’s hand and pushed open the door. He marched across the street, narrowly avoiding a blue car as it streaked by, and then stood right in front of Kavinsky, Franck stumbling after him.  
“I would like 2 tickets, one for me and one for him, because we want to watch this movie and sit next to each other, and maybe make out just a little bit during the quiet parts, I hope that’s okay.”  
Kavinsky blinked. Ellie tried to hide her smile. “Good on you.”  
Kav shook it off and held out two tickets. “Uh…6 dollars.”  
Sebastian shelled out the money. “Thanks.”  
“No, thank you,” Kav said, finally smiling. “For the most interesting introduction all night.”  
Sebastian relaxed. “What else am I here for?”  
“Well presumably for the movie,” Kavinsky said. “And your boyfriend.”  
Seb turned to Franck who was barely keeping his laughter in. But he grinned at that and tentatively put his hand on Seb’s back.  
“Enjoy the show,” Kavinsky put on a stuffy voice and gave them a sweeping bow, but he grinned up at them. Seb and Franck entered the theater and got in line for concessions.  
“Not so bad right?” Sebastian asked Franck.  
Franck laughed and pressed his lips to Seb’s temple. “Excellent.”  
Sebastian glanced back at the two of them. Ellie was frowning at Kavinsky and rubbing his back as he put on a forced smile. Seb didn’t know what that was about. But he couldn’t help feel a tinge of pride at the scene. It was Kav’s turn to be sad. Franck squeezed his hand and they bought drinks and headed into the theater.  
Sebastian didn’t watch the movie. He watched the back of Kavinsky’s head.  
Was he mourning the relationship? He was the one who broke it off, he wasn’t allowed to mourn.  
Did that mean he missed Sebastian? Then why the hell did they break up?  
But they did break up. And he was with Franck now. So those questions shouldn’t matter.  
Except they did, of course they did. Sebastian felt anger rising, at both Kavinsky and at himself. He just wanted it to end, but it didn’t look like that was happening anytime soon.  
After a period of staring at Kav’s stupid weirdly feathered hair, memories began to surface, of touching that stupid hair and kissing the stupid curves of his face. Like that spot under his eye, and Seb would have to tilt his head so he didn’t poke Kav’s eye with his nose and—Kav was staring at him. It took Sebastian a second to realize that Kav had turned around and they had locked eyes. Seb shook himself out of the memory. Even in the dark of the theater, Sebastian could read Kavinsky’s face. He was thinking about it too. A chill ran up Seb’s spine, so he forced himself to look at Franck. He was clearly focused on the movie. Sebastian nudged Franck with his shoulder. Franck smiled and laced their fingers together. Sebastian pulled him by the hand until he was close enough to kiss his jaw. Franck laughed quietly and then straightened up, wrapped Sebastian’s hand up in both of his.  
Sebastian made himself watch the rest of the movie. When it ended, Gaspard waved them over in the lobby.  
“Do you guys want to head back to shop? Or do you have plans?”  
Uffie came bounding up behind them and leapt onto Sebastian’s back. “Let’s get toasty!”  
Xavier crossed his arms. “I don’t have money for booze.”  
“Surely you have something laying around?” she asked. Her arms were wrapped tightly around Sebastian’s shoulders.  
“Nah, we’re fresh out,” Gaspard said.  
“What about you,” Sebastian looked up at Uffie. “You’re the wino. You must have something.”  
She gave a thumbs down. “Sorry, the ladies and I emptied our stock last weekend. You got anything Franck?”  
He shook his head. “Sorry.”  
She pinched his cheek. “Of course not, you’re too good for that.”  
“What are you guys doing?” Fabien and Breakbot walked up.  
“We need booze,” Uffie said.  
“Oh, well we were going to get drunk with Kav. You want to come?”  
Uffie smushed Sebastian’s cheeks. “That’s up to you.”  
He glanced at Franck who smiled. “Whatever you want.”  
“Yeah sure, let’s do it.”  
Uffie let out a loud, “WOOP!”  
Kavinsky walked out of the theater with Ellie. Uffie waved him over. His eyes went wide.  
“Don’t hurt me,” he said, raising his hands up.  
She swatted at him. “Shut up. I’m over it. Get your booze and come to the shop.”  
Kav glanced at Sebastian before leveling his gaze at Uffie. “Yeah…sure. Sounds good.” He grinned. “I might not have enough for everyone.”  
“That’s okay,” she tapped his nose. “We’ll make a run to Dada Land. Sebastian, carry me there!”  
Sebastian laughed and looked at Franck. “Meet you there.”  
“Yeah,” Franck waved as he carried Uffie out of the theater.  
Uffie rested her chin on his shoulder. “You okay, hun?”  
“Yes,” he said.  
“You sure?” she sang into his ear.  
“Everything will be fine. I want to be okay with him.”  
“Wanting doesn’t mean being,” she said. She put her cheek against his. “Have you talked to him?”  
“Not really,” he said.  
“Are you going to?”  
“About what?” he asked.  
“About what happened,” she pulled his hair. “He broke your heart, you don’t just walk away from that shit.”  
“He did not break my heart, we were barely together.”  
“And are you and Franck barely together?”  
“It’s different with Franck,” Sebastian said.  
“Do you hear yourself?” she said and tugged on his ear. “Be reasonable. You have unfinished business, it’s fine. Don’t let it ruin you.”  
“Are you done, Professor Uffie?”  
“Yes.”  
They stepped into Dada Land and Uffie shelled out way too much money for way too much alcohol. Stefan and Olle demanded a fist bump from Sebastian. When they got back to Coffee Cats, Uffie got mugs for everyone.  
“Are we really drinking booze out of mugs?” Xavier asked.  
Uffie put her hands on her hips. “OH Do you have too much class for us Xavier? Your highness!” She gave a sweeping bow and then took a drink from the bottle and handed it to Gaspard.  
Kavinsky and Fabien were hunched over an IPod, trying to figure out what to play.  
“Put something good on,” Gaspard called.  
“Oh thanks!” Fabien said. “That makes it so much easier.”  
“Come on, something dancey,” Kav said.  
“No, no, we want crazy,” Fabien said.  
“Nah, something mellow,” Gaspard said.  
“Xavi, what’s it going to be?” Uffie asked. “Tie breaker.”  
“Give us a good beat,” he said and stole the bottle of booze.  
Kavinsky grabbed the IPod and put on the Beastie Boys. Fabien laughed. “Yeah okay. Take a drink every time it sounds like the 90’s.”  
“We’ll die of alcohol poisoning,” Franck said.  
“Beastie Boys are fucking timeless,” Kav shouted. He hopped onto the back of the couch, his legs between Uffie and Breakbot.  
“Someone get a board game!” Uffie shouted.  
That was when Oizo appeared with Jenga in his arms. It was just in a plastic bag, the box clearly gone missing ages ago.  
“I found this in the back, wedged behind the dishwasher.”  
Uffie jumped up and took the bag from him. “It’s a sign! We have to play!” she dumped the tiles on the coffee table and demanded everyone gather around. The tiles had questions or demands scrawled across them. She wouldn’t let anyone read them before she had stacked the tower.  
“RULES. You either do as the jenga block instructs, or chug your drink. No exceptions or I’ll kick your ass.”  
She sat down and made Xavier pull the first block. “Admit to one lie you’ve told…Do I have to?” he leveled his gaze at Uffie. She stared him down. He let out a sigh. “My parents didn’t make me go to Catholic school.”  
“Wait, what?” Uffie slid forward on the chair.  
Kavinsky snickered.  
“You knew!” she shouted.  
“What do you think I’ve been lording over him for the last decade?”  
Xavier sighed heavily. Gaspard was looking at him.  
“So let me get this straight,” Uffie said. “You actually wanted to go to catholic school? YOU! Xavier ‘I hate everyone’ De ‘fuck rules’ Rosnay ASKED for a uniform and to be slapped by nuns?”  
“You got slapped by nuns?” Sebastian asked.  
“Just one,” Xavier said. “She didn’t stay at that school for long.”  
“I’m shocked,” Uffie said. “Why on earth did you ask to go?”  
He shrugged. “I hated the kids at the public school.”  
“You hated the kids there too,” Fabien added. “You’ve said.”  
Xavier shrugged. “At least I knew two of them. Even if they were insane.” He cut a look to Kavinsky who laughed.  
Gaspard was giving him a funny look. He poured himself a large drink and began not so much nursing it as performing life saving surgery on it. And then another.  
“Slow down,” Breakbot said quietly to him.  
He laughed quietly. The circle moved in the other direction, which meant it was Franck’s turn. He carefully removed a block and laughed. “Do a cartwheel? Who wrote these.” He stack the block and looked around the shop. “I don’t think there’s enough room.”  
“Go outside,” Uffie said. “Or finish your drink.”  
“It’s so cold…” he said. Then he stared down at his full glass. “Sebastian might have to carry me home.”  
He picked up his drink and dutifully started chugging. Uffie sighed.  
“Damnit Franck, I wanted to see you do a cartwheel.”  
“Yeah, come on! Let’s see those gangly limbs in action,” Kavinsky urged.  
He set the glass down about halfway through. He took a breath. “Really?”  
“Do it!” Uffie shouted.  
He put his hand on Sebastian’s shoulder. “Forgive me.” He hoisted himself off the ground.  
Sebastian smiled. “Just don’t hurt yourself.”  
They all went to the window and Franck stepped outside, pulling his stripped sweater securely over his hips. He jumped up and down once and then went for it, planting his hands on the ground, his legs whirling around. Sebastian opened the door as Franck awkwardly got back to his feet. He held his hands up.  
“TADA!” Sebastian grabbed him as he started to fall.  
He laughed. “Woah, head rush.” He leaned his head on Sebastian’s shoulder.  
“Come on,” Seb looped his arm around Franck’s waist.  
Franck nuzzled his face against Sebastian’s. “You’re warm.” He kissed his neck. Sebastian couldn’t help but smile. He turned into Franck and met his kiss and the cold didn’t matter because Franck’s arms were around him. It felt a little like going over the drop of a roller coaster.  
Sebastian heard a noise and turned to look at the window, where everyone had pressed themselves against the glass to stare. Franck laughed at them.  
“Get a life!”  
Sebastian gave them the finger. His eyes scanned the crowd, but Kav wasn’t there. He’d retreated into the shop. They went back inside and Fabien wolf whistled. Uffie slapped Franck on the ass.  
“Back to games!”  
They gathered back around the Jenga tower. Sebastian’s Jenga block instructed him to admit something he was afraid of.  
“I don’t know…”  
“Drink!” Uffie shouted.  
With a sigh he picked up his drink and Breakbot reached for a block. The tower wobbled and everyone held their breath, but he removed the block with no trouble.  
“Have you ever broken the law?” he read off the block. He thought for a minute. “Well I don’t know if I broke the law…but I did cause a traffic accident.”  
Everyone’s mouths opened.  
“What?” Xavier leaned forward. “How?”  
Breakbot looked into the distance. “I wasn’t doing anything. But there was a car with two girls in it. And apparently they thought they recognized me. They were staring at me and just kind of drove into another car. No one was hurt, but it was startling.”  
“They probably thought you were too cute,” Uffie said.  
He nodded. “I still feel bad.”  
Kavinsky laughed. “You’re just too attractive for your own good.” He reached for a block and read the question. “What’s your biggest regret?” his smile faded as he stared at the block. The room grew a little too quiet.  
Xavier took his jacket off. “Buying that god damn car.”  
“The testa is my greatest accomplishment,” Kav pointed the block at him. “Nah, it was probably getting arrested that one time.”  
“You were actually arrested?” Sebastian asked.  
“Yeah,” Kav nodded. “It wasn’t the arresting that bothered me, but Pedro springing me out. Of course, I wasn’t there long. It was all a misunderstanding.”  
Sebastian cracked a smile. “You really are insane.”  
Kav started to smile back.  
Fabien grabbed a block. “It says to kiss the prettiest girl in the room.” He grinned at Uffie.  
“It does not say that, you rat,” she said, frowning to conceal a smile.  
Fabien lifted the block up high. “Kiss me and you’ll find out.”  
“So that’s how you’re going to play it?”  
He was beaming at her. She grabbed his face and threw her whole body at him, catching him completely by surprise. He reeled back and hit the floor and she fell onto him, crushing their mouths together. Gaspard put his hands around his mouth and woo’ed loudly. Kav laughed.  
“What is this, PDA night?”  
Uffie pulled back and sat up straight, brushing her shirt off. “Suck on that.”  
Fabien remained on the floor, looking star struck.  
“How you doing?” Sebastian looked down at him.  
He gave a thumbs up.  
Uffie pulled the next block. “What was the happiest day of your life?” her hands fell into her lap. “That’s a hard question.”  
Everyone slowly began to think about it, staring off at nothing. Xavier reached for Gaspard’s hand. Breakbot leaned back on his hands. Fabien was still on the floor, but his gaze went to Uffie’s back. Sebastian’s gaze automatically went to Kavinsky. He was looking back. Sebastian stared at his shoes.  
Franck started to laugh. “Everyone’s all serious.”  
Sebastian looked up at him. He had a goofy grin.  
“Why should we bother trying to make one moment out to be better than another? It’s only going to make you feel guilty and spoil the memory. Let’s just be happy now.”  
Uffie smiled and raised her glass. “Here here! I propose a toast. To good friends and good drinks.”  
Everyone followed suit and clinked their glasses together.  
“NOW CHUG!” She shouted and everyone out of sheer shock began to finish off their drinks. Sebastian felt it rushing through him, weighing down his arms and muddling his brain. Franck leaned into him, and wrapped his arms around Seb’s neck.  
“I’m heavy,” Franck said. “And I just have all these limbs.”  
Sebastian laughed. “That you do.”  
“I mean, how do you deal? Look at my arms!” He held them out for Seb to see.  
Sebastian took his hands. “There is nothing wrong with you.”  
“Franck, you’re drunk,” Uffie pointed at him. “You’re adorable!”  
“I’m not drunk,” he said. “Maybe a little.”  
Uffie laughed at him.  
“So what if we wants to get drunk?” Gaspard said loudly. “So what…if he wants to get drunk. I mean, so what? So what if he’s drunk?”  
Fabien covered his mouth. “Oh shit, Gaspard’s gone. How much did you have man?”  
Gaspard shrugged and held up his hand, which was clinging to a nearly empty vodka bottle. “I’ve been…thirsty.”  
Fabien was dying of laughter. Uffie gaped. “You had so much! No one noticed.”  
He tipped the bottle at her. “I’m qu…quiet. Don’t worry. It wasn’t entirely full.”  
Xavier patted his back. “You going to be okay?”  
Gaspard nodded. “You’ll take care of me. Because that’s what you do. You take care of me. For my whole life. You take care of me. Of…of me,” he said, pointing at himself. “I don’t deserve you.”  
He went to drink some more, but Xavier pulled the bottle out of his hand and finished it off. “Maybe I should get you home.”  
“Maybe…I’ll get you home,” Gaspard said and then laughed at his joke.  
“Do you want to go home?” Xavier asked.  
He shook his head looking terrified. “No. No. Nonono, I’m having the time of my life. You should drink more.”  
The corner of Xavier’s mouth curved up. “Whatever you want.”  
“Kav I want to dance,” Uffie exclaimed and looked at him.  
He smiled and scrambled to his feet. Then he offered his hand. “My lady. May I have this dance?”  
She grinned and took his hand. “Why yes sir, you may.”  
They got into tango position and began strutting around the room.  
“Do you want to dance?” Franck asked Sebastian.  
Sebastian shook his head. “Nah, I’m good.”  
“Are you sure?” Franck asked. “Sometimes I’m afraid I’m not fun enough for you.”  
Sebastian’s face fell. “You’re really worried about that?”  
Franck opened his mouth and then shut it again. He nodded. Sebastian stared into his eyes. He touched Franck’s face. There was a ten car pile up in his brain. His thoughts were tangled.  
“You don’t have to…I like you…without anyone else. Don’t think…just, don’t think.”  
Franck kissed him, but he put all of his weight into it and they kept sinking until Franck had him pinned. He pulled back to look at him.  
“I just like you so much,” he said. Then he put his head on Sebastian’s chest and closed his eyes. Sebastian just laid on the ground. Breakbot leaned over him.  
“You good?”  
“I’m good,” he answered. “You?”  
Breakbot nodded. “My friends are happy.”  
“Look!” Uffie shouted. She was standing on Kav’s feet with her arms around his stomach. He was walking around, unimpeded by her weight. “We’re like monkeys!”  
Xavier snorted. “Or something.”  
Uffie leaned her ear against Kav. “I can hear your stomach rumbling.”  
“I’ll get something,” Gaspard said. He made to stand up, but somehow just wound up sinking onto the floor.  
“Maybe not,” Xavier said, laughing at him.  
“You work in a kitchen,” Franck said, sitting up. “Maybe you can get us food.”  
Sebastian nodded. “Good point. But there’s a Franck in my way.”  
Franck gave him the dopiest smile. “I see what you did there.” He rolled off of Sebastian and began to army crawl over to Fabien, saying, “Look, we’re both on the floor!”  
Sebastian stood up and found his way into the kitchen. He racked his brain to try and figure out what they could eat. He set the oven on and pulled bread out of the freezer. As he unwrapped it, the doors opened. Uffie and Kav came into the room, stick attached.  
“Whatcha baking baby?” Uffie asked.  
“Some bread,” Sebastian answered.  
“Can I just say…I’m glad you two are friends again,” she went on, patting Seb’s arm.  
“Me too,” Kavinsky said. “For the record. But, Uff, my feet are going numb.”  
She hopped off him. “Sorry!” then she wrapped her arms around Seb’s stomach and let her weight fall into him.  
“How about that kiss?” Sebastian asked, nudging her.  
She buried her face in his neck. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  
Kav poked her arm. “Uffie and Fab, sitting in a tree.”  
Seb joined in. “K-I-S-S-I-N-G.”  
“Was it good?” Kav asked, leaning on the counter.  
She stuck her tongue out at him.  
“Oh it was great, then?”  
She groaned and put her head back on Sebastian. “Maybe…”  
“Then what are you doing out here? He’s out there, perfectly available for tonsil hockey.”  
“I can’t date someone I work with,” she said. “It’d be too much.”  
“Oh shut up,” Sebastian said. “You like him, so go get him.”  
She straightened up. “Are you sassing me? Did you just sass me?”  
He turned around and pointed at the door. “You deserve to be happy with someone. Go be happy.”  
She pawed at her own face. “That’s so sweet. Aw…okay…I’m going to do it!”  
She skipped out of the room. Kavinsky smiled at the door.  
“I’m happy for them,” Kav said.  
“Yeah,” Seb said. He put a tray into the oven. “She really does deserve it.”  
“Yeah…” Sebastian turned and leaned against the door to the oven. They stood in silence for a minute.  
Kav cleared his throat. “Listen…about what I said. My biggest regret.”  
Sebastian’s body tensed. He didn’t like where this was going.  
“I just…I didn’t want to say in front of everyone. But the first thing that came to mind was…losing you.”  
“You…you can’t just say that,” Sebastian started. “You were the one who—”  
“I know,” Kav said. He put his hands in his pockets. “I had to end it before it got serious. I knew I would just end up disappointing you. It was better to pull the band aid off fast…before…I might have…”  
His mouth worked like he was going to keep talking. Then he scratched the back of his head. “I’m saying too much.”  
Sebastian stared at him. “So you…didn’t want to break up? But you did anyway?”  
“I’m not cut out for relationships,” Kav said. He looked back at Sebastian. “You deserve better. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing with my life. You should be with someone who makes sense. Who’s good to you.”  
“That’s not for you to decide,” Sebastian snapped.  
Kav looked back at the floor. “You and Franck seem happy.”  
“Well he’s certainly not paranoid like you.”  
Kavinsky rubbed at a spot on the floor with his shoe. “I can’t say I’m not jealous…but I’m glad you found someone.”  
“This is you being happy for me? I’d hate to see you actually trying to sabotage our relationship,” Sebastian said.  
Kavinsky glanced at him. “See what I mean? I’m convinced that I’m doing the right thing…and then I go and say something like that. Do you think its possible for us to really be friends?”  
Sebastian folded his arms and took a breath. “Yeah I do…I just can’t trust you.”  
“That’s fair,” Kavinsky said. “I’m sorry, in advance, if I act a certain way. It’s just…I might not entirely be over you. I’m trying. You don’t make it easy.”  
Sebastian felt his chest tightening. “I care about Franck. I don’t want to hurt him. And I’m not leaving him anytime soon. But I don’t think I’m quite over you either.”  
Kavinsky looked ahead. “I’m going to try and not let that make me happy.”  
“It wasn’t supposed to,” Sebastian said and punched his arm. “I’m not trying to get back with you. I just need to be honest. We can friends, but it’s going to be complicated. I need you to respect that.”  
Kavinsky nodded. “Yeah. Respect.”  
“I care about him,” Sebastian said again.  
Kav smiled and mussed up Seb’s hair. “Yeah, yeah. I believe you.” He pushed off the counter and headed back through the doors. Sebastian turned and leaned his head on the cool counter top. He couldn’t tell if that had been a step in the right direction, or a leap backwards.  
   
24

The evening culminated in many fond memories, such as Uffie standing on the couch and daintily lifting the edge of her skirt and kicking the jenga tower asunder when she grew bored with its antics. And not so fond memories, of Gaspard throwing up in the bathroom and Sebastian holding his hair.  
“Why did you drink so much?” Sebastian was asking, a dumb question considering how much he’d consumed after his conversation with Kavinsky.  
“Sometimes…”Gaspard said, leaning back against the wall. “It’s so hard to be happy.”  
Sebastian had chosen not to interpret his friend’s cryptically drunken ramblings. It would work itself out.  
Franck and he had stumbled home together, with Uffie and Breakbot’s help. They crawled into Franck’s apartment, and Franck tried to get water for the both of them. But once they were in the kitchen, Franck turned around and faced Sebastian. He reached his hands up. He touched Sebastian’s cheek. Then he kissed him roughly, grappling with his shirt. Seb lifted his arms, feeling the material slide over his face, and rested his hands on Franck’s shoulders.  
It felt so nice, to be appreciated. Franck treated him with such reverence. He was warm, but they were drunk and the kisses were sloppy and his hands shook. Franck traced Sebastian’s spine, which sent shivers down his body. He leaned on Franck for support, but Franck was already off balance and he suddenly gripped Sebastian’s hips.  
“Sinking. Floor.”  
Seb tightened his grip as they sank down onto the kitchen floor. Franck laughed and Sebastian curled up beside him, resting his head on Franck’s arm.  
“I’ve never been with anyone this long,” he said.  
“I am pretty tall…” Franck mumbled.  
Sebastian weakly hit him, putting his arm across Franck’s chest, pushing his face into Franck’s side.  
“Oh,” Franck said, his arm curling around Seb’s back. “I hope you’re okay with it. I know…I know you didn’t really want this.”  
“I don’t want to hurt you,” Sebastian said into Franck’s sweater. His hands found the edges of it and he slid his hands along his stomach.  
Franck shivered. “It’s okay if you hurt me. It was worth it.”  
Sebastian pushed himself up on his elbows. He leaned over Franck and touched his face to Franck’s heartbeat.  
“Kav…Kav and I have unfinished business…”  
Franck took a deep breath. “What does…that mean…?”  
Sebastian picked his head up. “I don’t…think I’m completely over him.”  
Franck swallowed and it looked painful. Sebastian grabbed his face, wanting to make it stop.  
“I’m sorry,” he said, pushing their faces together. “It’s like, he pulled a rug out from under my feet. And you caught me, you stopped me from falling and hurting myself, but that doesn’t mean I don’t miss the rug once in a while. I got used to it, and then it was gone. And I was mad at it for a while, but that’s just because it’s easier to be mad than to miss someone.”  
Franck pushed him back a little, then ran his hand through Seb’s hair.  
“I caught you?” he asked.  
Sebastian nodded. “Like a fucking prince.”  
Franck searched Sebastian’s face for a minute, then he pulled him closer. The conversation was soon forgotten, replaced by the feeling of a body he could rely on.  
They woke up on the kitchen floor. They’d used their shirts for pillows, but they’d been too drunk to bother removing their pants. Sebastian kissed Franck until he smiled.  
“You awake?” he asked.  
Franck shook his head.  
“You feel okay?”  
He nodded.  
“Even about what I said…?”  
Franck finally opened his eyes. “You had a rough break up. It happens. Just promise you won’t cheat on me.”  
“Promise,” Sebastian sighed, feeling relieved.  
It took them a while to fully wake up. Franck made them breakfast of cereal and juice. Sebastian’s phone went off while they were eating. Pedro was calling.  
“Hey,” he answered.  
“Sebastian!” Pedro was far too excited. “Can you come down to the shop? I know we’re closed, but I have an announcement.”  
“Sure, Pedro,” Sebastian rubbed his eyes. “Give me a little while.”  
When he hung up, Franck was called almost immediately after. He laughed and answered, “I’ll be down in 15.”  
He reached up and pulled on Sebastian’s nose. “I need a shower.”  
Sebastian nodded. “I’ll meet you over there.”  
*  
When Sebastian walked into Coffee Cats, everyone was there. Day Crew, Night Crew. Sonny and Franck. Even Kavinsky was perched on the arm of the sofa. A couple of them looked more wrecked then others. Gaspard was wearing sunglasses. Sebastian didn’t know where to go, as nearly every seat was taken. But then Uffie patted her legs and he went and sat on her. She wrapped her arms around his stomach.  
“Alright, that’s everyone,” Pedro stood up and clapped his hands. “Well…Coffee Cats is turning 10 this year. It’s kind of a big deal. So I’d like to make some announcements.”  
He made a face of nervous excitement at Bertrand. “We’re doing some renovations. When I first came here, the space next to Coffee Cats was owned by someone else. After Nicholas and Jean decided to leave, I bought the bookstore. Now, I think its time we merged the spaces and made this place one big happy store.”  
“Woah…” Xavier said.  
“What he said,” Uffie added.  
“Don’t worry guys, it won’t be quite so dramatic. But don’t you think it’s time we really unified the place?” Pedro looked anxious.  
That’s when Zdar and Boom started slowly clapping, rising up from their seats. “We believe in this shop!” Zdar said.  
“We support Busy P!” Boom shouted.  
“You inspire us!”  
Pedro smiled. “Are you sure?”  
“Yes!” Fabien said. “It’s a good idea, P.”  
Pedro sighed. “I would hate to make changes you guys weren’t cool with.”  
“We’re cool with you,” Breakbot said. “You know what you’re doing.”  
“Alright…well the construction will be starting tomorrow…so the shops will be closed for a few days. How about we have a bonding trip in the meantime?”  
“Let’s go shopping,” Uffie said.  
“No, no let’s go to an amusement park,” Kav shouted. “Roller coasters!”  
“It’s too cold for that bullshit, let’s go somewhere warm,” Xavier said.  
“The beach?” Pedro asked  
“What did I just say? It’s too cold to go outside,” Xavier snapped.  
“But I want to go swimming,” Pedro said.  
“I got it!” Kav jumped off the couch. “The indoor water park.”  
Everyone went silent for a second, contemplating. Bertrand made a face, and then nodded. “I wouldn’t mind going.”  
“Then it’s settled,” Pedro said.  
Kav thrust his hand into the air. “POOL PARTY!”  
Boom and Zdar knelt down and scooped Kavinsky off the ground and onto their shoulders. Then they started marching around the store, yelling.  
“BATHING SUITS!”  
“CHLORINE!”  
“GIRLS IN BIKINI’S!”  
“UFFIE BETTER WEAR SOMETHING REALLY TEENY!”  
“Boys,” she waved her hand at them. “I’ll have to talk to Steve, see what he has lined up.”  
Fabien wiggled his eyebrows at her. “So you mean we’ll have to talk to Steve first and make sure he gets you something nice.”  
“Oh stop,” she touched her cheek.  
“Look at you playing innocent,” Sebastian said.  
She punched him. “Yep. What are you going to wear, hun?”  
He shook his head. “I don’t have stuff to go swimming in.”  
Uffie’s mouth opened. Then she shoved him until he got off her. “You don’t have a bathing suit?”  
“No. It’s cool, I’ll just read,” he started to say, but Uffie only got more mad.  
She turned to Gaspard. “How did you let this happen? Jesus—come on!”  
She jumped to her feet and pulled Seb off the couch. “Who wants to go to Steve’s right now?”  
Fabien, Breakbot Zdar, Boom and Kav raised their hands. Sebastian sighed as Uffie dragged him out of the store. Franck jogged after them.  
“Uffie, let him be,” Franck said.  
The five boys behind them laughed. She stuck her tongue out at Franck.  
“The boy is out of college, he needs a fuckin bathing suit.”  
“Fine but don’t make him buy anything he doesn’t want,” he said.  
Her lips thinned.  
“Uffie,” Franck said slowly.  
She sighed. “Fine.”  
Everyone herded past Daft Records towards Steve’s clothing store. Seb could see Guy and Thomas behind the counter. Guy was holding a pair of headphones over Thomas’s ears. Thomas was nodding along to something, eyes closed. Guy was staring at him unabashedly. Seb slowed his pace, weirdly memorized by the two of them. Everyone kept walking ahead of him. Thomas reached up and put his hands over Guy’s, fitting their fingers together. He grinned. Guy’s shoulders dropped, as if any tension he’d felt had disappeared.  
“You coming?” Kav was standing there. Everyone else had gone inside Steve’s.  
Seb shook his head. “Sorry. I got distracted.”  
“See something you want?” Kav asked.  
“Maybe…” Sebastian looked away from the storefront.  
Kav waited for Seb to catch up to him. When they were side by side, Kav moved his arm towards Seb, only to awkwardly turn the gesture into a stretch.  
“What the hell was that?” Sebastian laughed at him.  
Kav covered his face and groaned. “Sorry. My brain is still used to…acting a certain way around you.”  
“Yeah you shouldn’t be putting your arm around me.” Seb told him. “That’s what you were going to do, right?”  
Kav put his hands into his pockets. “Oops. It’s just tough when you want to do something but you can’t.”  
Sebastian shook his head. “You’re terrible.”  
“What did I do?” Kav asked.  
Seb turned to face him. “I know you. You can play dumb, but you’re always thinking ahead. Just don’t flirt with me in front of Franck.”  
“So can I flirt with you when he’s not around?”  
Sebastian gave him the finger. Kav laughed loudly.  
“Calm down. You know I like you two together. He’s good for you.”  
“You mean that?” Seb asked.  
Kav smiled. “Why else would I be so jealous?”  
Sebastian had to let those words sink in for a moment. He knew Kavinsky’s game. He knew the backhanded compliments were supposed to make him feel confused. And it worked. But that didn’t change the fact that Kav had a point. If he didn’t think Franck was good, then he wouldn’t be trying so hard.  
“Come on,” Sebastian kept walking, trying not to smile. When they stepped into the store, Uffie was already in Steve’s arms, explaining the situation.  
“Steve it’s an emergency. We need bathing suits. STAT.”  
He made a thoughtful face. “Hm. Well it is the middle of winter, so we don’t have too many. I’ll see what I can do.”  
He perched Uffie on Zdar’s and Boom’s shoulders and disappeared into the back.  
“FOR ME AND SEB!” She called after him.  
“Let’s have a seat, shall we?” she patted Boom’s shaved head. They carried her to where the fitting rooms were, sitting on the couch.  
“Uffie you look like some kind of fabulous parakeet,” Kavinsky said.  
She fluffed her hair. “The most fabulous.”  
Steve kicked a box out of the backroom, sliding it over to Uffie. “Here’s some stuff.”  
She hopped down and opened the box. “Alright. Sebos, come here.”  
He sighed and sat down next to her. She began handing him bathing suit after bathing suit.  
“This is silly,” he said.  
“You don’t have to try it on, just pick one you like,” she said.  
“Uff, what do you think about this?”  
Fabien was standing among the racks, holding up a spiffy red jacket. “How about this?”  
Uffie made a face. “It looks too big for me.”  
“Not for you, princess. For me. I buy things too.”  
Her face lit up. “Oh. For you. Yeah. Yeah you’d look nice in that.”  
Fabien pulled it on over his tee shirt. He grabbed a cap from another rack and stuck it on his head, smiling for her. Her usual grin faded into something a little more intimate. Sebastian watched with pride. She was reevaluating Fabien. Turning him into more than just a coworker.  
“Earth to Uffie,” he whispered after a moment.  
She blushed and turned her gaze to the box of bathing suits. “Buy it, Feadz.”  
She then handed a pair of trunks to Seb. “How about these?”  
He held them up. They were black with red siding. He didn’t hate them.  
“Why do you call him Feadz?” Sebastian asked.  
“The same reason he got the job here,” Uffie said with a smile.  
Zdar leaned closer. “So Me caught him grafting the side of the building some years ago.”  
Boom grinned. “Instead of reporting him, he gave him a job.”  
“Said he liked his style,” Zdar added, waggling his eyebrows.  
“He was signing his stuff as Feadz,” Kavinsky finished. “Still does, sometimes.”  
“He still does art?” Uffie asked, looking at Kav.  
“Yeah,” Kav nodded. “You should go to his apartment sometime. Place is wild.”  
She looked down, trying to hide the smile crossing her lips. She glanced over at Fabien, who was talking to Steve at the other side of the room.  
Sebastian began humming very quietly, then whispered, “Uffie and Feadz…sitting in a tree.”  
She punched him. “Are you going to buy that bathing suit?”  
He shrugged. “I guess so…I don’t want to get beaten up. And I don’t like the look in your eye.”  
She smiled sweetly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  
Sebastian sat on the floor, leaning against Franck’s legs, and they all offered their commentary as Uffie tried to pick something out. Everyone insisted that she try about 17 different suits on. Boom tried to sneak a photo and she kicked him. She settled on a classy blue number that Steve approved of.  
They stepped out into the chilly air. Boom rubbed his hands together.  
“See you guys tomorrow. We’re going to take you down!”  
Zdar made a face and screamed. “Night crew! WOOP! WOOP!”  
They ran off together.  
“What’s that about?” Seb asked.  
Franck looped their arms together. “They’re probably planning some game for the trip tomorrow. It’s always Night crew versus Day Crew.”  
“Sounds dangerous,” Seb said.  
Kav grinned. “My kind of day. See you tomorrow.”  
He started heading down the alley towards his apartment.  
“I better not see that god damn man-kini again, Kavinsky!” Uffie shouted.  
He turned and showed his empty palms. “I make no promises.”


End file.
